Sandra Cross's Xmas Toy Workshop

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"Hmm, print media cost too much money in relation to other ways of advertising and in relation to the bang for the buck. Direct marketing would be a waste of money to hype your type of product. You need a catchy name or a sexy slogan. You need something that will identify you and your toys and maybe even get you some free press."

"You mean like Pussy Galore in James bond. Use my toys to make you feel more like a whore," she said with a laugh.

"Well, maybe not so explicitly graphic and sexually revolting but, perhaps, a play on words would do and serve your business well."

"I know, how about this? These are the toys that June Cleaver, Beaver's mother, would have used to pleasure her beaver, if she was still alive today," she said with a laugh.

"You know, Sandra, you may be on to something," said Julie laughing, too. "We can use dead celebrities to endorse our products. What about this? To finger her hole, this was Anna Nicole's personal choice in dildos."

"I think it's in poor taste to use Anna Nicole, since she was murdered and her boyfriend was just arrested and charged with her murder. How about this instead, when needing to please herself, this was Donna Reed's release or this was Lucille Ball's balling machine," said Sandra laughing.

"Or how about this was Marilyn Monroe's masturbator or Mae West's best vibrator," said Julie laughing even more. "There are literally dozens of famous names we can use," said Julie.

"I like the angle, but is that legal to use the names of dead celebrities?" Sandra laughed with her friend, while thinking about all the dead celebrities she could use to advertise her product. "Can we do that?"

"Legal? Probably not, but it's legal, that is, until we're sued and lose in a court of law, but by then, you'd have garnered so much free advertising and would have made so much money that it wouldn't matter, if it was legal or not. You'd be rich enough to settle out of court," she said with a laugh. "Only," said Julie with the shrewd look of a lawyer. "I have a way to get around the legality issues."

"You do? How?"

"International trade. We sell our product using our new celebrity advertising campaign overseas."

"Overseas? Clever but most foreigners aren't going to know who June Cleaver, Anna Nicole, Donna Reed, Lucille Ball, Marilyn Monroe, and Mae West are," said Sandra.

"Don't kid yourself. Celebrities are known the world over. For sure, they'll know them in Japan, the United Kingdom, Canada, and Australia, just to name a few," she said with a laugh. "Elvis, Michael, The Beatles, John Wayne, and Marilyn Monroe are still big in Japan. They follow our celebrities, as close as we Americans do. And all those Englishmen are a bit perverted, not as perverted as the Australians, but the English have the sense of humor and fun to get the connection," she said with a laugh.

Julie, with blonde hair and blue eyes instead of Sandra's chestnut brown hair and brown eyes, was as good looking and voluptuous as Sandra. Even if the judge was female, especially if the judge was female, for sure, because these two vixens were so sexually hot and sensually persuasive, if you put these two alone in the judge's chambers with the judge, after supplying the judge with a collection of free Sandra Cross toys, whatever case against them would serendipitously be thrown out of court on a technicality.

"I like the idea," said Sandra. "I can custom make toys for certain celebrities. It would be fun for women to have their own inside jokes. I had sex with Janis Joplin and she made me sing, or I had sex with Judy Garland and she made me scream an octave higher, or I got my grove on with Karen Carpenter. We could have them in colors and customize the toy that will remind the user of the celebrity."

"What about making toys that resemble guys," said Julie. "I had sex with Elvis, Jack Kennedy, Paul Newman, or Albert Einstein. The possibilities are endless. Where we get in immediate trouble is using people that are still alive. Most dead people don't have anything in place, other than relatives to go after us. Other than cease and desist orders to force us to stop production, which, of course, we must obey, by the time these people get around to suing us in World Court, we'll make millions."

"I really like the idea. Then, once we are known for our toys, we can drop the celebrity line."

"Drop it? Honey, I think once you go down the dark road of making dead celebrity masturbation toys, this could be your biggest hit and your claim for fame and fortune. If Larry Flint of Hustler magazine fame can sue and win his case to use celebrities in print, we can use celebrities in the manufacture of our vibrators and dildos. By the time our case is heard in court, whether we win or lose, in the meantime, we'll make a fortune."

With the use of her celebrity masturbation toy line, Sandra Cross was famous for her toys the world over. After making tens of millions of dollars and with the lawsuits piling up, she declared bankruptcy and is rumored to have started another business, Sandra Cross's pastries, endorsed, of course, by dead celebrities. Each little sugary confection is made in the image of the deceased celebrity with customers pretending they just ate a dead celebrity.

"I just ate Lady Di."

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8 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago

Very clever.

AnonymousAnonymousover 13 years ago
horrible

a little funny but barely.

Why would you something like this? it's so stupid! i mean seriously why did you write it anyway?????

TruckerguyTruckerguyover 13 years ago
Funny

As with most of your stories I liked it... Keep 'em

cuming...

Bill

AnonymousAnonymousover 13 years ago
Really Funny

A good laugh, and Julie is my kind of lawyer.

2275jr2275jrover 13 years ago
mastubation toy to satisfiy all

love your stories. both good for a laugh and to get that bit extra life.

you neve fail to get your most excellent story to say jusy what on your mind susan your awsome.

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