tagHumor & SatireSnow White & the Seven Biker Dudes

Snow White & the Seven Biker Dudes

bysongman60©

Once upon a time there lived a beautiful fair maiden by the name of Snow White. Snow White was a virginal young woman who lived a very sheltered life. Her father was a very famous televangelist whom, due to obvious legal reasons, shall remain nameless in this story. He did not permit Snow White to have any boyfriends, listen to music with obscene lyrics, or watch any movies with any type of sexually suggestive content. Oh, it was perfectly fine in his eyes for him to have extramarital encounters with various male prostitutes and to snort crystal methamphetamine, but his daughter was to remain pure and chaste at any and all costs.

One day, Snow White was driving from her home in the country into the city nearby to perform some charity work at the homeless shelter where she devotes one or two days a week to help serve the meals for the residents of the shelter. On her way into town, Snow White spotted a haggard-looking elderly woman, who appeared to be homeless, walking along the road. Snow White stopped and offered a ride to the old woman. "Excuse me, ma'am, would you like a ride to the homeless shelter? I'm headed that way anyway," offered Snow White.

"Oh no dearie, I'm not going to the homeless shelter. As a matter of fact, I live with my seven nephews in a house not too far from here, but I would gladly accept a ride with you. Oh, by the way, you don't have to call me 'ma'am'; it makes me feel so old. Most folks just call me 'Queenie'."

The old woman got into Snow White's BMW Z4M and as they drove away, Queenie offered Snow White an apple, which the young girl eagerly accepted.

"Thank you for the apple, Queenie. I didn't realize how hungry I was."

Snow White ate the apple while driving Queenie to her nephews' house as Queenie gave her the directions.

The duo reached the secluded house, which was located about three miles from town. There were six motorcycles parked in the driveway—five chopped Harley Davidsons of various models and one old Indian Chief, which was fully restored to show condition.

When Queenie opened the passenger door to exit the car, the powerful odor of anhydrous ammonia wafted into the vehicle. Snow White immediately began feeling somewhat ill.

"Are you feeling all right, dearie?" inquired Queenie.

"As a matter of fact, my head's feeling a little dizzy and my stomach is feeling a bit queasy," Snow White replied.

"Oh my dear, please do come in and rest for a bit. I'm sure my nephews would love to meet you," Queenie offered.

Queenie assisted Snow White out of the car and into the house. When they entered the living room, Queenie found four of her nephews there. Sleepy—a drunk who is addicted to Xanax—was passed out, as always, on one section of the large sectional sofa. Dopey and Happy were both sitting on the other section of the sofa, smoking a bong. Grumpy—a manic depressive and a heavy drinker who has been off his medication for the past five years—was sitting in an easy chair, drinking from a liter bottle of Jim Beam and watching a porno on the big screen plasma TV.

"Who in the Hell is she?" Grumpy grumbled, his speech thick from drink.

"This is Snow White. She gave me a lift here and she's not feeling very well. I'm going to let her rest in the guest room for a spell," answered Queenie while directing a sly wink in Grumpy's direction.

Queenie led Snow White to the guest bedroom and helped her onto the bed. She was thankful that Snow White hadn't noticed the two video cameras on tripods or the four unlit quartz-halogen lamps on stands situated around the room.

Queenie returned to the living room and asked Grumpy: "Where are your other brothers?"

"Doc and Bashful are out in the barn tending to the meth lab; they're cooking up a new batch. Sneezy is making a delivery to the Sons of Silence. Didn't you notice his chopper was gone?"

"No, I didn't notice. I was too busy trying to get our next 'movie starlet' into the house before she fell on her pretty little face."

"So, when do we start making our next movie?" asked Grumpy. "I'm so horny right now the tailpipe on my bike is starting to look pretty good to me. Besides, that girl you just brought in is a real hottie!"

"Hold your horses, Grumpy. Give it another twenty minutes or so to make sure she's completely out, then go in there and tie her to the bed securely so she can't work loose. I gave her an apple that I injected with Rohypnol. She'll be out a good long time. Don't worry; you can go first."

Queenie then went out to the barn where Doc and Bashful were just finishing up their new batch of crystal meth. "As soon as you two get finished with this, I want you to come inside. I found us a new 'starlet' for our porno film racket."

This bit of news made Bashful a little nervous because he was so shy he couldn't get laid in a Tijuana whorehouse with a hundred-dollar bill pinned to his shirt. However, Doc was elated with hearing this information.

By the time Queenie came back into the house, Grumpy had awakened Sleepy and both men had Snow White's nude, unconscious form tied-up, spread-eagle, on the bed. Dopey and Happy were busy getting the lights and cameras ready.

"Well boys, it looks like it's show time," Queenie announced. "Dopey and Happy, you two man the cameras until it's your turn to play. When Dopey and Happy had the lights and cameras ready to go, Queenie shouted: "Lights...camera...action!"

Grumpy mounted himself atop Snow White and with complete astonishment uttered: "Damn Queenie! I don't believe it; she's still a virgin...well...not anymore!"

After Grumpy had his way with Snow White and provided the requisite "money shot" all over Snow White's angelic face, Sleepy announced, "It's my turn, Grumpy!"

Sleepy mounted the unconscious girl and had his way with the freshly-deflowered virgin. After Sleepy provided his "money shot," he got off the bed, curled up on the floor in the corner of the bedroom, and quickly fell asleep.

Dopey had his turn with Snow White and after he frosted her face, then it was Happy's turn. While Happy was in the midst of his carnal coupling with Snow White, Sneezy burst into the room.

"Well, well, well...what do we have here?" Sneezy inquired. "I was wondering where everyone was."

"She's our new young starlet," Queenie replied. "Isn't she a real beauty? Her name's Snow White."

"From all of that splooge that's plastered all over her face, I'd say she's plenty white. I want a shot at that prime stuff when Happy's done with her," Sneezy remarked.

"You wait your turn; I'm next," Doc announced.

"How's about we double-team her?" Sneezy suggested. "You know; do the old 'top and tail' on her."

"That sounds good to me," Doc responded. "After we each bust our nut, then we'll switch ends."

"I like the way you think, Doc old boy."

After Happy deposited his pleasure pudding across Snow White's mug, Doc and Sneezy released her from her bonds and put her up on all fours. She had started to regain consciousness, but was still too much under the influence of the drug to offer any resistance. Doc mounted the young girl from behind while Sneezy placed his erect member into her slobbering mouth, between her jizz-glazed ruby lips.

Doc and Sneezy busied themselves with Snow White, bouncing the drug-stupored girl back-and-forth between them like some lifeless rag doll.

"Damn! This girl is snug," Doc remarked. "I hadn't had anything this tight since the time we raided that Girl Scout camp."

"Yeah, it's a crying shame none of 'em were virgins," Sneezy added with a hearty laugh.

"This one was until I got a hold of her," Grumpy said with a smirk.

"You lucky fucker," Doc said. One of these days, I'll get me a virgin even if I have to raid a Brownie Troop to do it."

Doc unloaded his spunk across Snow White's back with one mighty spurt. It arced into the air and landed on the back of her head, leaving a trail down her spine like the stripe down a skunk's back.

Sneezy wasn't far behind. His fuck fluid spewed onto Snow White's forehead and oozed down into her heavily-lidded eyes.

Doc and Sneezy gave each other a "high five" like a couple of wrestlers at a tag team match and then switched positions.

By now Snow White was starting to become more aware and instead of offering any resistance, began to enjoy the experience.

"Jesus! I think the little bitch loves it. She's gobbling my dork like her life depends on it," Doc announced.

It was true. Snow White was enjoying it. She was experiencing feelings that she had never had before. She remembered how her father would tell her how having sex was such an evil and dirty act, but she thought: "How anything that felt so good could be considered so evil?"

"Screw the money shot; I'm gonna blast off inside this little wench," Sneezy barked just before unloading his steamy seed into Snow White's gripping orifice.

Doc was ready to climax and as he started to withdraw from Snow White's sucking mouth, she gripped his buttocks with both hands and pulled him to her face, taking his entire length down her velvety throat. This was just too much for Doc to handle and he immediately began to spurt his nookie nectar deep into Snow White's gullet. Snow White didn't have to even swallow because she had Doc so deep into her throat each jet of jizz shot directly down her esophagus and oozed into her belly.

"Who's next?" Doc inquired.

"Hey! Bashful hasn't had his turn yet," Queenie announced.

"I don't think I've ever seen or even heard of Bashful ever getting laid," said Sneezy teasingly.

"Yeah, I think the little fucker is still a virgin," Grumpy grumbled.

"Well boy, it's about time you lose that cherry of yours," Doc said. "Go on and get you some!"

"I just wish someone would hurry up and fuck me," pleaded Snow White. "I'm horny as Hell."

Doc, Grumpy, and the rest of Bashful's brothers (except Sleepy, who was still asleep in the corner) continued to tease him about never being laid while Snow White continued to whine and beg for someone to screw her. Finally, Bashful had enough of the ribbing and said: "Enough already, I'll do it!"

As Bashful began to disrobe, a hushed silence fell over the entire room, but when Bashful's semi-erect prick sprang into view a series of surprised gasps came from Queenie and Bashful's brothers (except Sleepy, of course, because he was still sleeping) while Snow White shrieked in delight. It was fucking huge! Even though it hadn't reached full tumescence, it was well over a foot long and as thick as the bottle of Budweiser from which Grumpy was currently drinking.

When Bashful got onto the bed, Snow White literally pounced on him like a lioness on a helpless gazelle, pushing him onto his back while she hungrily tried to devour his massive member. Although Snow White gave it every effort she knew how, she could manage to fit only Bashful's swollen purple glans into her greedy mouth.

After Snow White's oral efforts had Bashful's pleasure pole as hard as a two-dollar chisel, she straddled his mighty man meat and lowered herself down upon it. It took some considerable effort and struggling but Snow White was finally able to fully impale herself on Bashful's magic wand.

Snow White started to ride Bashful slowly at first until she became accustomed to the extreme length and girth of his throbbing cock. Soon she was bouncing madly on Bashful's pulsating prick with reckless abandon, bringing herself to countless orgasms. After nearly a half an hour of bouncing and bucking, Snow White asked Bashful if he'd climaxed yet. Bashful just shook his head "no."

"Someday my prince will come," Snow White said with a smile as she continued to stir her guts with Bashful's huge, steely sexual swizzle stick.

It wasn't five minutes later when Bashful felt a rumbling in his heavy balls. Before he knew it, he came. And came he did. Bashful's orgasm erupted from his mighty cock like a blast from Mt. St. Helens, spewing copious amounts of his love lava with such a brutal force it literally launched Snow White from his cock and propelled her across the room where she landed in a sated heap on the floor.

"And...cut!" Queenie shouted as a round of applause burst from Bashful's brothers, except Sleepy, of course, who was still curled up in the corner of the room and sleeping soundly.

Bashful was still on the bed and had the biggest, stupidest grin that anyone had ever seen on his face. Snow White had finally collected herself and rose to her feet. "I have finally found my prince," she announced before rejoining Bashful on the bed and wrapping her arms around him in a loving embrace.

Although Snow White and Bashful never married, they became a couple and made several porno films together, which Queenie and Bashful's brothers—Doc, Grumpy, Sleepy, Sneezy, Happy, and Dopey—marketed along with the crystal meth from their highly-productive laboratory...and, as they say, they all lived happily ever after.

*

© 2007, 2008 Songman60 Publications

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