Sex After SixtybyBakeboss©
First off, I'd like to say to all you young whippersnappers out there, stop saying eww. We older people have as much right to a good sex life as you do. Just remember only the lucky get old and if you're lucky enough to get to my age, you'll want to get laid too. Next, the only qualifications I have to talk on this subject are of a personal knowledge, as I have no professional training in this field.
Everyone, man or woman has a right to an active sex life no matter how old he or she may be. However, having that right does not necessarily mean you or your partner has the ability to fulfill that right. In most people, aging is a gradual process and we tend not to notice our loss of stamina and a lowering of libido. Many couples are amazed when they find out how long it has been since they've been intimate. There appears to be a certain time line and once crossed, sex disappears between them. It is an unconscious decision that we make, that going without is just easier than having sex.
Our sex life began declining after my wife went through menopause. As the closet sub in our relationship, I always enjoyed letting my wife take the lead in not only our marriage but particularly in the bedroom. With the hormone loss, came a lessoning of desire from her and although still willing to participate, she no longer had a strong sex drive. When you add in less lubrication and my no longer rock hard erection it tended to make sex work instead of pleasure.
As I kept getting the feeling that she was merely allowing, instead of wanting sex I would often fail to achieve orgasm and just give up. My wife took this as a lack of desire for her, further complicating our sex life. She interpreted my failed performances as a sign that she no longer had a desirable body. I repeatedly told her this wasn't true but to her she had my feeble erection as all the proof she needed. She told me many times that she didn't miss the sex as much as she missed the post coital cuddling. As for me, I just couldn't bring myself to tell her it wasn't her body that failed to turn me on it was her lack of a sex drive.
Everything physically appeared to work for both of us just not well enough for us to have sex. I turned to internet porn and masturbation and although not hard enough for intercourse, I would be firm enough to achieve orgasm. My wife turned to romance novels for much of the same reason. I kept jacking off and she kept losing herself between the pages of Harlequin as the clock kept ticking. It didn't take long before we just quit trying, weeks turned into months and months into years.
Finally, my wife came to me one day to say she wanted to have sex. As always, she was the aggressor and took the first step. She asked me what I thought was inhibiting our ability to make love. I told her I believed it to be honesty as we held back our own feelings from each other. I then went on to say that, I also missed our sex life and that we should put more effort into it. We gave it another try and achieved another failure. After finally giving up, we sat together on the bed naked both trying to find some way of accomplishing something we had done thousands of time. She asked me what I thought of the little blue pill or one of the many other male sexual enhancements. I told her I was concerned what they may do to my health but that I would be willing to go to a doctor and talking to him about them. I told her that I was capable because I could still masturbate to orgasm. She leaned over and took my limp dick in her hand. Then suddenly she let go of me and scooted back on our bed.
"Do you remember when we were young and I would sit back and let you watch me play with myself but not allow you to touch me?"
Just the thought made my dick twitch and I'm sure she saw it because she got that evil grin on her face that I always loved. She put her hand to her slit and separated herself with one finger. I told her she always drove me crazy with her teases so she continued. She began to rub her clit then she gave me that little girl frown as she said,
"I'm just so dry, I need to be wetter."
I got down between her legs and stuck out my tongue, yet not touching her. She ran her finger over my tongue and then inserted into her slit.
"Oh yes, that feels better, now open up and give me some more."
She used my saliva for lubrication repeatedly and just as she neared orgasm, she moved forward putting her slit in my face. She came for the first time in months that I know of and as for me I was hard and humping the bed under me. She lay back down and I mounted her as she helped insert my erection inside. As we made love, I kept going back to those times, long ago, as she pleasured herself while she teased me unmercifully. I came maybe not like a racehorse but at least as good as an old man can.
It was wonderful and we both felt satisfied, not only from the sexual act but also from accomplishing something we no longer felt possible. I went out that evening and purchased a bottle of sex lube to help her stay wet. The next time we tried it I applied the lube to both her and I and after I entered her, I talked to her of times past when she had driven me crazy with her sexy ways. Although she didn't achieve orgasm that time, I did and this satisfied her almost as much as if she had cum too.
We are now having sex, not as often as we once did but at least we are having sex. To all you seniors out there not having sex with your partner don't give up. Talk with your spouse, talk honestly, but not mean. It is hard to tell the wife she is not wet enough without her thinking you're calling her a dried up old prune. It is just as hard to tell a man that he's not hard enough without him thinking she's calling him a limp-dicked old man. Remain calm and if you insult her apologize and if you feel the same try not to take it personally.
As for the little blue pills, I never went to the doctor so I've never tried them. I feel my problem was more libido than physical but of course, I could be wrong. Don't be embarrassed about going to the doctor, they are prescribing these pills by the carload and I'm sure they're helping millions of couples. The only thing you need to do is take that first step and remember the longer you wait the harder it is to get back to that thing you both enjoyed so much when you were younger.