Rough Boys Ch. 12

This is a copyrighted work of fiction. All rights reserved.

All characters engaged in sexual acts in this story are at least eighteen years of age.

****

Ty awoke to the smell of bacon and coffee. His stomach rumbled.

He stretched slowly, groaning softly as pain shot through his battered body. Jumbled memories of the previous day skittered into his mind, taking his breath away with their intensity. But the bed was warm and soft. The sheets smelled like Abe. There was some part deep inside of Ty that was ecstatic that he was with Abe again. He didn't examine that feeling too closely, and it was overlaid with a deep sadness for the misery he seemed to have made of himself, but nevertheless, it comforted him.

He had to pee. Moving very slowly, he climbed out of bed and made his way to the bathroom. After taking care of business, he paused at the mirror. One of his eyes was a little bruised and swollen, his lip was fat, and he had a cut above his eyebrow and a dark bruise on his forehead. Overall, he didn't look quite as battered as he usually did when his dad beat him up. That realization caused a wave of bitterness.

His testicles were sore and his ass definitely hurt, and those were things his father never did to him. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, willing his mind to go blank. Instead of blankness, an intense craving for the euphoria of heroin washed over him. Damn! He gripped the edge of the counter tightly, fighting the little voice that was already plotting how to get more drugs.

"Ty?"

Ty opened the bathroom door to find Abe standing outside it.

The black man looked Ty over anxiously and attempted a small smile.

"How are you feeling?"

"Okay."

"I made breakfast. Are you hungry?"

"Starving!" Ty replied, flashing Abe a genuine smile.

Abe's answering grin showed his relief. "Why don't you go back to bed and I'll bring it to you?"

"Breakfast in bed?" Ty cocked an eyebrow. "I'm not an invalid." He stepped past Abe into the bedroom.

"I know, but I think it would be fun. I'll bring mine in here too."

Ty sighed happily and climbed gingerly back into bed. "You're spoiling me," he protested.

"And I think that's okay," Abe replied, heading back into main room.

A few minutes later he appeared with a tray laden with food for Ty and himself. He had made bacon, eggs and toast. There was also orange juice and coffee.

Ty didn't think he'd eaten a real meal since Tim's house, and that had usually been take-out. He tucked in with enthusiasm.

Abe ate too, but kept a watchful eye on Ty the whole time, as if he were afraid that the youth would suddenly vanish.

When they had finished and Abe had cleared the dishes away, he came back and sat on the edge of the bed, a serious expression on his face.

"What?" Ty asked, almost irritably. He knew Abe had questions he didn't want to answer. Whatever Abe had to say, he was sure he didn't want to hear it.

Throughout breakfast he had been wrestling with the desire for more drugs. It seemed to be building and he was at the point where he was ready to go out and start looking for some. He didn't have any shoes though and he had no money to even buy a pair of flip-flops let alone a hit of smack.

And another part of his mind argued desperately against the cravings. Do you really want to spend your life as a drugged-out zombie?

Now, at least, a serious discussion with Abe would be a distraction of sorts, if unpleasant. He looked at Abe expectantly.

"Ty, I'd like to bring you down to the clinic to get you checked out." He cut off Ty's immediate protest with a raised hand. "There's a place just around the corner. Please, Ty! I'm worried about you."

"I don't have any money," was Ty's first argument.

"I don't think they'll charge much—they're non-profit. And I'll cover whatever it is. It'll be worth it to me to know that you're going to heal well, without complications."

"I feel fine," Ty protested.

"Ty, you don't want to put off finding out you're seriously injured until you start to feel really bad. It could happen suddenly and then you'd end up in the hospital."

"Why can't you examine me?" Ty tried. He didn't relish being looked at by anyone, but having Abe examine him in the privacy of his apartment was infinitely better than having some stranger examine him on a cold clinic table. He shuddered slightly.

Abe laid a comforting hand on Ty's. Ty looked at it and looked at Abe but didn't pull away.

"I'm not qualified, Ty. You need to see a doctor—preferably one experienced with rape victims."

Ty looked away, feeling his face grow hot with shame. He pulled his hand out of Abe's and crossed his arms protectively over his chest. Another argument occurred to him and he turned back to Abe triumphantly.

"I don't have any shoes," he said. He was sure Abe didn't have an immediate solution for that problem. A small voice in the back of his mind said, When he leaves to buy you shoes, you can sneak out. Poke around first and see if you can find any money to buy more drugs.

Ty's stomach suddenly convulsed. The thought of stealing from Abe brought an immediate and violent physical reaction. He jumped out of bed and dashed to the bathroom, barely making it to the toilet before the lovely breakfast he'd just eaten came surging back out of his throat.

A worried Abe followed him into the bathroom and put a comforting hand on his shoulder as he heaved.

"I'm sorry, Ty. I shouldn't have made such a heavy breakfast."

Ty sat back on his heels, sweating and trembling slightly. Abe handed him a damp washcloth, which he used to wipe his face.

"I'm a horrible, horrible person," he mumbled.

"What? No, Ty! Why would you say such a thing?"

Ty briefly considered telling Abe the thoughts that had gone through his head, but he wasn't brave enough to admit to the whole truth. Instead he said, "I'm fucked up, Abe. I really, really want more drugs and I know I shouldn't do them. I just ... I can't help the way I feel. I want them!"

Abe patted Ty's shoulder sympathetically. "We'll get you some help, Ty. Those cravings will eventually go away, or at least diminish to a manageable level. I know right now it's really hard."

This comment made Ty feel even guiltier. Abe was so good to him, and he was terrified that he was going to screw Abe over.

When he decided he was done being sick, Abe helped him back to bed and brought him a glass of apple juice.

"Drink this slowly. If you can keep it down, we'll move on to more solid food, but I think we'll have to stick with bland stuff for a little while."

After he had settled, Abe went to his closet and brought out a box labeled "Evan," setting it on the foot of the bed.

Ty's curiosity was piqued.

"I think there's a pair of tennis shoes in here that may fit you," Abe said, starting to rummage in the box. "I don't know why I didn't give you these things when you stayed with me earlier. They certainly don't fit me, but they may fit you. You can have whatever you want."

"Who's Evan?" Ty asked and then was immediately sorry as he saw Abe's large dark eyes fill with sorrow.

"You don't need to answer that. Sorry," Ty said guiltily.

"It's okay." Abe swallowed and his eyes lost focus as he continued. "He was my boyfriend. He died about a year and a half ago from leukemia."

"Oh, Abe, I'm sorry!"

"It's okay. Well—it's not really, but there's nothing I can do about it. I'm getting better." Abe sighed heavily and Ty's heart twisted in sympathy. This explained why Abe sometimes looked so sad.

"You don't need to give me any of Evan's stuff," Ty said softly.

"But I want to. It's time I got rid of this box that's been taking up room in the corner of my closet."

"Is Evan the man in the picture? The one you have hiding in your sock drawer?" Ty asked gently.

Abe snapped his head around, looking at Ty in surprise.

"I'm sorry. The first day I was here, when you locked me in your room, I snooped. I know I shouldn't have, and normally I never would have, but I was mad and scared and...."

"It's okay, Ty." Abe smiled reassuringly. Going to his dresser, he pulled out the picture of himself and Evan. He stood gazing at it and blinking back tears.

Ty climbed out of bed to stand next to Abe, very close. He put his hand on Abe's arm and leaned in to look at the picture.

"You both look very happy."

"We were." Abe's voice was choked with emotion. Ty did not dare look at his face, but Abe moved the arm that Ty wasn't touching, reaching his hand up to his face. Ty assumed he was wiping away tears. His own chest felt tight. He hated when Abe was sad, but somehow this seemed therapeutic.

"You should leave the picture out." Ty's intuition told him that Abe was ready to move on to the next stage of grieving and having the picture out would help with that.

"Maybe I will," Abe said, making a place for the photo on his dresser. Ty looked up at him and their gaze locked. The adoration Ty saw in Abe's eyes caused his heart to flutter wildly, but it also brought a deluge of guilt.

He stepped back from Abe and looked at the floor in shame. I don't deserve his love. He wants to replace Evan with me, but I'm not nearly as good as Evan. I'm going to hurt him. I'm a loser.

Some of Ty's emotions must have shown on his face because Abe said, "Ty, you're going to be okay. You're going to get better."

At that comment, Ty realized that he had completely forgotten his cravings. They had been buried by the intense emotions of the past few minutes. As his thoughts returned to drugs, the craving returned, but it was muted—not nearly as strong as before. In the forefront of his mind was his worry for Abe along with his fear of hurting him.

Abe moved back to the bed and started pulling things out of the box.

Ty followed him, seeming to be morbidly curious.

The box was mostly filled with clothes, which Abe insisted he take.

Ty held a pair of jeans up to himself. "He must have been pretty small," he observed.

"Yes, you're taller than he was by a couple of inches. I guess the pants are not going to fit."

"No. But the shoes look like they might," Ty said, pulling a pair of black Converse out of the box. They looked almost new.

"Try them on." Abe smiled encouragingly.

Ty snagged a pair of socks out of the box as well, and sitting gingerly on the edge of the bed, he put on the socks and the shoes.

"Yes, they're fine. Maybe even a half-size too big."

"Great! You can have them."

"Are you sure? I mean...."

Abe cut him off. "Yes, I'm sure. I'm just going to give all this stuff to charity—whatever you don't want. If there are things here you can use, I'd really like you to have them."

Abe and Ty went through the rest of the box together, sorting the clothes into two piles, one for Ty to try on and possibly keep, and one of things that Ty didn't want or knew right off wouldn't fit. Underwear fell into that category. Ty needed more underwear, but he wasn't about to start wearing Abe's old boyfriend's briefs, even if they fit him. They looked pretty small anyway.

All of the socks and most of the shirts went into the "keep" pile. In the bottom of the box were some sketchbooks and a small wooden box. Abe took these out and set them on his dresser.

"I'll keep these," he said. He took a deep breath and turned back to the now empty box. After refilling it with the things Ty didn't want, he set it on the floor.

Ty looked at his face. Abe looked wistful, but not really sad. He glanced up at Ty and flashed a small smile.

"You feel okay? How's your stomach?"

"I'm fine."

"When you're ready, we can go down to the clinic. It's a walk-in place, so we don't need an appointment."

A cold dread washed over Ty at the idea of talking to some stranger about what had happened to him. Even more terrifying was the thought that he'd have to let someone touch him there. A tremor ran through him.

"Take your time, Ty." Abe looked sympathetic. "But the lines get longer later in the day, so we should go by three or so to make sure you can get in."

"Let's just get it over with," Ty said. He felt shaky, but didn't think waiting would help matters any. It would just give him time to stew.

"Finish your apple juice. After you eat a banana, we can go."

Ty nodded, resigned.

While Ty was eating his banana, Abe's phone rang.

Abe glanced at the caller id and walked out of the bedroom while he answered it.

Something about Abe's body language told Ty the call was about him. He automatically stopped chewing so he could listen to Abe's half of the conversation, feeling guilty for eavesdropping but unable to stop himself.

"Yeah, I did," Abe said. "Yes, he's here."

A cold wave a terror washed over Ty. Who the hell is he talking to? Who knows I'm here?

"Just a minute. I'll find out."

Abe appeared in the doorway and Ty tried to look engrossed in his banana.

"Ty, do you want to talk to Dani? I left a message for him earlier letting him know I found you."

Relief washed over Ty. Okay, Dani knows. But he didn't feel like talking to Dani. His experiences were too new, his emotions too raw. He was afraid he'd break down and start bawling. Ty shook his head.

Abe nodded and disappeared from view. Once again Ty strained to hear Abe's side of the conversation.

"No, he's not ready to talk to anyone yet."

Abe's voice lowered and Ty almost missed the next thing he said, "Yeah, it was really bad. Like really, really bad."

"He's doing okay, considering."

"Yes, I'll try to get him to call you later. Okay. Yes, I will."

Abe appeared in the doorway again.

"That was Dani. He wants you to call him when you're ready."

Ty nodded silently. He didn't want to talk to anyone yet. It was bad enough that Abe knew what a loser he was, he didn't want Dani to know too.

"You ready to go?" Abe asked.

"Let me change my shirt."

Abe nodded and disappeared again into the main room.

The T-shirt Ty was wearing was one of Abe's and it hung off his thin frame nearly down to his knees. He perused the small pile of shirts that had belonged to Evan and selected a long-sleeved T in blue-green. He wanted to make sure his needle tracks were covered.

The shirt pulled a little across his shoulders, and the sleeves were an inch short, but many of his own shirts fit him the same way. He would wear Abe's sweats. He wasn't sure where his jeans were, but suspected Abe was washing them. He only owned one pair of jeans and the black leather pants, but he didn't want to wear the black leather pants ever again. They held too many memories of a very dark time in his life. Besides, they were so filthy he wasn't sure they'd ever come clean.

****

The clinic visit was in some ways not as bad as and in some ways worse than Ty had imagined.

The doctor turned out to be a kindly woman in her mid-forties. She was professional and thorough, but very gentle. The physical exam was a little painful and Ty blushed furiously the entire time, but it was over very quickly. The doctor said that Ty would be sore for a few days, but no serious damage had been done.

The most difficult part of the clinic visit had come at the beginning. When he first got there, they had him fill out a bunch of forms, which asked prying questions about his sexual habits, how much alcohol he consumed, what drugs he took and how often, and so on. Ty was tempted to lie, but didn't. It felt very strange admitting on paper that he had been on a heroin binge. His lack of sexual experience, except for the rape, would also be apparent from his answers.

And there was a place for him to identify his sexual orientation as straight, gay, bi, lesbian or transsexual. "Unknown" was not a choice, so he left that question blank and prayed they wouldn't ask him. He reflected that not too long ago he would have put down "straight" without giving it a second thought. This elicited a small panic attack. He quickly moved on to the medical history section of the form while taking slow, deep breaths.

Luckily, the receptionist didn't even glance at the paperwork when he turned it in. She just shifted it into a folder and gave him a brief smile. Maybe that's it, he hoped. Maybe they won't ask me any questions about my answers.

But at the end of his visit, after he had been allowed to put his clothes back on, the kindly doctor had said, "Ty, it looks like you qualify for one of our programs. Your visit today will be free if you're willing to participate."

Free? Ty liked the sound of that. He didn't want Abe to have to pay for him. "What do I have to do?" he asked guardedly.

"You'll need to come in for a minimum of three counseling sessions with our drug and alcohol counselor," she replied. Her voice held no hint of judgment. "There's no charge for any of the counseling sessions either, of course, and any of your medical needs will be taken care of for free as long as you're under counseling."

Ty did not want to come in and talk to anyone about his substance abuse issues, but when he thought about how much he owed Abe, he knew that he would. He didn't want to be in more debt, and the counseling was something he knew would meet with Abe's enthusiastic approval.

"Sign me up," he said quietly, and the doctor graced him with a warm smile.

"I also recommend you get tested in a few weeks for STDs and blood-borne illnesses. You said he used a condom, and that you never shared needles, so there's almost no chance you've been infected."

"Can't you test for them today?"

"It takes a couple of weeks for most diseases to be detectable in your system. HIV antibodies sometimes take up to a year to present."

"A year?" Ty echoed in dismay. He wanted to know right away if he was infected.

The doctor's eyes were all empathy as she handed him a flyer on STDs. Ty glanced at it and quickly folded it to hide in his back pocket.

There were a couple of other aspects of the clinic visit that Ty had not considered beforehand, but which had disturbed him.

First, the minute they had left the safety of Abe's apartment building, Ty had been seized with a quiet terror. Logically he knew that someone was not going to jump out of the shadows and attack him on the street in broad daylight, but he could not keep his heart from going a thousand miles a minute and his palms from sweating. He tried to take measured breaths as he inched closer to Abe, his eyes darting around frantically.

Abe had sensed his unease and walked very close to him, his great arm brushing against Ty's shoulder. He brought up a problem he was having with his computer, which Ty was sure he did to distract him. It worked though, and by the time they reached the clinic, which really was just around the corner, Ty had calmed down.

The other aspect of the visit that Ty hadn't anticipated, were the vicious glares Abe received from almost everyone at the clinic. No one said anything to him outright, but it was clear that most of the staff at the clinic thought Ty's battered face and the reason for his checkup were due to the large black man.

The kindly doctor had even said something to Ty at the end of their appointment.

"You can talk to the counselor about domestic abuse too," she said quietly. "You don't have to live with that. No one deserves to go through that."

Ty had looked at her in shock. Domestic abuse? How does she know about my father? He had even burst out with, "How do you...?" before he realized she was talking about Abe. He was horrified.

"Oh, no! It's not what you think! Abe's my friend. It wasn't him."

She had smiled gently and patted his hand. He could tell she didn't believe him.

To his credit, Abe had stoically ignored all the glares.

****