Submitting to Tony Ch. 02

I had almost a 1 mile jog home to consider what had just happened. Living out a fantasy in real life had been exhilarating. So why did I feel so conflicted? On the one hand I felt a deep embarrassment or perhaps it was shame? The indignity of exposing myself and submitting to a spanking by this man I hardly knew. I felt fear as well. I had never been unfaithful to my husband, not that he would have noticed. I am not sure this was being unfaithful either, but I knew I was risking my marriage and perhaps my daughter too. I did not want to lose the security of my marriage, no matter how unhappy. Would my husband be so cruel as to take my daughter with him? What would my family and friends say?

I could feel the chaffing of my ass against my shorts as I continued jogging along the roadside. 'How could I have been so foolish?' I thought. Well, it was stupid and I made a foolish mistake. I got away with it, and I was safe- that was all that mattered now.

Then it suddenly occurred to me, 'I could have been killed!' What was I thinking about? He could have killed me and left me there. What if Tony had been some sexual predator, a deviant?

On the other hand Tony wasn't. He was soft spoken, yet firm. I liked him. Somehow it felt natural to submit to him. "He was married' I told myself. He was risking the same thing I was. 'No need to fear Tony' I reassured myself. It was bad, perhaps foolhardy, but I loved what happened to me this morning. It had been the culmination of an online fantasy, now it was real life.

It was a long jog home and I would spend the rest of that Sunday thinking about my first adventure with Tony. My husband had not even noticed that my morning jog had taken a couple hours. I suppose I should feel lucky about that, but it was a little sad at the same time. This made it easier to release the guilt: I was married and in a secret relationship that was exhilarating. I had wanted something like this for so long and I really felt good about Tony. He hadn't touched me sexually, but I knew there would be no limits. I would let him do whatever he wanted. I even found myself hoping he would push the limits. It would be a long day, back in my role as mom and wife, trying to pretend everything was normal. It was not. I was beginning a journey that would change my life. I just didn't know it.

Tony and I continued our relationship, primarily on-line and by phone. Online we could chat and he would give me tasks to complete. So far they were simple tasks, some vanilla, some more sexually provocative, but I completed them all. I especially looked forward to those times when we had enough privacy to do voice or cam. I liked to hear his voice. Reading my diary notes to him was stimulating. I could write things much easier now, but voicing them was a little uncomfortable. Mostly though, being on cam gave me the opportunity to see his approval when I had done well.

I was also required to maintain an online journal and record my thoughts throughout the day. At first, I did not do so well, and I could tell that I had not pleased him. He wanted more in depth feelings and I worked hard to provide them for him. It was awkward at first to write these things down, but soon if felt very natural. He expected nothing to be held back and I worked hard to insure nothing was.

I was faithful to his rules, the hardest of which was not to masturbate without his permission. Sex with my husband was almost non-existent so self gratification was the only sexual outlet I had. My new found lifestyle had stirred many erotic emotions within me and I longed for that release. I could ask for his permission by e-mail, but this meant waiting for his response. With no way to call him, my only other recourse would be to wait for him to contact me. Normally, he would allow me this sexual release, so long as I would later describe it to him in detail.

This was a big challenge for me at first. I had never really talked much about these things: Not with my Mom, not even with my girlfriends. Consequently I was insecure about it. Not knowing what is 'normal', I am not even sure how most women masturbate. For me, I always liked to stand nude in front of my full length mirror and watch myself. Tony seemed quite surprised by this the first time I told him. This did not help my insecurity, but I was learning to dismiss these concerns.

The most uncomfortable rule was the requirement to relay the details of my marital sexual life. I was not to initiate intimacy with my husband, nor was I to encourage it. However, Tony allowed me to submit to any sexual advances my Husband might make. Fortunately this was an infrequent occurrence, but I did not like having to replay the experience for Tony. Perhaps I would gain the confidence to tell Tony about my discomfort, but I didn't want to disappoint him. In the meantime I would have to share intimate details of what was often an unpleasant experience.

Tony would only call me at work, and fortunately I had a semi-private office. He liked me to masturbate at my desk while I talked with him. The other tasks at work were just as risky and therefore exciting. He promised that this lifestyle would not affect my private life, but he seemed to push the limits.

We progressed to meeting for lunch and I enjoyed these very much. They were mostly vanilla meetings, kind of like a teacher with his student. He would instruct me on the proper way for me to conduct myself and I felt grateful for his time and patience with me. He would ask many questions of me and I realized that he knew the most intimate details of my life and I knew relatively little of him. I was always to wear a dress for him and since I could never be sure when we would meet, this meant a change in my work wardrobe. Stockings were also not allowed, but the rest was up to me. I liked the changes I was beginning to see in myself and I looked forward to these lunchtime escapes.

On one such occasion, I was a few minutes late and spied him in the bar as I ran through the front door. He didn't seemed too annoyed, but motioned for me to join him. Soon we were at a booth waiting for our waitress to take our order.

"Are we ready to order?" A young waitress, very pretty, was standing at our table, no pad in hand.

"I'll have the salmon special," Tony explained. "She will have the lunch salad, no dressing.

The waitress tried to hide her smile, but simply repeated the order and was off to the kitchen.

"Go to the ladies room, removed your panties, and bring them back to me." Tony instructed.

"Yes Master," I quietly replied, a little embarrassed by the implication of his selection of my meal. I left for the ladies room contemplating this point. I was a little overweight and was trying hard to improve my appearance. I wondered if he found me unattractive. What hurt more was the nastiness in his voice, I hadn't seen that before and I didn't like it. I know I was conflicted because I had feelings for him. I promised myself this would not happen, and resolved to focus on serving him. Still I wanted to do more for him, though I was not sure how he felt about me.

When I reached the ladies room I entered an empty stall, peed, and pulled my panties the rest of the way off as instructed. With panties in my purse, I returned to the table. Our drinks were already there as I quietly took my seat.

Tony held out His hand. I reached in my purse and grabbed my panties as discreetly as possible and handed them to him. Soon the waitress brought out our meals but I didn't look her in the eye. We chatted through our lunch, nothing special. Every once in a while he might ask something very personal, very embarrassing. I always answered with as much candor as I could. I was beginning to accept my place and our rules. He was very controlling and I think I liked it. We finished the meal without incident and left together for the parking lot.

"I'm parked out back, follow me to my car"

I did as instructed, aware of the limited time remaining on my lunch hour. Soon we reached his car and he unlocked the doors with his remote.

"Get in the back seat."

Again, I did as instructed and sat down behind the driver's seat. I had only a short time to get back to work and wondered where he thought to take me. I lost sight of him for a moment and he startled me a bit when he opened the other passenger door to the back seat. Tony sat down and scooted over to the middle of the seat, looking straight ahead.

"Unfortunately you were late, and will have to be punished." he said, still looking straight ahead.

I suddenly felt flushed and quickly looked around. We were in back of the restaurant, a few other cars were parked back here, but it was fairly secluded.

"Yes Master," was all I could reply.

He then grabbed my shoulder and pulled me over his lap and pulled up my dress. The back seat was not so large and I had my face pushed up against the side door. It was awkward and uncomfortable, but he didn't seem to care.

I hoped no one would spot my punishment as I waited for the first blow. It didn't take long. He administered the first spanking and I dutifully recited the number 1. I had not prepared myself for this at all.

"Two Master"

I was in my professional work mode. I was enjoying our time together and ready to return to work.

"Three Master"

I was sorry that I had displeased him and ruined our time. The blows continued and I dutifully recited the numbers. I suddenly realized how I was looking forward to the sting of each blow. 'I deserved this' I told myself. He was doing this for me and somehow the pain felt right. It was also being in a semi private place and I learned that I loved it. I would be mortified if anyone came around, but that feeling was exhilarating.

Then it was over.

"Thank-you Master," was all I managed. It seemed the appropriate thing to say.

It was even a bit more awkward pushing my self up and back over beside him in the cramped confines of his car. I looked around to see if anyone had spied my indignity. I could see a few people in the distance, but all seemed safe.

"Linda, I want you to take next Friday afternoon off", Tony said very matter of factly.

"Yes Master," I managed, wondering how I would be able to pull that off.

I was sent back to work, minus my panties of course, and was reminded of the adventure every sitting moment. It was exciting and I was falling deeper and deeper into my submission to this man. As a married woman it was wrong, I knew that, but I didn't care. I was on a higher plane than I ever had been. I looked forward to Friday and wondered what was in store for me.

There were other lunches, other short clandestine meetings, but I knew I could handle a lot more. And I wanted a lot more. I wanted more demands on me. I wanted more severe punishments. I wanted him to use me sexually. I found myself waiting for his call, or his e-mail, or his instant message. I was living a double life and it was good.