Saving Savannah Ch. 04

Now that hit a nerve, "You don't know what you're talking about!"

"Don't I?" Dan asked, finally getting closer to Marti without her moving backwards, even as he obviously became increasingly angry, "You're going to take everything from this girl, then you're going to break her heart and leave her with nothing. It's just who you are. You're afraid of commitment, just like me. That's why I knew, I knew deep down you wouldn't be able to commit to us, even though you know in your heart it's supposed to be you and me. But that's ok, because you're a stereotype, and sooner or later you'll wake up and realise you've done the whole experimenting in college thing and it's time to stop pretending to be a dyke, dump that bobble-headed whack job and leave her to slit her wrists while listening to something emo."

The sound of Marti slapping Dan echoed seemingly throughout the college, suddenly making them both feel like all eyes were on them. Of course no one had paid attention to them at first but as their argument became increasingly heated people slowly started paying attention, and the slap had the last few turning to look at them.

Briefly looking around Marti was grateful that she didn't recognise anyone so hopefully this wouldn't get back to the Hellcats or anyone she or more importantly Savannah knew. And if it did hopefully by then it would be just another unreliable rumour so it wouldn't matter too much.

Of course if any of this did get back to Savannah in any way Marti was going to take it out on Dan, something she was very tempted to do right now anyway. However once again she restrained herself. Partly because that would only make this argument worse and get more people's attention which would be extremely bad because man, what was she thinking agreeing to meet here? But also despite everything he said Dan was still her friend, and considering she came here more than half expecting a fight she couldn't really hold it against him for delivering, even if he now owed her an apology just as much as she had owed him one.

So speaking very slowly and as calmly as she could Marti said, "You're mad, and you have a right to be, and you've been a true friend to me for a very long time, so I'm going to do you a favour and forget every single word you just said. In fact we can pretend this meeting never happened, and you can disappear again for another week or so. Then we can try this again, and hopefully we can save our friendship because that has always meant a lot to me. But, FYI, for our next meeting... call me a dyke as much as you want, but leave Savannah out of it. Because if you say one bad thing about her that conversation will be over and you'll be lucky to get a third one. Now, I'm going to leave and you're going to let me while there's still a chance that we can forgive each other and get back to being friends. If you follow me we're through!"

With that Marti turned and started walking away at a brisk pace, desperately trying to keep her tears in as she was determined that Dan and everyone watching wouldn't see her cry.

The last part of her little speech had been a lot more antagonising then Marti had been going for but she was really struggling to keep her angering check and it was pretty clear that Dan was in the same boat so it may have been necessary to make sure he didn't follow her.

Of course it was extremely difficult for Marti not to turn back as he called after her, "You're not a dyke Marti. We're meant to be together. One day you'll realise that. I can wait until then."

"You'll die of old age first!" Marti snapped angrily, beginning to run as her eyes filled with tears of rage and sorrow.

Similar feelings flowed through Dan as he watched her go, staring blankly at the spot she disappeared just long enough for the small crowd to disperse. Then he took out his phone, selected Savannah's number on speed dial and then just stared at it for a few seconds.

On some level Dan knew he wasn't in a right mental state to say a single word to Savannah, or another one to Marti, and what he was thinking of doing was wrong. But it was a necessary evil, he reassured himself. Something which would benefit himself, Savannah and Marti in the long run. Because this way Savannah wouldn't have to lose everything, and Marti wouldn't have to waste her time in a doomed relationship, and most importantly of all he wouldn't lose Marti to a fucking girl. And Marti probably wouldn't talk to him again for a very long time, but one day she and maybe even Savannah would thank him.

So he pressed the little green button on his phone, brought it up to his lips/ear and waited.

He didn't have to wait long, "Dan..."

The apprehensive tone in Savannah's voice had Dan briefly hesitating. He was angry at Savannah, and would never forgive her or Alice for messing things up so much. But it would be better this way. Because from the way she had been talking about Savannah, which had been like a knife repeatedly stabbing his heart, Marti was so lost in her delusion that she was gay it could take years for them to break up, and the idea of banging hot chicks while waiting around for Marti to realise who she was meant to be with was no longer appealing.

Still... he would take no pleasure in doing what he had to do.

"Break up with Marti." He said coldly into the phone, "Tell her you were just experimenting or going through a phase. That you don't love her. That you've never loved her and you never will. That she disgusts you, that she can burn in hell, and then kick her out of your silly little club and never speak to her ever again. If you don't I'll tell everyone you're a fucking dyke who stole Marti from me!"

"Dan, please-" Savannah tried to interrupt in a weak voice.

"I'm serious." Dan said flatly, "I'll tell your Mom, your Dad, your sister, your whole stuck up family! And your cheerleader friends here, and back at Memphis Christian. I'll tell them all you're a lesbian whore and then your family will never speak to you again and you'll be the laughing stock at all those stupid cheerleading competitions of yours! So do as I say and then stay away from me and Marti."

With that Dan hung up the phone, feeling like the biggest jerk in the whole entire world.

Excluding murderers, rapists, etc he probably was because some extremely dark part of him had enjoyed that. It was like hurting the two girls who had hurt him was... therapeutic. He just hoped Savannah would do the right thing so he wouldn't have to make good on his threats. Either way he was confident he would eventually get the girl, but it would be better for everyone if Savannah just did what he said.

*

Savannah stood still as a statue with her phone to her ear for a long time. Not taking in the words, not calling Marti or anyone else, but just standing there rooted to the spot without a single thought going through her head.

She felt dead inside. And not the my soul is now in heaven or hell but like an actual corpse. It was perhaps the worst feeling she'd ever felt, and continued even as she slowly lowered herself down onto her bed, lying down flat on it and just waiting for the moment she would feel something again.

When she finally did Savannah prayed for the empty feeling to return as all her fears, anxieties and inner turmoil brutally tour her brain and even her soul apart, leaving her nothing but a crying wreck.

Meanwhile Marti was marching back to her dorm room, her tears slowly stopping as she became consumed with anger and rage, both at Dan for the things he had said and at herself for being so fucking stupid she didn't realise what was going on around her until it was too late.

Why hadn't she realised Dan had feelings for her a long time ago and dealt with it when he had first started having them, made it clear to him there would never be anything between them but friendship? Why did she have to have sex with him when that probably only added too or created these feelings in the first place? And most of all why couldn't she have realised she was gay before she joined the Hellcats so she could have asked Savannah out before Dan even met the beautiful brunette? And ok, Savannah might not have said yes right away but if Marti had made it clear to Dan she wanted Savannah he would have surely backed off AND understood which way she swung, which would avoid this whole messed up situation, right?

All those questions, and others that were running through her head, were briefly forgotten as she had a horrible case of déjà vu, Marti opening her door to find her roommate weeping on top of her covers. The only difference was the last time it had felt like Marti's heart was being ripped out, now it was like her heart was being ripped out and repeatedly stomped on.

"Savannah!" Marti called out, slamming the door closed behind her before rushing to her roomie's side, "What happened? Did Dan say something to you? Or Alice? If either of them said or did anything to hurt you I swear to God I'll kill them!"

"I... I..." Savannah whimpered, Marti's touch calming her to the point where she realised that Marti looked upset too, "Wh, why? What happen between you and Dan?"

"It's not important. Not compared to you." Marti said softly, brushing a hair out of Savannah's face, tucking it behind her ear and then cupping that pretty face she adored so much, "I mean you're... Savannah. Oh, Savannah, I... please just... just tell me what I can do to make whatever this is better. Whatever it is I'll do it. Just... just tell me how I can make this better..."

As Marti was talking Savannah lent into the blonde's hand, that small touch comforting her in a way she couldn't even describe. When Marti finished talking Savannah tried to form words but she just couldn't, so instead she slowly lent her head forwards so she was resting against Marti's chest.

Without another word Marti wrapped her arms around Savannah and held the cheerleader captain tightly, the two girls staying like that for what felt like an eternity as Savannah just gently cried against Marti's chest. Then all of a sudden they were slowly moving, Marti kicking off her shoes, gently lowering Savannah down and then getting underneath the covers with her. The whole time Marti never broke the embrace, and now the blonde was lying on her back with the brunette laying on top of her Savannah felt an overwhelming feeling of calm flooding her body. Not enough to stop the tears that were flowing from her eyes, but at least she stopped making any noise as the silence that followed was oddly comforting. Or maybe that was just Marti's arms. Savannah didn't know and she really didn't care. All that mattered was that for a while she was safe and happy.

Then suddenly Savannah had a moment of clarity. Well, truthfully it wasn't so sudden. In fact it wasn't sudden at all, just an acknowledgement of something she'd known long before she met Marti Perkins, perhaps even something she had known her entire life.

"I'm gay."

The words were so softly spoken it barely qualified as a whisper but in the silent room they sounded deafening, especially to Savannah who couldn't believe those words escaped from her lips.

They also sounded deafening to Marti, who was filled with so much overwhelming happiness from those two little words that she felt her own eyes flooding with tears of pure joy. She also briefly felt like letting out a girlish squeal for the first and probably the last time. However that urge quickly died down as she analysed the questioning and even sorrowful tone Savannah had used.

Clearly the other girl wasn't yet as happy with this as Marti was, but the blonde had no idea what she could possibly say to make it ok. Was there something? It felt like she should say something, but she really didn't want to put her foot in her mouth. Of course that was pretty much what Marti always did so why should this be any different?

As if to prove that point Marti's first words were, "Is... is that the first time you said that out loud?"

Stupid Marti! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!

"I... I don't think I've even let myself think it." Savannah said softly, "But I am... aren't I?"

Marti at least knew better than to answer that.

"It's ok. I know you think I'm gay. Apparently everybody does." Savannah murmured almost bitterly, "And they're right. Because I can try and deny it all I want but... you, you make me happy. It, it scares me. And it would be so, so much easier just to push you away, and part of me really wants too, but... I don't want to go back to pretending I'm happy when the truth is... I, I want you so badly it hurts..."

As Savannah seem to trail off Marti murmured, "You have me. If that's what you want. But... like I said before, you're not signing a contract. If... if you want out, you can just say the word, which will probably kill me, but... I want you to be happy."

"I know." Savannah said softly, another silence falling between them before she added, "My Mom will never forgive me. I mean, she probably already knows. Maybe that's why she's really so mad at me. Because leaving Memphis Christian is bad enough, but to be a sexual deviant... an abomination... that's-"

"HEY! Look at me!" Marti interrupted, waiting until Savannah was looking up at her before continuing, "You are neither of those things. You're beautiful, and kind, and caring, and just flat-out amazing. You're... you're perfect."

Savannah smiled softly and then said, "That's not how my Mom will see it. Or my Dad, or my sister, or anyone else in my family."

"Then don't tell them." Marti said, "Seriously, they shut you out so do the same to them."

There was a brief pause as Savannah considered telling Marti the reason for her latest and perhaps most hysterical crying fit yet. In a way she wanted too, partly because she was angry at Dan, and partly because she had cried so much over the last week and Savannah would like to make it clear to her lover that she wasn't always such a wreck, and this time it was more than just herself-hatred which led to her little outburst.

But Savannah didn't want Marti to think she was just doing all this because Dan had threatened to out her. Because sure, Savannah would have opted for another week or so of secretly dating before telling anyone, but now she thought about it that didn't seem very fair to Marti. Besides, she was so tired of all of this, and her family and friends had a right to hear the truth from her, not some angry ex-boyfriend.

"No." Savannah said softly but firmly, "They're my family. They deserve to know the truth."

"They don't, and we don't have to tell anyone if you don't want too." Marti promised, "I mean, I really want to tell people but-"

"I wanna tell people too." Savannah interrupted, surprising Marti with her first comment and then even more with her second, "I, I want to... you know... to tell... to... come out..."

Again Savannah's words made Marti overwhelmingly happy, but her tone had the blonde worried, "Are you sure?"

"Yes." Savannah whispered, "I was supposed to make a decision today. To decide whether we should date... no, whether we should keep dating or not. And I want too. I wanna keep dating you. And I'm... I'm so tired. I'm so tired of being afraid of what they and other people think. I'm so tired of pretending I'm something I'm not. I'm so tired of hating myself. I'm just... I'm just so tired of fighting these feelings I have when my family still barely talks to me as it is and I could live my entire life avoiding temptation yet still be hell bound for the way I feel inside. I just... I just want to be happy, and... you... you know. So I'll burn for you. I'll burn in hell if, if I can be with you. Even if... if I have to lose everything I had, everything I've ever wanted... that's ok. My family... my own cheer camp... heaven... I want those things... but not as much as I want to be happy..."

Throughout her speech Savannah's eyes had been welling up, perhaps more than ever before, so by the time she trailed off it seemed like the poor girl was seconds away from a total meltdown.

Knowing her next words maybe the most important she'd ever say the blonde did her best to make them good and not crap and/cheesy, Marti gently cupping Savannah's face again as she whispered, "I can't promise you heaven or success. No one can. But I promise you'll be happy. Whatever it takes, whatever I need to do I'll do it. I swear, I will make you happy."

Marti was pretty sure her words were at least cheesy but they seem to work, or at least not make the situation worse, so she considered it a win. Savannah still cried, but first she smiled gently down at Marti and then rested her head back down so the blonde could hold her again.

They stayed like that for what felt like another eternity, Savannah crying harder and longer than she'd ever done before. However unlike all those other times it truly made her feel better. It was like she was mourning the death of straight girl Savannah... a girl who had never really existed. Like everything Savannah had told herself she wanted died with her, and while Savannah wanted to revive her immediately, and would no doubt want to do so in the future, she didn't think she would ever want to enough to actually do it. Or like Savannah had been desperately clutching onto the door frame of her closet as Marti tried to pull her out of it, and now she was finally out the world wasn't big and scary but beautiful and Savannah never wanted to leave.

Eventually, when felt like she had no more tears to shed, Savannah asked, "So... tonight was going to be our final date... what were we going to do?"

Marti smiled softly.

"Well, I thought long and hard about it and nothing seemed good enough. So eventually I decided I would just take you back here, then ask you to look me in the eye..." Marti said, waiting until Savannah was doing just that before adding, "Then I was going to tell you that I love you and that I'd do anything to make you happy. That if you gave us a chance I would worship the ground you walk on and cheer you on as you achieve every goal you've ever wanted. That I believe in you, and if you let me, I'll be your football groupie forever."

The last comment actually got a small laugh out of Savannah, which of course was the intention, both girls briefly pausing as they remembered the insult which led to their first ever argument.

"I mean cheerleader." Marti grinned, "I'll be your own personal cheerleader, supporting you no matter what. I'll be whatever you want me to be Savannah, just so long as you promise to be mine. Please Savannah, be my girlfriend."

Savannah blinked at Marti for a few seconds, then smiled and softly whispered, "Yes... yes, I'll be your girlfriend."

Marti smiled, feeling tears of happiness well up again as she rested her forehead down against Savannah's. Then she gently kissed the other girl, although despite what Marti had intended it didn't remain gentle for long.

It seems that Savannah was tired of all this heavy talk and crying and wanted to do something to take her mind off it. Marti couldn't blame her and was more than happy to comply, however when she tried to switch their positions Savannah took her by surprise as she shoved her back down onto the bed and straddled her.

Almost instantly Savannah broke the kiss and after briefly pausing to pant murmured, "Stay. I want... I need to do something."

Marti opened her mouth to ask what but she was silenced by Savannah's lips. After that Marti quickly decided she would just let Savannah do whatever she wanted, the blonde lying back as she and her new girlfriend became a lost in a long, drawn out kiss which gave Marti plenty of opportunities to think of Savannah as her girlfriend, the term making her heart flutter every time.

Savannah went through something similar, although it wasn't primarily her heart which seem to be affected. As such by the time the kiss was broken the usually submissive brunette was like a rabid animal, quickly shoving the covers off the bed and then tearing at the clothes of her lover, almost literally ripping off the blonde's shirt and bra to get at her beautiful boobs.