Shut Up And Drive!

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He didn't expect to see her there!
10.1k words
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Part 1 of the 4 part series

Updated 06/11/2023
Created 04/24/2014
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It's not often that I write in the third person; but here goes for a short tale that's been kicking around for a while now. A version of it has been available elsewhere for sometime. However, it would appear that I am no longer satisfied of writing very short stories and having read this through again; maybe I want to know more about these characters myself.

I thank OB and BW for their assistance in preparing the original version of this tale for posting.

*****

Ted saw her standing there the instant he entered the bar. It wasn't the most salubrious of places at the best of times; what's more, it was advertised as a 'Singles Bar!' i.e. usually it was usually full of 'chancers' there on the off-chance that they might get lucky! Indeed, why else had Ted himself chosen to frequent the establishment?

However, Ted had not expected that he'd ever see her in there!

She was standing by the bar giggling, with the little band of hopefuls who were pretty obviously plying her with alcohol, and had all-but surrounded her; protecting their prey from any interlopers.

Ted knew what they were up to; he'd seen the guys in action more than a few times in the past. What would most likely happen later, after they'd all left the bar together- as Ted suspected the guys were planning for that evening as well - Ted had never bothered to contemplate in the past.

But that particular evening was different. She was different. She... should not have been there! Not in that place, looking for a little... fun on the side. Not that Ted thought she was going to get much joy out of the evening; if those chancers got their way.

Ted stopped and exchanged a few words with the doorman, one of the bouncers who kept things under control as best they could. They ejected the more obnoxious customers and watched-out for anyone who was trying to take or deal-in... illegal substances within the establishment. The local police were a might touchy about that sort of behaviour.

The doorman listened to Ted attentively and then nodded and informed him that he'd pass the message on to the rest of his colleagues. Then Ted went over to the far end of the bar, away from where the woman thought that she was holding court.

Ted purchased a pint and then retreated to his usual dark corner to consume it. Several people - knowing his reputation - vacated his regular table as Ted approached.

Sitting there in the dim light Ted watched as she danced with every one of the guys who were... hunting her. He watched as the four of them subtly saw-off anyone else who tried to invite her to dance. And he watched as they plied her with more and more alcohol and wondered if they'd resort to anything else. She was leaving her drinks unattended on the bar after all, and the two barmen were far too busy to spot everything.

--

"Taking it easy tonight, Ted?" One of the bar staff commented as he came around collecting empties.

The bar staff had noticed that he had been nursing the same pint since he'd arrived; not usual behaviour for Ted.

"Yeah, the brunette bird with those tossers at the end of the bar; I wanna make sure she gets home in one piece."

"Not like you, Ted. Someone special, is she?"

"You could say she was. A very long time ago!"

"Classy bitch, don't know what she's doing in here! If you don't mind me saying, a bit out of your..."

"Yeah, she was... and she still is! Nothing ever became of it; I just can't figure-out what the Christ she's doing in this dump!"

"Looking for a bit on the side maybe? You know what some of these toffee-nosed birds are like?"

"Well, she'll get more than she's bargained for with those buggers!"

"So, are you going to play knight errant, Ted? Or are you intending to take advantage of the situation?"

Ted had glowered at the barman as he'd completed his sentence. Realising that he might have overstepped the mark some; the guy withdrew to the safety of his bar.

Around eleven-thirty she began to look decided unsteady on her feet, and a couple of the chancers appeared to trying to persuade her to leave. But she was having fun, gyrating around the small dance floor, so she refused... loudly!

But by twelve she was staggering, and from what Ted could make out, she'd decided herself that she'd better start thinking about leaving. However her newfound friends convinced her that another drink for the road, wouldn't do any harm.

It was as two of the chancers were assisting the woman through the door that Ted made his move. Several (large) members of the door staff - backed-up by two police officers standing near-by - had blocked their path just outside.

Ted, elbowed his way in amongst the chancers' and then swept the - by that time - almost unconscious woman into his arms.

"'Ere, what's your bleeding game?" One of the chancers demanded.

"Just taking the lady home lads; just taking the lady home!"

"Well, wha'd'ya think we wuz doing?"

"I don't know lads. But if that is the case; tell me, what's the ladies name and where does she live?"

"Stella! And if you know so bloody much, why don't you tell us where she lives?" The chancer replied.

"Her name gentlemen, is Estelle Cooper... Mrs... and I'm sure... when she's sober, she'd prefer it if the likes of you guys, didn't know where she lives!"

Ted's reply had been for the benefit of the two police officers, which were by then showing a marked interest in the confrontation.

A nod from one of the door staff caused the officers to take more interest in the chancers' than in Ted. The four guys hurriedly decided to disperse, once their names had been requested and dutifully noted down in the officers' notebooks.

The police officers had no need to ask Ted's name. His younger days had left him a little more notorious locally, than he'd have preferred to be.

Assisted by one of the door staff, Ted loaded the semi-comatose, but still babbling Estelle onto the backseat of his car.

"Are you taking her home, Ted?" One of the police officers enquired. "She don't look too clever!"

"I was going to. But going by the state of her; the General for a session with old stomach pump, might be favourite!"

"My thoughts exactly. I'll give them a call on the radio; let them know that you're coming."

"Cheers officer." Ted replied. Then he climbed into the driver's seat and set off towards the hospital.

-

"Has she taken anything?" The emergency doctor asked, pulling Estelle's eyelids open so he could look at size of her pupils.

"Too much bleeding jungle juice for a start, Doc. But I wouldn't put it past those wankers she was drinking with, to have slipped her something on the quiet. They definitely thought they were gong to get lucky this evening; if you get my drift?"

"In this condition; that would be tantamount to rape!"

"Makes no difference to those tossers Doc; you know that as well as I do! She'd wake up tomorrow dumped somewhere; with a headache, a sore fanny, and have little recollection of how she got either."

"So where do you fit into the equation Teddy? Not quite your style carrying maidens in distress, in here."

"We have history, sort-of, Doc. Not great history I have to admit; but history of sorts all the same. I always knew I'd be the guy from the wrong side of the tracks as far as Estelle and her family were concerned; so I worshipped her from afar."

"Ah, I see; daddy would not have approved?"

"You got it doc. And I doubt Estelle would have, either!"

"But she's married though, she's wearing a ring. Where's her husband this evening?"

"Buggered if I know Doc. He weren't in that pub anyway. A bit careless of him really; I wouldn't let a looker like Estelle out of my sight."

"Well, we'd better get her stomach cleared out; stop anymore alcohol getting into her system. Are you going to call her husband, or shall I?"

"I think it better if neither of us do, Doc! How's she going to explain the state she's in to him? I've got no idea where she lives anyway. Although I do recall she married some geezer by the name of Cooper.

"She has no handbag or anything; that might have some information in it?"

"Not that I'm aware of, Doc!"

"All right. She's drunk and incapable, we can do what's necessary to preserve her health, without written consent."

I'll leave you to it the Doc. I've had my stomach pumped a few times, and I don't think I'd care to witness the procedure carried out on anyone else."

"You're not leaving, Ted?"

"No, I'll be outside polluting the atmosphere and removing some unsightly evidence of her presence from my car. If you get one of your nurses to give me a yell when the messy bits over; I'll sit by her bed until she wakes-up. Well, she'll have to get home eventually, won't she?"

-

Estelle struggled to open her eyes. Her head felt worse than she could ever recall it feeling before and she had no idea where she was.

The ceiling though, once she focused on it, did seem very familiar. "I'm in hospital!" She eventfully whispered to herself, "How did I get here?"

"I brought you here. You were as pissed as a fart last night!" A voice said from off to her right.

Estelle slowly turned her head to look at who'd spoken. There sat some stranger, maybe thirty or so years old, she thought.

"Do I know you?" She asked.

"No Stella, doubt you do. But I know you; and you were keeping some real unsavoury company last evening. I had to wait until you passed-out before I could..."

"Could do what?" Estelle demanded.

"Well Stella. I somehow I didn't think that pulling a train was quite your style. So I interrupted the wankers' plans; stepped-in and brought you here to have your stomach flushed out. You were pissed out of your skull; you silly cow! What were you doing in a place like that anyway?"

"Pulling a train?" Estelle repeated, not comprehending the metaphor.

"Four frustrated perverts taking turns with one female, Estelle. The Yanks call that pulling a train. I suppose those guys figured that you'd be the engine that would keep them all going, if you get my drift? Where I come from, we'd call it a bike relay; as in village bike! Christ, if you were looking for a bit on the side, girl; you could have done better than that bunch of wankers!"

"How dare you impute that I'd do anything like that? Who do you think you think you...? Estelle began to say; but as she spoke, she instantly got that déjà vu feeling.

The guys face was familiar and she could vaguely recall saying almost the same words to him sometime in the distant past. The circumstance she could not recall though. However, Estelle had been famously adept at seeing-off unsuitable prospective suitors in her younger days.

"God, I know you, don't I? You were at college weren't you? Ted Something-or-the-other; always getting into trouble on that motorcycle of yours!"

"Yeah, that's me Stella; Ted Something-or-the-other! I never did fit in with your high and mighty circle, did I?"

"Oh God, I'm sorry, but I just can't recall your name. I suppose that I should be grateful that you brought me here."

"Yeah, I suppose... you should!"

"Oh Christ, I'm sorry; I'm so confused. That didn't come out as I intended. Look Ted, I'm truly grateful that you did bring me here last night. Um, where did you... er...?"

"Find you?" Ted suggested.

Estelle smiled weakly and nodded.

"In the singles bar, up behind the station. Bit of a dive for you Estelle! What the hell were you doing in there?"

But before Estella could answer Ted's question, the doctor arrived to check on her over before he went off-duty.

"Ah, our patient's awake I see. How's the head young lady?"

"Not good doctor. My stomach hurts as well!"

"That's from all the throwing-up you were doing. Didn't exactly save you from the dreaded stomach pump though, we had to flush you out a bit. You know you're a very lucky girl; Ted here saved you from a fate that some women would consider worse than death last night. God alone knows where you'd have finished up without him." The doctor said as he examined Estelle's eyes again.

Estelle looked across at Ted, who suddenly was looking very embarrassed as the doctor began to address him.

"We've sent those blood samples of Estelle's down, Ted. We don't think they'll find anything except excessive alcohol. But if they come up with anything that shouldn't be there, then the results will be passed on to the police. You did say that they got those guys names didn't you?"

"No!" Ted replied.

"Oh, the officer must have told me then; he popped in while you were both asleep. I couldn't see much point in waking either of you. I think he was really here to check that Estelle had arrived safely."

"I might have guessed it!" Ted exclaimed, "Do someone a good turn, and the coppers are looking to pin something on me."

"Nothing of the kind, Ted! The police officer was just doing his duty in ensuring Estelle had arrived here safely. He praised your actions actually. He said that you saw something suspicious happening and acted accordingly. What's more you brought Estelle straight here when a taxi driver or something, might have dumped her anywhere, after she'd thrown-up in his cab like that.

"Apparently he went past earlier, when you were cleaning your car up. He thought he'd leave it until you were finished."

"Kind of him. He could have helped!"

"Come on Ted; you know that no good turn goes unpunished! Hey, maybe you should have left it until this morning when Estelle could have helped you. It might teach her to be a little more conservative in her alcohol consumption in future."

"I was sick in your car! Oh, how embarrassing; I'm so sorry Ted!"

"Stella throwing up in my car ain't the half of it, you should have seen yourself last evening. I'm sure daddy would have disowned you! Just what were you doing in that dive, anyway?"

Estelle looked from Ted across to the equally curious doctor.

"Actually I was hoping to surprise my husband last evening. I've been told that he goes in there quite often with his latest slut. Obviously they didn't show last night and I hung around for too long."

"Much too long Mrs Cooper. Anyway I think that it's safe for Ted to run you home now. Just don't be alone for the next few hours or so, and for God's sake don't drive until tomorrow at the earliest. You're still technically drunk; well over the drink drive limit anyway!"

"Thank you doctor. From the way my head feels, I don't think alcohol will ever pass my lips again."

"That's not the first time I've heard a patient say that on a Sunday morning Mrs Cooper, and I doubt it will be the last! Regretfully it's usually the same patients repeating themselves every few weeks. I'll send the nurse in with your clothes."

The doctor left and a few minutes later a nurse appeared around the edge of the curtain screen carrying Estelle's clothes. As she did so, Ted stood to make his way out of the cubical. But as the two passed each other they exchanged smiles and nurse planted a brief but familiar peck on Ted's cheek."

"We've done what we can, but your dress Stella, it still has traces of vomit on it. Teddy suggested that you might prefer to wear this. At least it doesn't smell!" The nurse said to Estelle, after closing the curtain.

"What is it?" Estelle asked, staring down at the folded garment the nurse had dropped onto the bed.

"A boiler suit. Ted keeps it in his car in case of emergency. It is clean, and at least it doesn't smell of vomit. I'm afraid your lovely dress is going need a dry clean at least. But even then, there might be stains. You must have been in some god-awful state when Teddy dragged you in here last night Stella!"

"You know Ted?"

Of course I do, Stella. Everyone knows Teddy; I'm one of his regular bodies..."

Estelle did know what to make of that strange remark, and chose not to enquire.

"And I know you Stella, from college. But I doubt you remember me?"

"I believe I do... remember you, that's is. Brenda... er, Green. You were good friends with Sheila Withen weren't you? Doctor Sheila... Thomas, as she is now."

"Brenda Brown actually; different colour, but close enough considering we never actually met each other to speak to before. I didn't have the makings of a doctor, so I settled for becoming a nurse instead."

"Brenda, I could really do with a shower before I go home."

"Bad timing Stella. Our shower down here is out of commission, so you'd have to use one of the ones up on the ward, and at this time of day it's a madhouse up there. Why don't you take a shower at Teddy's place? He's got a great set-up back there in his changing room and you might even find something a little more... well, more feminine than that boiler suit anyway, to wear."

Brenda stuck her head though the curtain and asked Ted if Stella could use his shower. Ted agreed and also suggested that Stella would probably find something more suitable to wear on the rack.

Stella overheard the exchange, but once again chose not to enquire too much.

She did wonder exactly why Ted would apparently have some female clothes at his home. She even wondered why Ted would refer to them as being on a rack. But because Brenda didn't sound at all surprised by the fact that Ted kept some female clothes at his home; Stella decided not to enquire why he would have them there. She also thought that Brenda would not have suggested that she used Ted's shower, if it wasn't completely safe for her to do so.

After signing the relevant paperwork and feeling very self-conscious, dressed in Ted's oversized - for her - boiler suit; the sleeves and legs rolled up and wearing her stiletto heeled shoes. Estelle followed Ted out to his car, which had the distinct odour of disinfectant inside.

Out of embarrassment, Estelle didn't comment on the smell.

It was but a short journey to Ted's house. A deceptively spacious, small and very old looking cottage; that must have been standing there for many years before any of the other houses in the street had been built.

Estelle was surprised to see that the down stairs had been knocked through to make one large interconnected space. There was a neat kitchen tucked away in one corner and very little furniture; just a few lounge chairs and no television set. However the surface of every wall was almost completely covered in works of art.

"I see you go for the minimalist approach to furnishing, Ted."

"Down here, yes!"

But as he replied, Stella's eye fell upon what she thought was an anomaly amongst the paintings. Estelle had never considered herself a connoisseur of art, but hanging there before her was what appeared to be a print of Constables 'The Hay Wain'. That one print, amongst all those oil colours looked out of place to Estelle and she found herself drawn towards it.

"My God, it's not a print!" She found herself forced to exclaim, when she realised the fact.

"There's no prints here Stella! That's an oil on canvas copy!" Ted informed her.

"But who painted it?"

Estelle lent close so that she could make out the signature.

"T. E. Harper! I know that name; I've seen it before. He... or she, painted that big mural in the college entrance hall."

Then Estelle noticed that the next painting to it, was also signed T. E. Harper... and the next. She spun around and looked at Ted.

"Theodore Edward Harper, at your service milady." Ted grinned at her.

"Not Ted Something-or-the-other then?"

"No, Stella!"

"Oh god I'm so sorry. I had no idea that you were such a talented artist Ted; or should I call you Theodore?"

"No bugger gets away with calling me Theodore, Stella. Unless they are writing me a bleeding great cheque, that is! Now, if you are going to take that shower, you'd better get your arse in gear."

"Charming turn of phrase!"

"I don't stand on ceremony Stella; you should have figured that out by now. The room on the right at the top of the stairs is the models changing room; off that, you'll find a shower room. And you'll see the costume rack, loaded with clothes that my models wear in there as well. You'll have to be a little choosy though, some of them are a little on the risqué side; it's what some of my customers want."