Something Lost But Something Gained

Author's note

This story has little sex and a lot of fiction. As it is my first attempt at posting something on this site I would appreciate any constructive feedback you might have. I hope you enjoy it and I thank you for taking your time to read it.

Something Lost but Something Gained

The airport was crowded as I fought my way to the tram that was ferrying my wife Melanie back to me from the gate side terminal. I have always hated crowds and now with security everywhere I really detested it. Besides the crowds, what was bothering me most was my own mind. I had been in a quandary for months about my marriage and my future, oftentimes feeling almost like a dog trying to catch his own tail as I just kept going round and round without reaching a consensus. Even now I was still up in the air as to what I could actually do or if I should really do it. I know that sounds vague, but to fully understand my position you have to understand the dilemma I have been in for the last two months. It was then that my wife hit me with her devastating request.

The day had started out like so many others in our twelve year marriage. I awoke to the smell of breakfast cooking in the kitchen and had no reason to feel that this morning would anything other than another lazy Sunday, but I was soon to be proven wrong. I heard Mel call me, "Tim, time to get up! Your breakfast is ready!" I dragged myself out of bed and went into the bathroom to clean up thanking the heavens for giving me the life I had. Melanie was my second wife and when I got her I got a winner. She was a great companion and listener, loved to cook and was very aggressive in bed as last night had attested too. I loved Melanie like no other woman in my life and I felt that she loved me the same way. As I entered the kitchen she met with a steamy kiss that made me think that we might be in for some more fun later on but then she ushered me to my seat and placed a breakfast fit for a king in front of me. As I ate I could not help but thank the God above for giving me this passionate, wonderful woman as my life mate. Melanie soon joined me and we enjoyed a wonderful meal together. When I was on my second cup of coffee she let the bomb fall. "Tim I have something to ask you and I really need you to be open minded about it and not get angry. Also, you need to promise that you will let me finish before you interrupt. Can you do that?" I was taken back by the seriousness of her statement and I felt that she was going to tell me she dented the car or something like that so I answered in my best understanding husband tone, "Whatever you have to say I will always listen to carefully Mel. I also promise I will hold my temper and hear you out." She gave me a look that I had never seen before as it seemed to be a combination of determination and angst. Mel took a deep breath and started in, "Tim we have been married for over ten years now and I love you like no other man. However, there is a problem." My eyebrows shot up and I stuttered, "Whatever it is we can fix it babe." As I spoke I put my hand over hers but she pulled it back quickly and gave me a harsh look, "Tim I need to say this and I can't have you interrupting me every minute. Now please just let me get through this!" Her tone had gone from nervous to shrill which had shocked me so that I just numbly nodded my head like one of those stupid dolls you see on a dashboard. She looked me directly in the eyes and continued on with a grim determination, "Tim, I love you and never want to hurt you or break up, but I have a compulsion that I need to work through." She stopped as she was about to cross over a bridge from which there was no turning back and took a deep breathe and in a very quick manner blurted out her next words. "Tim I have met another man and I want to make love to him but I don't want to do it behind your back." I started to react to this but she cut me off, "Tim, you promised, let me finish, please. Look... I didn't want this but I can't help it. This man is in my thoughts and my fantasies every waking moment and I can't fight it anymore. I want to make love to him to get him out of my mind and I want your permission." I felt like I'd just been slammed by in the head by a prize fighter, I just looked at her praying that this was a joke, "Are you kidding me Mel?" Her face told me she was serious as she continued, "Listen Baby, I love you more than life itself and would never leave you but this guy had gotten under my skin and I need to see it through. I promise you that once I have gotten him out of my system then I will go back to being your faithful wife and this will only be a one time thing." I was confused and frustrated and I lashed out more vociferously than I should have, "Who is he!" Her face showed concern as she replied, "That doesn't matter and I will never tell you about him. Now, before you ask, let me try to answer those questions that are probably running through your mind right now. First and foremost I am not in love with him and no, we have never done anything except kiss." I could feel the anger welling up in me like lava trying to escape a volcano and I knew she could see it too as she cut me off before I could explode, "Listen to me Tim and be rational. If you don't let me have this fling what are your options? Well, you could divorce me but since I haven't done anything except talk about it you will lose a lot in the courts and you know it. Second, you could track him down and regain your masculine pride by beating him up. Even if you win that would land you in jail for a year to a year and a half and it still would not stop me from sleeping with him. Finally, you could take out your anger on me but that again would only bring you trouble with the law, end our marriage and not stop me from sleeping with him." I was now madder than ever and it showed, this was not a spur of the moment idea as she had really thought this one out. I looked at her with anger written in my eyes as I replied in a voice filled with rage and determination, "No! This is as far as it goes Mel!" After this initial outburst I managed to calm myself down as I continued, "You just can't do it! What if he has a disease? What if he is a pervert? What if you fall in love with him? What if you can't stop? There are more serious problems involved than you getting an itch out of you panties! This is our whole marriage here! How do you think I will ever be able to trust you ever again?" She gripped her coffee mug tightly as she looked pleadingly into my eyes, "I have thought of all those things and that is why I am asking you for your permission. You want to know if you can trust me. Well, if I was just out to cheat I could very well have done it and you'd never have known but here I am asking you for your permission to do something that will affect both of our lives. I have been nothing but honest here, so, yes I think you can continue to trust me in the future. As for falling in love, you don't have to worry about that as this is purely physical. Also he is clean and not a pervert. Listen babe, once I have gotten this out of my system I will spend years making it up to you, I promise. Please Tim. Give me this!" My voice reflected my worry as in a low ominous voice I said, "Do you realize the danger you're putting our marriage in Mel?" She only nodded and then added almost as a postscript, "Yes I do, but I also know you and I know our love for each other and I feel we can work through this together. Besides, the genie is out of the bottle now, so either way, by divorce or consent I am going to sleep with another man." Her last statement left me feeling hollow and I just couldn't look at her anymore so I left the table to work in the yard. That day I worked like a madman but could find no way out of the situation. I felt like a rat in maze from which there was no escape. I knew my wife, and through our marriage I had seen firsthand how determined she could be when she wants something bad enough. When Mel said she would divorce me to sleep with this clown I knew it was not a bluff. On the economic side of things, as this was a community property state I would be taken to the cleaners in a divorce and lose most of what I had worked for over the last twelve years. Mel had left me alone during that day to work out my demons but when I came in for dinner she was patiently waiting, "Have you reached your decision Tim?" I felt exhausted and defeated so I only asked, "What are your plans if I did agree?" Mel's face lit up like a kid who has found out she is being taken to Disneyland for vacation, "Well, we decided that we could just get a hotel room in town for next Saturday and come back home the next day. That way we could spend time together and you wouldn't have to see it or hear anything." The pain in my heart must have been plain as I followed up my first question, "Will this be it then? One free pass and be done?" A shadow passed over her face as she hesitatingly responded, "Tim I can't say for certain. I might have him out of my system after one date or it may take a couple. Please Tim don't pin me down on something that is out of my control." She then came up close and hugged me and started kissing me, even though I was mad and disgusted I began to respond. As we were embraced in a passionate kiss she caressed my manhood bringing me to an erection and then broke out kiss to whisper in my ear, "Besides honey I want to start making this up to you right now." With that she dropped to her knees and pleasured me in a way she had not done since we were dating. Even dirty and sweaty she acted like she could not get enough. This was a whole new Melanie for me as she never even liked to kiss me when I was sweaty. When I started grunting and approaching an orgasm she pulled back and looking at me with a mischievous smile said, "Well Tim can I make a date for this coming Saturday?' At that point I would have given her my kidney had she asked so I grunted out my assent as she brought me to an explosive orgasm.

That following week was unlike any other in our marriage as Mel virtually raped me every night leading up to Saturday. By Friday I was exhausted sexually as well as mentally and I believe that is what Mel had intended. She on the other hand looked ten years younger and had a bounce in her step that I had not seen for many years. Also, she seemed to be insatiable in bed, extolling me to greater feats of sexual activity and telling me what a wonderful lover I was. If I did not know what was coming that weekend I could've been as happy as I had ever been in our marriage. Unfortunately, Saturday arrived and Mel was as excited and fidgety and as a kid going to the prom. She dressed conservatively but had packed a bag to take along. When she was in the bathroom I looked inside of and felt my heart sink. Inside was candles, oils and an evening dress, a pair of shoes that had skyscraper heels and some very sexy lingerie, all of which I had never seen. Jealousy and anger raged inside of me as I saw the filmy garments and knew she had bought them all prior to this week meaning that she had been planning this out for a long while. While my emotional state was on a roller coaster I kept my cool rationalizing that this will only be a one time thing and then we could forget it and get back to normal. Besides, even if I had said no she would have gone anyway, consequences be damned. That morning as she left she gave me a long sensuous kiss telling me how much she loved me for allowing her this time and that she would make it up to me as soon as she got back.

That Saturday was the worst of my life as I sat and drank and had visions of Mel and her lover engaged in all sorts of sexual antics. I know some men get turned on thinking about things like that but I was not one of them. I never got to bed that Saturday as I just sat in our living room drinking and thinking of what was going on and raging over how powerless I was to stop it. All in all it was a night I hope to never relive again.

That Sunday when she got home Mel looked radiant. I have never seen her so relaxed and she breezed into my arms giving me a kiss that got instant reaction from my little buddy. She grabbed me in the driveway and took me into the house where she again proceeded to screw my brains out. My anger dissipated in sexual excess as she did things to me that we had never done before. Previously Mel was always quite conservative in the bedroom but that all seemed to change. I really did not know this new woman but I must admit it was fun learning from her. Whenever I thought of her and him together I forced myself to concentrate on her and not to think about it. I know that ignoring the problem would never solve it but I was hoping that the memory of it would fade away and allow me have my wife back. That night as we lay together sated in our lovemaking she finally broached the subject. "Tim, listen I know we were hoping that this weekend would be it but I still need another time to get him out of my system. We are going to spend next Saturday night together again." I was shocked as I stammered, "But I thought you just needed him this one time to get him out of your system and I gave you that! What do you want now a full blown affair!" She gently caressed my face and talked to me so soothingly that my temper faded, "My poor Tim, I really have done you wrong my darling. I am so sorry sweetheart but this weekend did not cure my need for him. I really wish it would've, but it didn't. Please stick with me baby and I will get through this." I was furious but knew that trying to argue would only lead me nowhere so I rolled over ignoring my wife and tried to go to sleep. That night was the longest in my life as I realized what a fool I had been to agree to this in the first place.

The next week was a repeat of the previous one in that Mel tried to milk as much sex from me as she could. She was creative and using her imagination brought everything into play, lingerie, food, games, and even role play. For me, it was as if I had a new wife as Mel was so different sexually. When you have lived with someone for a dozen years it is hard to describe the changes that were emerging. Melanie had developed a confidence in her sexuality and a hedonistic approach to sex that I had never envisioned coming from her. For me, besides being worried about what was responsible for this change the experience was wonderful and that week was one of the most memorable in our entire marriage. That all changed Friday night, we were once again having sex and she was extolling me to be more aggressive when in the throes of an orgasm she called out, "Oh God Steve you are so wonderful!" Normally, I would love a complement of that type but since I was not Steve I could only assume that I was just the pinch hitter. At that point I knew that we really had problems but I was only just beginning to get a glimmer of just how bad.

The weekend came again and Mel left me Saturday morning with her bag just as she had done the previous weekend. However, this time she did not come home until late Sunday afternoon. She tried to mollify me with sex upon her return but I rebuked her saying that I was not up for sloppy seconds. That night she again approached me for sex and again I told her to leave me alone. Something was dying in our marriage and I feared it was the love I had for her.

That week she became the dutiful wife I had always cherished and with her continued urging we resumed sex again. I asked her if she was going away again this coming weekend but she said," No, I have had two weekends with him so now its time to take care of my number one man." My world seemed to come alive in that I believed we had come to the end of her adventures. That weekend was a marathon of sex for the both of us as I never saw her so aggressive or inventive in my life. By Sunday night I was worn out and as we were lying in bed in the afterglow of our lovemaking she dropped the bomb on me again. "Tim, you have proven your love for me and I appreciate all that you have been going through. I want you to know that I love you more now than I did when we were first married. The problem is that I need one more weekend to get him out of my system and I'm afraid it will have to be a long one." My world collapsed as I looked over at her angelic face whose eyes would have melted the heart of a glacier. I struggled to say something but what finally came out sounded whiney even to me, "But I gave you two weekends! Isn't that enough?" She again caressed my face and almost in a whisper said, "Tim you have been so wonderful to me through this. Few husbands would have been as understanding as you have been but I am almost through with this. I feel that a long weekend with him will bring me closure and I can get back to being your exclusive woman. Please darling bare with me one more time." I translated that speech into meaning "You are a complete moron for letting me do this but as you are such a wimp I'm going to go ahead and grab some more great sex from my lover," My emotions were on a rollercoaster again as I began to realize how much my wife really did not care for me so with a heavy heart I only replied, "Sure, you do what you have to." Mel noticed the tone of the way in which I answered and pestered me about being alright. Finally, tired of her questioning I told her good night and went to sleep.

That week Mel tried to again seduce me but I was just not having it anymore. She was nearly frantic by mid week as she had tried everything to get me to make love to her until I finally grabbed her hand while she was trying to fondle me saying, "Look Mel, each week we have screwed like rabbits and then you go back to him. Maybe this time you should go to him horny so you can knock him out of the ball park with your sexual appetite and finally get over it because I sure as hell have." The hurt and confusion written on her face made me feel bad but she withdrew her hand from my crotch and went about making dinner. The rest of the week was strained as she filled me in on her plans. It seems they were flying away for the weekend where Mr. Wonderful would pick her up on Friday morning and take her to the airport but I would have to pick her up Sunday afternoon when they landed. I agreed half heartedly asking why he couldn't take her home and that's when she told me that he had to meet his wife. At this point I should have been shocked but nothing that Mel was doing these days seemed to shock me anymore.

That Friday I left for work early as Mel did not want me to be there when he picked her up. I had no problems with that as I had a busy day ahead of me and so being the dutiful husband I left my wife with a chaste kiss and a warning, "This is it Mel, one way or another. Understand?" She nodded flashing me a glowing smile as she wished me a good day and telling me how much she loved me. I on the other hand wished her nothing. That morning as I left I will always remember the look of confusion on her face as I did not tell her I loved her for the first time in our marriage.

And that brings me to the airport this Sunday afternoon waiting on her flight to arrive. I am a compulsive about being early and this day was no different. However, I did see something that finally made up my mind. As I was waiting a man about my age came off the tram from the gates and was greeted by his wife. What intrigued me was the joy and obvious love the two of them shared as they embraced each other. As I looked around I saw a lot of love that day and it finally hit me that by her actions, what my wife held for me was not really love, or even respect and it hurt to unequivocally realize that. Finally, her tram arrived and she stepped off the car holding hands with a tall well built black man about ten years her junior. I was shocked to find that her lover was black as I just never would have thought that. The last straw came when she reached up on her tippy toes and kissed him goodbye. The fact that she would acknowledge her lover like that knowing I was in the crowd proved too much for me and that was when I nodded to the process server waiting in the crowd. Up to that point I had still been hoping for a sign that reconciliation was possible, but I now had set the wheels in motion that would forever doom that idea. As she spotted me she gave a furtive glance and spoke a few parting words to her lover and then walked towards me with a glowing smile. She was about halfway there when the process server stopped her and handed her the divorce papers. During the few moments she was distracted I turned and headed to my car so that when she looked back to where I was standing I was gone.