I met an old school chum the other month whilst drowning my sorrows in a London pub. He sat on a bench outside, smoking. I'd just been for another job interview and knew it hadn't gone well. I had been out of work for six months and with my savings almost gone I was desperate and depressed.
Robert was a breath of fresh air, always bright and chirpy and today was no exception. We ordered drinks and we talked about my interview. He was very sympathetic to my job plight.
'What do you do now?' I asked
'I do lunch,' he laughed. 'I'm a kept man and don't mind telling you. I spend my days shopping, going to the gym or meeting friends like you for a beer. I'm also writing a book. I always wanted to but never had the time.' He smirked. 'My girlfriend is the core bread winner.' He smirked gain. I use the term girlfriend lightly as I'm really an employee. In a pleasing act of role reversal I think more high-earning women are wising up to the benefits of having a trophy boy or a young pretty thing like me who is happy for his lover to lavish him with attention and expensive gifts.' He grins.
'Do you earn significantly less then she?' I ask.
He laughs. 'I don't earn a think. I don't need to. She just gives me what I want.' He raises his glass and gulps the remnants of his pint down. 'Fancy another?'
I nod. I was in no rush and his story fascinated me. He got fresh drinks and continued.
'It's ideal, she earns and I spend. She simply doesn't have the time to enjoy her money so I enjoy it for her.' he laughs and flicks his hair from his eyes.
I was amazed. 'Where did you meet her?' I ask.
'Through a woman called
Anita at my health club. She runs an up market introduction agency. It was here idea. I wasn't looking for a change. She put me on her books and within two weeks I met Sue my employer. She's apparently big in the city something to do with securities. Worth a small fortune,' he said wit
A greedy glint in his eye. 'She buys me everything I could possibly desire.' He gave me his business card, showed me his gold and diamond bracelet and patted his designer jeans. 'She even bought me my sports car.' He pointed to the gleaming red Ferrari convertible, parked on a double yellow right in front of us. I couldn't help but be impressed. But as he went on and on about his good fortune I began to feel incredibly envious. How did the lucky sod do it? Why do some blokes, like him go effortlessly through life getting all the breaks while others, like me get all the knocks?
Robert ordered another round of drinks and pointed out my problem with characteristic bluntness. 'You've got to get yourself sorted, man, get yourself a decent woman and settle down. Find one and grab her before someone else does.' He gave me a sly look. 'Do you know what you want in a woman?'
'Not really,' I reply.
'No worries Anita will help you. I'll arrange a meeting for you if you like? With your girlish good looks I'm sure you won't go wrong.'
I nodded. It sounded like money for old rope. He bounced up enthusiastically from his chair and using his top of the range mobile phone took a digital photograph of me. He then asked me my weight, my basic measurements and my best contact number. I sat open mouthed as he sent this with my photo to the mysterious Anita. It was all very exciting and I wondered if I would have any more luck with Anita than my recent interview.
We had another couple of drinks and to my amazement though well over the limit I watched him roar off in his Ferrari. When he had gone I fingered his business card apprehensively wondering if she would call.
I didn't wait long as a few days later Anita rang my mobile.
'Hello,' she said warmly. 'My dear friend Robert recommended we meet. Can you do lunch? Perhaps Tuesday?' I dutifully agreed and she went on to explain a little about herself and the agency she ran. 'I'm like a head-hunter, a matchmaker. I place men and women,' she told me. 'I specialise in the more unusual requests. It's a tough job,' she laughs 'but someone has to do it. You'd be amazed at how many people are lonely and so many are professional women who don't have the time for social exchange.' She laughed, a hearty laugh. 'You're never to old to snag a bloke as long as your prepared to pay for the privilege.'
Later the following week. Anita met me in a smart London hotel. She asked me to bring along a memory card with as many pictures of myself as possible. She was an amazing woman. She was meticulously organised and direct. Before we sat down in the lounge I learnt that she already knew a lot about me.
'Robert's given me the low down,' she said yet then proceeded to ask lots of personal questions. I didn't think her questions were that odd at the time but on hindsight i realise they where rather strange. She asked about my relationships, how I viewed women and how I liked to dress. She was a smooth talker and I soon realised I was being vetted. 'Have you any preferences or likes or dislikes?' she asked me finally.
I wasn't in a position to be fussy. 'I guess not,' I said, 'but I'd like her to be financially well placed'.
Anita laughs, 'In other words you want a rich bitch.' I smirked but nodded sheepishly. 'perhaps less of the bitch and more of the rich.' I say jokingly.
'Let me see what I can do darling.' she put her hand on my leg and I flinched nervously. 'You're certainly a handsome man or should I say pretty.' she touched my cheek and ran her fingers down my neck. 'To be honest...You're not my usual type of male placement but i was considering enlarging my portfolio. You're a bit small and have girlish features. I'd easily call you effeminate but as long as you're not too fussy I'm sure I can find you a home.' She folded her papers together and put them into her briefcase. 'You do realise,' she said softly, getting up to leave, that Robert is very lucky and my clients are not all as wealthy. I can't promise the same.'
'Yes,' I said with a frisson of disappointment. She then told me how she will have my portfolio made using the photographs I'd brought along, the ones she had taken and the notes she had written from Robert and myself.
'Can I see it when done?' I ask.
She nods and I wonder if an expense is involved so I stay dumb.
All in all the meeting went well and as interviews go it was more successful than many of my previous yet I didn't really expect to hear from her again. Robert rang which was nice. He wanted to know how I had got on with Anita and he told me to let him know how things progressed.
Two weeks later I had a 'no' from my last job interview and yes from Anita. She rang me early one morning. As usual she was brisk and to the point. 'I've got a positively charming lady who's desperate to meet you,' she said, 'and before you ask she's one of the country's richest women.' she told me to dress smartly and meet her at another London hotel the following day. 'Nothing too butch,' she said. 'this lady doesn't want a challenge. Shes after sensitivity and charm in favour of brawn.'
I didn't have a great deal of choice. I wore my interview suit, no tie and a pink shirt. The trousers where a skinny fit and where tight on my bum. I remembered what Anita said about not being butch so I shaved as close as possible, moisturised my face and wore floral perfume. I manicured my nails, gave them a polish with a file and wore an effeminate ring on my right hand. My nails looked amazing. The ring was left at my flat by an old girlfriend and gave my hands a girlish look. My divers watch was too rugged so I kept it in my pocket.
I felt uncharacteristically nervous as I walked into reception trying my best to mince slightly. Anita was already waiting and she quickly said her introductions and whisked me upstairs into a bedroom. 'I was afraid of this,' she said as she poured herself a mineral water.
'Afraid of what?' I asked.
'You look like you're about to attend a formal interview. I did say less butch.'
'but... butt...' I stuttered wanting to tell her about the effort I had taken.
She took a sip of water and smiled reassuringly. I've brought some things that might be more suitable. she cast a critical eye towards me. 'Take off that cheap suit and awful shirt and lets see if I've got something more fitting.'
As I undressed she rummaged in the wardrobe. I saw out the corner of my eye that it was stuffed to the gunwales with colourful dresses, blouses and skirts and the drawers were full of panties, bras, stockings, slips and silky camisoles.
'You're well stocked with stuff,' I say.
she nodded. 'I rent this room permanently and use it for interviews and introductions.'
I smile nervously and begin to worry what she has planned.
'The lady you are going to see is called Ms Kate and as I said on the phone she doesn't like her men too manly.' she laughs, 'builders need not apply.' I laugh too but my mirth soon turned to horror as she handed me what looked like a pair of light grey, flared slacks and a frilly, silk white blouse.
'Slip these on and lets see what you look like.'
I wanted to refuse but semi-naked with a strange woman who was offering me a chance of work I could hardly refuse.
'These are rather unusual,' I say as I step into the stretchy trousers.
'They're lovely. My favorite trousers,' she says. 'They're perfect for you. Slimline style, without pockets, a slight flair, in an easy to wear stretch fabric.' she smiled approvingly. I frowned. They looked too small, had no front fly, waistband or belt loops and a zip fastening on the side. I looked at the label suspiciously. Surely they weren't for men. Reluctantly I pulled them up my legs. The fabric stretched accommodatingly moulding themselves to my form like a second skin. I tried to fastened them round my waist but they were too short and would only reach my hips. I pulled up the zip and fastened the eye. I looked down at my feet. The trousers where about three inches too short.
Anita smiled approvingly. 'They're not too short they're cropped,' she held open the blouse for me to slip my arms in. It got worse. The blouse had three-quarter length sleeves and frills around the cuffs. I frowned again as she fastened the buttons and tucked it into my trousers. They all fitted perfectly. She smiled approvingly and wrapped a polka dot, black and white scarf around my waist like a belt.
'Your heavy brogues don't go either. Don't put them back on. slip off your socks and try these.'
I took the pair of effeminate looking heels from her and slipped them on my feet eyeing the heel suspiciously. I wobbled trying to get my balance. Anita laughed.
'These can't be men's cloths,' I say noticing that the shirt buttons did up the wrong way. 'The trousers have no fly, the slip on shoes have a heel and the shirt is quite obviously a blouse. These things feel so strange. I must look a complete pansy.
'To the contrary you look great, Kate will love you.' Then to my surprise she lunged at me with a lipstick and before I could object she had lightly painted my lips with a soft red gloss. I felt ridiculous and cringed when I saw my reflection in a mirror. I looked incredibly effeminate. The shirt sagged where breasts should be and was nipped in at the waist. The trousers made my hips look wide and my groin looked rounded and smooth just like a woman's. I tipped slightly forward in the heels and walked like a camp actor. I wasn't sure this was a good idea but then I remembered Robert and his Ferrari. And to be honest the clothes did feel beautifully comfortable.
'I hope you know what you're doing,' I say feeling a bit more cheerful. She nodded and I combed my hair, sat down and waited.
About ten minutes past then the silence was broken by the phone ringing. It was reception. 'She's here,' Anita said excitedly putting down the phone. 'Shes always the punctual one. Pop downstairs and bring her up. I'll organise some coffee.'
I look at her with horror in my eyes and cast my gaze down on my feminine clothes. 'I can't go to reception dressed like this,' I cry but Anita was most insistent.
'It's important. First impressions mean so much and I know what Katie likes. trust me.' she took a dogtooth trilby from the cupboard and droped it on my head at a jaunty angle.
Reluctantly I left the sanctuary of the bedroom and crossed the hall to the lift. I felt incredibly odd. I tried to stop my hips swinging from side to side but in the heeled loafers it was almost impossible. My trousers rubbed smoothly together and my shirt rustled nosily. I felt as if everyone was staring at me. In the corridor a maid cleaning a room looked at me oddly. In the lift a man in a formal business suit did his best not to laugh. I felt totally ridiculous and wished I had never been talked into coming.
Katie was easily recognisable she stood straight backed by the reception desk. She was about forty five, impecably dressed with flaming red hair. She was heavily made-up with green eyeshadow and bright red lips, a beauty mark and tons of rhinstone jewellery. She talked calmly on a mobile phone, stood by two male colleagues and smoked a long menthol cigarette in a holder despite the recent ban. No one dare complain. Her appearance commanded respect. She looked amazing dressed in an expensive-looking grey striped trouser suit. With straight cut trousers and a matching jacket. The trousers were superbly pressed and she wore her red hair in a immaculately-cut bob. Very predictable I thought but her high heeled sexy black ankle boots hinted at another side of her personality . She smiled as I approached her and put away her phone. She seemed to know me. She nodded to her business colleagues and told them to wait for her.
'Hello,' I said introducing myself. I'm David.' She firmly shook my hand. She seemed pleased with my look but didn't comment on my effeminate appearance. 'Anita is in room 218,' I say but rather than follow me she strode purposefully to the lift. Sheepishly I followed her back to the room like a lamb. She smelt of channel. Anita had organised coffee and she welcomed us both warmly.
'I'll leave you two alone but before we go any further I have to ask you to sign these forms.' she put in front of Kate some legal looking paperwork. 'You know the score this is nothing to worry about its just to preserve our rights on this intro. '
'Pour the coffee, David,' Anita asked. As I did I felt Katie staring at me. 'Do you like David,' Anita asked.
Katie smiled. 'Yes,' she says I think so.'
'I knew you would David is quite shy but he's very cute. I haven't had him on my books long but I don't think he will hang around especially considering his looks and obvious talents.' I feel my face redden what talents I wonder. Anita drank her coffee and got up to leave. 'I'll see you two in an hour. I'll be in the bar.'
As soon as she had left Katie began to ask question after question. She seemed pleased with my replies. 'I'm a very busy lady,' she says. 'I travel all over the world, I'm in London two to three times a week. I don't like hotels and intend to buy a base here but need someone to look after it and me. I would expect who ever lands this job to live in and be available when ever I require. Other than that the apartment is yours and you can do what ever you want. Interested?
Of course I was. I nodded.
'I assume Anita has told you that I loath aggressive, assertive men and sloppy appearance.' I nod. 'and I like my men to dress accordingly. Are you happy with that. I wasn't clear as to what she meant but I nodded happily. 'Good,' she said handing me a small box. 'Please accept this gift on my behalf for coming along.' I took off the wrapping to find two delicate gold chains. They were beautiful. A necklace and a matching bracelet. I took them out of the box and saw a small dangling heart on each chain. They were very obviously designed for women
'Do you like them?
'Er yes they are very nice.'
'Put them on then.'
I went to put the bracelet round my wrist. Katie grabbed it from me, pulled a face and pointed towards my foot
'No stupid its an ankle chain.' I'd never heard of men wearing angle chains but I wasn't going to argue. so I got on one knee and rolled up a trouser leg. Katie watched as if mesmerised.
'Nice shoes,' she said I blushed. I really didn't know what to say. I was so afraid of saying the wrong thing. With trembling fingers I fastened the chain round my ankle and stood up. It felt cold and was easily noticeable under my trousers.
'Let me put the necklace on you.' she says. I turn my back to her and she hung it round my neck. she fastened it behind me. she tucked it in my shirt. 'It looks lovely,' she said gesturing towards the mirror. She was right it did look nice but not on me. It just emphasised my effeminate look. but Katie seemed pleased.
There was a knock on the door. 'Answer it,' Katie said. It was room service. A young suited man was holding a bottle of Krug and two long stemmed glasses.
'Thank you,' I said as Katie walked up behind me and held me unashamedly by the waist. She murmurs something in my ear about celebrating the occasion and better than coffee. The man looks at me oddly and I blush. Seconds later the cork flew out of the champagne bottle and bounced off the ceiling. I held up the crystal glasses to be filled, Katie deliberately tipped some of the Krug down my front.
'Oops,' she leered, 'now I expect you'll need a hand getting out of those wet clothes. But first I propose a toast.' my blouse wet and sticky clung to my chest as we raised our glasses, the crystal catching the light and twinkling beautifully.
'Cheers.' I giggled girlishly, took a quick sip and the bubbles shot up my nose.
'What are we celebrating?' I asked coughing.
she slid her arm around my hip with a proprietorial air, pulling me against her. I imediately smelt her perfume.
My cock began to swell and the front of my slacks began to bulge.
'We're celebrating the fact that I've just walked into a gorgeous girls life.' I smirked but it took a while before I realised what she meant. I was the girl. But I didn't care I was a hit and my mind was already on a new car, the riverside apartment and an expense account.
she took from her case an estate agents document . 'If I choose you this is the flat which will be yours.'
It was amazing. I tried to see the market value but could only count six noughts. I'll buy you a car and give you an expense account plus a small salary. Does that sound good? I was flabbergasted. She stood up and walked around the room. I will of course expect you to dress differently.
I didn't care, the job sounded ideal. I take another sip of Krug nervously.
'Don't you like what I'm wearing?' I say slightly hurt.
Katie shook her head. 'Not much. It's better than most but not what I'd like to see you in on a daily basis.' I was disappointed especially after Anita had gone to so much trouble. Perhaps I was too effeminate.
'What would you like me to wear?' I ask wearily.
'Now you're talking,' she says crossing the room. My stomach tightens as the penny drops. Standing in front of the wardrobe she open the double doors with a majestic flair.
'Take off those awfully dated slacks and blouse and lets see shall we?'
I had to make a quick decision. if I refused I was in danger of not being chosen. Yet I was not accustomed to undressing in front of a stranger. My dawdling cost me dearly.
What she said next caught me by surprise. 'Come on I haven't all day. Strip to your scanties.'
'Okay, Okay,' I mumble. 'sorry.'
'Good,' she said watching me step out of my unusual trousers. It wasn't all bad. I felt relieved to be out of my feminine garb especially as the blouse was wet and sticky with champagne. At last I thought Katie could see me as a man with what I had to offer. she looked disapprovingly at my basic men's briefs but didn't say a word. she waited for me to put my things on the bed before she rummaged though the clothes in the wardrobe.