Two girlfriends were out for a "girls night out", both happily married, faithful and exemplary wives. This evening it was a little too many Bacardi Breezer and when they were on their way home extremely intoxicated was the need to go, and decided to sneak into the cemetery.
When one of them was finished, she realized that she had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties and use them. The other woman was wearing a pair of very exclusive and expensive panties that she absolutely could not imagine using. Fortunately she had sat down next to a grave where it was a beautiful wreath with a large ribbon in, so she ripped it and wiped himself with it. When they were finished they went back home drunk and joyously. The next day was one woman man worried that his sweet and innocent wife was still in bed with a decent hangover and thought about what had happened the night before, so he will call the other woman's husband and says:
- These evenings must immediately cease! I have begun to suspect the worst. Last night my wife came home WITHOUT panties, and she is still in bed.
- That's nothing, replied the other man. - My wife came home with a card in the ass that said: From all of us at the fire station, we will never forget you.
The husband and wife lying in bed, he starts to caress his wife over the back and then she says:
- Not tonight, I shall go to the gynecologist tomorrow.
The man turns around and trying to sleep, a little while later, however, he is back with his attempts and caresses, the wife exclaims slightly annoyed:
- Honey, I told you I shall go to the gynecologist tomorrow.
The man responds directly:
- Yeah, but you're not going to the dentist!
The man looked at the woman and said: - Why did you tattoo a sun on the mouse?
- Well you have complained about the weather all summer.
Now you can be here and soak up the sun all winter.
There was a married couple with many children. They developed a markup language for their desire for sex with each other. When one of them wanted to love so said he: "Look, I think we would take the sewing machine tonight."
So one afternoon, said the old man:
- Do we take the sewing machine?
- Sure, replied the old woman, I'll just clean up and prepare a little. I'll be right.
A few hours later, she came to the bed. Then the old man slept deeply. She pushed at him until he woke up and reminded him of taking the sewing machine.
- No, said the old man, you took so long time that I sewed by hand.
The young man went with his father to the indoor pool and sauna. Beside them on the bench sat a man who studied them carefully.
- Such big feet you have uncle, the man said.
- Yes, my friend. It's because I walked a lot in my time.
- Uncle has very big hands too.
- It is not so surprising. I have worked hard ever since adolescence. Then you get big hands.
The man was silent for a moment. Then he exclaimed:
- But uncle you could not have been peeing much.
A lady with small breasts could not find any bra that was small enough. She bared her breasts to the clerk and said: - Do you have anything for these? Assistant: - Have you tried Clearasil?
After intercourse, she emphasizes her lover's penis.
He: - Would you have sex again?
She: - No, I just admire your penis...
I had one of those once!
Two neighbors standing and talking at the fence when one says: - If I go in to you and fuck your wife would we become family then? The other thinks for a while and says: - No we would be even.
Two girls sat on a cinema and looked at porn when one of them whispered to the other: - What should I do? The guy next to keeps on jerking. - Let him go on. - But he uses my hand...
Father to son: - Soon the stork comes with a little sibling to you. Son: - Damn stupid! The whole town is full of babies, and putting them all on one stork!
- Do you know why the Kasper doll looks so dogged out? It had to be done with a fist in the ass.