Southern Nights Ch. 01byTantala©
Southern Nights 01. – The turning point
Mary was so nervous she had troubles keeping up with the traffic around her. It was early afternoon rush, and a lot of aggressive and impatient divers all over the place. Normally she would be so annoyed about this that her adrenaline would be like that of a cliffhanger.
But not today. This was a very different day. Possibly a day to turn a new page in her life. At the very least a new start, that's for sure. She was on her way to a very important meeting. Very important indeed!
Even much more important than the corporate meetings she frequently attended, meetings otherwise so important to her career possibilities. But this was not about career. No statistics this time! This was all about her. About taking care of her own self.
And who would believe that a woman like her, Mary Gardner, a well- off redhead just turned thirty-eight, with a good job and now dressed in her very best suit would be nervous about meeting a 18 year old girl!? Still almost a child?!
But that was exactly what was up next. When she would just get out of central downtown and up past Sandy Bay, she would find a discreet place to park her car at the main mall, and then make the 10-minute walk down to another, smaller mall. Safety first! Up there on the second floor was a simple restaurant that normally wasn't very crowded. That was their rendezvous- point.
She cursed silently – a hissing 'students T!' - when she again got too close to some car passing by. It was impossible to keep her focus on her driving. Again and again her thoughts went back to the mails and chats she had shared with this youngster.
How fast it had all happened, and how afraid she was that she was being kind of set up, or that it was all too good to be true.... Somehow.
She had finally got the nerve to try to sit down and write an Internet contact ad. An ad where she would tell anybody who wanted to see exactly what she was looking for. Nothing more; nothing less.
She had started by trying to get an overview of the available sites by browsing through a lot of other people's ads to get some ideas about how to formulate her own text.
And that's when she happened to see the little note that she now hoped would change her life. It was well hidden among a lot of other ones with photos of varying quality displaying blot- covered faces or bodies.
This one had no photo at all; just a small, but very direct text;
Grown- up ladies for friendship and sex.
I like to give pleasure and make you lay
back and just enjoy.
I fantasize about this a lot, and hope that some woman,
preferably 30 – 45 would want to make this dream of mine
come true. I hope you won't ever regret.
That was it. Plain and simple...
So, she decided that before she would start to work on her own ad, she would try to respond to this one. Without any illusions she hacked out a few words and sent off to the specified email address. This child probably had several thousand replies already. This was exactly the kind of girl she had been dreaming of, so she had no illusions about being the only one to harbour such fantasies.
Actually she never felt she was much of the bisexual type. In the beginning these fantasies had involved a young boy as her partner. But then again a boy of that age couldn't know anything about how to worship a mature, female body without expecting anything in return, so it didn't take very long to scrap that idea.
On the other hand she didn't consider it much more likely that a girl would likely put herself in such a position either. Why would such a teenager be interested in being with a woman that to her must resemble nothing but a wrinkled granny? She remembered herself how she looked at such women back at that age.
It wasn't until she started to read about girl's lesbian feelings in women's magazines that she started to think a little bit differently about it. There she read about girls having fantasies about known celebrities. Some of them quite young, but also women much older than themselves.
The most interesting thing, however, was the most boring part – for most people; the statistics. A lot of these articles pointed to results of different kinds of polls, and even a few scientific studies, where those feelings were described in terms of numbers. Who felt what to whom? How often? How much? What kind of feelings? Ever tried something? Those kinds of things
What she could read from this, was that in fact something like 10 – 15 % of all declared bisexual girls had fantasies about women significantly older than themselves. Not because they were older, as such, but because for them they represented a mature femininity and elegance, which they were extremely attracted to.
In a country with, say 40 million people, an estimated 10% of the women were self- aware bisexuals. That was some 2 million women. Of them about 10% were girls having fantasies about older women. That was 200 000 girls!
In the beginning this thought was more frightening than exciting. She knew on her own that she would never have the nerve to make anything out of that discovery.
Not until she got quite drunk with her girlfriend Lorraine one Saturday night. They were joking and laughing about a good- looking younger man, and what they would like him to do to them. And then – just like that – she brought up the same thing about a young girl they both knew! Lorraine had more than hinted that she quite liked girls... on several occasions. And she had always been very open and direct about such things, at times even a little bit vulgar for Mary's tastes.
As it was clear to her that her girlfriend actually had had her flings with some young ones in the past, she really started to give it some serious thought. If she could do it, why not me too?! It is after all consensual, sex between adults. No one gets harmed. Quite the contrary. Somebody could end up being very happy!
On the other hand she was definitely no lesbian in her own eyes. Certainly not! So anything happening would have to be this special way that she had considered completely impossible. And that had made her forget the whole thing for a long while. Almost! Well... actually not at all!
She almost missed the exit off to the mall, and had to swerve her car over into the exit lane at the sounds of screaming breaks all around her!
Was something like this really able to bring her so totally out of focus?!? She really thought she had some experience in life by now.
She quickly parked in the huge lot, and started the short walk down to the other mall. The cold wind helped to cool down her body and mind. Ten minutes should be just about enough to calm her frayed nerves.
She and Lorraine didn't talk much more about her confession for a long time after that night. She obviously didn't think of it as a big deal at all. But for Mary it was an entirely different thing though, a matter of a dream coming true or not. The thought had been implanted in her mind, and there was no way she was ever going to be able to get it out again.
But her case was probably hopeless, though! No matter what the statistics claimed, she still had to go out there and find her little one. And somewhere deep down she had the feeling that they really didn't exist. Not really! More than most other people, she knew exactly what you can do with statistics! After all!
So the discovery that the young girl behind the brave ad really did respond, - and even quite quickly – was both exciting as well as frightening. Frightening because she immediately got the feeling that something about it wasn't really real - not really - and even because this told her that she might have done this many years ago, this simple step... - just like that!
Maybe she had wasted a lot of time - possibly many years of her life - by not taking the step earlier.
There was a whole mixture of irrational feelings from this; realism, hope, desperation, embarrassment, passion, - and anger... And new hope!
And; maybe she should have taken the time to formulate her own ad anyway. Instead of rushing directly into this, that is. Instead of throwing herself head on into the first opportunity that happened to pass by her rather monotonous life. She had always been the one to evaluate things carefully before making a decision; the one to check more places and other options; the one to try to get the best possible basis for a decision.
This thing; this dream; this girl. Again, she had to admit, it had her fully off of balance. Out of control. And it even drove her fully out of her mind!!
The chilly breeze didn't do much to cool her down. Her heart pounded and her hands trembled slightly as she hastily approached the mall. Inside she had to step by a downstairs restroom to check on her makeup and try to straighten up a bit before she continued to the escalators. She had to force herself to walk slowly. That way she wouldn't be gasping for breath as she entered the little restaurant. If she couldn't be as cool and confident as she normally was, she could at least try not to make a complete fool of herself. Not because of some girl... some common teenage girl!
Then she could see the door to the restaurant coming up, and she lost all the rest of the confidence she never actually had! What the hell was wrong with her?!? Why couldn't she handle a situation like this?!?
She stopped at a CD counter at the opposite side, and tried to get a peek inside without being noticed. It was still more than two minutes to go, but she had a sneaky suspicion that the girl was already in there.
As she roamed through the CD's without really seeing anything, she memorized the dress- code they had agreed on. She was wearing her dark blue business suit with her copy of the Ball Street Journal all right. Black purse, dark brown high heeled shoes, and deep red scarf with small, white dots. Bottle- green blouse. Check! She could see her brown eyes blinking faintly back through her red- framed glasses as she looked up to check out her hair in the window reflex in front of her. Quickly she swept a stray lock of her sleek dark reddish hair behind her ear.
Yes, she looked good! Definitely! And it shouldn't be possible to mix her up with somebody else in this outfit.
Could she risk that she would scare her off?
The little darling should be wearing very light blue, stonewashed jeans, and a white tee shirt with the word "Hartley" written across the chest. Dark red leather boots and matching belt completed the picture of what seemed to be quite a sporty and smart young babe.
The girl's response had been very promising. In the first mail that dropped into her inbox she had told her that she really didn't expect any answers at all. How she had felt that everybody else were much stronger and prettier than her, and that she wouldn't stand a chance in the competition. From the composition and the spelling errors Mary felt quite sure that she really was what she said she was. A nervous young girl with a hot, hot dream! A perfect match for her own heated fantasies.
But still that creepy feeling kept coming back. What if she wasn't really real? Nothing had materialised yet.... after all. She couldn't quite believe it, somehow. Not until she had her in front of her, telling her the very same things that she had written in her emails. Those wonderful words. Extremely hot words of love and sex and compassion on a level far beyond anything she had experienced until now. If she had got it right.
Of course it wasn't easy to say exactly how well they had understood each other. Their first communications had been very vague on what they were really expecting, and even wishing for in a possible relationship. And as they continued to write each other, it seemed that they both somehow avoided getting down to details. Neither of them wanted to be the first one across the line. Mary found this a little strange, keeping in mind the girl's bold words in her first ad. To "give pleasure and make you just lay back and enjoy." Just the thought of that sentence was enough to get her going, get her red- cheeked and soaking wet!
What the hell! It was no point standing here like some transient idiot. Being afraid to enter a small restaurant because of a girl that may even turn out not to be there at all!
She took a deep breath, checked her faint image in the glass once again, tightened the grasp on her journal and turned towards the entrance. She straightened her shoulders as she tried to thrust her chest forward, let her tits fill the bra properly and press firmly against the jacket. Look proud and confident. Walk with calm, even casual steps. Kind of breeze into the place. Like a world champion. Like the lady of a young girl's dreams!
Still, as she passed in, looking stiffly right forward, she immediately caught a glimpse of someone with the matching clothes in the corner of her eye. Her heart nearly stopped, but somehow she still managed to get over to a free table close to the desk.
There was absolutely no way she would be able to have a look in the direction of the individual at the opposite wall! No way! She got seated without looking too clumsy, and proceeded to unfold and open the paper she brought along.
The waitress was at her side almost immediately, and she ordered a black coffee. Strong! Definitely no cream and sugar now!
Her heart hammered in her chest as she let her eyes scan up and down the front page of the journal. Again she saw nothing except the faint contour of the same person over at the other side.
She had to get a better grip of herself before she would be able to raise her eyes and look over at her. She had to calm down. Get on top of this!
By right now it was completely impossible to even take a sip of her coffee. She knew her hand would shake so much that she probably would spill half of it. At the very least! So that would have to be the first test of her self- control; getting a sip of your coffee like a normal, sensible person!
On the other hand she couldn't just continue to sit there reading, without looking up. Time was up. After all she had come here to see someone! Anything more than another half minute of reading wouldn't be natural.
No, it was time for the confrontation! Time to raise her eyes and face a fellow citizen!
She took a few deep breaths as calmly as she could. And then she did it!
She started by looking at her watch, and then let her eyes wander over to the entrance, before continuing her perusal further along the wall until they reached their goal. Her!
It was her, all right. And she was looking right back at her! With a soft, slightly unsure smile. Obviously wondering why she hadn't been looking in her direction yet. Dammit!!
They stared at each other for a long, breathless moment as the world around them disappeared. Mary's journal slowly sank down onto the table; almost tipping over her coffee. The hammering heartbeats almost made it impossible to even keep her facial expression calm. She felt the pulse create small ripples in her cheeks and neck, making her feel terribly clumsy. And she was sure the youngster could see it!
The girl smiled broader, still looking innocently unsure. Mary felt she had to struggle to kind of break up her stiff expression to smile back. Somehow. At least something resembling a smile.
That did it. The girl's face melted into its full, warmest smile. A smile so open and natural that she looked like the perfect angel... like she wasn't nervous at all! Mary tried her best to return it, but the corners of her mouth refused to behave naturally and felt totally stiff and cramped. She had to fake a cough to avoid making a total fool of herself.
As she again looked up, she almost had to cough again, - this time for real - as she saw the girl getting to her feet. Oh My! She was coming over..... this way!
And then – just like this angel from above - she was sitting in front of her, looking right at her, whispering a short, warm "hi". In her right hand she had her Coke, as they had agreed, and her fingers squeezed the cup lightly as she alternatively looked down into the table and up into her eyes.
She was positively gorgeous. Quite tall, with shapy arms and legs. Sleek, silky, shoulder length, brown silky hair. Almost black eyebrows. Her skin was so well tanned that her look almost had a touch of Hispanic about it.
The white tee shirt still had a corner of the price- tag sticking out at the neck. Mary guessed that the girl had bought it especially for the printing of the 'Hartley'- logo in some red- pinkish letters over her chest.
Mary mobilised all her strength to come up with some kind of sensible response;
"Hi to you too! I've been looking so forward to meet you!" Again her smile felt stiff as cardboard paper.
But still she felt that it might appear a little bit more humane than her first attempts.
She knew she was the one that definitely should hold the initiative in their conversation, and tried to search through her memory for any of the topics she had planned to pick up on once they had met. The initial phrases she had thought about. Those relieving, relaxing and confident words that would set the tone and ease the tension that was bound to be there. Even if they both should have been Supergirl and her mum!
As the seconds passed and nothing seemed to come to her mind, her sense of panic grew. She had to come up with something!
"So, dear, now that we have met, would you like to tell me your name?"
Relaxing and confident tone?!? Hah! More like the start of an interrogation. And even not with the friendly voice she tried to put up.
"The girl got reddened slightly and looked down into the desk for a moment. Then she looked up and straight into Mary's eyes again.
"My name is Linda," she told her matter of factly. "Linda Verdale".
Mary took a deep breath.
"And I'm Mary Gardner. Original name, don't you think?!?" She tried to back her attempt on relaxed humour with a small laugh, but again it all felt rather stiff and unnatural, more like crumpling up a piece of paper!
Another short pause with a new attempt to get on a better track of conversation. The girl kept looking straight at her, but luckily she was able to flash her eyelids down when things got embarrassing too.
"And you're really 18!? You look so young, it's almost unbelievable."
The girl's blush deepened. Mary was sure she expected the question, but probably not at once, in such a straightforward way.
"Well... yes; Uhhh... I was eighteen three days ago, actually..."
"How wonderful! I...."
Again Mary stopped herself before she came up with another cliché- like remark. Making another attempt to get grip, somehow. Sure in time they would touch in on the desires she had expressed in her ad, but not just as the next point on the agenda, like a grey court referee... or a statistician. Not even when she could do so in a gleeful tone!
In the mean time she had to fill in with some kind of empty talk.... before she got down to the things she was dying to talk about.
A new wave of nervousness came and passed, almost like stings of physical agony! After a few deep breaths she felt a little better.
"Wonderful! You look beautiful! Lucky me to get to know such a young girl like you!"
Another rather clumsy expression, but at least the smile didn't feel all that stiff and unnatural this time. She could even hold it for a moment without her lips starting to vibrate from tensed exhaustion.
The girl had looked down for a moment, but now her adorable eyes beamed directly at her again with a shy frankness that seemed to allow her full view into the deepest recesses of her heart. Made her see that in there was a warm and gentle person that couldn't have anything but the very best of intentions. And with whom she could relax completely. Eyes so different from the eyes of her fellow colleagues and associates, hardened as they were from their share of experience from everyday life.