Shut The Fuck Up and Listen!

Shut the Fuck Up and Listen! The title sounds a little harsh and maybe I'm half-joking but maybe not. Before casting stones and making judgments, stick around for awhile and try to remember the theme is freedom of speech, open debate of issues and don't label people. I'm saying this now because I won't remember as I write off the top of my head-there you go, fair warning!

Back when I was still an American citizen, prior to November, 2004, I had written and submitted a piece to this site about the USA PATRIOT ACT. It was one of those non-erotic things not many people take a look at on this site titled Congress Shall Make No Law. I wrote warning of the perils of this new law and how it infringed upon the constitutionally protected rights of all Americans. I remember alluding to some dead guy by the name of Benny Franklin turning over in his grave because of some nonsense he said about those willing to give up liberty for the sake of security deserved neither. You see, the fat man said some interesting stuff when he wasn't standing out in the rain flying kites proving to future generations you can get pretty damn wet in a thunderstorm.

My first thought before passage of such a patriotic sounding acronym for a law was that no right thinking American could oppose it. After it became the law of the land, I wondered how the fuck something like this could pass. Well, it wasn't difficult given the climate of the time and the fact no one in Congress really read the late night bill. The thing met with as much resistance as ramming 535 toothpicks up a rhino's ass. Now later on, when the summary came out, it became clear it had the potentially chilling effect of stifling free speech and associated freedoms, like the corollary right to hear and/or know-pretty important ones really. Kinda bad shit when you think about it, but I don't know, no one seems to care all that much. I don't know if it spearheaded the clash taking place between liberals and conservatives. I'm thinking not. That battle has been waged and has been raging forever. Besides, I was a little late submitting it-like maybe a couple hundred years. I mean, this wasn't the first time the government pulled this stuff.

The brother of the old brewmaster, Sam Adams, presided over the Alien & Sedition Acts and later, President with the big Wood would sign The Espionage Act around the time of World War I and FDR would get together with his tranny head of the FBI, J. Edgar Let-me-suck-you-dry-like-a-Vacuum, to try the same shit around World War II. Any real differences-who knows, I doubt anybody read those either. Is there a point? Well, it seems the pols have been "poling" the citizenry for more than 200 years now and I guess a war is the best time to do it this stuff. We've survived but of late it seems a new phenomena has come out of the woodwork. I call it intolerance of ideas, but I'm not sure how that relates to speech yet and won't until I finish my rambling. Now tolerance doesn't mean you have to agree with someone's beliefs, but should respect each others' right to life, liberty and the pursuit and happiness no matter how fucky they are. Nice definition but it doesn't go to the heart of free speech. It may actually have the opposite effect by quieting discourse so as not to offend those of opposite opinions. I'm not sure, but that may be where a federal judge was coming from in a recent case when he talked about "viewpoint discrimination." I'm not sure what it means or where it came from, maybe in the 9th Amendment's penumbra of rights Justice Douglas talked about.

Ah yes folks, judicial activism runs both ways. It's not a liberal thing by any means. You think the good doctor Frist would be making waves right now if it wasn't believed there may be a conservative judicial agenda, which should scare people of either ilk since it's the one branch of government that seems to have gotten out of the old checks and balances system built into the Constitution. Don't think for a minute Jefferson didn't understand this concept when Marbury v. Madison came out. Speaking of the Constitution and whether or not it's a living, breathing document or carved in the stone of late 18th century would be an interesting topic, but that's for another time I suspect. Laurel, see you in September!

What does seem clear is there is no middle ground anymore and no attempt to seek it. Even on Lit, it seems as though folks here scream about freedom of speech but what, many times it's about porn or shouting or putting people down for their views and thoughts. But Lit doesn't differ all that much from the government, churches and other institutions. Somehow free speech has become synonymous with yelling the loudest and saying the nastiest things even after the spin doctors clean it up. I mean, I never knew free speech was about George Carlin, before his heart blew up, and words like shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker and tits. I had this idea it was about something a little more important like debating and discussing ideas in some civil kinda way. Not that being able say to cocksucker isn't important. I mean really, take away that right and the slippery slope of restricted speech is so fuckin' evident. I mean really, what's next: "dorkblower!"

Of course we can blame the republicans and the far right radicals for this stuff. We have red states and blue states and I love the fact I live in Dumbfuckistan now. I guess the more tolerant, liberal folks exiled me there and they get to live in the United States of America even though California voted against gay marriage the same year. Go figure! Of course, that's just one map of the newly divided country I used to live in. The fact is, democrats and republicans, as far as I can see; they're really no different. God forbid, oops, you can tell I'm a Dumbfuckistani referencing God now...I oppose abortion and believe all people of my former country should be packing heat. I even bitch about illegal immigrants at times, except in restaurants when I want a water refill. Shoot me now Mr. Neas but please Mr. Moore, do a cool docucomedy about me before I die. Damn thing is, I'm pro-environment, believe there should be a national health care system and strongly oppose hunting. Uh oh, sorry Mr. Patty Robertson, I was just kidding-please don't send me to hell yet-at least not until Mike finishes his epic about my life.

So, republicans and democrats-piss on you both! George Carlin said that word is okay now by the way and that's good enough for me. Where are the damn libertarians when I need 'em? Really though, it wouldn't matter. Nothing would be different if it ever became a viable party. Power is strange thing and seems to consume, but at some point, when all you do is consume, the fire goes out, and maybe for the people, it has.

This is supposed to be about freedom of speech and the right to hear and listen and somehow the PATRIOT ACT gets involved. The republicans are said to have wanted this law but just about everybody voted for it. The democrats during the election weren't talking about getting rid of it, just tweaking it some. But sometimes when you tweak a nipple and it gets stimulated and more firm. On the other hand, it doesn't seem to matter. I never understood the arguments during the last presidential election. Oh, I knew Kerry had a plan for everything but couldn't articulate it and Bush-can we say that word Mr. Carlin-didn't seem to have a clue but at least he could somehow articulate his cluelessness with a blank stare. I guess maybe democrats were talking about giving up a little less liberty in exchange for a little less security and republicans were portrayed as wanting to take more liberty to provide more security and well, the bureaucrats; they were happy as hell either way.

Now the democrats, the party that touts Jefferson, the man that ran the first covert war against terrorism unbeknownst to anyone, at least at first are, interesting. Note: If you're into politically correct stuff-a bane to society-avert your eyes now. Uncle Jeff expanded federalism, a concept he was said to abhor, but then again, his war wasn't so bad. I mean at least some cool lyrics for the Marine hymn out the damn thing and it really is catchy tune. Of course this isn't about attacking Tommy J. He was the first spin doctor in my opinion calling his little adventure a "cruise" and when the world wouldn't unite behind him, he just said, "Fuck it, I'll do it myself!" Sounds kinda familiar doesn't it! Oh, he freed some slaves in the process, white ones, but slaves nonetheless.

So really, Uncle Tommy wasn't all that bad when he wasn't out fuckin' his slaves and stuff, not really. Maybe that last comment is a little harsh. He did free his slaves, but I think he waited until he didn't need 'em anymore, like in his Last Will & Testament or something. I think Uncle Tom understood the rule you can't fuck what you don't own, so he waited. Nothing should be read into this about the morals of the man. I think his wife was already dead so it's not like he was cheating on her or something. Anyway, I don't know if they still teach history in schools or not, but the guy who penned some of the Declaration of Independence really is alot like our current president. Well, except for maybe having slaves. Of course republicans should admire Uncky Tom too. After all, he was into states' rights and after he scammed the French on a land deal, he went to extremes taking advantage of the deal. Note: You don't have to avert your eyes anymore!

It's always instructive to take our "Founding Fathers" and pick and choose quotes they made to support every position from saying a prayer in a public school to global warming-NOT! Really though, it's pretty easy to do and maybe necessary since no one can seem to come up with a new, original thought choosing instead to rely on old shit and of course everyone knows if someone said it a couple hundred years or so ago, well, I mean, how do you argue against that kind of logic? Like my great-great-great-great grandpappy used to say...sounds a little Brett Maverick now doesn't it-boy that dates me!

But, all of this has been a rant so far. We live in a country where the exchange of ideas is supposed to be a good thing and I guess you can include the world in this. Actually, we should include the world here. Our own Supreme Court of the United States of Canada, okay, I'm still hung up one of the Dumbfuckistan maps, said recently in a ruling we should be looking at the laws and customs of other countries to interpret our own constitution and well, I mean we have people dying in Iraq for this right now, but then again, what the fuck is that all about?

Whether people want to admit it, we really do live in a polarized nation. We seem to hate ourselves and the world hates us but I say, fuck the United Nations and let's give 'em a taste of Bolton. Who knows, maybe it's not a bad idea, but I digress once again. It's supposed to be about a little thing called democracy and the marketplace of ideas and all that neat stuff they talked about in civics class. Of course I'm not sure they teach that anymore since the majority of high school kids feel there should be limits on the First Amendment. I don't know if that included the ones spending hours at a time instant messaging each other or not so maybe the survey was skewed. We're supposed to exchange ideas and challenge each other and somehow the best of the ideas kinda rise to the top. Yeah, the cream is supposed to rise to the top, but it ain't the only fuckin' thing that floats is it Mr. Carlin?!

Of course this require civility in our discourse and you know what, we just ain't got no fuckin' civility anymore. Maybe this doesn't sound to civil, but I don't care, I'm not really saying anything that's going to change any minds here, but more on that later. On civility though, maybe we never had it-don't know, I haven't been around forever.

Looking back, I'm thinking about 50 years ago a crazy senator ran around calling out every communist that never existed and scared the shit outta people. I'm kinda thinking Johnson and Nixon weren't all that honest about Vietnam and other stuff and if you didn't agree, well that little pantyhose wearing dude headin' up the FBI-well you had to deal with him and all he wanted to do was keep some kinda list like he was Santa in red silk stockings but only checking his list once keeping track of everyone that was naughty. That kinda ranged from everything including the Red Scare to whether red nail polish looked good with his garter belt or something like that, not to mention civil rights activists. Carter was probably honest but he lusted in his heart and used a curse once during a campaign. I mean really, how do you respect a man like that? Reagan, well, there was alot of scandal there but it really came down to you're with us or against us-now there's a new theme never heard before or since. But Reagan was okay, I mean I think he invented teflon so give the guy some credit. Bushguy I, well, you could read his lips as he lied and Clinton wasn't about to win any awards for honesty, depending on how you define it course. He felt our pain though even if Monica never felt his spew against the back of her throat apparently. If she had worn a dress invented by Reagan there probably wouldn't have been an impeachment. We need more non-stick sweaters for big stick presidents-right Teddy Bear!

Now Bush II-who knows about him. He felt the PATRIOT ACT was important but appointed a dude that couldn't beat a dead guy in an election for the senate to handle this stuff. Now give Johnny some credit for trying to have the results thrown out because the dead guy was not an inhabitant of the state but come on, being buried sounds like the ultimate form of inhabitation to me. Now me personally, I don't like guys heading up anything that can't win an election against a dead guy. While that bothers me, it was the same old shit-if you opposed him, you couldn't be an American, unless of course you really were, but how to prove it?

I never thought we had to but maybe all you had to do was be like Annie or a coulterette, although I like couterette better. Actually, say what you want about her, but she looked damn hot in those short skirts she used to wear on television and I think Billy had the hots for her too. I'm not sure she ever had a message but then I was trapped in my own little wet dream as my eyes drifted up those long, slender, sensuous legs and...well, even her column is hard to follow as I flashback to those long, slender, sensuous legs and long blonde hair draping down over her shoulders and wondering about the...well, never mind, I think I already said something like that before. You can always listen to drugrush Limbaugh of course. Actually, I do sometimes for the entertainment. Make no mistake about it, they don't call it the "entertainment in broadcasting" network without a reason-oops, I guess that's "excellence" in broadcasting. Whatever, I still think it's entertaining!

It balances out though. I mean you can do those things everyday and learn to hate without reason but then you get a dose of fair and balanced hatred by tuning into a Michael Moore flick or clicking on to People for the American Way and hate without reason too. I guess it just depends on who you want to hate and if you're a Dumbfuckastani or not. Either way, both sides have polarized people which of course means no meaningful discussion of issues which then of course means no resolution of problems. Of course Jimmy D does it too but at least he tries making cogent arguments, or at least he uses a ton of footnotes in his 10 page Family letters. A word to the wise, footnotes always lend credibility to anything you write in life. I was going to footnote this but I forgot.

So somehow there are those that justify killing a doctor or blowing up a clinic because of their opposition to abortion and those that justify killing a scientist because someone is going to test some new shit on animals. So maybe the people opposing abortion should self-abort themselves and, given no difference between a pocket pet and people, PETA(that's a rather sinister middle-Eastern name isn't it?) should volunteer members for testing chemicals. Actually, I'm thinking we could use the bread people for stem cell research too! Now before you start thinking I'm a conservative and try to label me, let it be known I supported I supported Teddy in 1980 and if he had been able to swim, he may have won the damn election. So he lost the election but figured prominently in the national campaign against drinking and swimming. Just kidding! Being able to swim doesn't win elections, just ask Johnny Swiftboat!

I'm not sure about our future. It's in the hands of those that follow-that's why I'm not sure. Everything in this country is always about the fuckin' kids anyway you know, if you can pull the little beanbag brains away from a computer where their most meaningful exercise of speech is, "ru2k" or "nifoc," or some other rational discussion making it hard to learn shit or to have an original thought when you spend your time speaking in gibberish. Yep, the future of the First Amendment is fucked for sure. Well, unless you could rewrite it in computer slang, "N'aimean?!"

The First Amendment doesn't say you can't read the Bible in schools and teachers in a recent study actually agreed it was important to read it, which kinda surprised me. It doesn't get read because school administrators lack balls and then somehow kids fuck up the SAT! It isn't about state sanctioned religion, it's about education but then you may have to deal with the ACLU. It's amazing to me how the powerful of the proverbial pen can be when the letter says ACLU on it. Actually, I kinda like the ACLU at times. Contrary to popular belief, they have taken up so-called conservative causes before. Anyway, the dumbing down of America as it pertains to free speech doesn't end in high school. Colleges are not a bastion of freedom of speech either, unless you agree with them, but then that seems to be true of any institution or group. Speaking of the ACLU, does anybody here think the FBI or Department of Homeland Security is monitoring this shit?

Still, it's really all horseshit! I don't know that I've ever met a true conservative or liberal in my life. I've met people in real life that seem to swing both ways so to speak, depending on the particular issue. One recent case in point coming to mind is Jesse Jackson and James Dobson coming to an agreement on an issue recently. When Florida was in the midst of a water shortage, both of them felt a dying woman in Florida should be given water. Two men, diametrically opposed on many issues coming together on the right to a drink of water. It's a start! You want another case in point, how 'bout me?

I said some of this before, but I believe in concealed carry laws but oppose hunting. I strongly oppose terrorism but don't believe we should profile although in a very real way it does make some sense. I want cheap gas but, having grown fond of Alaska, oppose the destruction of the environment to get it. I have a disease that could benefit from genetic research but oppose pulling a new born child out and killing it by poking holes in it's head. I believe in social programs and believe the government should fund a national health care plan but I also believe the death penalty is okay. I hate any restrictions on the First Amendment of any kind but hate neo-Nazis and everything while believing they have the right to spew their shit. Personally, I get offended reading, "I HATE FUCKIN' JEWS!" I mean hell, I'd love to learn to play that little mouth harp they came up with to make us gentiles look foolish and I admire 'em for that.

Now youth in Asia, that's another matter and just a little joke to see if you're still paying attention. I could go on and on but really, what am I? A conservative? A liberal? I think I swing both ways on this crap which is kinda cool though since I belong to two swing clubs. Now, tell me somehow that isn't true freedom of _expression for you! Seriously though, can anyone really place a label on me? What I believe is I'm not alone in my mixed beliefs on various issues.