Shattered Dreams Ch. 07

Janey held her wallet tightly in her hand as she waited on the steps of the building where the counselling sessions were being held. The day's session had ended an hour early today and she wanted to surprise Adam and Robby by getting a taxicab to the station and walking in to surprise them. Her fear of being out by herself was as great as ever but the focus for her in today's session had been how to reclaim her independence and to learn to get about on her own and feel safe while she did it.

"Here's the taxi cab Janetta. Are you sure you want to do this?" Amy Martin asked. Amy was the co-ordinator of the counselling sessions and when Janey's counsellor had approached her with Janey's desire to be able to move around the city by herself, Amy had talked to Janey and decided that the best thing would be for her to arrange a taxicab to the police station for Janey.

"I want to be normal," Janey insisted and Amy caught the note of desperation in her voice.

"Okay then. I will walk you down to the taxi, but then it is up to you. The taxi will take you to the front entrance of the police station. You get out there, go inside and go to the third floor," Amy told Janey for maybe the sixth time. "I have already contacted the station and your friend Adam Saunders will be waiting for you to arrive."

Janey nodded as she reached for the handle of the door on the taxicab. She swallowed the urge to vomit as she opened the door and got into the backseat. She was dimly aware of Amy giving the address of the police station to the female cab driver and then the vehicle was pulling away into traffic.

The ride to the station seemed to take forever and when the cab finally came to a stop outside the station Janey fumbled awkwardly as she as she paid for the ride with visibly shaking hands.

"Do you want me to sit here and make sure you get inside the building?" The cabbie asked.

"Would you?" Janey turned scared eyes towards the driver once again.

"Sure thing love. You seem a bit shaky," The woman remarked casually. She was often called to take people needing transport from the health centre to various places around the city.

Janey smiled nervously at the woman. "Thank you." she said then got out of the cab uneasily. She shut the vehicle door and stood still for a moment as she took a deep breath and forced herself to walk towards the doorway. She paused in the doorway with a sigh of relief and turned to look back at the cab that was still sitting at the curb. The driver gave a brief wave then pulled out into traffic.

Inside the building Janey stepped into a lift with several other women and two children. The lift stopped at each floor and some people got out while others got in. Finally the doors opened to the third floor and Janey hurried out into the corridor. She glanced one way and then the other not sure which way to go. Seeing an officer at a front desk not to far away she made her way to the desk and waited her turn to speak to him.

"Yes may I help you?" He asked when it was her turn.

"I... I'm here to see Adam Saunders," She stammered nervously.

"Down to the end of the hall on the right and he should be in the large squad room on the left. Next please..."

Janey turned away from the service desk and headed along the hallway nervously. Here and there were rough dirty looking people sitting on bench seats of waiting by doorways. Reaching the large room she paused in the doorway and looked around for Adam. She couldn't see him but there were several open doors off the room that officers walked in and out of as they went about their work.

"Can I help you Miss?" The voice was masculine but soft and soothing and Janey looked towards it. The older man gave her a reassuring smile as she glanced at him nervously.

"I...I...I'm looking f... for Adam Saunders," Janey stuttered nervously, her unease increasing.

"I'll just give him a buzz on his phone and he can come out here," The officer said and picked up the phone on his desk. He punched in a couple of numbers and waited as it rang. "Saunders, you got a visitor here at my desk...Oh and I forgot to tell you Janetta Wilkinson will be dropping in to see you... Yeah, okay then." The officer hung up the phone and turned to Janey with a smile. "He'll be out here in a minute or so. You can take a seat over by the window if you like."

Janey moved over where he had pointed and stood shifting from foot to foot nervously as she waited. After a few minutes Adam appeared out of one of the doorways and headed to the desk where Janey had spoken to the officer. The officer pointed over towards Janey and Adam turned to face her.

"Janey! How did you get here?" Adam asked surprised as he walked over to her.

"By taxi," Janey answered with a pleased smile.

"Well, come into my office and I'll get you a cup of tea to drink," Adam said as he guided her towards the door he had emerged from.

Janey had been attending counselling for three days now and had been staying with Adam in his flat each night. She spent an hour of an evening with her brother before he had to leave for work. And though she suspected her brother was aware that she and Adam were sleeping together so far he had not broached the subject with her.

Adam pulled a chair out from his desk for Janey to sit on and stepped close as he put his arms around her and kissed her quickly on the lips. He picked up his own empty coffee cup from his desk. "I'll just go get that drink for you," he told her and headed back out into the squad room.

Janey waited impatiently for him to return and when he did he also had a plate of sandwiches to go with the drinks.

"I missed lunch," he said by way of explanation as he placed the tray containing a cup of tea and one of coffee plus the plate of sandwiches on the desk. "Would you like something to eat?" he asked as he pushed the plate towards her.

"I'm right thanks," Janey told him as she reached for her cup of tea. She glanced up to find him watching her with a thoughtful expression on his face.

"Aren't you supposed to finish at three o'clock today?" Adam asked.

"I got an early mark," Janey said with a smile.

"Well you are certainly happy to be here. Who dropped you off?" He asked as he reached for a sandwich.

"I came here by myself in a taxi. I did it. All by myself," Janey said proudly.

"Well done!" Adam praised around a mouthful of food. "I am so proud of you!" He ran his eyes over the low cleavage of her top and grinned as she blushed. He couldn't help noticing that she had started to fill out more in the bust since he had first met her.

"Do you know if Robby is at work yet this afternoon?" Janey asked.

"No he doesn't start until six," Adam said. "Did you want to see him for some reason?"

"I was just asking if he was at work," Janey said as she looked away. She wanted to share her achievement with her brother as well.

"I only have another three quarters of an hour before I quit for the day. Do you want me to call a taxi so you can go back to the flat or do you want to wait around here?" Adam asked.

"I'll wait here. I can read a magazine or something. I won't get in the way." Janey rushed to reassure him.

Adam glanced at the clock on his desk with a frown and made a mental note to make sure they were out of the building no later than three-thirty.

"As long as you don't mind sitting around quietly while I do paperwork. I have some cases to check over and possible leads to follow up on before I go," he told her.

Janey picked up a magazine from the top of a second desk and walked over to a chair and sat down. She glanced at the magazine and discovered it was several months old. Idly she began to flip through the pages pausing to read an article here and there. She found an interesting article on a popular celebrity and looked at the photos that went with the article in stunned silence.

The face of Colin Farrell looked so familiar, and yet not. She gave a startled gasp as she realised he reminded her of Ren. Hurriedly she glanced up to see if Adam had heard her but he had his head bent over his paperwork. She hugged the magazine to herself for a second before turning back to it. Janey studied the picture, noting the slight differences.

"The hair is too dark. In fact the entire complexion is wrong. The hair should be an almost sun streaked blonde, with faint traces of ginger in the goat. The eyes should be green not brown and the eyebrows not as bushy with more of an arch to them." Janey paused in her thoughts and lifted her head to look at Adam where he was busily working at his desk before she turned her attention to the pictures once again. "And the mouth is wrong, both lips should be full not just the bottom one. And surely Colin Farrell was shorter than Ren, the height should be more like James' height of six foot two or even an inch or two more." Janey mused to herself before shutting the magazine abruptly and tossing it aside. She didn't want to remember the way one corner of Ren's mouth seemed always on the verge of curling into a half smile, the broad width of his shoulders and chest that was filled out with well-toned muscles.

Janey got to her feet and began pacing the room as she tried to still her errant thoughts.

"He's in the past, a part of her past that was best left undisturbed like a nearly forgotten nightmare," Janey told herself as she came to a halt facing Adam's desk. Adam was watching her with a frown and she realised he had spoken to her but she had been too lost in her thoughts to hear him.

"Are you okay?" Adam repeated his question when Janey stopped pacing agitatedly and stood facing him for several seconds.

"Yeah, just thinking too much," Janey said refusing to glance towards the magazine.

"I'll be finished here in ten maybe fifteen minutes," Adam said. "Will you be right until then?" he asked.

Janey gave a faint shrug, "Sure, should be." She watched him for a few moments as he turned his attention back to the paperwork.

"I might go grab myself another drink," she said and went over to retrieve her wallet from where she had been sitting. She paused a moment as she looked at the magazine beside her wallet, grabbed her wallet and turned towards the door.

Out in the squad room Janey made her way to a machine that dispensed cans of drink and fed it coins then pushed the button for a bottle of spring water. She collected the cold bottle from the slot in the machine, opened it and took a drink before turning around to head back towards Adam's office.

She paused as some faint sound caught her attention. The familiar sound caused warmth to fill her body and suffuse into her blood like potent liqueur. She felt her breasts swell and her nipples pucker into hard little nubs, a strong pull started radiating low in her hips and shooting up to her breasts. Even her lips tingled as if she had been kissed thoroughly while pleasure sent the hair on her head standing on end with electrifying pleasure. Between her thighs she felt the quick flow of moisture and the throbbing ache that signalled her arousal.

Janey turned to face the sound, tremors of excitement making her hands shake as she held her drink. The solid sound of booted steps outside the entrance into the squad room had Janey watching warily, the sound eerily familiar. The door swung open and Janey froze as three figures moved through the doorway into the room. The first figure was so riveting Janey could not take her eyes away from him as he halted at the front desk. His head turned and her blue eyes met startling green ones. Suddenly those intense eyes were all she saw as everything else receded around her. She trembled slightly, her small movement breaking the connection between them and a soft gasp came from her as Ren turned away from the desk and took a step towards her.

The captain quickly assessed the situation and started calling men for assistance, "Saunders! Saunders get the hell out here now! Ashton! Blake! Franks! Jacobson! Here now!"

The voice sounded distant and didn't really register with Janey as she watched the corner of a full sensual mouth turned up in a half smile. She heard the rush of movement but it made no impression on her as she gazed at the familiar face.

"Is it memories triggered by the picture in the magazine?" She wondered, "Is my mind playing tricks?" Confusion reigned as memories seemed to blend with reality. She could almost even smell his spicy aftershave.

Janey screamed as she was grabbed from behind and dragged backwards. Finally eye contact was broken and Janey began struggling against the strong arms that held her. She saw a blur of movement in front of her just as she was turned away and she desperately turned her head to see what was going on.

"Let me go! Let me go! I don't want this! I don't want this! Let me go, just please let me go!" Janey screamed in her own private hell as memories crowded into her mind and became confused with the reality of now.

"Janey, Janey, it's okay. It's okay, they can't hurt you." The voice near her head had no meaning for Janey as she sobbed and struggled.

"Get the fuck off her you mongrel!" Ren yelled as he saw Sky being manhandled.

Janey was sobbing almost hysterically as she turned towards Ren's voice. "Please let me go, why can't you just let me go?" she sobbed as she struggled against the arms holding her.

"Sky! It's all right! I'm here to turn myself in. It'll be alright!" Ren yelled as he realised in her fear she was turning to him for protection like before.

In the jumble of memories fighting with reality Janey's mind clung to the one thing it knew it could trust, that voice and those eyes.

Adam felt Janey finally stop struggling and he managed to turn her away from the sight of the two men being physically restrained on the floor of the squad room and the woman who had come in with them being forcibly held away from the scene of the struggle.

"Get her in your office now Saunders!" Adam heard his commanding officer yell and he pulled a barely struggling Janey back to his office and shut the door after them.

"It's alright Janey, they can't hurt you. You're safe here, you're safe.' Adam crooned softly as he cradled her against his chest. He could feel the shudders that ran through her body, and gently he began to stroke her back to calm her trembling.

"What the hell is she doing still here?" Adam's commanding officer demanded as he barged into the room.

Janey gasped and jerked out of Adam's arms. She stumbled away from him hurriedly and turned away as she fought for control of her emotions.

"They're early! I planned to be out of here at least three-quarters of an hour before they were due to turn up!" Adam said as he watched Janey worriedly.

"What is happening?" Janey asked thickly as she turned towards Adam and his boss. She had both arms crossed against her body and she held herself tightly but her trembling was now under control as was her tears.

"There is nothing for you to worry yourself about Miss, you are perfectly safe here," the commanding officer said in an attempt to reassure her.

"What are they doing out there? What is going on?" Janey pressed.

"They are being placed under arrest and charges will be laid against them. They will be held responsible for their part in your ordeal," the older man explained.

Janey turned to Adam and pressed her face against his chest. She felt his arms tighten around her and tried to tell herself how comforting they felt. She tried to close her mind to thoughts of another person who made her feel safe by just being around.

"As soon as the coast is clear I am taking her out of here," Adam said to his superior.

The older man nodded and glanced at Janey were she was once again visibly trembling in Adam's arms. "I'll go hurry things along."

"Janey, do you think you will be able to walk out to my car in a few minutes?" Adam asked softly. He felt the slight movement as Janey nodded against his chest.

Several minutes later there was a faint knock at the door and Adam led Janey from the room. She looked around the squad room quickly but there was no sign of the two male figures from before. She allowed Adam to guide her through the room quickly and then out into the hallway.

"Janey, I'm sorry about grabbing you like that but it was the quickest way to get you to safety." Adam tried to explain as he led her along the hallway.

Janey stopped and Adam went several steps without her before he realised she had stopped. "Don't grab me like that! Don't ever grab me like that! Did you stop to think what being grabbed would feel like to me? Did you stop and wonder what thoughts would rush through my head?" Janey demanded, her voice shaking with suppressed emotion. "They were the ones who protected me as much as they could! Do you think I knew it was you who had hold of me?" Janey yelled and then ran past him towards the elevator.

* * * * *

Janey sat curled up in the recliner chair in Adam's flat. They had gone to the flat from the police station over two hours ago and since then Janey had huddled in the chair uncommunicative.

Deciding to try to force her to break her silence Adam made her a cup of tea and a plate of sandwiches and carried them over to her. He placed them on the floor beside her and adjusted the chair so that she was sitting up once again not reclining back.

Janey came out of her half doze and looked around startled; Adam squatted beside where she sat in the chair.

Adam picked up a cup of tea from beside her chair and pressed it into her hands before picking up the plate of sandwiches and placing it on her lap. "Eat up. You need to look after yourself for the baby's sake," he told her gruffly and sat on the end of the lounge nearest her. "Feel a bit better now?" he asked quietly.

"I'm okay," Janey said flatly.

"You don't sound so great," Adam said with concern.

"I want to go home," Janey said dully.

"Janey, you have two days of counselling left. You had been saying how important it is for you," Adam reminded her gently.

"I don't want to be here. I don't want to be here," Janey said as she shook her head.

"You don't want to be here in this flat with me? Is that it? I can sleep out here on the lounge," Adam told her.

Janey looked towards him miserably, "It's not that, it's not us, it's ... it's... oh! I can't explain!" she said tearfully as she turned her face away.

"Let me guess. It's what happened today. Those two being arrested and you seeing it; you knew it was going to happen but it didn't really seem real, like it wouldn't happen. Not like that," Adam said softly.

Janey turned a tear-streaked face towards him. "Why arrest them? They helped me, one of them even bought me my tickets home!" she protested.

"But they never stopped the others raping you, and how long did it take to buy you a ticket home? Over four weeks!" Adam said forcing himself to remain calm despite his anger.

Janey looked at Adam and knew it was useless trying to explain how things had been; no matter what he would find something he believed they had done wrong. Defeated she lowered her head and let the tears fall freely.

Feeling helpless Adam reached over and rubbed her back gently. He had watched families go through many varied reactions but he had never watched anyone he cared about go through the process before. "It'll be all right, everything will work out; you'll see." He tried to reassure her.

A loud knock at the door interrupted what Adam was going to add and he got to his feet reluctantly to answer the door. He opened the front door and was startled to find Robby on his doorstep.

"I just got a concerned call from your boss. How is she?" Robby demanded as he walked past Adam and headed into the flat. He hesitated when he caught sight of his sister sitting in the chair crying, then he walked over to her. He took the plate and cup, put them aside and pulled Janey up into a hug.