Stupid Cupid

"Wah dah hell!" she shouted obtusely. He had her lip between his teeth.

Using her last resort she drove her knee into his crotch. He released her, moaning in pain and she scrambled up, searching for her purse. She was about to run when curiosity held her back. This wasn't Cupid like behavior. In fact this was a new low, even for him.

"What the hell is your problem?" she shrieked as he cradled his balls.

He looked up at her, his eyes bursting with emotion. Frowning she took a step back.

"I love you," he said breathlessly. "I love the way you moved backward, the way your eyes widened in shock, the frown that suddenly appeared on your face and grows more prominent each second. I love everything about you sweet Selene."

"No."

"Yes."

He forced himself to stand and reached out for her but she swatted his hand back like a striking serpent. He wasn't deterred. Still holding his injured manhood he hobbled towards her and feeling like shit, Selene let him.

"Your arrow," she mumbled. "It's because it was your arrow that I thought it wouldn't count. I didn't realize they could work on you! You're Cupid! That's like a snake being poisoned by its own poison."

Selene looked at him but his eyes were as dull as a doorpost. God he was next to her.

"Actually," she mused. "Now that I think about it, in my research I looked up you and Psyche and you accidentally pricked yourself then. Stop touching me. So technically, I did know you could be infected. But I forgot—Stop touching me!"

"But, you're so soft."

Oh hell. Standing firmly with all the authority she could muster she made some distance then pointed a threatening finger at the god.

"I will stick my hard foot up your soft ass if you keep touching me! We have to find a way to fix this. Focus Cupid!"

"It's Eros," he said, standing up fully. Darn it, she had given him time to recover. His dark eyes fixed on her and she gulped.

"And I want to touch you Selene," he purred, stalking forward like a cat. "I want more than a simple touch. I want your body, your mind...I want you to give me everything."

"Not in this lifetime."

"Try and stop me."

Being that he was twice her size Selene decided now would be an opportune time to run.

Turning on her heels she raced to where the people were. If she could get to the street a taxi would take her to safety.

She yelped as he plucked her up by the back of her shirt and pushed her against a tree. Gasping she stiffened as his body pressed her against it and he took her lips with his own. His hot mouth made her tingle and she struggled to keep calm and unaroused. So far she saw failing. Turning her head she whimpered when he simply began kissing her neck in desperate languishing pecks.

"Why fight? Don't you love me?" he rasped.

"No!" she growled. "Get off of me!"

"I don't believe you," he breathed, stealing a kiss from her lips again and fumbling with her pants zipper. She wiggled and bit his arm in protest.

"Don't you dare! Don't make me hurt you!"

"You have to love me," he said, relinquishing her zipper in hopes that she would stop gnawing at his arm. He could tell she really didn't want to draw blood so she was pretty much gumming him.

How cute.

"You looked straight at me when that arrow pricked your finger."

"I thought the arrows had to be shot."

"I lied. I just really wanted to shoot you."

She gasped. "You bastard!"

Harnessing supernatural female rage, Selene pushed him back with her left arm and drove a pummeling blow with her right fist straight into his gorgeous godly face.

"HA! Did you see that! Right cross straight to the moon!"

Ares smiled, eating popcorn as he, his wife, Anteros and Hedone watched Eros battle his human. The god of war grinned when she followed up the punch with a headbutt. She freed herself but he blindly grabbed her arm and she kicked him again in his groin. He fell to the ground and she sprinted away, his hand up and reaching for her as he pleaded that she "wait."

"Oh ho!"

He looked at Aphrodite who looked sick to her stomach. "She's a keeper."

"But she's so violent," she protested.

"Exactly," Ares quipped. "Look how we turned out."

Taking that into account Aphrodite zoomed in the picture on the girl. She was jogging and trying to flag down a taxi at the same time. One stopped, letting out a man and she swooped in pulling him out of the cab.

"Move it! Move it! Go, go!"

She hopped in and the driver had no choice but to accept his newest patron.

"A bit rough around the edges," she said disdainfully. "She's a strong woman. You know I'm usually jealous by nature, but I seem to have mellowed with time."

"And you did suggest this mother," Anteros said, eating snacks of his own. He dipped his fingers into the ambrosia and honey. "And you also kind of caused it."

"I think she's pretty," Hedone said, dipping a pretzel stick into Antero's ambrosia.

"She is pretty," Aphrodite agreed. "Like Psyche, but much different than her. What do you think Ares?"

Ares looked down at Cupid as he tried to track down the woman.

"Geez. That's what the pretty boy gets for not letting me teach him how to fight. Bested by a mortal woman."

"Ares!"

He raised an eyebrow. "I think that's a trick question. If I showed even a hint of anything towards that human you'd send her to the bottom of the ocean."

Aphrodite looked like she wanted to protest but gave it up. "Eh, right you are."

"That's why I love you sweetie."

Grinning, she looked at her son as he picked up his equipment and darted towards her home.

"Well, my son has fallen in love. Shot by his own arrow."

"Right!" Anteros chuckled. "I forgot she shot him as well. She fits in if you think about it."

"So, you think I'm going to get a stepmother? Cause I heard they suck." Hedone said crunching loudly. Her hair was currently dyed an electric blue and she had gotten a ton of piercings. She was supposed to be going cyber goth.

"If an infant can be a stepmother," Anteros said, standing up. His time in the knitting circle was over. He had some work to do in Chicago.

"That's true," Hedone said smiling. "I am like 100 times her age. She might shop with me though. That'd be cool."

"I could shop with you," Aphrodite said pouting.

"When? You're always having sex."

"....Eh, right you are."

Ares chuckled. "Don't worry kid. You can have her in a few days, maybe years."

Looking down he saw that the chase was almost over.

When Selene pulled up to her apartment, Eros was touching down. She threw a 20 to the driver and yelled "Keep the change," as she gunned it inside. Bounding up the stairs she unlocked her door and slipped inside seconds before Cupid ran into her door. She slipped the locks in place and slumped gratefully to the floor. Her wards were still strong. There was no way he was getting in.

"Let me in!" he demanded, pounding on the door.

"No!"

"Come on Selene, please let me in! I need to be near you!"

She shook her head even though he could not see it. "Eros, just go home."

"You are my home!"

"...oh fuck me," she muttered underneath her breath.

"I will! But you have to let me in!"

"I wasn't talking to you!" she screamed hitting the door hard. "Get lost!"

She hit the door hard again and he fell silent. She didn't dare look through her peephole.

Eros leaned against her door and let out a sigh. "You'll have to come out sometime. And when you do, I'll be waiting. I'll be waiting Selene. I'll always be waiting!"

"Go home and tell your mother what happened," she said firmly. "She's an intelligent woman. She'll be able to help you."

"I will tell her. I'll tell everyone about our love."

"Uh huh, sounds great."

When he left her necklace went dead again and all her balled up adrenaline seeped away. Sighing heavily she kicked off her shoes, threw her purse down and jumped into bed. Selene was going to sleep. She was so done with today it wasn't even funny.

_________________________________________________________

"Mother! Mother! Goddess of love I have something to tell you!"

An amused Aphrodite watched her son land and run up to her like he was a little boy who had found a snail. How precious.

"Mother," he said smiling. "I have found the most beautiful woman named Selene. She pierced me with love's arrow and I am borne anew!"

"She hit you hard didn't she?" Aphrodite chuckled patting her son. "Come give Mother a hug, mother will sober you up."

Eros went and hugged her even as he disagreed with her. "But mother, there is nothing sobering about my love. It reaches to the skies and...and...oh..."

As the surge of emotion was tempered by Aphrodite's gentle hand Eros came back to himself.

"Feel better?" she said, releasing her less in love son.

"Much."

For gods the love arrows always had a more aggressive and violent reaction. Humans were used to such a surge of emotions.

He looked up at his mother with a frown. "Did I just use the phrase "borne anew?"

"Unfortunately."

He snorted. "No wonder she ran from me." Eros still loved Selene, even now he longed for her, but he was also able to see logic. That alone was enough to dishearten him.

"So, this is my life now," he said bitterly. "To pine after a human that won't even let me touch her."

"Oh she's just repressing her desires. Human women do it all the time."

"No," Eros said shaking his head. "She doesn't find me irresistible. I should be irresistible to her, I am the god of lust after all."

Ares appeared then, in high spirits thanks to the amusement he received at Eros' expense.

"Maybe she's averse to your human form," he suggested.

Eros raised an eyebrow. "My human form?"

"Yes, maybe you should show her your real form?"

Eros frowned. "Won't that frighten her?"

Even with Psyche he had mostly used his altered form. The altered god form and the human form were of a blonde blue eyed man with white wings.

"Why would it?" Ares asked.

"Um I have black eyes! Black wings, midnight hair! I look like the angel of death!"

"Or desire," Aphrodite lulled. "Stop it son, you know your other form is gorgeous."

"And the eyes aren't black kid. They're charcoal."

Eros had the same eyes as his father Ares. Apparently the color black wasn't good enough.

"Well either way I won't get that chance," he said sighing. "There are wards in her apartment and she won't let me in."

"Let me take care of that," Aphrodite offered. She knew just the person. "For now you rest and think about how best to approach her."

"If you want to talk strategy...I might assist you," Ares said stiffly.

Eros grinned. Ares wasn't really the fathering type but he did try to make himself useful, and he did care for their dysfunctional family.

"I could use anything," he said. "And we don't have to play fair. She's been a pain in my ass since the beginning."

"Now we're talking.

________________________________________________

Unlike her children Aphrodite didn't have any wings. Instead she had several chariots, one of which was a giant shell. It was fitting considering where she was going. She sat on the pearl throne she had crafted some time back and directed the shell to head south. She had dressed up, even donning her girdle. It was purely for fun. She never went out anymore, not that she minded. Arriving on the shores of Hawaii the shell opened its mouth and let her out. It was almost sunset, but one person was still soaking up rays. There, with a metal sheet in her hands, in a flowery bikini and shades was the witch Circe.

As she walked towards her Circe gave her a smile, her youth still upon her. Another beach chair appeared beside her and Aphrodite sat down, changing her outfit in a snap into a white and gold bikini with brown wayfarers.

"Oh I love Hawaii," Circe said dreamily. "The mortals drink out of coconuts you know."

"I didn't come here for that Circe," Aphrodite said, curling her unpolished toes. She frowned, now they were blue. There, much better.

"Why did you come my goddess?" she asked innocently.

"Didn't I tell you time and time over to stop posting spells on the human's internet sites?"

Circe chuckled guiltily. "I know, I know. I didn't put anything harmful. Besides I'm a witch, you know I like to share my knowledge. I have no apprentice, no children, no husband..."

"Keep disobeying me," Aphrodite dared her. "You'll be alone your whole life. I'll never give you love."

Circe laughed loudly, startling a bird. "You have in the past. You can keep it. I much rather prefer the men I can conjure up. Ever have a stud made of lava? And a donkey spell on the island boys to make them randy is to die for."

Aphrodite shrugged. She would have offered her love as a trade. "Suit yourself Circe. That's not why I came here. I need to know how to break a ward."

"Against what?"

"My son."

Circe chuckled and threw her metal sheet at the same bird she has previously harassed.

"The bird's are so pretty. I hate them. Ha!"

Aphrodite sighed. Circe the witch was immortal but even she was affected by time. In her thirty something body she was becoming senile.

"Focus Circe."

"Ah right...anti love wards. You know, I posted something a few years ago. It was only up for a day before the administrators took it down."

Aphrodite sighed. "A day is all it takes. What do I do?"

Circe grinned and leaned towards Aphrodite.

"Who's the poor sap who's afraid of love?"

"Don't worry about it."

"Well I'm going to need a name," Circe totted. "Then, you're going to need a tomato. Or a love apple as they used to say. You got a pen?"

A white feather quill and a scroll appeared in Aphrodite's hand. "Proceed."

"Ok my goddess, write this down."

_________________________________________________

"It takes a fool...to learn, that love don't love nobody! It takes a fool! Ugh! To leeaaarn! That loove ain't yoour best friend!"

It was morning and Selene hadn't had dinner the previous night. So now her game plan on this fine Saturday was to gorge herself with foods that required minimal effort while listening to an array of radio stations. And possibly soulfully join in on the choruses.

In nothing but a Billy Idol T-shirt, her underwear, and socks she finished her second bowl of cereal and began to think. What about lunch? Did she have hot pockets? Actually the summer was coming up. Swimsuit season. Did she have lean pockets?

The song ended and She's so High by Tal Bachman came on. Respecting her role as chorus maven she waited until her turn to join in.

"She's so highhhhh, above me! She's so lovely. She's so highhhhh, like Cleopatra, Joan of Arc and Aphrodiiiiiiiteeeeee...."

"Why, thank you."

Selene dropped her spoon.

Staring in shock she looked at the beautiful woman before her.

"It's good to know you've not forgotten yourself in the wake of my son's affections," she said smiling. "It is good for a woman to know where she stands."

Selene pointed at her before realizing she was being rude and stood up, regretting her attire. Yet she couldn't move, could only stare at the figure in front of her.

"You! You...you-your-your..."

"The goddess of love yes."

Selene had been thinking insanely gorgeous. Aphrodite had red glossy hair that went almost to her bottom. Her face was pale but rosy, and decorated by a small full mouth and a shapely body. She had hips on her, and a tapered waist that cinched in all the right places. Come to think of it, their bodies looked relatively the same. Was that...she looked up at Aphrodite who seemed as though she knew what she was thinking.

"Don't look so surprised. You don't think he'd grow up with me for a mother and not want someone womanly for a wife?"

"Um, he didn't chose me Miss...goddess Aphrodite," Selene babbled, bowing to her. "I- I shot him in the leg...with his own arrow."

"Please," Aphrodite said, magically pulling up one of her kitchen chairs. She sat and crossed her legs. "Just Aphrodite. And well, he did choose you, in his own way."

Selene took a step back and sort of hid behind her table. She knew what Aphrodite had put Psyche through. She didn't want to go to sleep forever. She was well rested!

"Are you...mad at me?" she whispered.

Aphrodite chuckled waving a hand at the girl's fear. Wasn't she precious?

"Goodness no child. In fact I'm very happy."

"What about Psyche?" she said suddenly. "I completely forgot, isn't he married?

Aphrodite shook her head. "She passed. Quite a while ago."

"But the stories say..."

"Too little. And you have little time to ponder on it." Aphrodite interjected.

"Why?" Selene asked suspiciously.

Aphrodite stood up and she cringed as the goddess ushered her forward. "Come here, let me look at you."

Selene didn't want to make her angry. Of course today of all days she had gone braless. Crossing her arms she walked forward. When she was in front she realized she was taller than the goddess. That was weird. Aphrodite didn't seem to mind.

"Twirl."

Selene sighed then obeyed.

"Hands down. It's nothing I haven't seen before."

Selene flushed and fought the grimace that was trying to crawl on her face.

"Slower...twirl slower! I don't want to see you dance. Yes...yes... I like this."

The last phrase sounded oddly sexual. Selene jumped suddenly, startled when the goddess gave her butt a firm squeeze. She turned around hastily and watched as Aphrodite laughed until her eyes watered.

"Oh! That was funny," she huffed, bent over in amusement. "You have a bit more than me on bottom, but I think I might be bigger on top so, we're even. Besides I think my son might prefer that."

Selene could only look at her in horror. She was this close to saying she believed in Jesus and this was all a pagan dream.

"Oh don't look so startled," Aphrodite said, waving a nonchalant hand. "I am the goddess of beauty as well you know. I admire beauty, as does your world. Preserving your beauty is an offering to me."

She reached out and lightly held Selene's face before turning it to the side.

"Hm. You serve me well."

She smiled and took a step away from her, her hands outstretched to the ceiling. "Now, I'm going to break the wards on this place."

Selene snapped out of her stupor and rushed up to the goddess in a panic.

"What? No you can't! Why?"

"And you are not to put them back up," Aphrodite commanded, giving her a firm glare. "Is that understood?"

It occurred to Selene that the goddess Aphrodite didn't hear anything she didn't want to hear. Her pleas were falling on deaf ears.

"Please," she begged her. "Please have mercy. You have to understand how I feel."

"My son will arrive tonight," she said in a business like voice. She threw some strange water in the air and chanted before Selene watched the veil of pink that had protected her for 4 years melt like burning paper in a fire.

"I'd prefer that you didn't run," Aphrodite quipped, watching the wards fall. Ah, the air felt cleaner already. "If you do it will make no difference, he will still find you. I simply want to warn you dear."

She went over to the terrified girl and kissed her.

"Don't worry dear," she said warmly. "I'm considering giving you my blessing. I never do that. Embrace the power of love my sweet. It's what you need. What you both need."

Then the beautiful woman disappeared. Selene stood, her socked feet sinking into the carpet in her floor. There was nothing to do but finish her cereal.

She sat back in her seat and turned back on the radio. Oh, it was Gharls Barkley.

"Oh!...does that make me craaazyyy?"

Eros arrived to a dark apartment. The city of lights glittered in, slashing the shadows with white and red light. Silently he slipped into Selene's bedroom. He could see the mound that was her body in the bed. It filled him with desire and a longing he had long forgotten. Striding over he took her sheets and threw them back.