Sister Golden Hair Delight Ch. 19

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I liked the feel of Alessa’s body pressed against mine.
4.6k words
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Part 19 of the 42 part series

Updated 11/01/2022
Created 11/21/2010
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Copyright @ calibeachgirl

All rights reserved, 2010

Evening, Thursday, August 2nd

Alessa....

We had succeeded in bringing Jimmy home without too much trouble and he was settled in one of the clinic's rooms. To forestall a constant line of concerned people, we promised to give hourly updates over the closed-circuit TV system.

Maria and I sat nearby watching the medical staff monitor his condition. While no words were spoken, the conversation between the two of us continued on an emotional level and we found ourselves holding hands more and more.

Now and then, he would give a shudder and then lapse back into what seemed a deep sleep and then he began to talk in his sleep. The doctors later told us they had given him a dose of Ambien. This sleeping drug actually allows some coma patients to communicate when all else had failed and eventually wake up.

As we listened to him speak, we soon realized that we were hearing his dreams about the women in his life. It was as if he were trying to come to some understanding, some final closure on his life with us, with them, with himself.

Listening to the recordings made from the original videos, we ultimately pieced together a probably very inaccurate vision of what he was thinking but it was the best we could do with what we could understand.

Jimmy had been a much more complicated man than the one he presented for public view, much more than the trained killer, much more than the genius behind the vast wealth we had accumulated, much more than the friend and lover he had been to both of us.

My deepest regret in life was that I had only that so short, short time with him that had to last me the rest of my time on earth.

If there is indeed a heaven then I hope to meet him again. If there is indeed a God then I want to ask why my life was so filled with frustration and grief when I had done nothing to deserve it, why Maria's love for him was never consummated, why Miriam had to die the horrible death she had and why Jimmy had to die when he did.

I now present to you what Maria and I, along with several psychologists and psychiatrists we had on staff, have written down. We've put our own impressions on what we think was being said and how it must have looked and felt.

We're probably wrong about some of it but we do think we got most of it down correctly. We listened to his ramblings so long and so carefully that we knew his last innermost thoughts by heart.

Even though we knew he was referring to Miriam and us there was another woman unknown to us who figured prominently in his almost fevered thoughts.

'...Wearing his first lieutenant's uniform, Jimmy walked into the banquet hall looking for his friends. They had been seated toward the middle of the room and already eating for a while. "Jim, where have you been?" Sean asked. But... Sean was dead a long time ago from cancer. His red-haired vixen of a daughter, Kathleen, still looked at him with hungry eyes, making him uncomfortable every time he had been around her...'

Whoever Kathleen was, neither Maria nor myself had a clue. We had looked each other surprised. Evidently, Jimmy had a whole other life way before he ever met Miriam.

'..."I'll get something to eat; be right back," he stammered. He beat a hasty retreat to the empty buffet line, staring at the strange food. Those he recognized were all the wrong colors, food that looked right, he couldn't recognize at all. The salad bowl contained large heads of uncut lettuce and he was at a loss as to what to do. He was startled when Kathleen rubbed against him and almost dropped his plate. "Kathleen! How are you... haven't seen you in a while."...'

Poor Jimmy... this Kathleen he mentioned over and over seemed to be a very predatory bitch of a woman.

Doctor Odell, one of the staff psychologists, said that people often dream of situations where they have no control nor understand what is happening. He said the mind is trying to take different memories and meld them into one idea which is how we can wake up from dreaming and not only didn't understand what was happening but also can't remember the dream minutes later.

'..."James... I could ask you the same thing. You never come around anymore. Daddy was... that is, I was hoping that you were going to ask me to marry you after I graduated from high school. Where did you go?" She continued to crowd his space, causing him to back away and into the serving table, rattling the platters.

"Well, you know... Bosnia and all and other stuff... Kathleen, you know that..."...'

But... he had gone to Bosnia years later... and whoever the hell 'Daddy' was... It seemed to us that Jimmy was the target of Kathleen's father.

'...He saw a dark haired Latina walk by in the distance... He thought he should know her, somehow. She was gone and he was standing on a balcony overlooking San Francisco Bay.

A honey-colored woman was standing next to him, her arm in his. He should know her, but he couldn't remember who she was. "Jimmy," she said, and leaned in to kiss him...'

At that point, we weren't surprised that we were in his dreams somehow. We would have been heartbroken if we weren't.

'..."Jimmy, don't you love me anymore?" The woman began to fade from view, like smoke on a windy day. Where did she go?

The Latina was standing on his other side trying to pull him to her. He stepped back and back again. She was beautiful but untouchable... why? She followed him, her arm reaching out and her fingers beckoning...'

His mind was in turmoil as the conflicting love he had for both Maria and me seemed to battle in his heart. We had to listen to several days' recordings while putting this together and in truth it was one of the hardest things either Maria or I ever had to do.

To this day, I wish we had never heard any of his broken thoughts and were left without those memories of our own.

'...He heard another voice and looked. A dark-haired Russian woman wearing a Star of David on a necklace... As he looked, her wedding dress began to bleed bright red. Before he could reach her, she was gone. "Miriam, oh God, Miriam... why did you have to die?" He sank to his knees on the suddenly appearing grass, the red wetness soaking through his wedding tuxedo...'

His scream filled the clinic's room and the doctor immediately gave him another sedative. Jimmy's pulse slowed down and he sank back into oblivion. I remember that day as if it were yesterday. The two of us left the room sobbing and we cried for hours later.

Today, I can't believe how emotional we were but losing a loved one, even one whom you had issues with, can be unbearable.

I knew Maria was upset because of her long history with him but my emotions, just as strong and just as deep, were crumbling down for a very different reason, still hidden from our eyes. There was something that I had wanted to tell him, something that would have possibly changed everything... but, it was oh so too late.

Our imagined compilation had almost reached its inevitable end.

'...He was in a large park walking hand in hand with the honey-colored woman. They were surrounded by thousands of cruel looking bald men holding knives and guns. He sank to his knees, beaten while others were dragging the woman to the ground and raping her. One finally took a knife and slit her throat...'

He had finally reached the memory of the park but his fears had changed the outcome to something truly horrible instead of something that was just terrifying.

The medical equipment monitoring his heart rate and blood pressure sounded a loud alarm and the doctor moved quickly over to his side.

"Suction! He's choking." He conferred with the nurse. "I can't give him any more sedative, he's at his limit already. He's going to have to tough it out, unfortunately. Get some ice and damp cloths. If we lower his body temperature, maybe he'll calm down. I wonder what's really going on in his mind."

The doctor checked his watch...

'...All four women stood in front of him... "You have to choose one," they said. "Choose... choose..." Kathleen, the little cheating bitch, now pregnant with someone else's child, faded away first, her crimson hair the last memory of her to be seen...'

That explained why we never heard of Kathleen. I was of a notion to have security track her sorry ass down and find out what happened. The little gold-digger and her father must have moved on to some other mark when Jimmy found a way to escape.

We think she was already pregnant with someone else's child and she was looking for someone she could convince it was his and get married as soon as possible.

Both Maria and I knew that wasn't how Jimmy worked.

'...Miriam, once again virginal white, was the next to leave him, smiling with love as she disappeared into a fog that had come in from the Bay. The tuxedo was gone; he was back in his colonel's uniform.

Before him stood the last two women, the Latina, Maria, exuding a heated dark sensuality that called to him but every time he moved closer, an empty uniform moved between them, pushing her back away from him.

The other woman, with her golden halo of curly hair, me, was in his grasp... if he could just reach her... he wanted her... but, God help him, he couldn't remember who she was... who she was... who she was...'

Was our interpretation of what he was dreaming completely accurate? Most likely not for who can really understand someone else's mind, someone else's dreams, hope, aspirations, needs and desires, especially when it became impossible to ask?

**********

Morning, Saturday, August 4th

I had asked the other three women of the leadership team to come to my apartment at ten in the morning. Looking back, it was amazing to think that one of the most influential corporations in the world was being controlled by four women who were going to try to replace one of the most original thinkers that ever lived.

Now we four sat in my living room sipping milk and eating every comfort food I could find in the cafeteria downstairs.

"Thank you for being so prompt. The general still hasn't awakened as we hoped. We cannot let this corporation fall apart waiting for him to get better. I've given this a good deal of thought as I imagine have you. We must step up and continue what we were doing before what happened. We must work together and have a united front.

Colonel, you and Louise must take control of the military side and fill in for whatever he was doing. As you all know, I now have the DOD clearances necessary for you to discuss with me what I need to know and keep to yourselves what I don't. That's fine with me and I will always respect your decision.

I don't want to step into your territory unless you ask but if corporation financial support is required, I have to have a decent idea why.

Is that acceptable to you, Colonel?"

Maria nodded her head in agreement and I was glad that one major stumbling block had been taken care of. A lesser person would have demanded a detailed report trying to establish a line in the sand.

"Mary, I'm immediately promoting you to my working position. I believed that you should have had the job in the first place and I told him that. I have already directed the CFO to bring all your monthly benefits to match my agreement with the general. For you, Colonel, and Louise, it will continue to be put into the accounts that he already has set up for you and I've brought your pay levels up also.

We need to send out a strong memorandum to everyone in all our offices, here and overseas that we have everything in control and that all decisions will continue to come from here. We need to put that together before you leave this morning and we all need to sign it.

Colonel, you and I need to contact that admiral that is Jimmy's friend and convince him to leave things the way they are at least for right now. I don't want them bringing someone else to take his place. I trust you and want you to stay in charge over there."

Maria nodded her head again and I was thankful that the other major obstacle was taken care of. I was afraid that the DOD would assign someone else to take Jimmy's place at our Malibu intelligence center and I wanted to make sure that did not happen.

"Louise and Mary please get started on that over on the dining table. I would like to speak with Colonel Paras."

We walked out onto the terrace, bringing some of those fattening cookies with us.

As it turned out, both of us were going to gain weight over the next few weeks, Maria out of frustration and I, surprised at the strange turn that Fate had given me.

**********

With Jimmy still comatose, more than ever we had to work together if everything built by him was to continue.

Maria spoke first.

"If I may, I would like to speak with you woman to woman and ask a favor."

My heart skipped a beat. I always hated being in these situations.

"Colonel, please sit down."

I indicated the couch near the windows and sat on the opposite end. Close but still with some distance although I remembered the change in Maria's attitude in Hawaii.

"I know that we've not had too much time to know each other and I'm sorry for that."

**********

Maria....

I looked dead at Alessa and dropped the bomb she knew was coming.

"I'm going to come right out and say it. I don't like beating around the bush. I have been in love with Jim for a very long time, probably since he saved me from the Taliban in Iran. I would have rather died than let them capture me."

Alessa made a slight movement, holding her breath.

"Please, just listen to me. I've also known in the back of my heart it would never, could never happen... didn't want to believe it but there it was.

I think you know something about the God damned military regulations. I believe that's why he's never responded to anything I've done to attract his attention. Oh and how had I tried...

Then there was Miriam. When she died, I so waited for him, so stupidly waited for him. I was willing to quit the military if he would have just told me he loved me... but he never did or maybe he did in his own way... I don't know.

He's a principled man and the fucking code of regulations always kept him from me."

I was not going to share with Alessa the conversation I had with Jim the night before the crash, enough hurt was already in the room.

I could see the poor woman shifting in her seat, definitely uncomfortable.

"Then, he met you. I was so fucking jealous of you and so goddamn mad at him. How dare he, how could he bring you back from San Francisco when I've been here the whole fucking time?

Alessa, I gave up. I finally realized that no matter how much I thought I loved him he would never love me back, at least physically like a man and a woman should.

When we went on this mission, I met a Navy commander, Mike Hunter. He's going to leave the service when the carrier gets back to San Diego next week. We kinda 'clicked' and I was hoping that you could find a place for him, here, doing something. I like him and maybe we could find each other... like, you know. I would pay his salary if you want.

Alessa... I'm so alone. I thought the military would replace having a family but it's only brought me grief, plenty of chances to be killed and a whole lot of work that mostly was filed somewhere in Washington and never seen again.

I want... I need someone to love me. I think he really likes me. Would you please help me?"

I couldn't tell her then just what Michael and I had done on the ship nor could I tell her what his sisters had done to him. Once he had joined our household, though, she so quickly accepted the situation I still wonder what sexual orientation she was born with.

I can't believe that I just wrote that. She and I are two sides of the same coin and whatever Alessa is, I'm just the same.

The only person sharp enough to notice our relationship had been Kevin Sales and he never told anyone. He and I had known each other almost five years and he knew Alessa intimately since they had worked together.

Alessa....

I was stunned. I had always felt there had been something going on between Jimmy and Maria but was never sure what it was. Now, it was out in the open, even if it was a one-sided love affair and yet that wasn't true either. He had given her millions of dollars as retribution for his negligence in their relationship, for his blindness for what Maria had to offer him and he was too locked in his own set of rules.

Did he fall for me because I was a safe choice? God, I hope not. I couldn't live with the idea that I was the ultimate rebound.

I had asked myself, that morning with her, 'What to do?' The answers to life's questions, as usual, I found in my Bible. 'Do as Jesus would... do the right thing.'

"Colonel Paras..." I had started to say.

"Maria... please, call me Maria. It seems a little silly to keep calling me that, especially when we're alone like this." She moved closer on the sofa and was next to me. I could feel the heat of her body and I will admit that she excited me somehow.

How could that have been possible, I don't know. Jimmy was lying in the clinic fighting for his life and I, his lover, was becoming sexually stimulated by another woman. I still have no answers and I no longer even care.

"Maria,' I said, "I will do whatever is necessary to help you. I never meant to cause you sadness. When he brought me here from San Francisco I didn't even know about you and he never mentioned it. I understand why, now.

From what you said, as long as you were in the Marines nothing would have happened. Maybe things would have been different if you had said something to him long ago. I don't know.

Sometimes Fate wants something different for us.

Is this Mike Hunter someone you really like or is it some kind of 'rebound'?

If you are sure then we'll do it right now. However, you must be sure, Maria. Honest to God, I don't want you to get hurt again."

Maria told me much, much later how the courtesies I extended to her during the time following the crash and this incident involving Michael convinced her that I was her only true friend.

Maria....

I thought back to my short time on the carrier. It seemed as though Michael had anticipated my every need during our private time together and went out of his way to do whatever I wished. He seemed the perfect boyfriend, fulfilling my every desire.

We would soon learn how far he was able to satisfy a woman... and what he couldn't do no matter what Alessa or I tried.

"I've now learned to take charge of my own destiny and not wait for someone else to 'find' me," I said. "Yes... I want this man, he makes me feel appreciated, wanted... does that make me desperate? Maybe... hell, I don't care. I want a family, is that too much to ask from life? I'm 34 years old. Please."

I started to cry and Alessa got up and found some tissues.

"How do we contact him?"

"We've been talking every night at midnight, California time. I know I shouldn't have but I gave him my sat phone."

If Alessa found that strange, she kept quiet about it. Over the years, Alessa has always been my center and although Michael is a good man, Alessa became the one that I truly loved with all my heart and soul.

"All right... tonight, come back here and we'll make the call. Say, about 11:30?"

She wiped a tear from my eye and kissed me on the cheek.

"Thank you," I said quietly. "You know, you're the only one here that I could possibly have as a friend. I will be forever in your debt."

"Your friendship is far more important to me than some debt of honor. I want your friendship, Maria. I'll see you tonight. I'll have some more of these cookies. Why don't you sit here for a while and get yourself back together.

I'll have some lunch brought up."

12