Summer of Denial

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sr71plt
sr71plt
3,018 Followers

I entertained a brief vision of Vandi and crew efficiently loading it back into the bed of the beat-up pickup. I knew Helena would do at least that much for me—arrange to have it returned to New York, to Charlie's apartment. I knew I could count on her continued affection.

Slipping out of the front door, I briskly walked to where the path started from the fringe of the garden to the landing where the tourist boats departed. I knew if I hurried, I could catch the boat returning to Savannah. From there, it was a relatively fast plane hop back to New York. I had more than just the clothes on my back. I had credit cards.

I made it to the dock just in time. They were pulling the gangplank into the boat as I arrived and, with free and lazy "whatever" smiles, paused long enough for me to board. There weren't many tourists on this trip. There were seats lining the wall of the cabin and facing the sides of the boat, but I had the urge to hide—to hide from Daufuskie island and all of the denial it had stripped from me.

I moved to the door into the cabin, reached by three steps down into the well of the ship. I saw them instantly, but they didn't see me, and I drew back. The three of them were sitting close together, Tish in the middle, both Vandi and the boat captain half turned to her from either side, their hands groping her intimately, lost in each other, not caring who was watching them.

I settled on a bench outside and watched Daufuskie Island slip away. The summer of my denial had already slipped away as well. I only hoped that Charlie had waited for me. I found myself chuckling. In light of what I'd just seen in the boat's cabin, dear old Helena and Damien were about to have their summer of denial irrevocably stripped away as well. Tish's suitcase had been sitting on the deck in front of her knees.

sr71plt
sr71plt
3,018 Followers
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5 Comments
Jim44444Jim44444over 10 years ago
Well written.

But I just am not into gay erotica. Thanks for writing.

patientleepatientleeover 10 years ago
I liked this much more than I expected to.

It took a little bit to get into it, but it was intriguing.

lloyd_5lloyd_5over 10 years ago
good writing but not erotica

Others have said the same points. Too much and too many characters packed in a short story without time to develop the electricity between the main characters. Perhaps first person was not the best choice here.

You write better than most but too physical without enough eroticism.

kschokschoover 10 years ago
too many words

the author fancies him/herself as Hemingway...but too many words muddle a sentence. The intent is there, but the execution is poor.

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
Literate but muddled

The descriptive writing was elegant, but it seemed like you were trying to cram a novel into a short story. The reader is bombarded by multiple characterizations non-stop at the beginning, so that it becomes a little tedious. It has a bit of a soap-opera quality to it, and the protagonist does too much musing, so much that the story bogs down under the weight of it. If the story were much longer, you could develop the characters and their respective neuroses at a more relaxed and natural pace, interspersed with some action. Having said that, you are clearly a more accomplished writer than most here at Lit.

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