Sarah's Quest Ch. 01

My name is Sarah. I'm married with two kids and am 37 years old. You'll notice I did not say "happily married" because that wouldn't be accurate although I'm not unhappily married. Like so many women my age, we are just treading water and a bit bored with life. At this point there must be a little more to life than raising kids and seeing my husband ignore me. Oh, don't get me wrong. He does his fatherly duties by taking our kids to their games or attending school functions. He pays the bills and occasionally takes me to dinner but I wouldn't say he wines and dines me. I get the customary flowers on our anniversary when he remembers. As for sex, he's a prude. Sex with him isn't exciting. It's the same old routine we've done over and over again for years. He kisses my nipples for a few minutes, touches my clit and shoves a finger or two in my pussy. If he feels I'm wet enough, in he goes for a dozen strokes and then it's over ... mostly in the missionary position. He never suggests trying something new but when I try to be creative, he says, "Sarah, I don't need a whore in bed, just a loving wife."

There is little value to go on about my husband who is married to his work or the many business trips that keeps him away but it is easy to see that I'm not a high priority in his life. I'm not looking for sympathy here but just an understanding of my situation. I want more out of life and I'm primarily wanting to find out who I am, especially my sexuality. Have I missed out on the those intense intimate experiences that shape a woman's self worth providing the satisfaction she craves?

What follows is a long journey with a few detours to discover the inner woman that was hidden between being a good wife and motherhood. Questions about my sexuality lingered since the birth of our second child. The answer turned out to be rather simple. First, I had to experience sex within a variety of sexual preferences. I had to move out of my comfort zone. Perhaps an affair with the attractive neighbor would satisfy my yearning but an affair is just an affair. I could just be fucking a man for the sake of having a different partner who might not provide much more than my husband. There had to be something more to learning about my sexual self than having casual sex with a neighbor or even with strangers. I had to learn what else was out there.

Let's back up for a moment and look at my past experiences. I started having my period around 15. This was a lot later than most of the girls so in a sense, I was a late bloomer. During high school I dated a few different boys but none were serious. By the age of 18, I was experiencing raging hormones. Our family doctor suggested I take birth control pills to help tame the hormonal imbalance. They worked. After high school graduation, I had a serious boyfriend and I became sexually active. The first time was in June, actually June 25th. A girl remembers a thing like that so I remember it really well. My boyfriend was over to the house when my parents were out to dinner and a movie. We were on the couch watching a video and of course, we were making out big time. He started playing with my boobs but that wasn't really new. He had fondled me almost from the start. He had my bra off and started sucking on my fully ripe tits. Now we were breaking new ground, as the saying goes. I loved it! This turned me on more than ever before. My natural reaction was to reach down and touch the bulge in his pants and that is exactly what happened. I felt the hardness between his legs but I didn't stop there. I think it gave my boyfriend the idea I was wanting more when unzipping his jeans and putting my hand inside the zipper. He said something like, take it out and suck it.

The boy (his name was Tommy) took off my blouse so I was naked from the waist up and I felt the excitement of showing off my body to a boy. My hand caressed his pulsing meat and there was something wet oozing out of the top. Feeling a guy's organ was like holding a warm thick sausage and it was thrilling. My heart was pounding and my head was filled with lust. He pushed my head down to his erection that stood like a soldier at attention. "Go down on it," he pleaded. "Just put it in your mouth." Sucking on a penis was what the girls called a blow job so it seemed that was what a girl was supposed to do. I finally got the nerve up to touch it with my lips and tongue, then put him in my mouth. When I did that, he held my head showing me how to bob up and down fucking his dick with my mouth. I could taste his ooze or precum and was surprised at the salty flavor. Tommy kept pushing my head down so I could take him deep into my throat but I could do nothing more than gag. Other than that I got into the rhythm giving him a nice blow job, my first.

I stopped to give him a kiss and that is when he removed my skirt and panties. Of course, even a virgin like me knew what would come next. I sat naked on the couch as the movie was coming to an end and my boyfriend stripped off his jeans and shorts. We were both nude. He spread my legs apart and did something unexpected. I just thought he was going to put his penis in my vagina but no, he put his head down there and started licking my private parts. I felt tingles that I'd never experienced before. I kept saying, "Oh that is so nice. Don't stop, don't stop."

This was so new and my orgasm was a feeling so powerful that I wanted it never to stop. He sensed my passion and moved to place his cock head at the entrance of my pussy. With his hard shaft, he rubbed my pussy lips before pushing it in. Slowly he started to enter me and at first I felt a jolt of pain. I looked down and could see he was only partly inside so I wondered if there would be more pain when he went all the way in. There was no doubt that my pussy was wet enough to accommodate the full length of his manhood but would it hurt? Little by little he pressed on until his cock disappeared between my legs. There was no pain and in fact, feeling my love canal being filled with his hardness was wonderful. I never could have imagined such fulfillment. At that he began working himself in and out slowly, faster, faster faster, sliding easily back and forth. I could feel the warmth of another orgasm coming on and wondered how long it took for a man to cum. I didn't know if it was OK if I came before him or should wait. I didn't need to wait long as he quickly emptied himself deep inside my cunt. His spasms pushed me over the hill and onto a wonderful climax. Tommy was exhausted and I felt as I had never felt before.

Later that evening when my parents arrived home, my mom asked if we were eating in the living room. I said, "No! Why?" Of course, it wasn't the kind of eating my mom was referring to.

"Well there is a food stain on the couch," she said. But I knew it wasn't a food stain. It was a cum stain and maybe a spot of my virgin blood.

Some girls' first sexual experience are somewhere between terrible and OK. Mine was a ten. Having been on birth control pills, I was good to go again and we did it again and again that summer before leaving for college. It helped when the girls got together to talk about sex and sometimes we watched a porn video. I learned a lot from the girls and the videos. I felt more confident and enjoyed having sex more each time. I was so happy that summer. I no longer was a girl. I was a woman!

College sex was recreational sex. It was all about hooking up for a one night stand or maybe a month long fling but nothing really developed into a romantic relationship. Most of the guys just wanted to get their rocks off in a girl. Us girls were trying to prove our seductiveness and develop a certain sexual self-esteem. Good sex requires confidence on the part of both partners and we were getting more confident each day. None of the girls I knew in college left as a virgin and most with a very strong set of skills to please men. No one got pregnant because the college health services department was very accommodating. One of my friends began acting in porn videos and asked if I wanted to join. She claimed she was doing it for tuition money. I said "No, I don't need the money." I think one of the frat guys got her into it and we saw him fucking her in one of the vids. Anyway, it was fun to watch people we knew on screen.

I met my husband, Ted, in a singles bar after college. We hooked up for a one night stand. He didn't call back the next day or even for over a month. Ted said he had been out of town but, come on, he could have called. He eventually got in touch and wanted to go out for dinner (read "sex") so we met again. We had an affair for about six months and it seemed time for him to propose. He didn't. I moved in with him a month later and expected the ring. It didn't appear. Finally, I said, "Ted, I'm tired of being your friend with benefits. Either we get married or I'm out of here." We married and by the time I was thirty, we had two lovely kids. One is a ten year old girl and our boy is eight. I love them dearly.

As I said, now I'm 37 and need more in my life. My first step was to see what was happening outside of raising kids and baking cookies. At the grocery store I picked up a copy of Cosmopolitan. That's a magazine that includes articles like, "20 Sexual Positions That Are Sure To Please Him." The ideas were stimulating but Ted wasn't going along with it. The Internet has a marvelous site called Literotica.com. I spent a lot of time exploring their many forums. I was like a kid in a candy shop. I could explore what people were saying in their personal lives and tons of ideas about sex. Women like me were posting on the forums and I was surprised to find out I wasn't alone. Many women my age are trying to find out about their sexuality or rediscover it in a variety of ways. After a week of browsing, I decided to take a dozen nude pictures of myself and post them on the "Amateur Pic Feedback" forum. None of them were overly explicit but more on the artsy side. I wanted to see if people thought I was sexy. Wow! What a great site. The response was fantastic and gave me lots of confidence.

One guy wrote that I was his fantasy fuck. Another said I looked like Salma Hayek. Someone wrote that I was his sex kitten and he loved my tits. Everyone was so kind. I got PM's asking me where I lived so we could hook up. Others wanted to do online chats. The chats were mostly guys getting themselves off after a few sexual exchanges. It reminded me of college. A gentleman by the name of "Hardman" wanted to Skype and have cyber sex. What was that all about? Well, it's like virtual sex where each person can visually see each other pleasuring themselves. I agreed but it took me a couple of days to figure out how it worked. Finally we set a time when Ted was taking the kids to the movies and I had some privacy. It was a little awkward at first but once I got the hang of it, I was ready to play. He told me what he wanted and I acted shy. He took off his t-shirt and asked me what I thought about his abs. I said, "Sexy," although he was a bit overweight.

He asked me to take off my blouse and bra. I took my time about it. So here we were undressing and pretending to be having sex. Like most men, he was proud of his cock so he showed me his erection and began masturbating. It might have been the camera angle or the lighting but he seemed kind of small. He asked me to play with my tits, then play with my pussy. The point is, I was looking for something different and this was different so I went along with the masturbation play. We watched each other in the split screen as he wanked off and I massaged my clit and fingered my pussy. Hardman asked me if I had a dildo. I got it out of the bedside table and gave him a show, first licking and sucking my toy then slowly letting it enter my vagina. I got the idea from a porn movie I'd seen on the Internet. This did the trick and soon he blasted his cum onto the camera. You don't have to have a big cock to have and enormous ejaculation! I didn't have an orgasm but was dripping wet when we went off line. I grabbed my dildo and finished the job in the privacy of my own bedroom.

(Part Two of Sarah's Quest ... soon)