Somebody That I Used to Know Ch. 03

"TONI!" Shit. Let's see how many women I could piss off in one day.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know no one knew." I was laughing, though. It was funny that we were both so caught up in our own worlds that we didn't see what was right in front of us.

"No one knew what?" Autumn had the biggest eyes, contemplating the question and answer as if she was asking me a question. I just shrugged my shoulders; this was her life, not mine. Autumn gave a resigned sigh. "Um, Sandy and I have been seeing each other for a month now." Had she said it any faster it would have been one long word.

"Don't look at me, sweetie, I just found out before I came over," I said to Miranda as she looked up at me. Her gaze turned back to Autumn.

"You are so lucky she wants to take me home. Tomorrow you and I are having one long talk, and you have a lot of explaining to do." Miranda's eyes narrowed as a trapped look settled over Autumn's face. Then a thought occurred to her and a mischievous light shone in her eyes.

"She's taking you home, huh?" Now she was flat out smirking.

"Yes I am; I'll drop her off on my way to school tomorrow. You can tell her then how close you and San are."

"TONI!" This is much more fun than I thought.

"Relax I don't know anything."

"What time do you have to go in tomorrow?" Miranda asked me.

"I have my last final in the morning at 8. I'll probably drop you off around 7 if that's okay?"

"Yeah, it gives me time to get my car in the morning."

"Okay Autumn I will be here in the afternoon."

"Alright, make yourself at home if I'm not here."

As we left, Miranda gave Autumn a hug and went to grab some of her stuff in the guest room. When it was my turn, Autumn gave me a lecture.

"She's always changed for the people she's with, but with you she's herself. She's been hurt before so please don't be like all the jerks in her life. I know you're a good person- Sandy talks about you like you're a saint. Be good to her and she'll be good to you."

"I will; don't worry. She keeps me honest, she keeps me alive, and she doesn't even know it."

"I'm ready," Miranda said from behind me.

"Here I'll grab those."

It didn't take her long to remember that we had a pending conversation but the smell of the food was a good distraction. I could just tell her right now when she couldn't really look at me or, at least, I couldn't see her judging her reaction. I did need to be open with her so its important for to me stop running and hiding and be face to face to her when we talk.

"Give me something, Toni."

"I promise when we get home I'll talk and tell you whatever you want to know. I just don't want to do it in the car."

"Fine but at least tell me what's going on with Autumn and Sandy. How did I miss that?"

"I don't know much. Apparently they've been dating for the last month."

"How did I miss it?"

"I think it has to do with the fact that we've been a little preoccupied with each other."

"I like being preoccupied with you."

"Me too."

"Toni aren't you worried about our age difference?"

"No."

"Just like that?"

"Just like that. It really is that simple. I've given you all the reasons why it doesn't matter. Do you mind my age?"

"No, not at all."

"Then why do you think I do?"

"My ex-husband was cheating on me with a woman at least 5 years younger than me. I guess I don't want you to leave me too." Everything in that moment changed. I finally understood and processed why she was so hesitant for us to be anything. She thought she was too old for me all along. I'm guessing my first comment didn't help.

"You know that's partly my fault and my dumb comment. I'm really sorry honey; I meant you no harm. I was just being an ass cause I was hurt." We had finally arrived at my place and I parked in the underground lot. "Can we pretend we're both 25?"

"No, Toni, you can stay 21. I don't mind. I just worry about you not liking my age."

I went around to her door and helped her out, grabbing her bag, the food, and her flowers. I needed just a few seconds to think about how to assure her that I didn't care about it.

"You're really quiet," she commented as we got to my place and I let her in.

"It's really small but you can have the bed."

"Its perfect for you," she said as she looked around with approval. "You're really neat."

"Did you expect a mess?"

"Actually I expected for you to talk to me about what happened."

"I really hurt you." I couldn't even look at her. I set everything down and went to the kitchen to get some drinks. "Make yourself comfortable and pick a plate."

Thankfully, she let me be for the moment. She sat on my bed, taking out the food and setting everything out for us. I finally gathered my wits and brought our drinks.

"Can we share the food, both plates look good?" she asked with a gleam in her eyes.

"Yea, of course."

I sat down and set down two cokes and two waters. Soda and water are staples at my house. Jada and Sandy love coke and I live off water.

"I freaked because Sylvia called me a player when we first- you know. Then when I saw her recently it was like she figured out the truth and then blamed me for giving up. I felt like I knew where you were headed and it hurt. It just feels like sometimes the people I think know me say something that hurts." I blurted everything out in a rush.

"I know it wasn't what you expected to hear and I swear I can understand now why you reacted the way you did, but I just don't know if we can do this."

"Okay."

"I'm not saying no. I just want to... WAIT. Okay? Like, okay, fine? Whatever, it doesn't matter, OKAY?"

"Don't get upset. I tried and it didn't work for me once again. What can I say? I don't want you to come up with every excuse in the book as to why we won't work. I've already done that and yet I still took a chance." I felt crushed. I don't get it, I really don't. Why do I fall for the ones I can't have?

I started eating the plate closest to me. This is dumb. I thought we were on the same page and yet here I am about to spend the night at my studio with someone who doesn't know if she can do this. We haven't even done anything! We couldn't fucking get past dinner so how can we have a stupid relationship. I honestly thought it was time to change, I was so wrong.

We ate dinner in silence and I cleaned up everything before taking out the trash. I hadn't smoked since I was sixteen, but, for once, I wish I still had a cigarette somewhere. I didn't want to go back inside; I didn't want to face the truth. All this build up and all this work for nothing.

****************************

Miranda

Some how I keep pushing her away. All she wants is for us to work, and I keep being this stubborn person. When I am supposed to be stubborn I am passive. I want her, there is no denying that- but can it work? I mean, there are so many differences between us. As I go down the list of everything that could go wrong, everything falls into place.

I guess this is a moment of Clarity for me. The light went off and heaven's gate opened. She's thought about all the con and she still asked me out. She wants me and she's willing to try for me.

I knew what I had to do and that included apologizing for being so dumb.

She was taking out the garbage and I had a feeling she would take longer than necessary. The tension between us was growing and I needed to calm her fears. I went to the bathroom and freshened up, taking off my make up. I wish I would have planned on seducing her; I would have worn something more appropriate. Well I'll just have to rely on my body to do the work.

I took off my bra and panties before putting my pajamas back on and waiting on the bed. I intentionally left my buttons undone, exposing myself whenever I moved.

I turned off the lights, leaving only the bedside lamp on as I waited for her. I looked around the room as I waited, taking in her personal space. Her room wasn't large, but it was big enough to be comfortable. The door was to the left of the bed and a recliner was in front. A big flat screen was directly in front of her bed mounted on the wall. I sat facing the door and hoping she would at least look at me as she came. When she finally did, she came in and closed the door, trying to walk past me without looking.

"I just need to get my wallet. I'll be back in a few."

"You're going to leave me alone in your apartment."

"I did ask you to spend the night and I need to go buy something so..."

As I took a good long look at her, I saw the woman I had fallen for. She wasn't just Toni, a sexy woman with more swag than anyone else. She wasn't just a gorgeous piece of ass that I knew could rock my world in bed. I saw her for who she was, vulnerable yet strong. She was respectful, loyal, and understanding, worthy of all the love this world could give her.

I stood up and had to stand on my toes to get close. I wrapped my arms around her neck but she kept hers at her side. There was a questioning sadness in her eyes that I wanted to make sure I never saw again.

"Toni Martinez will you date me and only me?" There was that smile I had grown to love. "Through thick and thin, when life gets us down, when other girls want you and when I'm looking older, will you still date me and only me?" She finally wrapped her arms around my waist and pulled me up closer.

"Promise me it'll be just you and me," she said, her voice husky. I said yes the only way I knew how- I kissed her. It was different from any other kiss in my life because I knew in that moment that I was where I had belonged all along.

"I promise."

"Then I would love to date you and be your girl." She bent down to pick me up and lay me on the bed.

"A girl could get used to this kind of treatment."

"Good because it'll only get better from today forward." She took off her sweatshirt and she was wearing a muscle shirt and a sports bra. She dropped her pants and was left in a sexy pair of boxer briefs as she crawled onto the bed. "May I sleep with you?"

"Just sleep?" I asked flirtatiously as she pulled my shirt apart at the buttons allowing her a full frontal of my chest. Her smile became even bigger.

"Yes, just two women sharing a bed." Was she serious? She laid on top of me, resting on her forearms. She kissed my ear, down my neck, and along my collarbone. Having her on top was enough to make me smile all night, but to feel the warmth of her skin in contact with mine was the calm before the storm. I knew that she would make me feel things I didn't know existed- but all in its due time.

"Su bellesa es una obra de arte. Por fuera todos pueden admirar su bellesa. Pero cuando una persona se acerca y mira la bellesa que tiene en frente, solo entonces reconoce la precisiosidad, la hermosura y el encanto por si mismo."

(You're beauty is a work of art. On the outside everyone can admire your beauty. But when someone gets closer and looks at the beauty in front of them only then can they recognize the value and worth, the preciousness, the beauty, and charm for themselves.)

I am already in love with you, Toni, and you only make me fall deeper into your spell, I whispered to her in my thoughts. I pulled her into me holding her close. I knew neither of us were ready to admit how we truly felt to each other but we both knew and words just weren't necessary.

"No one has ever said anything like that to me."

I placed my hands on her thighs before working them up to her back. She was perfect in every way shape and form.

"You're beautiful, Miranda."

"Toni." I moaned her name and she was loving it, her smile only getting bigger.

"I've never had a girlfriend before," she said while kissing the opposite ear from where she had started. "I want to make sure I do everything right." She stopped kissing me and laid half on me, half next to me. "So as much as I want to make love to you and show you how much I have dreamed of this moment, I will take my time and wait just a little longer until we are both in a state of mind that isn't filled with lust and loneliness."

How do you say no to that? How do you force someone to just jump your bones when they have been so sweet? You don't, you just fall for them even harder and appreciate what you have, because someone this loyal is rare to find. I couldn't help but sigh, and she just cracked a smile for me.

"Who knew that you would be the one to make me wait?"

"You're special, Miranda, and I can't help but treat you as such."

"Toni, Toni, Toni... you are one charming woman." She laughed and gave me a kiss. A small simple kiss.

"Thank You. Now I have my last final tomorrow and you have to work. So we need to go to sleep."

She laid next to me as I turned on my side facing away from her. I could feel her press her body against mine as she wrapped her arms around me, pulling me closer. I was safe. I was where I longed to be.

"Good Night, Toni." She came closer to my neck, inhaled, and kissed me.

"I could get used to that smell. Good night, Miranda." I fell asleep with a smile on my face because I knew that Toni would take care of me. Even as she said she wanted to take it slow, her hands were causing chaos with in me. The way she would just trace the underside of my breast or caress my hip bones or rub my stomach. She wanted me and I loved knowing she couldn't resist me.

You never know what you've been missing until you have it in your life. I'd been missing tranquility in my life, a sense of belonging and being wanted and needed. I exhausted myself daily for the past ten years in order to go to sleep some time after midnight. Here I was for the first time in a long time sleeping the sleep of the dead. I didn't wake up until the alarm went off at 4:30 in the morning.

"Toni, it's too early, baby," I grumbled, pulling the covers over my head.

"Morning, beautiful." She gave me a kiss on my cheek before getting out of bed. "I'm gonna go to the gym but I'll be back around 6 to take a shower and get ready. Do you want me to put an alarm for you?" Who can argue with someone this sweet?

"Yes, please, for 5:45." She kissed me one last time and went to get ready. The last thing I remember is being sad that I was in her bed alone and then grabbing her pillow. It smelled as good as she did and it was this beautiful smell that I had grown to love. It was the smell of my Toni.

I woke up, showered, and was getting dressed watching the news when I heard the key in the door. I don't think I had ever anticipated someone's key in the door as I did in that moment. I knew I was madly in love with her. Did I think I should tell her? No. I didn't think either of us were ready for something on that scale. I knew this was all completely new to her so I didn't turn to her. I just wanted her to go about her regular routine, and I was so glad she had other plans in mind.

Toni came up behind me and kissed my back.

"Good Morning, beautiful. I would hold you but I'm a little sweaty."

She traced her hands around the trim of my bra. I usually don't put on my shirt until my make up and hair are done so I was standing in my heels, stockings, skirt, and bra with my hair done. I was supposed to be working on my makeup, but now Toni was working on me.

Her hands were tracing my back anywhere and everywhere she wanted.

"Toni, will you hold me?"

She pulled me into her body and all we did was stand there watching the TV for a few minutes. I couldn't believe how wrong I had been in getting married. This is what a relationship was supposed to feel like- knowing that where you are is exactly where you belong. The person's whose arms are around you are the ones that you are meant to be in. After a few minutes she gave me another kiss before walking to the bathroom.

"Toni, what do you eat for breakfast?"

"Anything with an egg in it, why?"

"Just asking. Hurry out so we can grab coffee before going to Autumn's."

"Yes, ma'am."

I finished my make up and made her and myself a sandwich with the stuff in her fridge. It was actually fully stocked. The one at my place had been empty since my staff left. All I had left was water, milk, soda and cereal.

I couldn't understand how I was so comfortable with this woman. I mean, I had been so worried about everything under the stars just yesterday and yet here I am in her house making her breakfast while she showers and gets ready for school and to drop me off.

It's been a long time since I have been even slightly co-dependent with someone else.

"Miranda, are you busy tomorrow?" I turned towards the sound of her voice and nearly dropped everything in my hands.

"Oh God." Shit, did I say that out loud? "Fuck." Here she was this goddess in her black bra and black GAP boxer briefs. Now she wore that sly look which meant she knew I was admiring her physique.

"I don't think I've ever heard you curse..." She came closer to me grabbing her jeans off the bed. "And you didn't answer my question." She had pulled on her pants and put on her belt before I could even think of moving my lips again.

"I don't know... I don't think I do... I think I'm..." Now she was pulling on a white muscle shirt and every muscle in that sexy body was moving. Toni's skin was super soft, not just feminine soft but softer. Now that I was looking at her muscles' movements I couldn't understand how it was possible that they were so prominent and she was still so soft on the outside.

"You think you are?" I lifted my line of sight back to her eyes. She was looking at me with one raised eyebrow. Oh, dear, the look in her eyes was not helping me recover.

"Oh, ummm... I'm going to stay at a hotel. I didn't know about Autumn and Sandy, and I'm sure they want their privacy. I just saw last night's message from the interior designer and the bedroom and living room sets are going to be delivered a few days late so I don't want to stay for too long." She was pulling on her socks and watching me speak. I had her attention.

"You know I like you right?" We both smiled at that.

"Of course you have made me more than aware of that simple fact." Why is everything she does so sexy? Now she was putting on her black Jordan's and adjusting her pants over them. Her hair had dropped over her face and I was just noticing that last night and tonight was the first time I had seen her hair undone.

I went over to her and knelt between her legs. She looked down at me before leaning over to smile at me and kiss me.

"Stay with me. I know it's small, but I start working in a few weeks and I won't really get to see you anymore. Once your place is ready then you will leave. But why stay in a hotel when you can stay here with me? I mean, it'll probably just be until Sunday so why pay for a hotel? Unless you want to." I loved seeing this side of Toni. It was this shy kid, less confident than her usual self and so doubtful and timid that pulled on my tender side.

"I'd love to." I ran my hands through her wet hair and down her neck, bringing my lips to hers. It was amazing to feel a shiver go through her body. She spent many nights with different women, we both knew that. But no one truly got to understand the creature within, the woman that lived inside her. She was an untouched soul waiting to experience life and I wanted to be her guide and she mine. "Now come eat breakfast before you finish getting ready."

"I'll be home around 7:30; take my key so you can get in. You get off around 5 so you should be here by the time I get here right?"

"Right." I brought her sandwich to the bed along with some water.

"No one's made me breakfast since I lived with my pops, four years ago."

"Well then enjoy because I rarely cook."

"Is that right, so am I going to have to be the one to cook for us?"

"Well, I think I like you just enough to make the effort."