The story you are about to read is surreal. They involve characters you don’t know and love and an epic battle is fought between the forces of evil and sneaky evil. So grab your popcorn bag, loosen your belt buckles and grab a cold one, as without further adieu I bring you the classic story - The Sexorcist.
Our story begins somewhere in Hawaii where a so called innocent girl hereafter referred to as Chase has come down with what she thinks is a common virus. She returns home where she runs up to her bed (and no, a radioactive spider didn’t bite her if that’s what you were thinking). Anyways, after some time her mom seems to think that she is acting strange and goes into her room to check on her. What she sees inside this ghostly dark room is quite shocking. Written in blood upon young Chase’s walls is the word "Zuel".
"Chase darling come have some tea my dear", requests her mother half full of fear. In a gravelling chain smoker voice definitely with a demonic slant the terrified mother hears "Be gone Human. Chase is gone. Only I, Zuel rule this body".
The mother freaks and runs to her phone frantically calling 9-1-1. "Help. My daughter has been possessed by a demon called Zuel. What can you do? Hello...Hello...please don't hang up on me".
Suddenly the mother feels herself effortlessly being lifted by the back of her neck. She dares not turn to face that demonic being who has taken over her daughter. She hears Zuel speak to her "I have a job for you. I wish for you to bring over guys and girls to me intending to have sex and little will they know that I will eat their flesh raw. Do it now. Or you will never see your daughter again." Chase’s mother collapses on the ground, looks around and sees that she is alone. Was it a dream? She hears hunger groans from Chase’s room and sees drops of green slime around her feet.
Her task is clear. She must help her daughter even if others are to lose their life. If Zuel is appeased perhaps he/she/it will let her lovely daughter go. Seems logical and she goes and places an ad entitled “free sex” in the local newspaper.
A month drifts by as some 40 bodies have vanished which is fairly normal in Hawaii. Zuel's appetite has grown and the demon demands more. The mother freaking out realizes that she must do something and something fast.
While half a world a way...
"You know Professor Fred, I really appreciate the chance you've given me to do some extra credit work to get my degree in Sexorcistology. I mean you are by far the most leading expert on the subject", a young Bryan adds.
"Yes, Bry’, I am that and so much more. It is I who women come to when they are possessed of that fear factor concerning swallowing a man's cum. When I finish with them, they can swallow like the best of them and not miss a drop", notes Professor Fred.
"And for those frigid types?” reminds pupil Bryan.
"Yes. I can take those CEO workaholics and turn them into healthy productive nymphomaniacs. And of course I test my merchandise personally before letting it get back on the streets. You know Bry', there has yet to be a girl with a phobia that I've not been able to Sexorcise", replays the Fredster.
"Well life is good...” offers Bryan as the telephone suddenly rings.
"Hello...this is Professor Fred, Sexorcist extraordinaire. How can I be of service to you? Yes...Ah ha...Yes...Of course...that's what I'm here for...Excellent...so hold on a sec and talk with my assistant...” Professor Fred proceeds to pass the phone to his assistant. “Hey Bryan, seems there's some crazy mother in Hawaii on the line. Get her credit card number and book us first class. I have a group session needing nympho conversion in about 15 minutes and I want to take a shower first” Professor Fred tells his youthful assistant.
”No problem boss. Asian vegetarian on the flight?” Bryan offers.
”Naw...make it steak. Raw steak. I think we got a live one on our hands...” Professor Fred responds splitting the scene.
”Hey, Professor Fred that was one rocking flight we had, but it seems you kind of went to the bathroom quite a lot. Something you ate?” Bryan tries to act witty for a change.
"Nope but the stewardess ate plenty if you catch my drift my young apprentice. Ah...taxi we are at our location. Tip the driver for me Bry’’' Professor Fred delivers.
The two Sexorcists have arrived at their destination descending from the cab as the driver bolts out of there in a flash.
As they glance upon the house a feeling of dread fills the air around them as they climb those few steps leading towards a half open door. Without speaking a word Professor Fred enters the abode and notices that electricity no longer functions in this place to indicate some past due bill (a clue?). The door in typical cliché' fashion locks itself from behind. Suddenly, Bryan and Professor Fred hear their names being called from above. Knowing that it is just a chic with a rather horse demonic voice they know she is no match for a group of professionally trained Sexocists. Slowly they go up the stairway into the vile smelling room.
Professor Fred immediately recognizes the subject in question.
"Oh it is you Chase. You don't seem to be looking so good about now,” Professor Fred says as he looks for a handy barf bag.
"Silence human. Chase is no more. It is only Zuel that lives in this body,” offers Zuel/Chase.
"Zuel? Don't you have a statue of yourself located in some Nomad's land in the Middle East?” offers Professor Fred in an obvious attempt to bluff.
”Yes. What of it?” snorts Zuel/Chase.
”Well as I remember ages ago I chanced upon your statue which the natives said was haunted” Professor Fred obviously holding back the punch line.
”So we have met before” Zuel/Chase responds taking the bait.
”Well yes...Did I mention that I took a piss on you? No. I don't think so” Professor Fred laughs at he gives Bryan a high five.
”You shall die mortal” as Zuel/Chase ends the moment of comic relief or did she/it.
”Hey Fred. Zuel looks pretty bad ass for a chic” Bryan offers his two cents worth of dialogue.
”Don't worry young padawan, Zuel doesn't realize that she can't match a trained Sexorcist” relays Professor Fred who feels a surge of cocky confidence.
”Sexorcist? Ha Ha. I have the eternal power of Satan running through my veins and you got some cheap parlor tricks” Zuel/Chase responds as the foreplay seems an after thought.
”Zuel's right Fred. We got our money why don't we just split and get ourselves out of here” Bryan offers in bummer dude fashion.
Professor Fred not to be discouraged prepares for battle “Bryan, we are about to earn of living for a change. Better put your hands on your ears. This will be loud (deep breath). I COMMAND THEE TO RETURN TO THE PLACE YOU CAME OH VILE CREATURE OF THE DEEP. RELEASE CHASE THIS INSTANT”.
”Why Fred you can talk in capital letters like the best of them. I don't think it worked...but look...” Bryan speaks as a transformation takes place.
An extremely nude seductive Chase is beckoning our dynamic duo to come or rather cum as she lays spread eagle on the bed. Zuel appears to be gone as the beautiful Chase in orgasmic fashion begs the boys for entrance. Her pussy seems to move slightly up and down hypnotically as her moans excite both Professor Fred and Bryan.
Bryan pushes Professor Fred back and jumps on Chase. He opens his mouth to take a mouthful of nipple. Only by Fred's quickly grab and jerk is Bryan’s life spared as an acid shot shoots out of Chase’s nipple and burns Bryan's cheek and ear. Zuel has returned disfiguring Chase’s lovely figures.
"You mortals may have escaped my first test, but soon you shall both die" Zuel/Chase tells the two scared shitless Sexorcists.
Flames spread through out the room as Zuel the Succubus senses her kill - tonight she dines on two poor souls. Zuel had arisen upon the bed. A hideous site to behold even for a nude chic. Little resemblance of the lovely Chase can be seen under Zuel's red exterior.
Bryan feels the dire need to escape. His reach for the door proved to be too late, as two clawed hands grab him with lightning quick reflexes and with a simple jerking motion twist his head in a full 360-degree circle.
Professor Fred by process of elimination now knows that it is his turn next. At least he would put in a bit of his Krav Maga training on the beast just before his demise. Zuel approached with drooling mouth.
Just before Professor Fred lets out a useless uppercut he sees two words emerging through Zuel's scaly belly.
Those two beloved words came like a voice from above, even though they were from Chase longing to break free. Two words as these, spoke eternal truths even in this modern day Dante's inferno; Two words to alter the timeline, to change history, to bring down kingdoms, to evolve a species. Those two words can be none other than..."Fuck Me".
Suddenly the unexpected happens as Professor Fred, lover of chics, throws the vile Zuel upon the bed much to the demons surprise. With considerable effort and deadly scratches Fred rips down his pants (thank goodness not wearing underwear - and who says a Sexorcist is never prepared) and begins to enter the female beast.
Zuel seems to be fighting an inner struggle as Fred plows his penis deep into the vaginal depths of hell.
The room is shaking as Zuel and Chase battle it out for dominance. Professor Fred, burnt and bleeding, slowly sees the transformation as Zuel starts to leave Chase. Slowly Professor Fred keeps on pumping way past when Zuel has left Chase's body. Chase is more then happy to please her benefactor.
"Oh Fred. It was like a nightmare. You saved me with sex were others had failed (take this quote to the cleaners)" Chase offers with a kiss.
"No problem Chase my dear” Professor Fred responds with a kiss in return.
Chase suddenly remembers, "Oh no.we forgot about Bryan. I didn't mean to kill him".
"You didn't hot stuff. I'm feeling better then ever" Bryan gets up this the circle is complete.
"Bry’ my man? I could've sworn that Zuel broke your neck" Professor Fred thankfully offers.
"Me? Naw...everything’s zuel...I mean cool" Bryan tells all.
With a sparkling wink of his eye and a sly grin from Bryan, the threesome head out to an all night "Steak and Shake" restaurant where Professor Fred and Chase share a nice milkshake as they watch young Bryan down about a dozen raw steak burgers.