tagHumor & SatireSilky Adventures #14

Silky Adventures #14

byOneSilky©

#14

Silky & Jess go to Church



I decided that I needed to go to Church. Not because I think I'm bad, I'm not. There are a lot of people who get all weird about sex stuff and say you'll go to Hell for screwing. I think that's stupid. You go to Hell for being mean and cruel, for not helping other people and being greedy. Sex is part of life. But I don't go to Church very often.

I begged Jessica, my 'sister,' to go with me. She thinks about like I do, so she was ok to go. I wore a nice dress with a purple top and purple flowers on white on the skirt. Purple is one of the colors that can go really well with my red hair. I wore granny britches underpants, because God knows everything, so he knows what kind of panties you're wearing. Anyway, I wore my hair loose, and put on just a touch of make-up.

I like Church. The music is inspiring; I sing off key (according to Jess) but I sing loudly to make up for that. The Priest (I'm Episcopal) talked about the same things I believe, how you don't act right because you're scared you'll get sent to Hell, you just let love rule your life, and treat everyone like a neighbor. Even if they live down the street, or on the next block, they're still your neighbor. Even if they don't come to the neighborhood block parties, or pay association dues, they're still neighbors. Even if they live in the next town, well, you follow....

They have a new young guy, Father Thomas, and he's really hot! After the sermon, while he was doing the Eucharist, I kinda got distracted. Sometimes my mind wanders, I don't stay focused.

I was having this great fantasy where he and I were alone in the woods, or maybe in a castle, no, probably the woods, or wait, a nice bedroom, and we got naked, and I knelt down in front of him, and he held his cock out with his hand. I took the end of it in my pouty little mouth, and started licking all around the head, making it glisten with my saliva like a swollen wine skin starched and stained with the purpled vintage promised within.

Jess nudged me. It was our turn to take Communion.

Well, kneeling in front of him for real was disquieting and then he offered me the Host, and I took it out of his hand; our touch was like a spark! And he looked right in my eyes! I about peed on myself. I know I blushed, what if he could know what I had been thinking? Maybe God gives him extra abilities or something. My nipples were so hard he had to see them. So when I got back to my pew, my panties were soaked, granny or not.

At this Church, when they close the service, they do this thing where everyone holds hands and the Priest says "The Blessings..." So we were holding hands. I had this lady on my left who was so old I think she was already dead. Her hand was ice, and I think she was in rigor mortis when she clutched me. Jessie was to my right. So I was just being Godly, and listening, and the air conditioner cut on.

The vent was directly below me, so the fan blew... guess where? I was wearing a modest Church dress, but it was very light, so the skirt started billowing up. Dead lady couldn't let go, and evil Jessie wouldn't, so my dress climbed higher and higher. Soon everyone could see that I was wearing granny pants (Good!) but also that they were soaking in the crotch. (Not so good). I would have mortified to death if the prayer had lasted more than a few seconds.

Jessie leaned over and whispered,"O south wind! Blow upon my garden that its fragrance may be wafted abroad. Let my beloved come to his garden, and eat its choicest fruits." Damn college students who take lit classes!

In my experience wet undies chafe, so I stopped by the ladies and swapped out. I always carry spare lingerie because sometimes I do forget them when I'm running late, and George expects them to be there when he inspects, unless he ordered them off. Does that make sense? One time I was looking for a pen and hooked the elastic by mistake. I shot skivvies into a clerk's face and never went back.

Anyway, I reached in my purse, the one with the big handle, because that's what's in style this year, and all I had was that pair I thought I threw away. The ones with the remote control? George gave them to both of us for Christmas, and they are supposed to like get you off when he pushes the button. They have a tiny little vibrator that snuggles like right up on your clit. But they didn't work right.

The range is very short, so George had to be standing next to us, and sometimes other signals like set them off. He took us to this club, and the idea was that he would sit at a table and make us cum whenever he wanted, even when we didn't expect it. But they sorta went off and on, and none of us had much fun with them. So I thought I threw this pair away, but apparently not.

Since they were clean & dry, I put them on. No chafe for Silky! Then Jessie and I spread our blanket out under a tree in the shade for the after Church Fall picnic. We started eating our KFC. (Do I LOOK like I know how to cook? Honestly!) I took a big mouthful of the cole slaw. I caught Jess's eye and pursed my lips. I let a few drops of the turbid fluid dribble down to my chin, swallowed, and wiped it off with my finger. Then I sensuously sucked my finger clean.

She responded by dipping a chicken leg in the slaw, so it had some juice on the end, and then carefully licked it clean, smacking her lips. I began to osculate a leg up and down the shaft, taking tiny nibbles of its flesh in my teeth. We were a riot! I started deep throating mine; I could really get it all the way in!

"Are you girls having fun?" A male voice asked. Father Thomas!

I almost swallowed the leg I was so surprised. "Uh, yeah." Lame.

Just at that very instant the butterfly vibe in my britches came to life! Bzzzzzz! What! Suddenly I'm bombarded with these intense sensations right on my button! Talk about awkward! And then it stopped!

"We enjoyed the sermon so much," the blonde bitch said as she poured those big blue eyes into his lap.

My green eyes shot daggers at hers, but she was too busy trying to get him to think of her naked to notice me. Cunt, I had the fantasy first!

"And what about you, Silky? That is your name, right?"

"Yes, sir. I'm Si" bzzzzzz! OMG! "ILKY!" He thinks I'm spastic, for sure!

"Is anything wrong?"

"Oh no, I'm fine, I thought your recitation of Paul's" bzzzzzz "ARGH!"

"Paul's ark? I don't understand." Bzzzzzz.

"My sister gets a little confused at times," said the flat chested slut who wanted him all for herself. Just because she's tall!

"No, sir, I meant Paul's let," bzzzzzz "UHH!"

Little Johnny Foster came running up to us, proudly displaying his remote control truck. He zoomed it over our blanket, and as he made it turn, I got buzzed again. "Woaoh! That's a fine" bzzzzzz "TRUCK! Why don't you go somewhere else to play?"

"Silky, we've got plenty of room here, and it's flat. Let him stay here." Jess was trying to kill me, I'm sure. I know I wanted her dead.

"Yes, we do try to teach sharing all of God's Earth." Thank you Father Thomas.

"Well, I guess I," bzzzzzz "GET THE HELL AWAY FROM HERE!"

Little Johnny started crying, and threw the truck down, which turned it, and my BVDs on. Now I was on continuous massage.

"Silky, what's wrong?" said the good Father, and he took my hand. When I am being rubbed maddeningly right on my clit, and I've been thinking about fucking this guy for days, and I'm right on the edge, touching me is not going to help. bzzzzzz bzz zzzz bzzzzzz bzzzzzz bzzzzzz bzzzzzz.

"Perhaps if you close your eyes and think about something calming?" Like anything is calming with your pants on fire! Bzzzzzz.

"Just take a deep breath, Silky." he said. Bzzzzzz.

"Oh Holy Mary, Mother of God!" I screamed as an orgasm hit me like a tectonic shift. At least I was coherent.

Father Thomas tried to help, he really did. He pulled my arm to stand me up, just as my legs gave out completely beneath me. So I pulled him down on top of me, and as I came I naturally wrapped my legs around him. I couldn't help it.

Of course, he felt the vibrations against his penis, and he got hard, as any man would. I tried to shove him away, and Jessie helped, but his legs got tangled in mine, and he fell over, landing with his face between Jess's legs, and her skirt above her head.

That little bastard Johnny by then was yelling for help, and all the little Church ladies showed up, including my cataleptic pew mate.

"What are you doing, Father?" Asked a Church Lady.

Jessie had disagreed with me about the undies, she said God knew anyway, so she was bare-snatch, natch.

I realized that I couldn't calm down until this constant bzzzzz was out of my bikinis, and the signal came from the controller. So I jerked the apparatus out of little bastard Johnny's hand and threw it as far as I could. An elderly man using his walker was finally getting to the picnic, and I hit him square upside the head. I saw his legs go horizontal and I grabbed Jessie's arm and ran for the car.

I don't think I better go back before Christmas... or maybe Easter. I wonder if the Presbyterians accept new members?

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byOneSilky© 5 comments/ 6683 views/ 2 favorites
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by Anonymous

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by Anonymous08/29/13

Not Quite A Church LAdy....

but a delightfully humorous piece. Well done.

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