Slumming It

"You could say I was slumming it when I found her, and you'd almost be right. I was chasing some two bit clown supposedly cheating on his wife when I strolled into some stinking hole of a bar. For a wrinkled twenty the bartender directed me to the alley where my client's husband was supposedly entertaining some drunk blond. By the time I quietly slipped into the alleyway, my camera ready to catch the shit in the middle of some disgusting act all I found was the blond, bent over puking behind the dumpster.

"Although pissed I didn't catch the maggot in the act, I did notice the fine curve of this woman's ass through the sheer panties showing beneath her hiked up dress. The wet stain in the crotch immediately drew my attention. She was still retching as I saddled up behind her, ready to unzip and slide my cock along that exciting damp spot. My fingers had moved to my zipper and I was ready to move when she stood up, looked at me still holding her glass and groaned, 'Help me.'

"Help her? Yeah, I wanted to help her bend over the hood of my car while I slipped my cock up against... well, like I said before, but instead I handed her a handkerchief to wipe off her mouth. Based on the drunken babble that followed, helping her would have consisted of getting her another drink or two, but that could only lead to a repeat performance behind the dumpster. While I'm a bit squeamish about putting it to her while she's puking, I figure this was too fine of an opportunity to pass up.

"I reached into my jacket pocket, pulled out my flask and poured a generous shot of scotch into her glass. She smiled, took a quick gulp and then held the empty glass out to me. I paused a moment, but remembering the way her panties looked I poured the last of the scotch from my flask. Once again she quickly gulped down the scotch and this time, seeing I was out, she hooked her arm in mine and started to head back into the bar.

"Fortunately just as she reached the door she stopped suddenly, released my arm and then turned and ran back to the dumpster. Figuring this was my chance, I rushed back behind her and while she bent over with her hands on her knees puking, I eased my cock out of my pants, slipped it just beneath the crotch of her panties and then grabbed her hips.

"Thrusting my hips forward, I let my cock slide in between her panties and her pussy lips, feeling the wet skin along the top and the damp fabric of the panties along the bottom. Initially she started to straighten up, but then bent back over. The smell might have been awful and the sound of the splattering on the ground should have been disgusting but I was too zoned in on the sight of my cock sliding up under those panties and the feel of her pussy lips and the wet fabric for me to notice.

"Thankfully she was too involved in her puking to notice what a bad fuck I might have been, because after only about my fifth or sixth thrust I could feel my balls tighten and my cock surge with pleasure. Squeezing her hips tight I pulled her back to me as I arched my back and came, spurting my cum up into her panties, onto her pussy lips and pubic hair.

"Feeling the sudden spurt of wet warmth, she turned her head and screamed, 'What the hell...' but turned back to puke some more before finishing her statement. I quickly pulled my cock out of her panties and slipped it back into my pants. She was still hunched over puking, so I just walked away. Then, instead of heading back into the bar, I found an all-night coffee shop and ordered a cup of coffee. And that's what happened, hell I even have the receipt here in my wallet."

"So she was alive when you left her?" the detective asked, looking over the receipt, he then looked at his partner and said, "Receipt says 2:15 am." He then looked back at me, waiting.

"Yeah, swear to God. She was fine... well she wasn't fine, but she was alive and puking when I left her."

"Okay, so we've got a dead woman in the alley, a dead woman with your DNA splattered in her pubic hair and on her genitals..."

"And her panties," I added.

"Panties? Didn't we tell you? Her panties are gone. You wouldn't know anything about that would you?"

"Her panties gone? Damn," I moaned, remembering the way they looked on her, the way they...

"Do you or don't you?"

"What?"

"Do you know anything about her missing panties?" the partner screamed.

"No, no. I mean I just, ah, did what I told you. But she still was wearing them when I left."

"Okay, okay, I think we have an idea what happened with you, but you're gonna need to give me your client's name and number."

"I can't do that, it's confidential. What kind of private investigator would..."

"Look now, let's go over this again. We have a dead woman in an alley with your DNA splashed all over her private parts, what's that gonna look like to a jury. Now you want us to pursue that or are you gonna give me someone else to talk to."

"But I was about to catch the bastard and get a nice bonus from his wife. Now you swoop in and I get pinched out of all that?"

"Either that or we read you your rights," the detective with a sigh.

I reached into my pocket, pulled out a notebook and then read off my client's name and phone number. Apparently her husband had moved to the top of their suspect list. After a short, terse warning about leaving the city, the detectives let me go.

With my case now blown, I wandered out to my car and drove away from the police station. After a few blocks I felt a wave of relief roll over me. Was it pure luck or was it just smart thinking grabbing that discarded receipt from the front of the coffee shop that morning? I barely kept from laughing out loud seeing the detective's face when his partner read off the time from the receipt.

I pulled into my garage and watched the door slowly close behind me. Only when I was completely out of sight did I reach over to my glove compartment, open it and pull out the small box I stuffed in there. I opened the box and pulled out her panties. Ignoring the small blood stain near the waistband I held them up to my face and took in a deep breath. Her fragrance enveloped me as I felt my cock begin to harden.