Road Trip

{I mentioned in another story that I would write about what happened down at that man's club I belong to. The last time we went, we left just as the getting was pretty good, a woman named Sid who is a body builder was up on the stage.

We know her from the gym Debra and I belong to.

As it turns out, Sid was..well...naked? Most of you have seen those muscle shows, normally in skimpy bikinis. But this was a private show, at a private club down the coast about 90 miles.

When we figured out that the only reason those old men let us in was because they thought that Debs was going to be part of the show, we left since she was not prepared for that. The two of us were back in the car and headed home, it was raining like a Cow pissing on a flat rock when I noticed her reaction.

Debra was fairly quiet all the way home, not like her one bit. At first I thought maybe she was pissed off at me for dragging her along to a show like that, but then I realized she wasn't.

My Debs got sort of fussed up at the idea, but we were back on the road before it really registered on her.

That I figured out when she undid her seat belt, scooted over next to me and hooked up the center one. She sends signals when she gets fussed up, and she was now sending them.

I managed to stay on the road, barely.

Anyway, I did join up with that old coot's club later on, partly as a joke and partly serious, but up until a few weeks ago all I ever did was go to their local meetings. Only two of them because it's 90 miles down there.

That is mostly just old men sitting around telling each other stories, probably all lies except for the ones I told, about things they did when they were young. They drink some, play some illegal slot machines that never pay off, shoot pool, stuff like that.

But two, perhaps three times per year they have what they call "visitations" where one club chapter visits another one. There are other chapters all over the country as I found out.

That is when the shows happen, sometimes a stripper or two, sometimes some videos, I guess they bring in topless bartenders although I have never seen even that to this point. The one Debs and I tried to go to had female body builders, in pretend competition but the real idea was to see them all naked.

Just old men having some fun, harmless stuff.

So this tale is about what happened, back on September the 13th, which is a Friday, by the way. You don't have to believe me, I almost don't myself.}

+++

"You should go, honey." Debra told me when the envelope arrived in the mail.

"Reno? Hell, I like Reno but I didn't even go to the one they held over in Bend. Why do these things always have to be so damn far away?"

"Oh, it's not that far, you and I fly down there once or twice a year anyway."

"Reno by myself? To heck with that. Hey, why don't you come with me? That I might go for." I told her.

"OK. Let's do it, and drive down? I have two weeks off work coming, we can relax and play and you can go to your silly visitation thing."

"Hey, maybe if Jack and Terry are in town, we can get a massage or two?" I asked with a grin.

Debs smiled at that. We like those, they are naughty and fun.

So, it was decided, a road trip it would be.

+++

So, we decided to go, for the visitation meetings at the Loyal Order of the Eternal Yak. (Yea, that isn't what my club is really called, I have a reason for not naming it.)

But this trip was different, normally we fly down, even though that means 3 hours driving to Portland, an hour at the airport, another 90 minutes in the air. Hell, that is six hours plus right there, the drive is only about 8 hours.

I added it up and not having to rent a room in Portland put us nearly $150.00 cheaper to drive down.

+++

Debs has this new Camaro she bought, I thought her buying that was silly but she liked it because it reminded her of the old 1969 Camaro she owned back in college.

I had one of those, well, a 1968 model way back when they sold used for maybe $800, I should have kept it when I see what one goes for at the auctions in today's world. That old car I fit into, this one? Well, it's nice but a bit cramped.

If you can imagine a 58 year old Registered Nurse Practitioner driving a new RS Camaro then you get the picture. My six foot frame does fit into it but barely, I have to tilt the steering wheel up with the seat all the way down and back, even then it takes some wiggling.

Riding in the passenger seat is better but not much better except I can tip the seat back and sleep.

One good thing, no way could Debs pack the suitcases the way she usually does, the trunk will hold just two of the smaller ones and one slightly bigger in the rear seat.

Nobody with legs can ride in the back seat of one of these cars. Legs don't fit between the back of the front seat and the rear one, not with me in there.

Back when we went on the ocean cruise I was grateful to see a kid show up to take the bags, at 70 years old dragging those suitcases up the ramp to the ship was out of the question for me.

This time Debs packed nice and light, she had to. Two pairs of jeans and one pair of slacks, 7 pairs of underwear for me.

Debs knows me pretty well, I guess. You older guys know all about what us old men do to underwear.

+++

Anyway, once we got onto interstate 5 headed South it wasn't so bad, the weather was clear and traffic was average.

Debs drove to Medford which is where we stopped for gas. That town is laid out by people with rocks in their heads, all of the streets are divided by raised concrete dividers. To make any left turn you have to turn right, go down the street, get into the left lane and cross four lanes of traffic in a U turn.

The fuel stations are not right next to the freeway like every other town in America, so we got to drive around for awhile before we finally figured out how to get to one.

Debs was muttering, then she took a shortcut across a store parking lot, made a U turn at a sign that read "No U Turn", then down an alley between two buildings. There was a "do not enter" sign but no one was coming so we entered, laughing.

"You are going to get a ticket!" I laughed at her when she did that.

"I will just explain that I am from Oklahoma, so it's OK." She laughed right back.

Debs was born in Oklahoma, but she left there when her folks moved as a little girl. That lame joke comes up often around our house.

I took over after we filled the tank, Debra's idea of driving briskly is 55 miles per hour and my computer told me the trip was 567 miles from our house on the Oregon coast.

"Should have taken an airplane." I muttered at one point.

"Slow down, Harold! You are going to kill us." Debs told me in her best little old lady voice. I guess I was rolling along just under 80 at the time.

"It's OK, we are in a high performance sports car. Any cops that see us go by will just be impressed." I wisecracked.

We were having fun, the world changed from huge Fir trees to shorter pines, then scrub trees, and pretty much just rocks as we zoomed by.

She just grinned, then she asked me to pull off at Mount Shasta, which is a small town close to the California border. I think, or maybe it is in California, I am not sure.

We ate at a place called the Black Bear Diner, kind of rustic and lots of stuff to look at. It was crazy busy which was a surprise for it being 2 in the afternoon. I discovered why when I saw the plates they brought, my God the food!

Then back on the freeway, Debra ran shotgun since she had a map she printed out on the computer. The car has a little computer in the dash, I could set the thing to record the miles to each place we needed to change roads.

Going over the mountain was a pain, it was a single lane and good lord were there lots of trucks! 20 miles per hour climbing that crooked stretch of road. Later we found highway 89 which is fairly fast, then I saw the road open up as we turned more to the South.

When I saw the sign that read "70 MPH" I slid the machine up to 85 and got into the left lane. Debra's Camaro only has a little V-6 engine but it rolls along easily, just loafing at 85.

Drifting up on traffic I never once took it off cruise control, they just slid over and let us go on by.

At one point we came up behind a slower machine, it moved over and I realized it was a California Highway patrolman.

"Oh shit!" I mumbled, but he just looked over at us and we kept right on going.

I guess there is something to be said for driving a high performance sports car, the little Camaro handles like nothing else on Earth that I ever drove and the tires are as wide as the ones on my big Dodge truck.

Then finally we were on highway 395, then highway 80 and we were there. The clock read 9 hours and 15 minutes, pretty close to what the computer said the trip took.

And my butt hurt like hell.

+++

We checked in at the hotel and casino, they treat us like royalty there. Ever since I won that new car way back in 2004 in a drawing, they treat me like that. Back then I hadn't met Debra yet, the first time the two of us went to this club together it was on our honeymoon and I mentioned my picture on the wall. So we had to go find it, sure enough, there was my smiling face holding up a cutout of a new car worth $42,000.00.

Yep, that is still there. I had more hair back then.

Probably because they want their money back, but that is neat because everything is free. Which is why we always stay there.

Once in the room, the first thing I did was call Jack and Terry. That is a couple who gave us massages the last time we were down there. But no luck, the two of them were in Vegas and would not be in Reno for a couple of days.

I did book them for the 12th, that is one fun couple. They do what is known as "tandem" massages, which is Debs and I both at once in the same room. By the 3rd session the two of them were used to us and had developed some trust and those rubdowns became way more naughty than the first couple of massages.

So to be honest, I was sort of looking forward to that, but not to be. Instead, we ended up going over to the Silver Legacy, they have a spa there.

Just nice normal massages over there, but my fanny was protesting and this heavy set gal did a fine job of making that feel a lot better. The lady that worked on Debra was older but she said she was OK, also.

Different rooms that time, of course.

The next two days went just like that, we soaked in the hot tub in our room, fiddled around with each other, did the different places to eat, lost our shirts on the slot machines.

The Italian place has about every pasta dish a person can imagine, and there is a 24 hour standard fare place. The Grill is our favorite, they have a salad bar to die for.

So for the first couple of days, that was the way it went. Just doing whatever popped into our heads to do. We even went down to the pool, that is nice but one must time it right or the area is shaded by the nearby tall buildings.

There was no hanky panky there, either, the hotel does not allow topless or nudity of any kind, probably due to all of the kids running around raising hell.

At one point Debs and I went outside, down one of the alleys was a club so we checked that out. They had dancers, bored looking gals wandering around with no clothes on.

"What would you say if I were to do something like that?" Debs asked me at one point.

"You mean, get up there and dance? Like...naked?" I asked her in surprise.

"Yeah." She grinned at me.

"Go for it, babe. I will even tip you a buck." I laughed.

By the time we got back to our room Debs was feeling pretty good, so she ran a tub full of water and we got in and fiddled around for awhile.

The water was pretty hot and the jets the tub has made it feel even hotter, so I had to get out. Debs can handle way more of that than me, so I lay there on the bed and watched her.

That is great fun, my wife has one hell of a body on her for her age. With all of that gym work back home, she is barely over 120 pounds now.

When she got out and dried off and came over to climb on top of me, her body still felt hot which was nice.

Making love after a long soak is sweet, what we did was get into position and lick each other. I am lucky in that Debs loves to do that to me, but then I guess she is lucky because I love to do it to her right back.

We both keep things completely waxed, I will never forget her taking me in to have a lady do that to me.

Now that is an experience right there, let me tell you. I read about people who mix pain and pleasure, to me that seems weird but there is something there I guess. Especially if you happen to get the right gal to handle things, if you know what I mean. Yes, I know. Most wives would have your nuts in a pickle jar for something like that, not my wife. She sat out in the waiting room reading a magazine, probably giggling when I let out some yelps.

That was my first experience with that.

My Debs just happened to know the right gal, too. Being a Registered Nurse does have it's advantages, Debs knows everything about everyone in our little coastal town.

Yea, we are a couple of sexy old people, no jealousy at all between us. I think that all by itself makes our relationship different. Sex is just for us, playing is something else entirely and we have different standards of what play is than most folks.

To Debra, sexuality is a nice part of being alive, I admit I wasn't that way before but she changed me.

+++

A few of the men from the club began to arrive Thursday night, Henry Miller from down the coast came by our room, bringing another guy I didn't know. But then I barely know henry, what I do know about him is that you don't want to get into a pool game with him for money. He cleaned me out for $8.00 the last time, a buck a game.

We had barely gotten out of bed, it was just past 10 in the morning. We both jumped into the fuzzy white robes the hotel supplied.

Henry I guess is in his middle sixties, the other fellow was younger, probably not yet 50. Henry introduced him as David, we shook hands.

"Call me Dave." He told me, eyeballing Debs. Her robe only had a belt to wrap around the middle and tie there and it was obvious that was all she had on.

Henry was telling me the agenda for the club, I noticed Dave kept looking at Debs. Easy to see why, she had about half of her right tit and one heck of a lot of her legs showing.

Plus she kept moving around, she was right on the edge of flashing them but not quite. I am used to that, sort of. Every time we have been in Reno my Debs either has a lot showing or is running around the casino with no panties on.

She is a little bit that way, exhibitionist I mean. Now I don't really mind that one bit, it's sort of fun in the right situation. But that Dave guy had eyes like a lizard and my instinct was to go over and tug Debra's robe around some.

Finally the two of them left.

"Jeez, honey. You nearly showed that guy your beaver." I told her. She just laughed and shrugged.

"So when is your thing, you know, the big meeting?" She asked me.

"Friday evening, they have the private party room rented for the night."

"Oh. It's just the guys, too, no wives?" She asked.

"Yea, I guess. You don't mind, do you?"

"No, of course not. That is part of why we came, so all of you old farts can have some fun." She giggled at that, then went to get dressed.

Downstairs, I was wading into a New York steak and Eggs when I looked up and here came Sid.

You would need to see Sid to understand, she is a female body builder. Back at the gym we go to we see her all the time, without fail she wears these tiny little suits that hide right at the edge of nothing. The tops are just strings with little triangles that are maybe two square inches of cloth, the bottoms are also just strings with a triangle patch and that triangle reached barely to her butt hole.

I know that for a fact because Sid is not one bit shy, in fact she is completely proud of her body. I see her on the legs machine regular as clockwork, she knows how much is showing and I think she likes doing that.

I did get to see her completely naked just once, that was at that show she and a couple of other gals were putting on down the coast way back. Even after having seen her in her tiny work out outfits, seeing her nude up on the stage was spectacular.

Women who work out a lot seem to develop vaginas that bulge, now I am not sure as to why that is but I know it is true. Debra's has been doing that also, at first I thought it was just because she went and got her loins waxed but now I am sure she is much puffier in that department than she was 5 years ago when we got married.

Or maybe it is because I fiddle with her a couple of times a week, maybe that is it? I know, I am 70 and supposed to be slowing down but my gal won't stand for that.

Anyway, Sid had on a tank top style T-shirt that was cut off to show her muscular belly, and a pair of slacks that someone must have pulled over her fanny and then tamped it down.

Good lord did she look nasty, her smallish boobs shoved out against the top she had on, clear as a bell.

"Hey, guys!" She called out, heading for our table. She had another overly muscled woman with her.

That one looked a little bit scarey, her arms and shoulders made mine look skinny and I am right at 180 pounds now.

"This is Kathy, she is here for the show." We all shook hands and they joined us. Kathy was a short haired redhead, the color was clearly not real. Her boobs appeared to be not real, either, like Sid her nipples poked out and it was clear she had no bra on either. Instead of jiggling like real boobs do, hers sort of hopped up and down.

They were getting quite a few looks from the other folks in the restaurant, but I think both of them were completely used to that.

We all chatted about everything under the Sun, then Sid and Debs got up to go use the bathroom.

Which left me alone with Kathy.

"You are cute, Sid told me all about you." She gave me a big smile.

"Hopefully she lied." I wisecracked.

Kathy tipped her head back and laughed at the lame joke.

"Sid was telling me about you, how your wife says you are quite the stud." She looked me in the eyes, which I now realized were green. Green enough in fact that I was thinking they were contacts.

"Uhh...my wife brags too much." I managed.

"I am betting she doesn't need to make very much up. Sid tells me you are hung like a Horse!" Kathy leaned forward and whispered to me. Her right hand reached out and touched my left forearm.

All that did was make my face turn red. I must admit that it is not a normal thing to have a pretty muscle bound woman sitting at my table rather blatantly flirting with me. Hell, I am 70 years old, for crying out loud.

Just then Debs and Sid came back and saved me.

Later, I told Debs what Kathy had said.

"Why, that little bitch! I can't believe that, she knows you and I are married. And how in the hell does Sid know you are hung like a horse?" She looked at me, I caught the smirk in her eyes.

"I..I don't know, I haven't exactly made it a practice of going around and showing off my junk to women. Besides, I'm not....?"

"Oh yes you are, honey." Debs was laughing now.

OK. That made me feel sort of good, it would any man to know his woman brags about him.

+++

That afternoon Jack and Terry arrived, they came up to the room. Jack and I shook hands, Terry gave me a huge hug while Jack gave Debra one.

Like I mentioned, this couple have become sort of friends, they do massages and of course we pay them because that is their business. But we also take them out to dinner, we visit, back home we keep in touch via Facebook and email.

The relationship is not exactly close friends, but still close to that if that makes any sense at all.