Shining Girl Ch. 04

The going got steadily worse, the Jeep skidding and slewing in the slippery new snow piling up ahead of us until Harry finally shook his head and stopped, cranked the car into neutral and engaged the 4WD, before starting up again and putting her into gear. The car immediately lightened as the 4-wheel drive engaged, and Harry looked back over his shoulder to grin at me

"You know, Jack, I was going to buy a Bronco, but it had manual hubs, so right now, you and I'd be out in that, trying like buggery to rotate the free-wheel hubs to lock them! Thank you Chrysler for Shift-On-The-Fly!"

I had to grin, he seemed so happy, although I hadn't a clue what he was talking about. But whatever the difference was between this 'Bronco' and the Jeep we were in, at least now we weren't skidding and sliding, the car seemed sure-footed again, and we were actually making some headway against the weather conditions. Teruko was looking sleepy, so I undid her seatbelt and urged her to lie down on the seat, taking her jacket off and wadding it up as a pillow for her on my lap, and covering her with my warm Barbour jacket. As she lay down, she slipped her hand under my thigh, holding herself against me on the seat.

"Thank you husband, I sleep for little while, wake me, please, when we get home?"

I stroked her hair, enjoying the feel of the silky strands, and she smiled at me, yawned and sighed, and fell asleep almost immediately. The car was warm, and I was unoccupied, there was no scenery to see, just snow falling in the dark and the lights of cars going the other way, and I must have fallen asleep myself, lulled by the muted growl of the Chrysler V6 up front, because the next thing I knew the car was cornering, shaking me enough to wake me up. I looked blurrily out the window, seeing street lights and houses, traffic, and no sign of snow. Sai Fong looked back at me, smiling.

"Welcome back, Jack, you've been out like a light for three hours! Nearly there, we're just at Frankwell, so two minutes and we'll be back at your place. You might want to wake Teruko up...?"

I took the hint, and kissed Teruko on her ear, making her smile as her eyes fluttered open.

"Wake up, little sister, we're nearly there!" I breathed into her ear, and she turned to look at me, smiling.

"Thank you for let me sleep, Onii-san, it very nice to sleep next to you, you are very warm, most comfortable!"

She sat up, yawning and stretching, the sight of her thrusting breasts as she stretched making my cock stir in my jeans, and shrugged her snow jacket back on just as we turned into Kennedy Road, where Teruko told me I had grown up. None of it looked familiar, nor did the high-walled series of buildings and rolling ground I could see. I asked Teruko what that was, and she looked sadly at me.

"That where you go to school, Onii-san, it where you play rugby for school, and for county, you love rugby more than anything, you still not remember?"

I drew a complete blank; nothing here was familiar, nothing was giving me any flashes or images. As I stared out the window, Harry pulled into the drive of a large detached house, light flooding out as a door was suddenly opened and a figure stood silhouetted there.

Teruko was opening the door even before the car came to a halt, flinging herself into the arms of the tall woman who stood there, my mother, a large dog by her side with its tail wagging hysterically at the sight of Teruko. Sai Fong joined her, my mother hugging her as well, while Harry helped me bring our stuff in, spits of snow beginning as we walked to the door.

My mother smiled at me, and I saw fleetingly my resemblance to her, my eyes looking back at me from her, then haltingly, tentatively, she hugged me, almost as if she was afraid of me; and she was, but not of me; she was afraid I would reject her, that I would resent a stranger being so familiar with me. Teruko was watching me hopefully as my mother and I embraced, waiting for a sign that something had changed. But I had no sudden flash of returning memory; I still didn't know this woman, and it must have shown in my eyes.

The look of hope faded, to be replaced by one of disappointment, and a momentary sadness, before she smiled again, pleased that at least I hadn't pulled away, hadn't rejected her out of hand. I went to pet the dog, a large, muscular-looking black Labrador, but he backed away from me, tail low and rigid, a warning growl rumbling in his chest. Teruko looked shocked.

"Senshi, no! This Jakku-san, you know Jakku-san, what wrong with you? Bad dog!" The dog looked at her and whined unhappily, backing up against her legs to place himself between us, his hackles still raised and threatening, obviously not at all happy about me being there.

"I sorry, Jakku-san, not know why he do that, he bad dog!" At her feet, the dog whined again at the tone of her voice, but refused to sit or leave her side.

While this by-play was going on, Harry dragged in the suitcase from the porch and put the flight bag down, my mother smiling at him.

"You must be tired after that long drive, Harry! Please, stay for dinner, you're both very welcome, you know that!"

Harry grinned his thanks at her.

"Thank you, Mrs. C, that's very kind of you but we really have to be going; Dad's expecting us, and the snow's coming on; it's a 25-mile drive home, so we really need to get a move on!"

She hugged him, and then Sai Fong again, then waited while they clambered back into the Jeep. Harry started the engine then wound down the window.

"See you in the morning, Jack, weather permitting! The girls want to go shopping in Telford, so we'll be here early. See you then!"

He wound the window back up and backed out onto the road, turned, and was gone. Mother shut the door and ushered us into a large, comfortable sitting room with big, soft couches and armchairs, and a large fire burning in the hearth. She had to take the dog by his collar, though, and drag him into the other room, as he wasn't happy about me being anywhere near Teruko, his growl a continuous threatening rumble in his throat, the kind of growl that ended in someone's throat...

Teruko was at a loss to explain it; the dog's behaviour had unnerved her, and she took pains to reassure me that he was never aggressive and must be unwell, that was the only possible explanation. Mother came back and sat down, asking me about the drive up, if I was comfortable, if I'd like a hot drink, small talk and pleasantries, doing her best to put me at my ease, bless her, but it wasn't necessary; this room was somehow immensely comforting, and I already felt at ease. I leaned back into the couch, following my mother's injunction to 'relax, don't be so formal, this is your home, you know!', and found that I did indeed feel at home. Teruko snugged herself up against me on the couch; she'd removed her salopettes, and was wearing a short, knitted sweater dress that she must have had on underneath the whole time; it was tight and very brief, barely covering her bottom. She sat with her legs folded and her delicate little feet tucked underneath herself, resting her head on my shoulder, leaving me to admire her sexy knees and long, shapely thighs.

After chatting for a few more minutes, mother excused herself, Teruko following her, to get dinner on the table while I sat and looked around the room, examining somewhere that had once meant so much to me, but was now completely unfamiliar, not even one of those little twinges of memory I was becoming so used to hinting that I had been here before, that this was where I was from. I was still gazing around when the door, into the dining room, I assumed, opened and Teruko popped her head in.

"Please to come, Jakku-san, dinner ready now," although the delicious smell had already alerted me. Teruko directed me to the cloakroom to wash my hands, and I followed her to the dining room. Mother had cooked what she assured me had been my favourite, Cottage Pie, and it smelled wonderful, and suddenly, now , here were those little twinges of memory, telling me that I had indeed eaten this before, here, cooked by her. Someone once said that smell is the most evocative of all the senses, that a single smell can recall a whole lifetime of experiences; I can attest to the truth of that; nothing here had seemed familiar, but now, the smell and taste of my mother's cooking were flicking switches I wasn't aware I had, and now that sense of home was growing, that feeling of near-familiarity, stronger and with more associations than déjà-vu, the feeling of recall tantalisingly out of reach, but near enough to sense and feel the reality of it; these were not phantom memories or fantasies; this was me, still buried deep down, but awakening, I was sure.

The meal was fabulous, hot and savoury and delicious, and all the way through it I was remembering those aromas, the tastes and textures, the other associations crowding closer and closer, almost, almost, bursting through. I now had no doubt that this was my home; every sense I had was screaming at me 'you know this place, you've been here before, you've done this, you've sat here before, this is yours, this is your home!'

Everywhere I looked, almost-memories pushed at me, things catching my eyes and beckoning me, pleading with me, shouting at me, shouting 'look at me, Jack, remember me, you know me, Jack, it's me, remember me, try, jack, try!'

It was getting harder and harder to concentrate on eating; whatever was happening in my head was too deafening, too much was trying to happen, overload was setting-in, making me dizzy as I spun and reeled in the midst of a chaotic swirl of the almost-familiar. I stopped eating to rest my head in my hand, a pounding wave of dizziness making the room waver, and suddenly my mother was there, her hands soft on me, hands I could almost recall, the feel of them warm and reassuring; she was my mother, this was my home, I belonged here...

In the distance, from wherever he was confined, the dog began barking, a continuous high-pitched excited belling as he gave voice, something disturbing him, his clamour adding to the pounding inside my head. I was only hearing him with one corner of my mind; everything else was being swamped by waves of something like, and yet somehow completely different to, déjà-vu, my head swimming as my brain tried to cope with the sensory overload. A blizzard of half-remembered feelings and blurred images was unreeling relentlessly in no sense or order, a meaningless jumble of fragments, but an avalanche of them, blotting-out the room as they roared into me.

"Jack, darling, what is it; you've gone pale, are you alright? Jack, what's wrong?" The concern in her voice sent another jolt through me, another tumult of almost-memories making my head spin again, making me groan as the room orbited around me. My stomach lurched, teetering on the edge of violent nausea for a second, before backing down again as a fresh wave of dizziness flooded through me.

"Teruko, get his jacket! Jack, I'm putting your jacket on you, try and help me here, we have to get you to Accident and Emergency, can you stand up?"

"No, no more hospitals, please!" I managed to gasp out. "I just need to lie down, must be tired, please, just let me lie down!"

Somehow, and I have no clear notion how, my mother and Teruko managed to get me up that one short flight of steps and into the bedroom at the top of the stairs; I felt gentle hands unbuttoning my jeans and pulling my snow-boots off, and the covers being pulled up over me, the room spinning and gently revolving around me as whatever was happening to me ran its course. I tried shutting my eyes, but it didn't help. I tried focussing on one thing in the room, something to fix my attention in an attempt to brake the spinning room, and an oblong plaque on the dresser caught my eye. It was a ceramic ornament of some sort, but even as I stared at it, I could feel more prickles of memory popping and fizzing like microscopic bubbles against the surface of my mind, as it too began to shout at me, demanding that I recognise it; and I did, in a shock so profound that the room slammed to a halt as I saw Teruko give me that plaque, and once again heard her read it to me, mother, and an elderly man, my grandfather, there in the room, dancing firelight, the smell of pine needles and...and...

I woke with a start in my bed, and glanced at my dresser clock; almost 2 a.m. and I was starving. Teruko was lying next to me, deeply asleep, wrapped in my bathrobe and thick fluffy slippers on her feet, so I eased out of bed and slid my jeans on, wondering why my snow-boots were next to the bed, why my jeans were so loose and having to pull my belt in another notch past the usual buckle-hole, and briefly, why the dog was lying across the door; usually, if Teruko fell asleep in my room, or anywhere in the house, for that matter, Senshi would be found stretched out snoring on the floor right next to her; he was never more than a couple of feet from her, but now he was all the way across the room, lying like one of Landseer's lions in Trafalgar square, in the classic 'couchant' position, on his stomach, paws stretched out in front of him, his head up and watching me closely. Odd, I thought, and then dismissed the thought as my stomach rumbled again. I slipped on a pair of loafers and a sweater, and made my way downstairs to the kitchen, Senshi watching me and making no effort to move out of the way, forcing me to step over him.

When I looked in the fridge, oh joy, mum had made Cottage Pie, my favourite, so I spooned some onto a plate and popped it into the microwave, then wandered into the living room to wait while it heated-up. I sat down and picked up the TV remote, Senshi suddenly appearing from nowhere to jump up on the sofa and huff gently at my neck, looking for a share of my snack, no doubt. For some reason, he seemed intensely interested in me; normally, once he'd figured out I had no snacks for him, he buggered off back to wherever Teruko was, as I was no longer important enough for his attention. He was a one-woman dog, and yet now he was all over me, sniffing and nipping at me, licking my face, which I hate (only one person on this entire planet gets to lick my face, and he didn't look anything like her...), and sticking his nose in my ear. I kept pushing him away, but for some reason he'd suddenly decided I was irresistible; mum had one unbreakable rule; chairs are for humans, and dogs belong on the floor, and if she'd seen this idiot dog trampling all over her couch there would be things said, I knew that for a fact.

"Down boy, down!" I shouted softly, anxious not to wake everyone else, but Senshi wasn't having any of it, he was excited about something, and he wanted me to share in it with him. Eventually I gave up, unable to push him off the couch: it's quite difficult to budge an 80lb Labrador when he doesn't want to be budged, so I settled for clamping his head under my arm to stop his incessant attempts to lick my face.

I flicked on the TV and the satellite box, and turned to the news channel, to watch in puzzlement and growing alarm as weather reports started talking about blizzard conditions in the Midlands and across the Oxfordshire plain, road closures, downed power lines; in June? What the hell was going on?

And then that damned dog decided to start barking at me, his 'play' bark, the one he uses when he and Teruko are outside with a tennis ball and his squeaky rubber chicken, a huffing, breathy bark, high-pitched and attention-seeking, his tail going like a propeller as he barked happily at me.

I wrestled with him, trying to grab his snout and clamp his mouth shut, confident that he wouldn't bite me, he wasn't that kind of dog, and finally succeeding, hopefully before mum or Teruko heard him and came to see what was going on.

I picked up the remote to turn the volume down even lower, and my eye caught the date at the bottom of the screen. I froze in disbelief, the pit of my stomach dropping away as though I'd swooped down a fairground slide; December 21st, not June, not summer at all. I dropped the remote in shock, staring at the screen, knowing it couldn't possibly be right, but the evidence of my eyes was irrefutable; it was there on screen; news reports, pictures, and that shocking date at the foot of the screen impossible to argue with. Where the hell had six months gone, where the fuck had I been, what was going on?

Answers, I needed answers, mum would know, she'd tell me. I ran upstairs, the dog racing after me, my hunger forgotten, to knock, and knock again at my mother's bedroom door. I guess I knocked louder than I knew, because suddenly Teruko was there was well, looking sleepy, and rumpled, and delicious. Mum opened her door and saw the look on my face.

"Jack, what's the matter, what happened, how are you feeling, is something wrong?"

I was nearly gibbering with panic now, trying to make things come out right in my head.

"Mum, what happened to me, where's six months gone, why don't I remember them, what's going on?"

Mum had started when called her 'mum', a strange look in her eyes as she looked closely at me.

"Jack, you...you know who am, don't you?" she whispered, and I nodded.

"Of course I know who you are, what kind of question is that? Tell me, mum, please, what's going on, where's the year gone, why is it nearly Christmas, why don't I remember anything, how did I get here?"

Mum was crying, as was Teruko, and no-one was answering my questions, until she took my hand and led me into her bedroom, sitting me down on her bed. She kept hold of my hand as she sat next to me.

"Jack, what's the last thing you remember?"

I looked at her sideways; what was she on about now?

"That's easy, mum, Teruko and I were planning on having Harry and Sai Fong over for dinner...so how did we get here? I don't remember driving up here at all! What...?"

Mum squeezed my hand so hard it hurt.

"Jack, you've been...sick, since June. Harry brought you home yesterday, both of you, to spend some time with me. How much do you remember, of anything? What's the last thing you remember, seriously?"

I had to think for a few seconds.

"Going shopping in Lewisham, I parked-up behind the Matalan store, and we took a short-cut through the Docklands Light Railway station. Harry and Sai Fong were coming to dinner and...and that's all I remember. What happened to me, how did I get sick? Why can't I remember anything else? Tell me, please!"

Mum looked away, her lip trembling, picking her words carefully.

"Darling, you were...mugged, in Lewisham Station, the boy had a gun, you tried to get to Teruko, and...and, he...shot you...oh Jack, we thought we'd lost you, it was so bad, you lost so much blood, they got you to hospital in time, but the damage...the bullet...!"

She was crying again, obviously deeply distressed, her grip on my hand like iron. I could only sag in shock; I'd been shot? Why was I still alive, HOW was I still alive, if that were true? My total shock and confusion must have shown on my face, mum taking my face between her hands to look into my eyes and speak slowly, calmly as I flinched in shocked reaction.

"Darling, you were in a coma, in hospital in London, since June; Teruko stayed with you the whole time, six months day and night. You finally woke up almost two weeks ago, but you had amnesia, almost total retrograde amnesia, they called it; you didn't know me, Teruko, Harry, anybody, nothing about your life, your job, nothing; it was like losing you again...! Harry brought you home hoping that this would happen, that you'd remember us, everything..." She paused to wipe her eyes.

"This evening, at dinner, you got sick, confused, we put you to bed, do you remember any of that?"

I shook my head numbly, too stunned to think coherently.