Somebody That I Used to Know Ch. 04

"My dad's dead." Was all he could say.

Kanani quickly sat beside her husband and held him as he burst into tears. A grown man crying, he would've felt embarrassed if his soul hadn't been crushed.

*

Adam got off the plane, he hadn't even felt the flight he was still numbed.

"You ok?"

Ray's voice took Adam back in, just a little but it was enough. "Yeah, yeah. Just never thought I'd be back here."

It had been just over a month since Adam had been told his father had died. He was driving home when another driver, high on cocaine at the time, crashed into his car, Kieran died instantly while the other driver went flying out his car and broke his back, permanently paralysed from the waist down.

Claire had scheduled the funeral for December 31st, that way the whole family could be together when the New Year came around. Adam was on Christmas break so he was coming but Kanani couldn't make it out, she was doing overtime at the hospital and wouldn't be able to come. She was pissed she would miss her first New Years as a married woman but Adam had to go, Ray decided to come with him, he wanted to meet Alexandra again and introduce himself to the family. And so the two men took the long flight from sunny and warm Hawaii to dark and cold UK.

It's good to be home.

Adam hadn't seriously thought he'd never return to Britain but he never thought he'd be back like this. God it hadn't really been that long since Aunt Jane had died. Adam and Ray got in a taxi outside the terminal and Adam gave the address to his parents house, secretly he hoped the house had changed from the last time, he didn't want anything to remind him of his dad.

Thankfully Adam was given that small mercy, the house has been done up a little in the past few years, mould removed, windows replaced, new coat of paint and wallpapers inside. When Adam and Ray arrived the house was already surrounded by cars but Adam knew more would come, his dad had many friends and the family was pretty big. The door was open so the two of them walked through to the living room where everyone seemed to be, Adam saw from the doorway that his mother was sitting on a large armchair, surrounded by grievers and sympathisers, all of them crying with her, including Alexandra who had her arm around her aunt's shoulder.

Adam knocked on the wall, letting everyone know he was there. Immediately Claire jumped up and hugged her son, she held on to him and he held to her, both reminding themselves that they had each other. Out of the corner of his tear-stained eye Adam saw Alexandra hug her father.

After a few minutes Claire let go of Adam, she had cried into his shoulder without either of them realising.

"You ok mum?"

"Yeah, no... I don't know, I can't believe he's actually gone, just like that. I didn't even say goodbye."

"I miss him too mum."

The mother and son hugged again before they brought Adam inside and introduced him to everyone. Adam hadn't seen any of these people since Jane's funeral three years ago, some even longer. Of course everyone knew he had slept with his cousin and gave him dirty looks until they found out he was married and living in Hawaii.

Adam felt sorry for Lexi, she had to deal with these dirty looks on a daily basis, but he could see her on the other side of the room happily introducing Ray as her father. He smiled, Lexi was thick-skinned and could take a few dirty looks but she reverted back to a child trying to please her daddy when she was with Ray.

"I was wondering when I'd see you again you cousin fuckin pansy."

Adam turned round and saw someone he practically thought was a ghost.

Liam Nelson.

The two friends hugged tightly, not having seen each other since Vegas. "Jesus Liam what are you doing here?"

"What do you mean, it's your dad's funeral, you're a friend..."

"No I mean... I don't know what I mean. God it's been too long."

"It has, do you mind if we go outside, I need a smoke."

"No problem."

The two of them took a slow walk outside, Liam lit a cigarette while they strolled around the armada of cars.

"So what happened to you?" Adam asked his former best friend.

"I got lucky for one. After I phoned you I found your hotel room key in my pocket, no idea how it got there, so I went back up. Those two fine ladies had nicked most of your stuff but left quite a bit. I'm sorry to say this but I sold what was left, bought a boat ticket back home."

"No worries, I'm just glad you're safe."

"I'm better than safe, I'm clean. Got home and went into rehab. Got out six months ago and haven't even seen the stuff."

"That's good man."

"Thanks. Hey listen Adam, about what I said in Vegas. About loving Alexandra."

"Look don't worry about that, you were going through some shit, I don't deny your love for my cousin. Hell you should go for her, she needs someone good in her life and you obviously have a connection."

"Cheers man, I might do that. I guess I should give you your present early."

"Present?"

"Yeah, I was saving this for later but I feel like now's a good time."

Liam walked to a dark blue car which Adam guessed was his own. Liam opened the passenger side door and took out a large book. Looking at it Adam felt his heart jump.

His scrapbook, the one that he kept all his letters and postcards from Alexandra when they were younger. He had taken it with him to California then again to Vegas where he must've left it. He had forgotten all about it and the sight almost brought a tear to his eye.

"I found this amongst your stuff." Explained Liam through the silence. "I couldn't sell it and I thought if I ever saw you again you'd like to have it back."

"I do, thank you."

"It's good man."

Adam and Liam hugged once more, Adam missed being friends with Liam, both had made bad choices in their lives and they drifted apart. Hopefully now they could patch things up.

The two of them made their way back to the house. "So I hear you got married, and not to Alexandra."

"Yeah, this girl Kanani saved me from her dad when I landed in Hawaii. One thing led to another, we ended up dating and the rest is history."

"Kanani? Native I guess."

Adam nodded.

"Right. Well I'm glad you settled down. When I was told I didn't believe it. I still don't know how you ended up on that boat."

"Maybe it's best we don't know, leave that dark night in the dark."

"Good plan."

"You heard anything from Maggie?"

"Fuck man, she's not letting me see my kids, they're growing up without me and I haven't seen them in years. I tried sending them birthday and Christmas cards but Maggie took them, she said I can't write 'From Dad', it has to be 'From Liam'. Fuckin mess."

"I'm sorry man."

"Fuck it Adam, it's your family's day, enough about me."

Just then the front door opened and Lexi appeared. "Adam, there you are. Hey Liam."

"Hey."

"Listen we're heading out to the church now, you wanna ride with your mum or Liam or what?"

"I'll go with mum, seems right that way."

"Ok." Alexandra's voice went quiet, Adam put his hand on her shoulder.

"You ok?"

"Yeah. It's just... God I wasn't even like this at my mum's funeral."

"It's fine, nobody's judging you."

"Please, stop with the sympathy Adam. I fuckin hate it."

Movement behind Alexandra caught Adam's attention, Ray was waiting for his daughter as other guests and family members started leaving the house to head to the church.

**

As people gathered to their seats Adam waited outside by the hearse. There was him, Liam and a selection of uncles and cousins, 6 of them in total, all of them were going to carry to coffin inside. Adam was in two minds, on one hand he wanted to get out of there, he wanted to just stay outside the church and watch the funeral from the door. On the other he wanted to stay, just to prove he didn't run away from everything.

Sooner than he expected it was time to carry the coffin inside, it wasn't a heavy lift but it felt like the weight of the worlds on his shoulders. It was so hard to think that this was his father's body inside, it hit him hard to hear about his death on the phone but to be this close, the death this evident, it hurt him. When they put the coffin down Adam couldn't step away fast enough, he turned away and sat down next to his mother, trying hard not to let his emotions get the better of him.

The priest stood beside the coffin, she looked out across the sad faces and smiled politely.

"Thank you all for coming. We are all here today to mourn the loss of Kieran McAllister, husband, father, brother, uncle, friend. I knew Kieran in passing but I knew him to be a good man, a loving partner to his wife of nearly 40 years Claire and a wonderful father to his only son Adam."

At the mention of his name Adam looked up, he had been staring at a spot on the floor for the last few minutes. He wasn't ignoring the ceremony, he was just trying to distance himself from it. Christ, even when he wasn't running he was running away. The next 20, 30 minutes consisted of the priest recounting stories from Kieran's life that she'd gathered from the family, how he met Claire in high school, starting in his job, the birth of Adam. They were all happy memories which Adam was happy about, no mention of him and Alexandra. The ceremony ended with a hymn and the coffin was lowered, even though the coffin had been closed Adam suddenly felt strange, as if finally knowing he would never see his father again.

Adam and Claire stood up first so they could stand by the door and have everyone offer their condolences. Adam knew he didn't look sad like his mother but nobody said anything, at least not to him. When Alexandra came up to Adam she gave him and long hug and a kiss on the cheek, for the first time in so long Adam didn't want to let her go, reluctantly he did though and kept shaking hands and hugging relatives and saying thank you to their pity.

Pretty soon it was just him and his mother leaving the church, heading to their car, Adam heard his mother hold back tears and put his arm around her.

"How you doing?"

"What? Oh, I'm fine. Just hard to think that I won't see him again."

"I know how you feel, I felt the same way just now."

"I'm still trying to get over this, I mean, I didn't even get to say goodbye..."

Claire hugged her son quickly and cried into his shoulder. He stroked her head softly and spoke quietly. "It's ok mum, I hadn't spoken to dad in so long, I can't even remember what the last thing we talked about."

That was a half-lie, Adam was certain the last thing he and his dad had talked about was Kieran being disappointed in Adam for sleeping with Alexandra. There was surely something after that but that's what Adam remembered the most.

The two of them got in their car, aside from the driver it was just the two of them, after their heart-to-heart on the boat they had a much better connection as mother and son and could easily talk to each other. Truthfully they both wanted to ignore the gravity of today.

"So how's Kay?"

"She's good, she's sorry she couldn't make it but she's needed at the hospital."

"I know, you told me earlier."

"Did I? Sorry."

"It's ok."

"You know, Kay and I have been discussing children."

"Really? Children? Isn't it a bit soon?"

"We've been together a couple of years and we're only talking about it. We won't be doing anything until I finish school which won't be for a couple years."

"You gotta be careful Adam, you've made some bad choices in the past."

"Don't remind me."

Claire smiled and kissed her son on the cheek, despite the depressing nature of the past couple of weeks she was happy to have Adam with her.

Back at the house Adam walked inside, still next to Claire, walking in he saw Alexandra and Liam talking to each other. Despite encouraging it, the thought that Liam was asking Lexi out on a date made Adam jealous for some reason. He ignored it and followed his mother inside.

The house was lively but respectfully so, it was a sad day but everyone kept their spirits up, talking and laughing with each other. Not many people talked to Adam, he didn't blame them, he was a cousin fucking runaway. A few people did ask him about Hawaii and his new wife but the conversations never lasted long. For the most part Adam stood at the back and listened to stories, Ray was a big hit, his stories about how he ended up stuck in Hawaii made people laugh and his kind persona made him instantly likeable.

The gathering lasted a few hours, a couple people with younger children left early but most of the people stayed, wanting to be together as one big family when the New Years came around. At about 11:30 at night Alexandra found Adam.

"Hey."

"Hey, you ok?"

"You have no idea how many times I've been asked that. I'm good thanks."

"Good, listen I need to buy a pack of ciggies, can you run down with me?"

"Are you sure you can't wait, I mean mum wants us to stay for New Years."

"Come on it'll only be ten minutes, we'll be back in plenty of time."

"Uh, fine. Let's be quick though."

Adam quickly told his mum where they were going and headed out with Alexandra. Adam ignored the cold and followed the path through the snow.

"So why didn't you ask Liam to go down with you."

"Ah, you saw that did you? Look Liam's a nice guy but we just arranged our first date, I don't want one right now. Besides I wanted to talk to you."

"A date huh. Well good luck to you two, you're both suited for each other. I mean that in a good way."

"I know. You aren't jealous?"

"Why would I be jealous, we had our chance and it never worked out. I love you Lexi but I'm not in love with you."

"Snap." Lexi said with a small smile.

"So what about you? What's going on in your life?"

"Not much, I'm doing some shit receptionist job at a bank. Thinking I might quit and go to school, actually get something out of it this time."

"And do what?"

"I don't know, I've never had a future career in mind, never saw the point."

"Well I hope you find something, I'm back at school myself."

"I know, your mum told me. I'm happy for you Adam, really I am. It's about time you stopped running and got on with your life."

"Oh so you believe I'm gonna stay with Kanani now."

"No."

And that was all Alexandra said before she slipped into the corner shop. Adam smiled at her tenacity, she was never one to back down and he admired that about her.

In the shop Alexandra had a browse, looking for something to eat, a chocolate bar, a packet of crisps, anything. She settled on a bag of Doritos, chilli flavour and went to the till to pay for it. Waiting behind a fat woman buying bags of chocolate for herself Lexi felt a cold air as some strange man stood behind her.

"Well, well." Came a chilling and unforgettable voice. "You look familiar."

Alexandra turned round, dreading what she would see behind her.

It was Cyril Moreno, the drug dealer that had supplied her and Liam during their heroin days and even forced Lexi to have sex with him when she couldn't pay for her addiction.

"Hello Cyril." She said as politely as she could towards this rotten sack of revulsion.

"Hello? After all we've been through together and all you can say is Hello?"

"What the fuck else do you want me to say? You raped me."

"I rather think not, you went in willingly."

"You forced me, you told me I had to fuck you to pay for, you know."

"I think you'll find I merely offered that as an alternative means of payment, you're the one that accepted the agreement."

As much as his poisonous words made Alexandra gag she knew he was right. The fat woman stepped away and Alexandra took her place.

"10 Regal King Size." She said, trying hard to ignore Cyril's sickening breath on her neck.

"I've still got some candy if you're interested, or maybe you just want to fuck again."

"Go away Cyril."

"Come one, admit it, I'm still on your mind."

"Go away Cyril." Alexandra's voice was much firmer this time.

Cyril got so close to Lexi his snake tongue was sliding into her ear. "Deny it all you want, you still want my cock in your ass."

One of Cyril's claws grasped Alexandra on her pussy, feeling her through her jeans. He thrust forward, letting his hard cock push against her ass. Suddenly and instinctively Lexi kicked Cyril in the shin, the sudden pain floored him, Alexandra spun round and kicked him in the stomach to make sure he stayed down. Looking down at the monster gasping for breath Alexandra ran as fast as she could, out the shop, past Adam and kept going.

When Adam saw Lexi rush past him he was confused, he looked in the shop and saw Cyril stagger to his feet, still curious as to what happened Adam followed his cousin, not an easy task since she was running to escape and wouldn't tire easily whereas Adam would and did.

Eventually Adam caught up with Alexandra, she was at the pond, their pond. She'd climbed through the hedge and was sitting by the water, looking at the moonlit reflection on the water. She was crying, Adam couldn't believe it, nobody had ever hurt Lexi enough to make her cry. A rustle of leaves alerted Lexi to his presence as he sat beside her."

"I come here sometimes." She explained to an unspoken question. "It helps me forget some things, reminds me of a happier time."

"Who was that?"

"I don't have many happy times, even this pond isn't the best, but right now it's all I have."

"Lexi. Who was that man?"

"His name's Cyril, he's a drug dealer. He supplied me and Liam. One week, when we couldn't pay, he made me... he made me fuck him."

"Jesus Lexi."

"I thought he was nothing, but he's not, he's just another mistake. One in my endless amount."

"Lexi..."

"No Adam, all I do is make mistakes. Everything I do fucks up myself or someone I love."

"I know."

A silence passed between them, it felt like the whole world had suddenly gone tense, waiting for the next word from Adam. There was no wind, no birds, no fireworks or cheering.

"Kanani told me about the baby."

Lexi smiled. "I thought she would."

"Is that why you told her?"

"Maybe. I don't know."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Why bother? I was killing the damn thing anyway, didn't need to bother you with the problems of the dead."

"But Lexi, you were pregnant. With my child."

"So? Adam it was a mistake, we weren't careful and shit happened. I took care of it, it's the past now."

"The past... Jesus Lexi what the fuck?"

Adam turned away from Alexandra, he resorted back to the mindset of a grumpy teenager and refused to look at her.

"All this time Lexi I thought you hated me, I thought I did something wrong. All those years and it wasn't even me."

Alexandra put her hand on Adam's shoulder. "Adam, I did hate you. But I never said I stopped loving you."

Adam looked up, he didn't believe he had heard her right. "What did you..."

"Adam the reason I hated you was because I loved you. You were the first man that loved me and that I loved back, every other time it was one or the other. You cared about me, genuinely cared, and I loved you for it. But we were cousins, I could never get past that like you could but I could never stop loving you and I hated that. My feelings were so fucked up that I took it out on you and I've regretted it ever since."

Alexandra hand reached up and stroked Adam's face.

"I love you Adam."

To this day it's hard to tell who made the first move but before either of them knew it they were kissing. It had been far too long since Adam kissed Alexandra's lip, her soft lips, a warm kiss, their love was strong, even after so many years, so much hate. They still loved each other. Adam pushed Lexi gently down onto the ground, it was cold and wet but she didn't notice. With Adam straddling her he took off his shirt while she lifted her own up and over her head, her bra was a simple one but Adam took pleasure in groping her breasts over the cups. Now shirtless, Adam reached underneath Lexi and unhooked her bra, throwing the damn thing away afterwards. Adam dove in and kissed and sucked and bit Lexi's breasts, it had been too long sine he held them in his mouth and he missed them, they held a slight sag to them and weren't as big or firm as in her youth but Adam didn't care, he could still stick his head between her breasts in inhale her scent, he loved it still.