After such a long wait I was finally here, I was finally looking directly at her. I actually was talking to her, thinking back it was hard to imagine getting here. The hours I spent on the computer, the emails and messages we exchanged, everything we did in complete secrecy. I thought about the lies I told, the times I told my wife it was just spam I kept getting, the messages were from complete strangers. I explained I just didn’t understand it, how I got so many messages.
As the day got nearer, I had to hide even more. I had to hide the ups and downs we experienced when we talked, I had to keep my emotions on an even keel. I had to mask the elation of a possible meeting and the crushing depression of another missed opportunity. I felt my nerves fray as the time, this time, ever so slowly rolled around. When finally the day arrived, I nearly bit my tongue as I explained to my wife why I needed to be gone for so long. Funny, as I drove off, I kept whispering to myself, “It will all be worth it, it will all be okay.”
Arriving at the parking lot, I had pretty well convinced myself that it would be okay. I climbed out of my car and quickly walked to the building. “I sure hope it’s all worth it,” I whispered. “It’s just got to be,” I responded to myself.
Now, I finally looked into her soft brown eyes as she blinked, blinked with long curving eyelashes. I felt a strange tickling on my forehead and wiped away a bead of sweat. She gazed straight into my eyes and said, “You have to choose which one.”
“I have to choose?”
“Yes you have to choose,” she whispered, moving her shoulders back and forth as she wiggled forward in her chair. “Have you made a decision?” she asked.
"I . . . I'm not sure," my hands began to tremble at the opportunity I had here. I never would have imagined I would ever have an opportunity like this, and now I had to choose. “I didn’t expect to have to choose, I just thought…”
"You need to make a choice," she said as her eyes slowly traveled downward. "It's one or the other, " she whispered leaning her head one way and then the next.
My eyes followed hers, down her nose, over her mouth and chin, past her neck and slowly, voluptuously downward. My hands continued to tremble as I considered my choices and I felt a bead of sweat begin to roll down my forehead. I looked left, then right, then left again, so unsure of which one to choose.
"My . . . my wife usually helps me with my decisions," I stammered, wiping the sweat from my brow.
She smiled slyly, "I don't think you need her helping you here." Her fingers moved upward, slowly moving a light brown curl off her forehead. She blinked her eyes, "Is there anything I can do to help you decide?" she whispered in a deep, sensuous voice.
I had to agree with her, this was not something I needed to get my wife into, hell I nearly killed myself keeping this meeting from her. I looked back and forth, considering the differing possibilities. Both were excellent choices, looking back up at her eyes, yes anything would be wonderful. I scratched my head and moved my chin around until my jaw popped. She was so beautiful, it seemed so harsh she would make me choose, but that was the nature of our relationship.
I leaned closer to her, my hands just kind of dangling in the air and whispered to her, "It's not . . . not like I can hold them both or anything before I choose is it?"
She cautiously looked around, first to her right, then to her left and then directly into my eyes. She whispered, "Here, let me take them out for you."
Trembling wildly now, I reached first right, then left, hoping she didn't notice my sweaty palms. "B-both are so nice," I smiled. "I've decided."
She stared longingly into my eyes, waiting patiently for my reply. “Which one will it be?” she asked.
"I'll take the pair in section D," I said grasping the tickets gingerly.
"An excellent choice, I hope you and your wife enjoy the ballet."
I smiled, "It’s a surprise, her birthday.”
“Well I hope you have a wonderful time,” she replied.
“Thank you," I said heading for the door.