Rules of Marriage Ch. 02

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What he expects from her.
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Part 2 of the 4 part series

Updated 11/01/2022
Created 11/24/2005
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thecelt
thecelt
2,495 Followers

I checked out of the hotel less than 20 minutes after Sam left. I put on the jeans and sweater that I traveled from Atlanta in and threw everything else in my overnight. I called the desk and told them I was checking out and the key was on the desk. They could send me the final bill.

I got my car from the garage and left Savanna in a rush. I hit Interstate 16 and locked the car on cruise control. I needed to think! I needed to have my story straight when I got home to face Sam. I didn't know how he had found me out but I needed to decide what he knew and how much I could tell him. I wanted only to find a way to save our marriage. I had done the damage and I didn't know what I could do but I had to try. The truth would have been more effective if I had told him three weeks ago. Then it was a one-time thing and he would probably understand. We could find a way past that. This however was a planned betrayal that went terribly wrong. That I couldn't explain away.

Maybe he had come there just to surprise me and spend the night with me to make the trip more pleasant. Maybe he had looked for me and saw me with Rudy in the restaurant and put two and two together. Maybe he followed me to the room and then waited for a few minutes to see if Rudy came back out. That would explain the flowers. He had probably picked them up as a surprise for me. I began to relax a little thinking I could explain this as a one time thing. "I'm sorry Sam. We had dinner, some wine, I was too relaxed and things got out of hand". He could buy that, if he didn't know about the first time. Should I take the chance? I thought this over for the next hour. Then I remembered! He had known Rudy's name! That meant he already knew about him, and I had to admit to the first time. That would be the best way to convince him that I was telling the truth. That seemed like my best bet.

By the time I hit the outskirts of Atlanta, I had decided to be totally honest and tell Sam everything, including the first time three weeks ago. I had no choice since I didn't know what he knew or how he knew it. Sam was not as dumb as people thought when they first met him. He was smart, witty and a good man at heart. I was going to trust to his goodness and pray.

I walked into our home with my heart in my throat, only to find the place empty. Sam was not there and I guessed that the kids were with my parents. Sam must have left them there when he came to Savanna. I went into our bedroom and looked around. Everything was as it should be so I knew he hadn't left me. I breathed a small sigh of relief. I changed into my PJs, fixed a cup of coffee and sat down in the family room and waited.

Sam walked in about an hour later. He just stood there and looked at me. As he did, I could feel my face turn red and my breathing become shallow. I remembered what this man did for a living and suddenly realized just how much danger I had exposed Rudy to. I remembered the look on Sam's face in the hotel room and finally understood the control he had exercised not to kill Rudy. He had him down and vulnerable and just slapped him. He could just as easily have ended Rudy's life right then and there. I never considered that he would hurt me: that wasn't Sam.

When Sam didn't say anything, I couldn't stand it any more. I began to cry. I hadn't cried this whole night. Not on the way home, not after I had arrived at home and not while I waited for Sam. I broke down and cried. I was sobbing so hard I could hardly catch my breath. During it all, Sam had gone into the kitchen for a cup of coffee. When I recovered enough to look at him, he was sitting in his favorite chair with a cup in his hands. He was just watching me.

He waited until I stopped and finally said, "Well, do you feel better now?" He wasn't smiling nor was he sincere. He was simply cold. "I hope you feel better because I don't." Again, he simply watched me, waiting for me to explain myself. Waiting for something that he could accept that would make what I had done understandable. I had nothing to give him.

"I don't know what to say or where to start. I know saying I'm sorry is a poor beginning, but I am. I'm sorry for what I did and I'm sorry you had to find out. I wish I had never done it, but it's too late for that. I know you won't believe this, but it really had nothing to do with you and I. It was simply about me. What I wanted and what I did. You and the kids never entered into it. That part was dishonest, dirty and base. You and the kids don't deserve to ever see that part of me. I'm sorry you did." He still didn't speak.

"The first time with Rudy was three weeks ago when we went to Savanna. I had too much to drink and Rudy helped me back to the hotel. I had drunk too much wine and it made me behave like a fool. I wanted him to make love to me and I encouraged him. He simply took what I offered. He stayed the night and left the next morning. I had planned to spend the night with him this time but it was to be the last time. I thought that since you didn't know about it, you wouldn't be hurt and I could do it one more time before never seeing him again." By this time, I was exhausted and I just told the story as it happened. No emotion, no feeling and no guilt. It happened and it was over. It was no longer important. What Sam chose to do was all that I cared about.

Sam just sat there watching me. I looked at him but couldn't hold his eyes. I hung my head and waited. He would determine where my life would go from here on.

"I knew about the first time two weeks after you came back. I won't tell you how I knew but I did. I knew his name, who he was, and what he did. He has quite a reputation if you didn't know. He is married and has three children. They are all younger than Jennie. He makes it a point to seduce women for his collection. You were just one of the cheap thrills he scored." His look was one of scorn and derision. I realized what a fool I had been and understood now that I was just a piece of married ass to Rudy. "I don't suppose you even cared about his wife and his children? You certainly didn't care about me and ours."

"I didn't confront you at that time because I wanted to wait and see if I could live with your infidelity. I knew what you had done but I didn't confront you because I had to be sure in my own mind what I could live with. I had almost come to the decision that I could forget and forgive when you suddenly announced your trip to Savanna. I almost lost it when you said that. If you remember, I asked you some questions that suggested I wanted you to not go, but you had answers for all of them. You had decided to betray me and you were going to do it regardless. You had already convinced yourself that I couldn't know about your cheating."

"Sunday night when I talked about our family and our marriage and told you that I would never do anything to jeopardize it, do you remember what you said to me? You said 'Of course you could do nothing that would hurt the kids or me, and neither would I.' You said, neither would I. But, you did, didn't you? You fucked away our happy family. You gave it all up for a stupid shit that just wanted a piece of ass. You were so ready to suck his cock and fuck him and for what? For what!"

Sam was struggling to stay in control. I had seen him angry before but never like this. I have to admit I was frightened of this side of him. A gentle, peaceful man that was a teddy bear with his children and always gentle with me. This was what I had created: an angry, ticking bomb ready to explode.

"I am not going to make any decisions now. I am angry and I know better than to decide anything when I am like this. For the next few days, I ask that you leave me alone and stay out of my way. I think you should call your parents and ask them to take care of the kids for a couple more days. I don't want them around at this time." He paused for a minute and then said, "Maybe you should stay at your parent's place as well?"

"I will not hide out with my parents. I want to face this and have it out as soon as you are ready. I did this and I will face whatever is to come. But, I will not leave my home. And before you say anything, this is still my home, at least for now." I was not going to leave my home or my children. He and I could part but not without a fight.

"Fine. I'll sleep in the spare bedroom or stay at the base. I don't want to sleep in the same bed with you because I don't share my wife! You already made plans for tonight that didn't include me. You can sleep with your memory of him. I'm sorry I ruined your night of fun and fucking." Sam looked at me with a look of anger that scared me. I had never seen that look in his eyes before.

The next week passed with both of us avoiding the other and treading carefully so as not to create tension. I was hopeful since Sam had not left me or made any suggestions that he or I leave. Sam did spend a lot of evenings out of the house and when he came home, he usually went straight to bed. I didn't know what he was doing and I was afraid to ask. Things stayed this way until that Friday, when Sam suggested that we get the children and bring them home. I agreed quickly and went to pick them up. I didn't discuss anything with my parents, as I didn't want them involved. I hoped that having the children at home would make things less tense.

Sam asked me to come into the family room that Saturday evening after we had put the kids to bed. He said that we needed to talk and that he felt he was able to do so calmly and rationally. I could only hope. I did realize that we needed to do this.

"I have come to some conclusions and made some decisions. Some I can tell you about now and some need to wait for a while to see how things go. If you agree, I think we should take some time together to be alone. We need to do that to see if I can still make love to you as my wife. I can get a cabin at the lake for a few days if that's OK."

"That's wonderful news. Yes, I agree that we need some time alone and I want you back in my bed where you belong. I am your wife and nothing has happened to change that. I know you see it differently, but I am still here. I love you and have never stopped loving you." I was suddenly hopeful that we could get past this and get our life back. Inwardly, I smiled for the first time in a long time,

"We'll see. We can leave Sunday night and stay a couple of days. I have time off, if you can take time as well? I don't want to wait."

"I don't care what they say, I'll take the time anyway. I'll call in tonight and leave word that I have an emergency and will be out for a week. We can leave anytime."

We made arrangements with my mom to take the kids and she agreed, suspecting that we had problems that needed time to work out. The kids were cool since they loved staying with the grandparents. They spoiled them rotten! We packed some things and left just after dinner on Sunday. We were at the cabin in just over an hour and were able to catch some time in the sun before it set. It had started as a pleasant outing and I hoped it would continue that way.

"Let's go in and do some talking. We need to start sometime and I suppose this is as good a time as any. Are you OK with that?" Sam seemed to be in an agreeable mood as he suggested this.

"It's fine with me. I'm not looking forward to this, but I know it has to be done. I can only tell you what I know and feel. I hope you can hear the truth and still be calm."

"I promise to stay calm and controlled. If I didn't think I could do that, I wouldn't have come and I wouldn't have suggested this."

We took the stuff in, hung up our clothes and got everything ready in the cabin. We both got settled, a beer for Sam and a coffee for me. I sat on the couch and Sam sat on the floor in front of the now dark fireplace. He started.

"The first thing I want to know is why? Why did you feel it was OK to cheat on our children and me? I remember the vows we took when we were married and I don't remember any that said 'forsaking all others most of the time'." Sam looked at me calmly.

"I can't tell you why. I think it started because I thought he was very good-looking and very charismatic and then I had too much to drink and things just got out of hand. I also believe that he was making sure that things went the way they did. I wasn't sober enough to stop it." I wasn't sure that this was really why but it was the only answer I had.

"So, your answer is that you were drunk and he took advantage?"

"No, that's not what I meant. I mean he made sure that I needed his help to my room so that he was there and my inhibitions were down and, you know."

"No, I don't know. I have been drunk many times and I don't remember a single time I took another woman to bed with me. I still don't know why you did." He was still very calm just as he promised.

"Sam, I just don't know what happened. I didn't mean for it to happen and I don't know why I did it. I certainly didn't plan for it to happen. I still think he took advantage of me." I was rattled and had no sure answer. This was not going well.

"I'm sorry, but I remember you spending the entire night with that guy and I can't believe you were drunk the whole time. I also believe that you were either fucking him or about to fuck him the second time before I interrupted you. I also believe you drove 250 miles just to be with him and to have one more time, as I believe you put it. How does that square with your explanation?" Sam now had a small frown on his face.

"I can't answer you. I just don't know why. I remember thinking that it was fun, probably because it was wrong and that you would never find out so it's like it never happened. I would come home and never see him again and you would never know and we would be OK again!" I was now in full panic mode. I was losing this fight to save my marriage.

"Since it was OK because I didn't know about it, was this the first time you cheated on me?" That one caught me by surprise, but I should have been expecting it. Unfortunately, my hesitation was all he needed.

"Well, that certainly answers that question. Makes me wonder if the girls are even mine." I couldn't let him think that! It wasn't true and I knew that without doubt!

"Sam, think what you want about me, but Melissa and Jennie are yours. I would never do something like that. Anyway, you make it sound like I am a cheat and a slut."

"That's exactly what you are, but let's forget that for the time being. It's clear that you are confused. Let me ask you another question if it's OK. Did you ever think of our two girls or of me when he was fucking you? Did you remember our wedding vows as you sucked his cock? When you yelled his name during an orgasm, did you ever once think of our life together? How about the others? Was it the same with them?" He still appeared calm outside, but his questions were pure anger and hatred. I didn't even try to answer. I just hung my head and began to quietly sob.

"Why don't you just tell me in your own words why you did what you did?" Sam watched me sob with no expression on his face. If I expected any sympathy from him, it was not going to happen.

"All I can tell you is that I was impressed with him when I first met him. During the time we spent in the meeting, he was smart, self-assured and treated me as an equal. He complimented me on my business knowledge and he treated me with dignity. He was very good looking and his voice was mesmerizing. I guess the whole package was very tempting. That was not the problem. We went to dinner and we started drinking wine. I now remember that my glass was always full and Rudy seemed to be filling it every time I looked. He sat beside me and touched me all during the evening. I got used to his touch and didn't think much about it if it got a little personal."

"As the evening went on, we had more wine and I began to focus more and more on Rudy to the exclusion of every body else. When I noticed that we were the last two there, I was pretty wasted. We had finished three bottles of wine, the last one just between the two of us. I don't remember Rudy drinking at all. I had to take a cab to get back to the hotel so Rudy volunteered to call the cab and to see me back to the hotel. He said that I needed his help and I agreed."

"Once we were in the hotel, he went to my room with me and helped me to the bed. I was dizzy and very sick and he got a wet washcloth and held it against my forehead. I remember it felt so good and I held his hand, the one with the washcloth. After that, we began to touch and he ended up with his mouth between my legs. After that, it was pure lust. I really don't want to go into specifics, just that we had sex several times. I remember it feeling wonderful. Trite but true: it was just pure, raw sex. We fucked, we didn't make love."

I looked at Sam setting there and knew this had to hurt him. It hurt me to tell him about it and I was almost sick to my stomach as I recounted that evening. I was being honest about my feelings and how it came about. The hard part was now coming; why I chose to do it again.

"This is the hard part. I left vowing that I would never cheat on you again. I got home and guilt plagued me for the first week. I think now that I was waiting for you to see in my eyes what I had done. When you didn't, I thought that everything was going to be OK and that we were fine. Nothing was going to happen. Since everything was OK, I began to remember the pleasure that I experienced and wondered if I could do it again without you knowing anything. I thought, just once more and then never again."

"I didn't pick up on the questions you were asking me about going to Savanna and I didn't connect your behavior the week before. I guess I believed your story about the base closing and you worrying about your classes. I was so wrapped up in my betrayal that I ignored all of the signs that said you knew." I had pretty much run out of steam but I think I had covered it all.

"That's it. That's what happened and that's why I did what I did or at least that's what I think. There were no 'others', there was just one other time and it was much like this time with Rudy except that I didn't sleep with him and we only did it once in an empty conference room. I was also drinking at the time and it was just after I had started back to work after Melissa was born. I felt like a dowdy mother and this guy flattered me." I was done. I was exhausted and I was frightened.

"Well, that's quite a story. I guess it's as accurate as you can be. I do believe your version of how it happened and it is as painful to hear as I expected it to be. But it's out now and we have to face it." Amazingly, Sam was not angry or sad or anything. He was simply stating the facts and he let it go at that. He got up, asked me if I wanted another coffee and went to get a second beer.

Sam came back into the room, but this time he came to the couch where I was sitting and sat beside me. He put his arm around me and pulled me to his chest. I went willingly and just enjoyed the scent of him and feel of his strong arms and his hard chest. I began to relax when I felt his hand move to my side and then to my breast. I didn't move, and I hardly dared breathe. He hadn't touched me since the Sunday before I went to Savanna the second time. Sam cupped my breast and began to touch and kneed it through my sweater. I tentatively let my hand drop to his thigh and began to rub softly. He made no effort to stop me so I moved my hand to his groin and felt his erection. I was so happy that a sob escaped me and I squeezed him in joy.

"Please make love to me Sam. I want you so much and I need to show you how much I love you. Please, Sam." I wanted this chance to show my love and to make him forget how much I had hurt him. This was all I knew to do to make up for what I had done.

thecelt
thecelt
2,495 Followers
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