tagLetters & TranscriptsSecret Agent Valdez Flirts Online

Secret Agent Valdez Flirts Online

bycowgirlblues©

Hello Doc,

Well my spelling is brilliant and I make fantastic martinis. But I have brown eyes. Does that disqualify me? Anyway I'm the same as you, or at least looking for the same as you. I need to be able to click with someone emotionally, mentally as well as physically. But obviously physical is important so perhaps you'd like to see my pic -- password is "curly". Let me know if it appeals...G

Hello Grantie!

Thanks for your message. No, brown eyes are not a deal breaker at all! You look very cute on your photo. Could I ask more about you? What do you do? What are your great passions in life? What makes you tick? Yours (if you're lucky).

Doctor Valdez

So many questions, Doctor Valdez! Where do I start? Well I work in media -- am keeping it a bit vague, though am sure I will open up eventually! As for passions and what makes me tick, wow how much space have I got here? Music and film are big passions, as are most of the arts. I play a lot of golf, I run a lot -- in fact am off for a quick run in a minute, my excuse for a lunch hour. And as for what makes me tick, well I suppose my life lacks adventure, passion, lust, excitement, a smattering of hedonism and a need to laugh more! That's not to say my life is unsatisfying, it isn't, it just needs a little more. And maybe that's the same with you? And thanks for the nice comment about the pic, a great start to the day. G

Ooh, how very mysterious! I too like to keep a low profile, as I work for HMG and you can never be too careful. It sounds as if you and I have a few things in common Agent Grantie. I too love music in all its guises, film, theatre and excellent television drama and comedy. And of course sex! Before we go further, my password is: "femme fatale". Just so that you can see if I float your boat. No point in wasting precious time, is there?

Agent Valdez

Ah yes, I forgot about the other prime boat-floater that I should have listed on my email. Sex. Obviously. And lots of it. But I hope the click needs to be there for you too -- conversation, laughs, wit, that elusive chemistry...Anyway Agent Valdez, what a wonderful set of pictures. And so relieved to discover we've never crossed medical paths. Although that might be interesting come to think of it...Oh and I love that pic from Something Wild. Great film. A personal favourite of yours? G

Agent Grantie, I can indeed confirm that the "click" needs to be there for me too. Especially the humour. Contrary to popular belief, I am not just a sex robot. Although I play that part quite well too....

Medical paths, eh? I thought you were in meeja. Are you an actor on Holby City? I confess that I am not a Doctor in the non-Oprah Winfrey sense. It is simply my nom de plume, under which I can get up to all manner of naughtiness without getting my mistress into trouble. I would love to cross medical paths with you, as it were, Dr Agent Grantie! Yes, Something Wild is a personal favourite of mine and something of an inspiration. I am a slightly wild, free spirit and so every now and then I feel the need to express that, preferably with someone witty, charming and gorgeous. I'm hoping that person will be you Dr Agent Grantie!

Doc

So now I'm a Doctor AND an Agent. I have to confess I think my medical skills leave a little to be desired, whereas I obviously fancy myself as a secret agent. Is making martinis still a secret agent skill these days?Funny you should say Something Wild is something of an inspiration. I think I am (was?) probably closer in temperament to Jeff Daniels in that film -- a fairly safe exterior masking a far more dangerous side, a need to express myself in more unconventional ways. I just need to find the right partner in crime. Although there's nothing criminal about a lustful liaison. And is that Cyd Charisse on the other pic? Another inspiration? Are you a dancing doctor, ballet pumping your way through medical school. Or is that a bad double entendre?So, lust, sex, love of American films, martinis (and gimlets for me) and a total abhorrence of walking through daisied fields on a long romantic walk. That's quite a lot of shared interests already.The only problem so far is I work in meeja- I love cliches! Then again, I also love trouble so...By the way, I think I'd be quite good on Holby City. Would be a very responsive patient.G

Ah Agent Dr Grantie, so many problems, so little time. If Jeff Daniels has taught you something (other than always ask for the key to your own handcuffs), surely he has taught you to blow caution to the wind and just dive into the beautiful abyss that is the world of Lou Lou. The Doctor is a cover, Grantie, dear oh dear, you've got some serious agenting skills to pick up if we're going to get anywhere at all. What do they teach you at media school? Reading the news is just not good enough these days. You need to know how to kung fu a psychopath ex-husband at the very least.

In answer to your question, yes, making martinis is the number one skill. Mess that simple task up and how can you possibly be expected to save your country from the dreaded Russkies?

Yes, you perceptive little Agent/Newsreader/Holby City corpse, it is indeed Cyd Charisse and her incomparable legs. I admire your extensive knowledge of the moooovies. It is an important quality I look for in a co-agent. All those hours spent together on the job, often in confined conditions, hidden away, with not a whole lot to do other than talk about your favourite films while comparing kalashnikovs. And other concealed weapons.

So, Agent Dr Grantie, why is your being a media mogul a problem for our secret mission? You think I'm not capable of being discreet enough? Brezhnev never complained, even when I did leave whip marks on his quite substantial and not very firm behind. You can count on me for total discretion. I hope I will get to meet you soon, Grantie dahling, maybe exchanging briefcases on a bench by the Thames? Or even better, when you buy me a martini at a very discreet watering hole. I look forward to it.

Velma

It’s obviously faux naivete Velma, to lull you into a false sense of security. But I was sooo hoping you might have a stethoscope and be practiced in examination skills. Oh well, fantasy over...I’m pretty certain my media-ness is no bar whatsoever to further exploratory talks and possible night manoeuvres. (Am sure that’s spelt wrong, forgive me.)You certainly don’t hold back do you? Handcuffs, kung-fu, whips, concealed weapons. You seem to be something of a one-woman army. I think I’d like to enlist, if you’d have me.

So. Martinis. In town? Do you work/live in London. I live in West London, work in Central London. Am pretty sure we’d have lots to talk about...G

I think, Dear Agent Dr Grantie, that there is something wrong with your typewriter. Some of your sentences are starting to resemble Finnish poetry of the 13th century. As inspiring as I am, I cannot imagine that you are already penning odes celebrating my many virtues. Ah, Grantie, you really do have much to learn. I have many tricks up my sleeve. If it's a stethoscope you want, it's a stethoscope you'll have, although I assure you that there are much less painful instruments for conducting the kind of examination I believe you have in mind. In fact, Dr Valdez specialises in those kinds of examinations. Clearly a much sought after medical practitioner. Yes, Grantie, I "work" and "live" in London. My current whereabouts are in a secret location in London. I work in Central London, near to that place you and your countrymen call Covent Garden, although there is not much evidence of either gardening or nuns there. Is there a suitable place there to ply a one-woman army with martinis, bearing in mind I abhor having to mingle with the common man?

What are your favourite movies Grantochka?

Velma

Well obviously Ninotchka. Anything with Garbo. And all those film noir femme fatale 50s movies -- you know the ones where cocksure detective gets played by a sassy moll, squishes grapefruits in her face, falls for her evil ways and then turns her over to the cops with a glint in his eye. Danger. And knowing glances. And sudden explosions of lust. Yes. Movies really should be more like life. And one of my favourites has the ultimate femme fatale called....Velma. Raymond Chandler's finest hour. Or are you named after the naughty minx in Chicago?

If I tell you I am a big western fan will you put a block on me? I don't wear cowboy boots in town, not since my horse bolted anyway, and my ten gallon hat just doesn't match my suit so I have to keep those behind doors. But goodies and baddies, saloon bars and windswept streets peopled by sharp-shooters. Well, come on, that's London isn't it?

Oh and anything with Robert de Niro. And obviously all Jennifer Aniston's films. One of those is a lie.

I'll have you know that I graduated in Finnish poetry. All that schnapps and snow does crazy things to their libidos and rhyming couplets.

Covent Garden can be such a charmless desert. Or maybe I just don't know the right places. Joe Allen's always, and there's a good cocktail bar at the Hawksmoor and, as long as you don't think of me as a wanker, I do like Soho House. G

First things first, Dr Agent Wanker. I can be persuaded to set foot in Soho House. I happened to have got hitched there some years ago and so cannot play the virtue card I'm afraid. I have heard much about this Hawksmoor, but have not yet steaked it out. If you get my drift...

I'll settle for a martini in Soho House, in a discreet corner. I am not a member, though, Grantie, so you would have to smuggle me in under your giant overcoat and trilby.

You guessed correctly. I am named after that glorious, but ill-fated femme fatale in Farewell My Lovely. She knew how to work a man and smoke a cigarette. Some would say the two are related.

No no no no to your first paragraph. The woman goes scott free while the hapless lover is taken away to the electric chair. Or she shoots him and then herself in a frenzy when he can no longer take the strain. There is no turning over to the cops Grantie. Not in my world. I am indeed a dangerous minx, not to be messed with, up to no good and irresistible to men. If you think you can handle me, then sure, why not give it a go!I love a good fight. I thought Bobby sold himself short in The Object of My Affection though. He should have gone off with Kevin Bacon.

Velma

Men and cigarettes. Both require a good pair of lips. That's mine not Chandler's!

Am good at smuggling things into Soho House. Sadly discreet corners v difficult to find. But shall try.

And I'm pretty sure already I might struggle to handle you but then that's the best bit. As Mitchum/Bogart et al knew all along.So...when's good? G

Mmmm. You have the looks of an actor, the martini-making skills of an agent and now the verbal (and hopefully other) dexterity of a Raymond Chandler. I am beginning to appreciate you more and more. As to when is good, well it depends on whether you had in mind an early or late drink. I am around early on Sunday and late on Thursday. Do either of those suit? Otherwise Friday after work might work. As an agent, I have very unpredictable hours, but I have to be seen doing my "cover" job during office hours Monday to Friday.

Velma

Friday is perfect. I will come unarmed. As it were. Lunch, afternoon, early evening all free at the moment. So I'll let you and your unpredictable hours choose when's best.

Am very intrigued by your 'cover job' by the way...

Have a good weekend and stay clear of anyone called Moose.

Do message should you get the urge. I shall have to inspect your pictures more closely when not I'm not at work...G

How delightful! Friday would be perfect. Let's say 6/6.30? You choose. Where shall I meet you? I'm sure you I will be able to entrust you with more about my "cover" job in due course.

I wish you too an excellent weekend. Fear not, Moose has already been dispatched and can currently be found floating face-down past the Thames barrier.

I'm sure I will get the urge and I shall most certainly message you. Perhaps you'd like to share with me in due course which of my pictures you find most alluring and why. Feel free to share any of your thoughts with me Dr Agent Grantie. I am always ready to embark on wild flights of the imagination....

Velma

6.30 sounds perfect Velma. Now I only have a week to deal with the nerves. What would Bogart do? Fall head over heels for a dame no doubt, knowing 'wrong' things quite often feel very right.Inventive thoughts buzzing round my head right now -- not a good idea for the Tube. Having said that it's made the journey far more interesting. And like all good agents I'm keeping a straight face...G

Good work Dr Agent Grantie. I knew I could rely on you when I recruited you. Just keep cool at all times. I need a man who can light my virtual cigarette with a steady hand. I often find a neat Bourbon or two deal with any pre-mission nerves. But when it comes to Velma, you'd need a bottle of hooch to make you feel calm and then you'd be deader than is useful to a hungry dame.

Have a good week Dr Agent Grantie.

Velma

And I'm at curly@gmail.com though it sometimes plays up when at work. As do I! Don't want to give too much away before we even meet....although the way I feel now that might not be realistic! G

Ooh, Dr Agent Grantie, I LOVE the sound of you playing up at work. Please tell me what the involves. I wish I could play up with you! Trust me, Dr Agent Valdez has never failed at getting information out of her subjects. You will give in, of course. It's just a matter of time. Do you have any more photos of your delicious self?

Doc

By the way I like the one with the green fur jacket. And the look in the first one, with the tattoo on your right arm. There's something extremely naughty in that look. Lauren Bacall eat your heart out....G

Ah yes, the green fur jacket was a gift from Abramovich, in return for getting him the Chelsea deal. It's Mongolian rabbit. Very rare, Very valuable. As for my look being naughty, yes it's what they all say. A certain look in my eyes that says: "I could twist you round my little finger, sucker. I'm a badass. And I want it NOW!"You may think me a little forward. You'd be right! I was trained at the famous Academy in Minsk to always get what I wanted. Ah, good old times.

Doc

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