Respect Ch. 04

"There you are." My husband smiled as Charli and I rejoined them. He was standing with Charles and Paul, while Angela and Lisa sat together on the sofa talking.

"We were just forming a search party." Charles laughed.

"I was just cleaning up a bit, Master." I said to Jack, trying my best to smile for him.

"We're going to give Paul and Angie a ride home." My husband told me.

"If it's not too much trouble." Paul smiled.

Charli was holding my hand and she gave me a little squeeze. I seemed to remember something about Angela leaving her purse in their car, but then she'd also told me they took a taxi. Or had that been someone else? I was momentarily confused and caught of guard and my smile faltered for a moment.

"Are you okay?" Jack frowned a little and the other two men looked at me as well.

"Maybe you should just take her home, Jack." Paul said.

"No...No, I'm okay." I smiled and looked at them. "The baby was just kicking a little, that's all."

"Why don't you guys get the car and we'll keep an eye on your girls." Charli suggested, and after everyone agreed on that she led me to the sofa so we could sit down with Angela and Lisa. Charles joined us as well, getting comfortable in one of the arm chairs and calling Lisa over to sit on his lap.

"Doesn't it bother you?" I asked Charli softly, "I mean they look so close to each other."

Charles and Lisa looked very close. She had her arms around him, and their faces were close together, whispering and smiling and looking very much in love. If I hadn't known better I would have thought they were married.

"No." Charli smiled, taking no offense to my question. "They look good together."

"They look yummy together, you mean." Angela laughed.

"I don't know, I guess..." I sighed. I was sitting next to a woman who had given my husband a blow job, and then watched as I did the same with hers.

"Charles and I were looking for Lisa for a long time." Charli said seriously. "How long did we look for Lisa, darling?" She asked her husband.

"Lisa was busy divorcing her ex-husband." Angela whispered in my ear with a giggle. "Long story." I just gave her quick smile, finally realizing that these people probably knew each other very well.

"Hmmm? Oh, uh six years I guess...seven?" Charles shrugged and kissed Lisa on the lips. "Too long."

"Yeah, seven years I think." Charli nodded. "Since right after we were married."

"Why?" I asked, not really understanding at all.

"Well, we're both Dominant for one thing." Charli laughed. "We both want to be on top. And we wanted to share someone, and be with someone who could be shared. That's usually the hardest thing. Most people can't give themselves to more than one person, at least not permanently." She looked at her husband and Lisa, now kissing deeply, oblivious to everyone around them. "But she can."

And it was obvious that the woman was in love with both of them and I couldn't even imagine that. All I wanted to do was devote myself to my husband. I could never share him, not like that.

"I couldn't do it." Angela chuckled. "I'd kill my husband if he ever looked at another woman the way he looks at me."

I glanced at her, swallowing hard and wondering whether or not she really did know Paul had fucked me. "But you...I heard, um...You have an open relationship." I looked at Charli who was nodding. "Right?"

"Yeah, we do." Angela smiled. "But that's just sex. I mean there's sex, and..." she shrugged "...that's nothing really. And then there's friends, like you guys. And I'd never get jealous of a friend." She was looking into my eyes and I was afraid to look away. "And then there's me."

"And there's only one of you, Angela." Charli giggled.

"And there's only one of me, ma'am, damn right." Angela laughed too.

"I had sex with your husband." I said it before I even knew I was doing it, literally. It was as if I were voicing a thought that I'd meant to keep in my head, but hadn't and I winced, closing my eyes.

"Excuse me?" Angela asked, sounding confused and I realized that hse hadn't known anything. "Did you just say you and Paul...had sex?"

Everyone was looking, even Charles and Lisa had stopped kissing and just sat there. I hadn't picked a very good place, or a very good time to play true confession and I could feel my eyes growing wet. But I'd never been able to keep a secret, not one that made me feel guilty the way that one had. It was why I'd told my husband the same day I'd cheated on him, and now I was telling Paul's wife.

"He uh, seven months ago, I went to the clinic, where he works and somehow..." I was speaking so soft Angela had to lean close to hear me and I cleared my throat, glancing up. "I don't know why, or anything it just...happened."

"Shhh..." It's okay, sweetie." Charli was rubbing my shoulders and I really did have tears then.

"He hurt you, didn't he?" Angela asked quietly, or perhaps it wasn't a question, I couldn't be sure.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't..."

"That bastard." Angela reached out to touch my face and I jerked slightly, thinking at first she was going to hit me or something. "He knows better." She was stroking my skin and all I could do was look down.

"I'm sorry, Angela." I pressed my face against her hand.

"You're just a child, how old are you?" She lifted my chin gently, and I could see only concern on her face. It was like she was just now seeing me for the first time.

"Twenty one. I...I was twenty when..." I closed my eyes. "...when we did it."

"He knows better." Angela glanced over my shoulder at Charli. "Just another notch. He couldn't even remember her name. What an ass."

"There's more." Charli said, and I think she was talking to me as much as Angela.

"More?" She narrowed her eyes while I took a deep breath.

I didn't want to go on, but Charli seemed to think I should tell Angela everything. I was so frightened right then, I mean she seemed pretty angry with her husband already, but I was a little confused by it. I guess the sex part didn't bother her as much as the who part, but she hadn't even known me. But maybe she just knew my type. Young and inexperienced, probably very easy prey for Paul. I sensed that Angela was simply angry because her husband had such little respect for what had happened to me after he'd finished fucking me. It made me wonder if this hadn't happened before with some other girl.

But now I was about to tell Angela that my baby was actually mine and Paul's. That her husband had a child coming and I hadn't really considered what all of that might mean. I'd spent seven months alone with it growing inside me. It had been mine and mine alone for so long, it just hadn't occurred to me that it didn't only belong to me anymore...or once I told him about it, at least. Then it would be ours. It would have parents, a mother and a father. I felt dizzy and my stomach churned as I tried to understand what all that meant while Angela waited impatiently, her fingers still on my face.

"We had sex seven months ago." I said, slowly repeating what I'd told her before. I was looking into her bright green eyes, but there was only confusion there. She didn't really understand until I looked down, bringing my hands to my stomach.

"You mean..." Her eyes got wide and then she was looking down too. "Your baby is...Paul's?"

I nodded, feeling as if I might cry again and Angela's hand fell away from my face slowly. Nobody was saying anything and I just sat there, holding my swollen stomach, feeling it warm and alive beneath the thin latex that covered it. I was bracing myself, waiting for the explosion I felt was certain to come. She must have been angry now, and not just with her husband. How could I have let myself get pregnant? She'd ask me that and I'd have no answer. And then she might ask why I was carrying it to term, and again there would be nothing I could say.

"Lisa's husband doesn't know who the father is." Charli said.

"Mmmm...I'd guess not. They're like bestest friends now." Angela said sarcastically. "And you never told Paul?"

"No." I said, shaking my head. "I...I'm sorry." It was all I could say, and I'd said it so many times over the last seven months I'd begun to wonder what it really meant. Or if I really meant it. But of course I did, now more than ever.

"You don't have to be sorry. Look at me." Angela tilted my head again, forcing me to open my eyes with her voice. "It takes two to tango, I know, but he should have known better, believe me. He can be pretty charming though, can't he?" She was trying to get me to smile, or at least relax, but I was too nervous, too worn out from trying to deal with all of the emotions in my head.

"He's seriously charming." Charli agreed, giving my shoulders a little squeeze. "That's his problem. He gets away with too much."

"Well, he's not going to get away with this." Angela said. "Don't worry, I'll talk to him, and Jack too. You must have been worried sick over this!" She was hugging me, putting her arms around me and holding me close and I almost started to think everything might be okay somehow. Angela would tell them everything and...

"You can't tell them." Charli said. "Lisa has to."

"What? Why?" Angela pulled away slightly and I turned my head, wondering the same thing.

"Because it's her baby, for one thing." Charli gave us a little look, like that was obvious. "And for another, she needs to confess. Jack needs to hear it from her and understand that she's sorry. If you try and get her off the hook, it'll always be there between them."

"But..." Angela started to protest but Charli cut her off.

"You can't do it. You can't apologize for Lisa and you can't make everything right by protecting her. It's between her and Jack and Paul."

"I'm married to Paul." Angela said. "He's my husband, this is his baby."

"I'm just telling you that Lisa has to break the news. It's what she's been waiting seven months for and after that..." Charli shrugged. "...you can say whatever you want."

"Do you want me to tell them, Lisa?" Angela asked me.

She'd heard what Charli had been saying, but I don't think she understood what I'd been going through, not the way Charli did. Angela wasn't exactly impartial and that changed things maybe. She was sympathetic with me, and I was very grateful for that. Perhaps she'd been in a situation similar to mine, I had no idea. Or maybe Paul had placed her in this same position before, it certainly seemed possible, given her reaction.

"Charles, maybe you and Lisa could wait in the foyer in case the boys show up. We might be here for awhile." Charli told her husband.

"Sure, babe." Charles nodded, and Lisa hopped off of him. "We'll wait in the elevator."

"The elevator?" Lisa giggled. "Why, Master?"

"I've never done it in an elevator." Charles shrugged. "Have you?

"Mistress told me not to tell you!" Lisa grinned at Charli.

"Traitor." Charli laughed.

"Somebody's gonna get a spanking later." Charles said, leading Lisa out of the room. "I can feel it."

"You mean I can feel it!" Lisa laughed and then they were gone.

I was smiling despite myself, almost forgetting everything in their pleasure, but Angela's hand on my thigh reminded me that she was waiting for an answer. I wanted her to tell them, my husband and Paul, and save me from having to face them. But I had to agree with Charli, it was my baby and my problem, really. Not Angela's. She was Paul's wife, true, but it only involved her in an abstract way, at least for the moment. It seemed completely out of control, really, and I really wished I hadn't said anything to her.

"No, I have to do it." I sucked my lower lip for a second. "I have to tell them, or...I don't know. My husband has to hear it from me, I think."

"I want to be there, though." Angela told me and I nodded. I wouldn't mind having her there, I figured I'd need all the support I could get, and apparently Angela was on my side. I just didn't understand why.

We were quiet for a little while. I tried to imagine the different things my husband might say, how he might react. I didn't think he'd punch Paul in the nose, but he might. Or he might hit me, but I seriously doubted that. He'd be unhappy though, I knew that much. We'd gone almost 3 months without talking, and spent the last four growing gradually closer. But I sensed our relationship was still fragile and I was about to test the delicate balance we'd struck.

"What are you going to do with the baby?" Angela asked me.

"Jack doesn't want it." I said, making a small gesture of resignation. "I was going to get an abortion, but I couldn't. It's my baby, so..." I looked down at my tummy, "...I'm going to give it up for adoption."

"Adoption?" Charli shook her head sadly. "We adopted a little boy last year, Mason. He's going to be four next month."

"I..." Angela started talking, then stopped, narrowing her eyes like she was focusing on something far away. "I didn't really have a miscarriage. It was an abortion."

We were quiet for a minute, just watching Angela.

"I was 16 and this guy, some guy I thought I loved, he uh...I got pregnant. And I looked for him, you know, and he was gone. Just like that. Took off and so I..." She looked at us finally and her eyes were wet. "Heh...You'd think I'd cried enough over this." She wiped her eyes and shook her head. "I went to get an abortion but it didn't work too good and...I dunno, it didn't work and he was gone and..."

I hugged her, not saying anything, just pulling the woman close. Charli moved as well, getting up and sitting on the other side of Angela, so we could hold her between us.

"It was my first time." She took a ragged breath. "We did it once and I was pregnant." Angela looked at me. "God, what I wouldn't give to have my baby back."

"What happened?" I asked softly.

"He died." Angela nodded, not really looking at anything anymore. Her eyes were almost vacant. "Inside me. I was bleeding and he came out and I couldn't have kids anymore. I was sixteen." She turned her head, looking at Charli. "But that's what I deserve, right? For killing my baby? It's fair, right?"

"Oh, Angie." Charli sighed and there was nothing more we could say.

I understood then that Angela was in a far darker place than I was. All I needed was my husband's forgiveness and I was saved. I'd be free from my guilt and able to respect myself again. To love myself. But Angela, who was going to forgive her? God? Maybe, but if He had, Angie didn't know it. Her dead baby? There was no one else, or so it seemed anyway. She had to forgive herself, that was clear, but she was like me. She needed someone to show her how, to lead her out of that cold dark place she'd been in for nearly half of her life.

I didn't understand all of it, or how it affected her, or what it meant in terms of her interest in BDSM and open marriage and whatever. I was still too new to all of this. It would take a psychiatrist, I thought, or a psychologist like her husband, and that thought gave me some hope. It seemed obvious to me that Paul loved his wife and so I felt equally sure he must be trying to help her with this. But he was a man, and he'd come after the fact, and he had his own wants and desires as well. Like having sex with me, which seemed totally at odds with a man who might have sympathy for Angela's experience. But what did I know anyway?

I knew what I had to do.

"I want you to have my baby." I told Angela, holding her hands in mine, feeling sure about a decision for the first time in a long time. A very long time. "It's Paul's baby too and I can't keep it. I want you to be the mother of my child."

"What?" Angela looked at me with tortured eyes. "Didn't you hear what I said? I killed my baby..."

"I forgive you." I said. "I trust you. Please, I want you to do this. Do it for my baby, for yourself, Angela. There's a reason for this, for all of this..."

I could see it in her face, the desperation to believe me. She was looking for it so hard, the miracle I thought I could see, but was afraid to voice. This couldn't be coincidence, could it? All of this, my pregnancy, Paul being the father, my husband's reaction leading us here to find Angela. It wasn't an accident, it was a sign, or so I wanted to believe. It was God finally forgiving her. She only had to say yes.

But she was so far gone. So deep in that hole, I just didn't know.

"It wasn't your fault, Angie." Charli whispered. "You were just sixteen. You can't blame yourself."

"It's your baby." I told her, my voice stronger. "Yours now, please say yes. Please, Angela."

"I'm afraid..." Angela squeezed my hands tightly.

"It's okay..." Charli stroked Angela's shoulders, whispering in her ear.

"It's okay to be scared. I am too." I said. "Here...feel this." I brought Angela's hands to my tummy, the baby was awake again, and restless. "Do you feel it? Can you feel it moving? It's alive, Angela...It needs a mother. I can't do it."

"I feel it." Angela was crying again, although she'd never really stopped.

"Wait..." I had an even better idea. "Unzip me."

I turned around and Charli reached around Angela, pulling the zipper down. I stood up, reaching with my arms to pull the neck over my head, the material stretching as I did so until my shoulders slipped out of the back. I pulled my hands through, getting caught on my left glove for a moment in my haste, but it was a little thing and I soon had the rubber bodysuit down around my knees and thighs.

"Touch me now." I said, setting down on the sofa, naked from mid-thigh up and wishing I could have taken off everything, but I didn't want to spend the time on my boots.

I felt Angela's hands, soft and warm and tentative, barely brushing my smooth round tummy with her fingertips. I just lay back, watching her, letting her explore my body. There was nothing else I could say to her, I knew, this was my last argument before Angela would decide if she was forgiven or not.

I sighed as Angela's hands became stronger. She pressed her palms to my belly, sliding across my skin and smiling as she felt the baby hidden inside me. Charli was still behind her, playing her fingers across Angela's shoulders and lightly down her arms to the elbows and back up. She was rubbing her breasts against Angela's back, keeping the girl close, adding to the intimacy of the moment. We were all alone in that room, which may as well have been the world entire.

"Try listening." I suggested and shifted my body slightly, frowning at my legs.

"Need help?" Charli smiled, ever aware of what we were thinking it seemed, and she slipped down to the floor so she could undo the laces of my boots.

I smiled back, bringing my hands to Angela's long red hair as she laid her cheek on my stomach, holding her breath I think as she listened. Every now and then she'd glance up at me, smiling child-like and moving her hands along the sides of my waist, caressing me. It was so pleasant like that, holding her and being held, sharing the baby inside me.

Charli had undone my leather boots and helped free me from the confines of the bodysuit. She stroked my legs and I arranged myself slowly, Angela moving so that she was lying between my spread legs, on her stomach with her cheek still against my skin. She didn't resist bit only sighed gratefully as Charli began undressing her, removing Angela's silk blouse and then her skirt, sliding it down the woman's long legs.

"I heard it, I think." Angela said softly, kissing my tummy. "It's so beautiful."

"You're beautiful." I replied, brushing Angela's hair out of her eyes. "It's your baby." I prayed that she would accept that and not refuse my assertion.

"My baby." She lifted her face, licking her lips nervously perhaps. "My baby..." She took a sharp breath, nodding her head and I let out the breath I was holding, accepting Angela eagerly as she moved carefully along my body, holding herself above so that we could kiss.