"Forever shall the wolf in me desire the sheep in you" ~ from the song "Beauty and the Beast" by Nightwish
"Are you sure you want to spend your last summer before college out in the middle of nowhere?"
Jamie sighed into the phone.
"Yes, mom. I'm sure. I need to relax."
"You call that relaxing? I'd be bored out of my skull."
"Yeah, well... It works for me."
She was silent for a few seconds.
"You know Craig..." Jamie groaned. "...is really worried about you. He misses you."
"Yeah? Well, I don't miss him one bit."
"Sweetie, this whole thing between the two of you is just a misunderstanding. I know you can work it out, if you'd just give him a chance... Let him come visit you."
Jamie got a sinking feeling in his stomach.
"You didn't tell him where I was, did you?"
"Mom...! You promised you wouldn't tell him..."
"Well, you should have seen him! He was a mess, poor thing! I think you're being really cruel, Jamie! He's such a sweet boy."
"You date him, then!" Jamie shouted and ended the call.
Tiredly rubbing his forehead, Jamie collapsed onto the couch. A few minutes on the phone with his mother and his head felt like it was going to split open.
Alicia poked her head out of the kitchen doorway.
"I'm making coffee. Want some?"
"Yeah, thanks," Jamie sighed.
Alicia was the best friend of Jamie's father, Alan. They had been close since they were children, but when Alan married Jamie's mom, Sharon, they drifted apart. Sharon was jealous of Alicia and suspected Alan of having a thing with her, no matter how much he insisted that they were nothing more than friends. When Alan died in a car crash, Alicia decided to come to Jamie and offer her support. Sharon was less than pleased, but her kindness was just what Jamie needed then. He and his mother had never been on the same page. She found comfort in her friends, Jamie in Alicia. And, as time passed, Jamie and Alicia became very close. He began to think of her as a favorite aunt, someone he could tell anything. That's why, after having escaped a bad relationship (which also happened to be his first), he packed a bag and came to her house in the sticks to spend the summer there with her and her younger brother, David.
David... Jamie had never met him before coming here, but Alicia had spoken of him often. And when Jamie finally got to see him, he had been utterly speechless. Simply put, David was nothing less than magnificent. Seven years older than Jamie, he was tall and strong, with long black hair tied up in the back of the neck, a few strands shorter in the front framing his face perfectly. And his eyes... they were an unbelievably piercing silvery blue, and when directed at you, they took your breath away. Jamie was his exact opposite: small and slender, very light blonde hair and large, dark green eyes that made him a look a little younger than he actually was. Jamie had often received compliments for his boyish looks, but to him there was no question that David's powerful, dark appearance was so much more impressive.
Jamie went into the kitchen following the delicious smell of fresh coffee, and happily accepted a mug from Alicia. David was sitting at the kitchen table, and Jamie glanced at him, discreetly admiring the view. The morning sun was falling on his face, making his black hair shine, and delectably hugging his body was a black T-shirt with the famous Mr. Blonde quote from "Reservoir Dogs" printed on it. He looked up when Jamie entered the kitchen, but had quickly turned his attention back to the newspaper spread out before him on the table. Jamie sat down next to him in silence. He had tried to get to know David, but hadn't made much progress. David was never unfriendly, but he was very serious and closed off.
Alicia joined them.
"So how was Sharon?" she asked, sipping her coffee. Jamie grunted in response, and she smiled understandingly. Alicia glanced at the clock. Any minute now... Just then her cell phone rang, as she had expected. She left the kitchen to answer it. She spoke to her friend for a few minutes in a hushed voice, then hung up. Setting her facial expression as one of held-back sadness and disappointment, she returned to the kitchen.
"Everything OK?" Jamie asked. Alicia cleared her throat.
"Yes... Uhm... A friend of mine dumped her boyfriend, but they had cruise tickets for tomorrow... she's going anyway, and she asked me to come with her."
"Wow. Sounds like fun."
"Yeah, but... I'm not going," Alicia said playing with a loose thread in the sleeve of her shirt, making sure to pout ever so slightly. "I'd rather stay here."
There was a few moments of silence, and then David said quietly, not looking up from the newspaper:
"You should go."
Alicia looked at him intently, concealing her triumph, then turned to Jamie, smiling.
"I'm sorry, Jamie, but could you excuse us for a minute?"
Jamie left the kitchen. After having been to the bathroom and taken care of a few things in his room, he returned. Alicia beamed at him.
"I think I'll go on the cruise anyway, Jamie. If that's okay with you? David will still be here to keep you company."
"Yeah, don't worry about me. I'll be fine. You just have a great time."
"Thank you, kiddo. Well, I guess I'll call Jenny, then I'd better start packing."
Alone in her room, Alicia raised her arms in a victory-gesture. David had taken the bait hook, line and sinker. She felt a tad sorry for laying a guilt-trip on him, but she believed it was for his own good. She also wasn't used to playing the match maker, but she just couldn't sit idly by while her brother went through his life alone. Especially not when such a golden opportunity was right under his nose.
David had been seemingly indifferent to Jamie when she introduced them to each other, but Alicia wasn't fooled. She had long ago learnt to see past his stony face, and she knew Jamie had made a deep impression. And it was clear that Jamie really liked her brother, and if there was one person on this world who could be understanding about David's... situation, she was sure it was Jamie. She hadn't brought Jamie here to set him up with David, but now she simply couldn't help herself. She only hoped that giving them two weeks alone together while she stayed at her friend's house would be enough.
"Let's hope this works," she said to herself and crossed her fingers.
The following morning, Alicia said goodbye to Jamie and David and left with her friend. The two young men spent most of the day in silence. It was starting to make Jamie uneasy, especially when he noticed that David sometimes watched him with that icy stare of his. Jamie could never guess what David was thinking about him, if he was thinking about him at all, and it made Jamie nervous. Still, Jamie made up his mind: if he and David were to spend two weeks in each other's company, David needed to be defrosted a bit. So in the evening, he cautiously tapped on David's door and entered when he heard a: "Yeah?". David was stretched out on his bed, a book in his hand.
"Hey," Jamie said, fighting down the urge to throw himself at him. "Uhm, I was thinking about watching a couple of movies. Wanna join me?"
For a second David just looked at Jamie blankly, then he smiled. It was the first time Jamie had seen a genuine smile on his face, and suddenly he felt warm and tingly all over.
"Yeah, sure," David said, putting his book away.
Alicia was a real movie-lover, and had a good collection: somewhere between two- and three hundred DVDs. Jamie spotted "Dances with Wolves", a favorite of his, and pulled it from the shelf.
"How about this?" Jamie said, holding it up. As soon as David glanced at the cover, he stiffened and looked hard at Jamie.
"Or... we take something else... if you don't like this one," Jamie said, suddenly feeling very uneasy.
"No, it's a great movie..." David said, his expression softening. "I was just in the mood for something with a faster pace."
After a few more minutes of choosing, they went the "Lethal Weapon" way, but Jamie paid more attention to David than the screen. It was so wonderful to see him relaxed and smiling; he seemed like a completely different person. As darkly sexy and exciting as he was when he had his stony expression, he was even more beautiful when he laughed; his whole face seemed to be glowing, and it made Jamie's heart flutter.
When they'd finished the movie they made popcorn and watched all three sequels, and when they were done with them they got started on "Army of Darkness". It had been a long time since Jamie had so much fun, since he'd been so at ease, since he'd been so... happy. With a smile of satisfaction, he dozed off.
Jamie awoke. David was leaning over him, stroking his cheek. His silver blue eyes were looking at him with such intensity that he gasped. "Oh... Please... kiss me," he thought. But David didn't. He just gave a vague smile and said:
"It's late, Jamie. Go to bed."
Jamie stared disappointedly as he walked away, up the stairs.
Alone in his room, David leaned heavily on the door.
"Oh, God," he muttered and put his hand on his groin. Hard as a rock. Jamie had been so incredibly beautiful just now, asleep on the couch. He had wanted to take things further so bad... but he couldn't.
"Have you forgotten?" his inner voice said. "You can't let your guard down. These are dangerous feelings. You can't give in to them. It wouldn't do either of you any good. If he found out... he would be disgusted. He would fear you, hate you. And then you would be even more miserable then you were before."
David sighed deeply. Opening his jeans he reached inside his underwear and put his hand around his throbbing cock.
"I'll allow myself just one fantasy... Then I won't let my guard down again."
As he started moving his hand, he imagined himself stripping down Jamie's petite body, worshiping it with lips and tongue, hands and fingers. Jerking himself faster, he imagined Jamie in his lap riding his cock, gasping and moaning in his ear as David whispered all the things he wanted to say, but never could. Moving his hand so fast it was almost a blur he came, groaning Jamie's name. He slumped down onto the floor and looked at his sticky hand. With another deep sigh, he whispered Jamie's name once more in the darkness.
Suddenly, he felt the pull. Pain spread through his body like wildfire as he began to change. With great effort, he fought it down and collapsed in a heap on the floor. The pull had never been this strong before. It was always stronger in the summer, but he would always be in control until "the night". This was something different. It had to be because of the feelings for Jamie. They were weakening him, taking away his control. Oh well, he would just have to make sure to endure tomorrow night as well. The night after that was "the night", and he would leave the house and go into the woods. After that the pull would be weak until next time. Then, if he just distanced himself from Jamie until Jamie left, everything would be okay.
"I can do that..." David thought. "...I think.
The next morning, much to Jamie's disappointment, David was acting quiet and withdrawn as always, as if last night never happened. As they ate their breakfast in silence; Jamie tried to start a conversation but David just gave a short reply and stared out the window. The second he was finished with his breakfast he went up to his room. Jamie found himself getting a little pissed off. What was David's problem, anyway?
Sighing, Jamie got up to pour himself another cup of coffee, just as the doorbell rang. David's voice drifted down to me from upstairs:
"Jamie? Could you get that?"
Jamie hurried to the door. When he opened it and saw who it was, he immediately tried to slam the door shut, but a foot blocked it, then a hand grabbed the door and yanked it open.
"Hey, babe," Craig said, with a crooked grin. "I've missed you."
"Get the hell out of here."
"You shouldn't talk to me like that. After all, I am your boyfriend."
"I broke up with you. You're not my boyfriend." Jamie began to back away. "It's over. I wish I never met you."
Craig's face darkened and he grabbed Jamie's arm with a bruising grip.
"It's not over 'til I say so."
Forcing himself to look Craig in the eye, Jamie hissed through clenched teeth:
Tightening his grip on my arm so that Jamie couldn't help but whimper in pain, Craig pushed Jaime up against the wall.
"I've got a better idea," he whispered in his ear, pressing his body against Jamie's so he could feel the hard bulge at his groin. Struggling, Jamie turned his head away in disgust. Suddenly, the painful grip on his arm was gone. He looked up; David had grabbed Craig and was dragging him towards the door. Craig twisted free, and glared from David to Jamie.
"You don't waste any time, do you? Whore."
David's fist shot out and collided with Craig's face. With a big shove, Craig was fell out the door and landed on his ass. His voice icy, David said:
"Stay the fuck away from Jamie."
He slammed the door shut and turned to Jamie.
"Are you okay?"
Jamie nodded. David looked at him searchingly.
"No, you're not."
Before Jamie knew what was happening, David had taken him in his arms, holding him close and stroking his hair. Jamie leaned his head against his chest, feeling himself relax in the comforting warmth of his body. Craig had freaked him out more than he cared to admit. Still holding an arm around Jamie's shoulders, David walked him to the living room and they sat down on the couch.
"I take it that was your ex."
"Yeah." Jamie nodded. "Craig."
"Craig's an asshole."
"Definitely," Jamie laughed. David smiled.
"How did you end up with a guy like that?"
Jamie looked away.
"It's stupid, really. You know my mother and I don't get along, right?"
"Yeah, Alicia told me."
"Right. She's practically always ignored me... unless she there was something in it for her. When I came out she didn't waste a second in making herself look like mother of the year by bragging to her friends of how very supportive she was of her gay son. And then, when she found out that a business associate of hers had a gay son my age she persuaded me to go on a blind date with him. That's how we met. I thought he was okay, at first. Thoughtless, but okay. Plus, I thought he was cute, so I thought if I gave him a chance I might grow to like him. But... he started getting really controlling. He always wanted to know where I was, who I was with and what I was doing. At times he would snap and call me all kinds of names. He would apologize later; he said it was difficult for him to trust people because he'd been hurt before... I felt sorry for him, so I was stupid enough to forgive him, over and over, until... I got fed up and ended it."
Jamie looked up at David, and saw that he was softly smiling. He took Jamie's hand. Slowly, he leaned over and pressed his lips against his cheek.
"You should stay away from guys like that. You deserve better."
He stood and left the room. Jamie stayed there, unable to move, his skin burning in the places David had touched.
In the afternoon Jamie felt like getting out of the house to clear his head, so he borrowed Alicia's bike and went to the supermarket in town. He decided to cook a nice dinner for David as a small 'thank you' for helping out with Craig. He bought stuff for a pasta dish he was good at. While strolling along the shelves, he thought about David. There was no denying it: he was definitely falling for him. He was sure of it. But what about David? Did he feel anything for Jamie? Sometimes it seemed like it to Jamie... but then he would get back to being aloof and stone-faced. Always Mr. Mysterious. Jamie decided that if he wanted to know what David felt for him, he would have to find out for himself. He made up his mind on trying to make a move that night.
So far so good. Dinner had worked out great: David enjoyed Jamie's cooking and had seconds. Jamie had wanted to eat outside as the moon would be almost full, but it was starting to rain so they stayed indoors, but it was still fun. David was rather quiet, but not closed off. It seemed more to Jamie like David was quiet because he was peaceful.
After dinner they grabbed a few beers and settled down in the living room, listening to music and talking. Jamie was getting a little nervous: if he was going to give it a shot he would have to do it soon. He went to the bathroom to calm down and splash his face. When he returned to the living room it was dark and quiet, except for the rain pattering against the windows. Disappointedly, he at first thought that David had left, but as he went further into the room he saw the light of a single candle. David was just sitting down on the rug on the floor, and he had been to his room and gotten his guitar. When he noticed Jamie, he smiled.
Jamie sat down next to him on the rug, suddenly a lot more relaxed.
"Can you do Ramones?"
David's smile widened; his fingers started moving over the strings, and "I Want You Around" filled the air. He even sang, and his voice, clean and soft felt like it was caressing Jamie inside and out. When he was done with the song, he got started on "Withered" by Atomship, after that "Try Me" by James Brown. As the last note silenced, Jamie couldn't contain himself any longer. He scooted closer to David and placed a hand on his cheek. Gently turning his face so that his eyes met Jamie's, Jamie leaned forward and kissed him. Jamie closed his eyes, feeling his body turn warm and weightless. David began kissing Jaime back, wrapping his arms around him.
David started taking control of the kiss, and Jamie willingly gave in to him. As his tongue entered Jamie's mouth the movements of their lips were growing faster, more urgent. Their tongues danced together, and Jamie straddled his lap, pressing his body into David's, unable to keep himself from moaning low in his throat as he felt him harden. With a swift move David rolled them down onto the floor. His lips moved over Jamie's neck, kissing his way up to the ear. Jamie's hands traveled up under David's t-shirt, running them over his back. The skin was soft and smooth, except for four long, parallel scars. Jamie traced them with his fingertips, then moved his hands downward, slipping them inside David's jeans. Grabbing his ass, Jamie pulled David hard against him, making his erection rub into his own. David crushed his mouth into Jamie's, his kiss deep and fierce, making Jamie whimper as he snaked their tongues together. Removing Jamie's hands from his butt, David took hold of Jamie's wrists; raising his arms over his head, he pinned them down on the floor.
That's when it happened. A hated memory instantly rushed to the surface; Jaime's lust turned to fear and he began to shake, panic taking hold.
"Stop it! Let me go! Stop!"
David let go and sat up, his startled eyes looking down at the shaking Jamie. Slowly, Jamie sat up. He could feel tears fill his eyes and he looked away in shame. He felt awful and pathetic, letting David see him like this.
"Jamie... I'm sorry. I didn't mean..."
"Don't apologize," Jamie said, still unable to look David in the face. "You did nothing wrong."
After a moment's silence, Jamie felt David take his hand.
"I didn't, but someone else did, right?"
Tears spilled over Jamie's cheeks, and he wiped them away with his hand.
Jamie nodded. David put his hand on his cheek and made Jamie look him in the eye.
"What did he do to you?"
Jamie took a deep breath. He didn't want to talk about it, but David deserved to know. And maybe, no matter how much it hurt, deep down he really needed to talk about it.