Scenes Outside the Wilder-Fellini Building

"Kurt," you say quietly. "Leave your phone with me, if you don't mind. I saw you taking photographs of Professor Henderson's distress instead of doing the gentlemanly thing and helping her. I think that that was conduct most unbecoming to a true artist. Where is your compassion? Your empathy with human suffering? What themes can we expect from you in the future, I wonder? What are you likely to teach your own students when the time comes?"

The threat is clear, far from finding the mother lode as he must have thought he had done, if he doesn't co-operate now his careers as a student and professional in this industry are over. Unsmiling, you hold out your hand and reluctantly, he gives you, the Chair of his Dissertation Advisory Committee, his phone. He doesn't dare to look at you as he does so.

He waddles off sorrowfully in the direction of the parking lot without so much as a backward glance at me. You come closer, stand behind me and press your hard, powerful body against mine when he is out of sight. I can feel your cock, straining against the cloth of your trousers. I swoon, because, again, the promise is unmistakable.

"He is right, you know; you are exquisite; but if you cheat on me again baby, I am going to leave you here," you growl heatedly into my ear. "You make me so crazy! How could you be so stupid? This isn't a joke. You stand to lose everything if you keep spreading your legs for all the young men here on the campus. And yes, in case you're wondering, I'm still so angry that I want to kill you! I don't know why though, I just couldn't leave you here."

You pause, breathing deeply.

"I couldn't do it this time! But if there's a next time, Sulan!"

Your voice cracks as you try to tell me how you feel; and you pause again.

"Make no mistake, Sulan, I will not forgive you again," you say menacingly.

I feel deeply ashamed again. I want to protest that I haven't done it with all the young men on the campus, but I think better of this and shut up. I see myself for what I really am: a 40-year old selfish, spoiled, insensitive brat. I need to grow up. I don't deserve you and I know that I will never stray from your side even a single time in this life. Suddenly, everyone pales in comparison and I feel lucky to have you. Suddenly, I am proud to belong to you, and I don't care who knows it. I open my mouth to say something, but you shake your head and tell me to shut up, you are just not ready to hear it. You tell me that you really will dictate the terms from now on if I come home with you. It is no longer a game for us if I choose to stay in your home after noon today.

You pull my blouse down, stroking and pulling my stiff nipples surreptitiously as you do and then kneeling, you pull my skirt up gently over my wide hips and plant a single light kiss on my naked rump as it disappears from view. I recognize that kiss as your brand of ownership. That, even more than anything that you've said until now, has given me pause.

I see you throw something a little way off, and turn panicked to see if it is Kurt's phone. You tell me that it is the key for the handcuffs. The crowbar is not going to work in freeing me, but you will have Kurt find the key eventually. You tell me that we have 45 minutes before the first class and depending on how I behave you will conclude this before then. Although I'm no longer naked it would still be embarrassing for people to see me chained up like this.

"Thank you," I say, chastened.

I say nothing more. I really have learned my lesson. I have been opening my mouth too often recently, mostly to suck other men's cocks; but no more. We don't speak, but I can feel you staring at me as we wait for Kurt to return with your crowbar. I wonder if you're still hard. I know that you want me to choose to stay; and I have already done so. I know that you are going to want to see me restrained like this more often; and so long as it's at home, I don't mind. I know that you are going to watch me like a hawk; I know that it will take a very long time for me to regain your trust and for things to return to normal between us. I still have hope. I promise myself that I'm going to work hard to regain your respect in every sense of the word. My validation cannot come from outside anymore; it has to start coming from deep inside me. Despite how badly I've behaved and what you've said I like our game-playing. I don't want that to change to a full-time D/s lifestyle, but I'm not in a position to negotiate right now. I'm going to learn to give a killer erotic massage. I want to do something nice for you and to cause you to crave coming home to me in the future.

I glance at you and see you looking at me quizzically. I didn't realize that I'd been smiling serenely, lost in my thoughts about our grand future together. For the first time this morning I notice the birdsong and how cool and refreshing the light breeze is. I notice too, how jetlagged and sad you look. Involuntarily, I reach out toward you and you roll your eyes and look away toward the parking lot. I want to hold you and listen to your breathing while you sleep. I know exactly what is going to happen when you get me home this morning and frankly, that's fine with me.