Sow Primer Ch. 07

Kitty cleared her throat. Once again she was standing naked in front of Carl who was sat in one of her armchairs reading a newspaper. She needed to ask him a favour, and she was not at all confident he would agree.

"I need to get in touch with my mum. I usually email her and she hasn't heard from me for a while now. She will be worried." Kitty spoke quickly. She needed to say it all before he interrupted her, before she heard the disapproving click of his tongue.

With an overbearing rustle of paper, he pulled the newspaper aside to look at her. He gave her a withering tired look.

"I told you, all I need from you is to concentrate on your lessons. I will take care of everything else."

She had anticipated he wouldn't accept straight off, so she was prepared. "She will worry and will come round if I don't answer her."

"Look, stop trying to think for yourself. I have sorted everything, I tell you. She did want to come round at first, but now she understands and accepts it wouldn't be a good idea."

Kitty stood there dumbstruck. What was he talking about? She couldn't take it in. She just stood there and stared at him, while Carl waited. After he felt he had given her enough time, after he felt she had realised she was not able to work it out, after he felt she had learned her lesson that this was nothing to do with her, that she should concentrate on her lessons like he said and forget everything else, he decided to drive home to her the reality that things had changed and would never go back.

"I emailed her using your id and told her you decided to train as a sow." He watched her reaction. Kitty stood there, still unable to take in what he was saying. After what seemed an age she whispered, "She knows?" Nodding and staring her right in the eye, Carl said, "Uh huh."

"I don't understand. You said you used my id?" Her head tipped fractionally emphasising her unspoken question, how could that be?

"You are not very careful about your passwords are you." Carl was looking condescendingly at her, reinforcing the unspoken accusation that she was therefore stupid. "Once I had your password for your bank account, I tried it on your email account. So I have had access to your email account all this time too. Of course I looked through the emails you sent, so when I was ready to let your friends and family know, by sending emails to them in your name, I knew how to make them read authentically."

"You told everyone?!" her voice was angry now.

"Oh yes. Some of them were encouraging and admired you for telling them. Those were the ones I think secretly want to do what you are doing. I am not sure you will hear again from some of the others though. Your mum," Carl turned his head up looking towards the ceiling as if he was trying to recall. "She was put out at first. She wanted to come straight over and talk you out of it. I had to spend quite a bit of time trying to convince her in a way that she would understand you were telling her this was your own decision. She didn't seem to know about your visits to the sow farm, well not at first. I think that was when she started to shift her position, when she realised that this was no spur of the moment choice. Then she wanted to come over and be supportive of you as you went through your training. That's when you told her you had persuaded one of the trainers from the farm to come over and look after things while helping you through the transition."

Kitty stood there speechless, shaking her head as if she could deny his words. Her world was spinning away from her, leaving her behind. Carl pressed home the point.

"You wrote to her very convincingly, explaining to her how much you were enjoying the way he treated you, that this really was everything you wanted and that you were going to do your best to become a good sow. I could see her wavering at this point, as she didn't want to get in the way if this is what you wanted. Once you told her you would give her regular updates on your progress to becoming a sow, she relented. She left it with the words, 'If you're sure', and that she would be there whenever you needed her. Well of course, ever since then I have been making sure she knows exactly what progress you have been making."

Kitty clenched her fists as her rage welled and boiled inside her. How could he? How could he ruin her life like that? She was so angry with him, but she was even more angry with herself. How could she have let him do this? She had been playing some little game, thinking there would be no consequences, fooling herself she was in control. All the while he was silently closing the door behind her. Heaven knows what her mother would be thinking of her now! She couldn't bring herself to consider how this would change things, how she would ever be able to face any of her friends again. She wanted to run away, to disappear, to hide and then as a cold shiver descended her spine she realised that the only place she had to run to was the farm.

Her breathing was coming in gulps, her chest heaving, her heart thumping, her cunt dripping. Yes it was. She was being manipulated and she should be furious, she should throw him out for what he had done; but all she felt was how stupid she was. What an idiot for thinking this was all a game. How everyone must be laughing at her. She felt destroyed, obliterated and there was no one to blame but herself. She had fooled no one but herself. Perhaps that was the moment when she started to suspect that much of her anger was really about her own inability to confess her desires to her friends and to her mum. Oh God, she still couldn't get over the fact she knew. Yet they had accepted it. She was the one still sore about her secret being outed. She could have told them, and she hadn't had the guts. She would never have been in this position if she had taken control, had done the unthinkable.

Slowly her mind was turning, she was figuring it out. Carl watched her intently. Her anger had roamed from Carl to herself for letting him do it, to her friends and her mother for accepting what he said, for not realising it was not her writing, and then finally back to herself. She had needed Carl to tell them, and that was the truth of it. She wanted the fun of playing the sow, but she needed Carl for the hard things she wasn't able to do for herself. She felt inadequate, diminished, lost in a complex world too hard for her. She needed to be owned, no longer for the sexual excitement of it, but a deep inner implosion.

"Don't you have a lesson to be getting on with?" Carl's voice interrupted her thoughts. She stared at him, her mouth still open. She should say something, she should voice her anger but she was too confused. It was so much easier to just forget it, to turn away, to lose herself in her lessons and forget the consequences. She was weak, she was stupid, she would run. Turning on her heel, she stomped out of the room furious with herself. She needed her lesson right now, she wanted to forget this conversation. If only she hadn't brought up the subject, then she wouldn't have known anything, she wouldn't be feeling this bad. If she just trusted Carl, that he had it all in hand, then she could just escape. The more she hovered there, naked before her handler – oh yes, that felt better thinking of Carl as her handler, the more she convinced herself that she could never cope now without him. She was just a stupid tart bimbo sow that had better get on with learning her lessons.

Lesson 3: Correction

As a woman turns into a sow, she initially has so much to learn! Try as she might she can't learn it all in a day, and that is why she needs to be trained. A sow loves her trainer. He cares for her and shows her how important she is, not just a member of the herd but a valuable commodity. The trainer also teaches her how a sow is to behave. Now of course the trainer is going to need a lot of patience, but he can't expect just by repeating to her what she has to do that she will unlearn the ways she has been used to in her former life. So the trainer has to reinforce the lessons. He does this by physically correcting her when she makes mistakes. He isn't angry when he is correcting her, he just knows this is the best way for her to learn: to take it all in.

A sow and her trainer learn about each other. The trainer learns to find the best way to teach his sow to forget all the lessons of the past and to adopt her new life, so she is ready and content and can feel fulfilled. That is his intention. The sow loves the treatment she gets from her trainer, because she knows why he is correcting her and that he is taking this trouble for her own good.

In this lesson we are going to explore the joys of having your behaviour corrected. By the time you are ready to move on from this lesson, you will have learned how to carry yourself like a sow. To feel the sow within you stretching herself and expressing herself in ways that others will recognise if they know what to look for. For the rest of this lesson you will need to find someone to act as your trainer. They don't have to be a professional sow trainer, but someone you trust, someone you have enough confidence in to let them know you are following these lessons. Before you approach them you need to realise that you are about to ask them to spank you, so you will both have to be ok with that. So think about who you will ask and when you are ready come back and listen to the next bit.

Well no problem there. He was sitting in the other room. Kitty felt a lurch in her stomach when sow Lauren mentioned spanking, but feeling as she currently did, the idea of some corporal punishment may ease her mind away from the burning shame that was eating her up inside. She pressed play.

Now the manner in which you ask your trainer to spank you is very important, and you must follow these instructions to the letter so that you behave in accordance with the sow lifestyle. When you ask you need to be fully clothed, keep your arms by your sides and you must on no account move them. Keep your face looking down and make NO eye contact. This is how you must ask them. The hardest part of this lesson is in the asking. You need to speak respectfully, and acknowledge that you are asking a favour of them to train you. So keep your voice respectful and if they seem reluctant you need to reassure them that you need correction. Explain to them how important it is for you to learn to live the sow life.

If you have managed this then well done you! You have made another step towards diminishing yourself in the eyes of your trainer and others. If you can do this asking in front of others, friends and especially members of your family then so much the better. If you find this too hard then after your first corrective session ask your trainer to make you do this, help you over this hurdle so that you can learn your place. The harder it is to diminish yourself in front of that person the more important it is for you to be trained to do it. So this is your first task.

Oh God, Kitty new exactly what this meant. She would be made to beg Carl to be spanked in front of her mother. Her heart pounded, she heard drumming in her ear as it burnt. It was impossible, she could never do that. She thought through again how angry she had been with herself for being too cowardly. She would have to do it, she would screw herself up to do it, but she was shaking from the very idea of it. Kitty took out her clit pump and worked furiously at her clit. The harder she pumped the more she could squeeze the thoughts out of her head. She could lose herself in the sensual delight emanating from her abused bud. She pumped and pumped, pulling with all her might as sow Lauren's words drifted into her head. She needed this pleasure from her tortured clit.

Carl wandered in. "I have some things for you to sign." He handed her some complicated looking papers. Kitty did not stop for a moment the pumping of her clit all the while she stared up at him. She could see the papers he was holding were important looking documents, but she was so used to signing stuff that she thought only of the interruption and having to drag her mind back to the mundane. She signed them off quickly to get back to her lessons and her pumping. As she lay back on the bed, Carl was looking at her signature on the page. Kitty felt a little unnerved first by the documents looking important and that he was scrutinising her signature.

"What was that?" she asked as casually as she could given her aroused state. Carl did not answer at first. He seemed preoccupied. He turned looking down at her,

"A lot of questions today Kitty? What's the matter, don't you trust me?" Was he annoyed? She felt afraid to be so openly challenging with them. After all he did look after everything for her. She felt foolish, and part of her didn't really want to hear the answer anyway. She had an instinct that it was better not to know.

"Nooo. I just thought maybe they'd close my bank account if all the money was transferred somewhere else." She was pouting a little as she said this, trying to make light of her comment.

"Don't worry about it Kitty sow. If I let your account run dry and they close it, then it just means I don't think we need it any longer."

"Oh." Kitty didn't feel any more relieved but she knew better than to pursue it. She also felt struck in the stomach when he called her Kitty sow, and that was happening more frequently recently.

"This one transfers the car into my name. Since I do the driving now, then I should take responsibility for getting it serviced and insured. Would you not prefer that? Also if anything should happen to the car, then there won't be any repercussions on you will there?"

Kitty felt the buzz in her groin and she didn't like this confused state where she was perpetually persuaded by the logic of what he said, yet this did not make her feel any less uncomfortable with it.

"Whatever," and she lay back on the bed with her eyes closed. Her pumping had increased in ferocity as she tried to drown out the significance of what she had just done. Her cheeks burnt. It was gone. She didn't need to worry about it. It's not that she could use her car any more anyway. Carl drove her when she needed to go somewhere. All the uncertainty, all the doubt circled around like vultures in her mind. Was this right? She didn't need to care, to feel the disquiet of having to admit she was unable to stand up to him. She could escape back into the pleasures of listening to sow Lauren's cooing voice as she pumped at her clit. It was so sensitive now, and she felt her wetness cooling her inner thighs. She told herself, by way of reassurance that she looked forward to this time, the best part of her day, when she could just switch off, have everything provided for her, and just keep cumming as she listened to her lessons.

Carl poured her a glass of water. "Here take your water. It will be your collecting time in about 90 minutes." He handed her a tall glass which she drank, the rush of adrenaline jangling her senses, the deadweight of fluids collecting at the base of her belly – her produce. She pictured a cow's bloated udder swaying under its legs as it waddled across the field towards the milking pens. The pressure in her bladder pressed up against her hardness tingled and tormented her in her mockery. She lay back on the bed, tugging and pressed play. Lauren's words tumbled into her ears and swam among the images in her mind.

Once you have persuaded your trainer to correct you then the next step is important too. Still standing before your trainer, while he is seated in an appropriate chair, you slip your hands under your skirt and pull your panties down in front of him. The reason this is important is it signifies your compliance for your trainer to spank you, you freely and willingly submit to them. Pull them down slowly, and think of them watching as you do. If they tell you it is not necessary just ask them please to let you do this. The act is your act of submission, your act of acceptance and it is a vital part of the exercise that you both fully understand the significance of the moment. Don't pull your panties right down either. They need to be stretched between your thighs about mid-thigh. You are not undressing but creating a special significance to your preparation for correction. In time you will learn to be excited whenever you are standing in this position, your panties half way down your thighs, waiting for permission to mount. You will find yourself so wet standing there prepared and being left to wait. Your trainer should make you wait before giving you permission to mount so that you may experience dangling on the end of their words, having got yourself ready.

Once you have permission to mount you walk across to your trainer and lean over his lap. You push your head down towards the floor so that your rump rises across their knees and you keep your arms by your sides. This is the proper position for a sow to be trained. You should find your panties lie on their lap so that the whole of your rump is exposed ready for your correction. It is good now for your trainer to explain to you as they rub your ass smoothly and tenderly why you are to be spanked. Your trainer is using this to correct your behaviour. So initially this will be because you are to learn to submit to your betters as a sow, to learn the correct posture for a sow and to walk with the bearing of a sow. You respond to your trainer by accepting your need for correction, asking for further training and affirming your desire to learn.

With that your spanking commences. The trainer can decide when to stop rubbing and caressing your ass, and when to start punishing it, so that you will not know until the moment it happens. That first blow is so important as it knocks the old beliefs out of the sow, the shock and pain together drive a wedge through her brain splitting off the old truths and converting them into doubts and then memories until finally they become inconceivable rules that could never have applied to her. As you lie there accepting your punishment it is ok to shout, to moan or beg. Please make sure your trainer is aware that whatever you may say or implore of them, that it is your desire they take no notice and continue your correction until they see fit to stop. The ownership of your corrective training belongs to your trainer, the sow has no say at all. An important part of this lesson is to listen to the next part of this lesson during your punishment. So you will need to keep your earphones on.

I wish to be a sow.

I wish to learn the ways of a sow.

I am suffering this correction willingly as I want to learn.

My trainer is more important than I am.

My trainer decides what I need to learn and how.

I am grateful to my trainer for the rawness I feel.

I love to embrace my punishment.

I need to embrace my punishment.

My punishment reminds me of my desire to be a sow.

My punishment is changing the way I think.

My punishment is moulding my behaviour.

Each time I lose a little of my former self.

Each time I am a step closer to becoming a sow.

I want people to see me as a sow.

I want people to treat me as a sow.

This is helping me to learn.

This is helping me to listen to my desires.

This is helping me to accept what I am and not pretend.

How did your punishment go? Is your bottom sore now? Isn't it a delicious feeling, the heat radiating from it, the inability to sit down without inflaming it further? Maybe you found it exciting, but if not don't worry. That is something you can work on now with your trainer. The very first and most important part of your training is to teach your body this is a natural thing and you should feel excited. Your trainer can work with you to find ways that help teach yourself this. Perhaps they can get you to rub your clitty as they spank you, or they may do that themselves and have you hold on to the chair so that you won't fall as the blows land. However you decide together the best way to train your body, this is your first goal.