Sittin' Pretty

When she returned, though, she was all over me, like before. She was unusually aggressive in bed, suggesting things we hadn't done in a long time, like anal sex. Anal isn't something Dee Dee particularly likes, and I can take it or leave it.

But one night she asked me for it, and that made me wonder.

And the late nights at the office continued at about the same pace, two or three nights a week, and occasionally she had to work Saturdays. When Dee Dee came home from those late nights she had a look in her eyes like she was hiding something from me.

Soon, the aggressive behavior evaporated and our sex life declined again. We were arguing far more than we ever did before, largely around the amount of time she was spending at the office, and how much time she was spending in the company of her boss.

Dee Dee got real emotional about it, far more than was warranted, and I just had this gut feeling that there was something deeply, profoundly wrong.

At the company's Fourth of July picnic, I managed to avoid Henry, but I still caught him looking at me funny. He looked at me with this smirk on his face, like he was saying, "I'm fucking your wife and there's not a thing you can do about it."

I told Dee Dee about it, and she said I was just paranoid, that I was reading way too much into facial expressions.

"Well, all I can say, sweetheart, is that he's just about gotten on my last nerve," I said through clenched teeth. "If he gives me a reason, any reason at all, I'll wipe that shit-eating grin off his face, and if he tries to put his dick where it doesn't belong, I'll cut it off and feed it to him."

I was staring right at Dee Dee when I said that, because I wanted her to get the message too. She just looked away without meeting my gaze.

That was a little over three weeks before the Wednesday when it all hit the fan. It was high summer, but there was some frost in the air at our house.

Dee Dee was telling me that this would pass and things would go back to normal soon, but I didn't see any change. She was still working a lot of late nights, and then things took a turn for the worse.

We had planned to take some vacation, just the two of us, to be together and to talk out some things, mostly concerning our increasingly rocky marriage.

We were going to leave on Saturday, just take the week and drive, no set agenda, no itinerary, just the two of us alone.

But she called Friday afternoon with bad news. Henry was going back to New York on Monday and wanted her to go with him again. This time, I blew up.

"Dee Dee, what's more important, this fucking job or our marriage?" I yelled into the phone. "Henry wants you to hold his hand in New York, and you immediately drop our plans to go with him. This has gotten out of hand."

Dee Dee burst into tears then and told me I didn't understand, that she had to go, but she didn't explain exactly why she had to go. I just threw up my hands then. If she was bound and determined to be with Henry, then there wasn't much I could do. At least not right then.

We argued about it all weekend, and she finally said it would be just like the last time, which I assumed meant Norma and Don would also be going.

Monday morning, Dee Dee caught a taxi to the airport to meet her flight. Just before she left, she turned to me and looked at me intensely.

"Doug, I want you to know something," she said. "No matter what, always understand that I love you. That has never changed."

Then she hugged me close and kissed me with a passion that left me unsettled. As the taxi took off down the street, I stared at it, wondering if I had just seen the last of Dee Dee as my loving wife.

I became more certain than ever about that after the phone conversation I had earlier that Wednesday, after Dee Dee had been gone two days. She'd called Monday night, but hadn't called Tuesday.

I'm not sure why I called her office, but I was very surprised to hear Norma Crimson answer the phone.

"Norma?" I said. "Aren't you supposed to be in New York?"

"N-no," she said, a little uncertainly.

"Dee Dee said you and Don were going with her and Henry to New York, that you and her were going to room together, just like last time," I said.

"What are you talking about?" Norma said. "I've never been to New York."

"You didn't go to New York in April?" I said, my blood pressure rising.

"Oh, that," Norma said, apparently thinking fast. "My trip got cancelled at the last minute. But Don went."

"You're lying," I said. "You're covering for her and that asshole Henry."

"Doug, please listen to me carefully," Norma said. "There are some things going on here between Dee Dee and Henry, but it's not what you think. I can't say any more than that. Please, don't jump to conclusions and do something you'll regret."

"Who are you to tell me what to do about my wife?" I yelled. "Norma, I want you to give my wife a message, I want you to give it to her today and I want you to make sure she understands it with crystal clarity. If I find out she's having an affair with Henry Snodgrass – and I will find out – I'll kill him and I'll throw her ass out on the street. I'll let her daddy come take care of her, and he can pick her shit up off the front lawn when he does. If she's slutting around on me, it'll be the worst mistake she ever made. That's a promise."

"Doug, ple ..." she started and I just hung up the phone.

I just sat there at my desk in my little office alcove, holding my head in my hands. I couldn't believe it. Dee Dee had lied to me, bald-faced lied. She'd told me Norma and Don had been with her in New York in April and had implied that they'd be with her this week.

All of which meant that she had spent four days alone in April with Henry Snodgrass without my knowing it, and was with him now, under false pretexts.

Up to that moment, I hadn't really given any real credence to the idea that Dee Dee might actually be sleeping with Henry. It had all just been a scattering of vaguely disturbing things, suspicions and innuendoes. But now?

All the signs were there. The late nights when they were supposedly at work, the furtive – sometimes guilty – looks on her face, the wildly fluctuating emotions, the inconsistent sex, and, more than anything else, the two trips to New York alone together, and the lies that accompanied them.

What still puzzled me was why. I mean, Henry Snodgrass is a fairly handsome man, in an aristocratic way, and he's tall and well built, with the look of a man who works out. But he just had such a repellant way about him, although I wondered if perhaps that feeling was colored by the personal animus between us.

So if Dee Dee was having an affair with Henry, I had to wonder what she was seeing in him. He didn't seem to be at all her type, or least not to the Dee Dee I knew, especially considering that she knew my feelings toward the man. It didn't make sense.

Just then I heard a soft voice next to me. It was Yancey, one of the workers who came with the shop when I bought it. He's a wise old black man that I've known since I was 16 and first started working there.

"Boss, are you OK?" Yancey said.

"No, Yancey, I'm not OK," I said. "I think my wife's cheating on me, and I don't know what to do."

"Miss Dee? Oh, I ain't believin' that," he said. All the guys at the shop knew Dee Dee and thought the world of her. "You got any proof?"

"No, not yet, just a lot of suspicions and lies," I said. "It's got something to do with her boss. They're spending an awful lot of time together, working late, going off on business trips together, stuff like that. They're creating an awful lot of smoke for there not to be a fire in there somewhere. Yancey, I don't know what I'm going to do if she's screwing around on me."

"Well, Douglas, lemme tell ya what ya don't do," he said. "You don't do nuthin' tonight. You don't wanna do nuthin' stupid, nuthin' you cain't undo. Go home and be with yo' kids, sit out on the deck, get in the pool, do somethin' at home. But don't do nuthin' 'til you've had a chance to sleep on it. Then, tomorrow, you can start findin' out if it's true. Promise me you won't do nuthin' stupid."

"OK, Yancey, I won't," I said. "But I am going to get to the bottom of this, soon."

"Tha's fine, bossman, but you keep yo' head on straight," he said, finally. "I like this place, I need this job and I'm way too old to be goin' out lookin' for another one."

It was still fairly early in the afternoon, a little after 3 o'clock, but I needed to get away for awhile, so I drove to Angelo's, walked in, sat down and ordered a pitcher of beer.

By now, Angelo's sons are running the place, but Big Angelo still hangs around during the day, so when he saw me come in at 3 in the afternoon and order a pitcher, he knew something was wrong. He grabbed a glass, came over and sat down with me.

He was like Yancey, he refused to believe that Dee Dee would screw around on me. He'd been one of the few people from the neighborhood who had made it up to Chicago for our wedding, he'd seen the love we had, and he had grown very fond of Dee Dee over the years.

"I'd have to see it to believe it," he said.

He also gave me the same advice Yancey had: Don't jump to conclusions and don't act rashly. After we finished the pitcher, he sent me off with a pizza to take home for the kids' dinner, I went back to the shop, closed up and headed home.

On the way, I stopped at a smoke shop, bought a good Dominican cigar and a six-pack of Red Stripe. I don't drink all that often or all that much, but when I do, I go for the good stuff.

The kids sensed my mood when I got home and gave me a wide berth. We had tried to keep our troubles away from them, but they're pretty perceptive and they knew that things weren't right between Mom and Dad.

So there I sat on my back deck, drinking strong beer and puffing on a potent cigar in silence, brooding about my life.

You know, I look back on that night and realize that it was the lowest point I'd ever reached. Even when my father was wasting away, I always kept a positive outlook, always saw the bright side of things.

But I wasn't sure I could live without Dee Dee. She was my life, my rock, and I was convinced that I'd be lost without her. I actually cried that night for one of the few times in my life. I love her so much, but I knew that love would not survive the knowledge that she was cheating.

I think Dee Dee called one time when I was out on the deck, but I'd told the kids I was not to be disturbed for any reason short of a major medical emergency, and that I especially didn't want to talk to their mother right then.

She called again later, I think, but by then I'd gone to bed and was sleeping in a semi-drunken stupor.

I was moving a little slow that Thursday morning, and I was still drinking coffee when the phone rang and this time I picked it up. It was my wife.

"Doug?" she said, a little breathlessly.

"I take it you got my message yesterday?" I said, rather curtly.

"Doug, listen, I don't have much time," she said hurriedly. "I'm at JFK, and I'm about to board a plane for Chicago."

"Chicago?" I asked, confused. "I thought you weren't coming home until tomorrow afternoon. What happened to your meetings?"

"Change of plans," she said. "I'm meeting Daddy for lunch to talk about some important business, then I'm flying home later this afternoon. Honey, it all came together last night, and I can finally level with you. I know I've been less than honest with you these past few months, but there's a reason for it. I'll explain everything when I get home. My flight from Chicago should get in at about 6:15. Can you meet me at the airport?"

"Well, uh, yeah, sure," I said.

She gave me her flight number, then she went silent for a second.

"Doug?" she said. "I love you more than you will ever know."

"I love you too," I said as she rang off.

When I got to the shop, I called Norma at Dee Dee's office to find out what the heck was going on.

"I still can't tell you, but trust me, it's nothing bad," Norma said. "Your wife is the most wonderful person, and what she's been doing took an awful lot of guts. I couldn't have done it."

Well, now I was really confused. Was Dee Dee cheating, or was it something else entirely?

I got my answer when Dee Dee arrived at the gate in the company of a portly older fellow. When she saw me, she dropped her briefcase and ran to me. We hugged hard, and she kissed me deeply.

"My God, are you a sight for sore eyes," she said, when we finally pried our lips apart. "You don't know how badly I've missed you, not only this week, but over the past few months. This has been hell, but it's over now."

I was starting to feel a lot better, because this was the old Dee Dee. She had the sparkle back in her eyes, the jump was back in her step and she was damn glad to see me. Then she remembered her companion, who had thoughtfully picked up her briefcase.

"Doug, this is Harlan Shaw," she said. "He's been Daddy's attorney for about as long as I can remember."

"Pleased to meet you, son," Harlan said. "Actually, we did meet at your wedding, but you probably don't remember me."

I confessed that I didn't, and he laughed jovially.

"So why are you here?" I asked as we headed for the baggage claim.

"I'm here to assist Deirdre in a legal matter involving her employer," he said.

"A legal matter?" I said.

"Well, actually, her supervisor," he said. "But let's wait until we can sit down and spread everything out. It's been an enlightening day, and you're going to want to see and hear everything. Let's find a nice, quiet restaurant."

"Doug?" Dee Dee said with a puckish look on her face. "I have a confession to make. Harlan's seen me naked."

They both laughed at the confused look on my face.

"I used to change this girl's diapers," Harlan said. "That's how long I've know her. She's become a fine woman, and you should be proud of her."

Once we had sat down at the restaurant and ordered our meals, I turned to Dee Dee, who was sitting next to me at a large booth.

"OK, enough with the mystery," I said. "I've come from the depths of despair, thinking you might be cheating on me, and I need answers."

"Doug, I am so sorry I've kept you in the dark, but I had to," Dee Dee said. "I knew how you would react if you found out what Henry was doing, and I couldn't have you rushing in like a bull in a china shop. Norma and Don are the only ones who know, and I needed to keep it a secret to keep Henry from getting wind of what I was doing."

"Doug, Henry Snodgrass has been engaged in a relentless campaign of sexual harassment against Deirdre almost from the first day he became senior vice president," Harlan said. "And since the first of the year, she's been gathering evidence against him."

Dee Dee pulled a spiral notebook out of her briefcase and handed it to me. It was a log of every inappropriate gesture, suggestion, touch, joke, anything from Henry Snodgrass over the previous seven months that Dee Dee felt constituted a hostile work environment, as spelled out under the law.

"And I finally got him on tape last night threatening my job if I didn't sleep with him," Dee Dee said. "Here, you need to hear this."

Dee Dee produced a pocket tape recorder, one of the new voice-activated kind. She cued it up then let me listen. It was a conversation from the previous evening at the hotel bar where they had been staying in New York.

Over the course of our dinner, I listened to Henry Snodgrass hang himself professionally.

"Dee Dee, it's time to cut the innocent little wife routine, time to cut to the chase," Henry said on tape.

"What do you mean, Henry?" Dee Dee said.

"I mean that it's time for you to start being nicer to me, if you catch my drift," Henry said. "You've been teasing me with that hot little body for months now, and I'm getting tired of the chase. It's time for you to have a real man from the better classes, rather than some redneck mechanic. I can do so much better for you, if only you'd open your eyes and see it."

"Better how?" Dee Dee said.

"Oh, I think you know," Henry said. "I can make your life a lot easier, make your job go a lot better, if you start being a little nicer to me."

"What exactly do you mean by 'nicer?'" Dee Dee said.

"It means letting me have what I want," Henry said. "What I've wanted for years, before that stupid mechanic blinded you with his bad-boy charm."

"Doug is not a stupid mechanic, Henry," Dee Dee said. "And he's not a bad boy at all."

"Come now, is he really one of us?" Henry said. "Are you really happy being married to a fucking mechanic from the slums? Do you like being the one bringing home the bacon in your house? Do you like your nice, comfortable house? Do your kids like their school?"

"What are you getting at, Henry?" Dee Dee said.

"I'm getting at this," Henry said. "I control your future at this company. You have an annual evaluation coming up in a month or so, and I can give you a good recommendation or a bad one. You stay employed solely at my discretion. There are any number of ways I can fuck with your career. Without your job, you lose your nice house, the mechanic loses his business and your kids lose their place at the best schools. You'll be forced to go back to the streets, where the mechanic came from. Is that a prospect you really want to see happen?"

"What do I have to do to keep my job?" Dee Dee said.

"Be nice to me, real nice," Henry said.

"In other words, you want me to have sex with you." Dee Dee said. "Is that it?"

"You said it, not me," Henry said.

"And if I say no?" Dee Dee said.

"The choice is yours, put out or get out," Henry said. "I get what I want tonight, in your bed, or come Monday you'll be out of a job."

"Henry, does the term sexual harassment mean anything to you?" Dee Dee said.

"It means my word against yours," Henry said. "Who is Lane going to believe, me or you? The senior vice president with 23 years with the company, his golf buddy? Or the assistant with 18 years – minus all the maternity leaves – who doesn't have the inside track to the top."

"I think I'm willing to take that chance," Dee Dee said. "Because there is no way in hell that I'll ever let you have me. And let me tell you something, mister. Doug Manning cleared $125,000 last year after taxes, our house is paid for, so is the loan on his business, and our kids go to public schools. And Doug has more class, more integrity than you'll ever have in 50 lifetimes, not to mention the fact that he's got a lot more cock than you do. He's the best man I've ever known, and I'm sure as hell not going to cheat on him, especially not with scum like you."

"So, I take it the answer is no," Henry said.

"Not no, but hell no!" Dee Dee said.

"It doesn't matter," Henry said. "I'll just say you came onto me, tried to persuade me to have sex with you in return for job favors, and I'll nail you that way. Face it, Dee Dee, I've got you either way. You might as well let me fuck you, because you lose either way it goes."

"I don't think so," Dee Dee said.

Then there was the sound of chairs scraping and jostling on the tape.

"Where do you think you're going?" Henry said.

"I'm going up to pack my bags, I'm going to find me another hotel to spend the night then I'm flying out of here first thing in the morning," Dee Dee said. "You don't need me here. The only reason you wanted me to come on this trip is so you could try to seduce me. You can handle the meeting tomorrow without me. Goodbye, Henry."

"Dee Dee!" Henry could be heard yelling in the background. "If you're not in that meeting with me in the morning, you might as well clean out your office when you get back home, because you are so fired."

"We'll see about that," Dee Dee said.

"Now, do you see why I couldn't tell you what I was doing?" Dee Dee said as she shut off the tape player. "You'd have killed him."