Summer Solstice Ch. 03bymonamante©
"I guess for one keeping our hands to ourselves, we're just friends. You're seeing someone remember so we should be respectful of her." She pulled her hand off of me and I was kind of glad. I could feel myself inching towards her to be closer and when she pulled away I was released from my trance.
"Okay I can do that. So I made reservations for us to have dinner to celebrate Dr. Katerina Pahlavi." I know she didn't mean to but she was flirting and I had missed it.
"So what did you tell your girlfriend about me?" A part of me needed to know what she never spoke of. By my calculations they've been together for 4 months now, from the little she has told me of her.
"That my doctor friend Katey was coming to celebrate her new degree. She has to work all weekend so I won't be able to introduce you to her. She's not my girlfriend remember?"
"Does she mind me being here?"
"No we're not exclusive." Wow I hadn't thought about that, this wasn't uncommon for her. When we were at the beach house there was that one girl. So had she not moved on and were they just friends with benefits. Well I guess I don't even know if they have benefits but they are seeing each other and who could possibly resist her sexiness.
"Oh. Are you afraid to commit to her?"
"Nope, just not ready. I don't have much time for anything, with work and school between both of us."
"I see." I don't know why I opened this can of worms.
The rest of the ride was pretty quiet. We got to the hotel and she came to help me to my room. Damn alone with her in a room with a bed a bad idea. I started to unpack looking for her present. Would it be wrong for me to push her up against the wall and have my way with her. Would she mind? Wait damn it, we set up ground rules. "Found It"
"So in Puerto Rico there's a place called Viejo San Juan. The entrance to the city was called the door of San Juan, it was the gate into the city built in 1520. Most of the houses or places have a certain type of door. We would always go there and pick our favorite doors since their colors and decorations were all different. When I was a kid we would go to this place that customized tiny decorative doors for you. They call them 'Las Puertas de San Juan'." I handed her a small rectangle in the shape of door, on it it read 'Casa Collins'. (House of Collins.) "For your loft."
She put her glasses on and hugged me while taking the souvenir. She was hiding the tears but it was too late, I had already seen them. Why does it have to be so hard. Even after 6 months, I can't even begin to feel my love for her diminish.
"You suck Dr. Pahlavi. You really have a hold on my heart you know that? If I didn't know any better I would send my driver home, take you into my arms and make love to you on this bed all night."
"I shouldn't have come Ri."
"Probably not but you're here now and we have some celebrating to do. Come on let's get away from the bed. You ever seen the city?"
"Not really." We headed out the door and away we went.
She took me around her new city, showing me her favorite places and a few tourist spots. Never allowing for a single moment of silence or awkwardness between us. We went to dinner and celebrated with amazing food. I had missed her company and being at peace when I was with her. She made everything okay. Everything that I'm missing in my life is here with her. Midday she had released her driver of his duties and we had taken a cab to dinner. Then we shared a cab to my hotel and she took it back to her place. It was hard to say good bye but we still had two more days together. She had wore me out so much that I slept through the night dreaming of her.
I can imagine us living here together away from her family. Casa Collins & Pahlavi.
I can imagine us being together no matter where we live, but she can't. How long do I have to deal with her until she leaves like everyone else. My mom, when I was 2, my dad went with her and eventually died when I was 16, my aunt when I was 12 and my uncle when I was 10, my best friend/girlfriend/first love when I was 18. I don't know what it's like to have someone stay. Everyone I love always leaves so I can count on that. She will leave it's just a matter of time.
We've known each other for more than a year and in this year, she flipped my world upside down. I love her and I need her in my life. What if I just asked her to stay with me and showed her that we can be happy together. Nope, the best thing I can do is go to sleep and enjoy the next two days with her and avoid rejection.
I hate my dreams. All night it was movie, after movie of Katey in bed with me and us together. When I woke up I was so turned on and I knew that if I planned on making it through another day with Katey I had to get rid of.... well I had to please myself. 2 orgasms and a shower later I got dressed to meet up with my princess.
Today would be casual, some walking around the city, then her favorite musical, Wicked and a late dinner. I don't know how I'm supposed to go 2 more days with her.
"Hey Katey." MMmm she smells so good. "Do you want to take a taxi or the subway."
"Hey Ri. Subway. What are the plans for today?" She came in for a kiss on my cheek and it took every ounce of strength in me not to look for those lips.
"A surprise. Come on."
We managed to get around the city and have fun together. That's the problem though we get along so well. We went to Ellis Island and the Statue of Liberty. We were able to take more pictures together. It felt so right to hold her in my arms when we took pictures. A couple of times I caught myself holding her a little too close on the boat or in the subway. I don't know if she didn't notice, or she didn't care but we just fit.
When we got to the theatre she was so excited. Wicked was her favorite musical. She had seen it once when it was in LA, at the Pantages theatre. She always talked about how she wanted to watch it again someday maybe on Broadway. So here we were outside in front of the theatre with the giant sign "Wicked".
"You're kidding right."
"Nope we have some pretty good seats if I say so myself."
"Why are you so good to me Ri?" She had the most loving look in her eyes and yet she seemed sad at the same time.
"You know why, because I am madly in love with you." I think after spending such a good day with her and holding in so much, I just gave up. I grabbed her and held her in my arms I gave up fighting my emotions. I want her.
"I know, I know come on let's just go inside." Just as soon as I had started to just tell her how I felt, I gave up. I knew I would never get from her what I needed.
The musical was really good but I was so distracted. I'm always in control of myself but around her, control does not exist in my vocabulary. I was thinking dinner would be a really bad idea. I wasn't ready to sit across from this beautiful woman and pretend I didn't love her.
When it was all over I knew I couldn't keep our plans to go to dinner. I didn't want to disappoint her but I was on the verge of breaking down and just hiding from her to avoid my feelings that were burning to come to the surface.
"Katey?" We we're outside of the theatre. She was so happy she had even grabbed my hand and I hadn't noticed.
"Thank you for being so amazing Ri, I couldn't have asked for a better day."
"No...No...No Katey no." Why? Why can't she see that I need her.
"What's wrong?" She was concerned and I needed to get away put her in a taxi and send her home.
"I need space. I want you and I thought I could be here and just be normal but I can't. I'm sorry."
She looked at me for a while as I walked ahead of her, we were only about 8 blocks from her hotel what was the point of waiting for a taxi. I was mad, but not with her, with myself. Why did I insist on being in this position. Finally she caught up to me when we were halfway to her hotel, she grabbed my arm. I had tears in my eyes but I was determined not to cry anymore.
"Stop baby please just stop." I pulled my arm away and continued walking.
"Why Katey? Will you be here for me when I do. No, you won't. I can't see you anymore. I can't keep doing this. It hurts, it hurts baby it hurts. I'm sorry."
"Pleas stop Ri, stop for me, please, STOP!" I could hear the tears in her eyes through her pleading with me. So I stopped, right there and she hugged me. I wanted to pull away but I was helpless I pulled her in closer wishing I never had to let go.
"Take me home with you and we can talk there please."
"We're almost at your hotel. I can't do this anymore. "
"I wanna go home with you, please."
She didn't say anything else I got us a taxi and we were home in 15 minutes, my place at least. I was hesitant to let her in but we were already here.
"This is it." She was looking around admiring her surroundings.
"Really you made fun of my humble abode when your loft is a whole floor in a building."
"Oh um well sorry about that. I guess we both have huge places for no good reason. Katey, why did you want to come here?"
"So I could see where you live." I had put up my door she gave me next to the door and she was tracing it with her finger.
"You know I can't resist you."
I was still at the door of my own place a part of me thought that she would probably leave soon, the other part hoped she should never leave.
"I know baby come in." I closed the door and went straight for the terrace I needed air.
I stayed out there for a good 15 minutes and she was just walking around my house. Why did I bring her here? What does she want from me? Has she not hurt me enough?
I finally went in to find her and she was just sitting on the couch staring at a picture of us. I sat next to her.
"You know when I saw you get off the plane I realized I had never seen you look so professional and so stunning. Then we spent time together and you weren't that carefree girl from the beach, you were a woman with a plan. I was so in love with you. I come here to visit and you were in a suit and I wondered how does she always manage to make my heart skip a beat even before she talks."
She paused to look at me, but hell I was still so confused. She looked back down at the picture and started to play with the ring I gave her, she was also wearing the earrings.
"It killed me when you left the first time. I jumped into my dissertation and work to avoid thinking of you, but it was of no use. Then you came back and asked to be my girlfriend, I melted with your words. I was the happiest woman alive for those 2 weeks we were together. The worst part though, was when I heard that girl over the phone. I hated myself for not being strong enough to be with you. As time went by I realized that no matter how much time we spent apart, my heart was never going to come back to me because it was home with you."
She was smiling and I was still confused. She put the picture down and took my hands in hers.
"I'm in love with you Riley Collins and I always have been and I always will be. If I marry some guy for the sake of my parents, I will break your heart and my own. You and I separated will be an eternity of sadness. You are my happiness and I am yours."
"What are you saying Katey?"
"I don't know what will happen tomorrow or next year or next week. What I do know, is that as long as I'm with you nothing else matters."
"Baby, what are you saying?"
"That I love you and if you want me then take me I'm yours to keep."
"I was a fool to let you go twice, but I won't be a fool again Ri. I love you."
She leaned in and kissed me softly placing delicate kisses on my lips. I didn't respond, was she saying what I think she was saying. She noticed my apprehension and giggled.
"You better fucking kiss me Riley." That snapped me out of it.
"I can do better than that." I lifted her onto my lap and I kissed her with all the passion that had been waiting to be let out. With all the love she had deserved from day one. After a few minutes she pulled away as tears trickled down her cheeks. I know both of us had a lot of emotions going through us in this moment. I think she finally gave herself to me.
"I promise you that I will love you more than anyone ever could. I will be enough for you to forget everyone whose ever hurt you. I will make the doubt from others disappear into the abyss of nonexistence. I will make you the happiest woman in the world Katey."
"I don't doubt that my love. I love you Riley more than you will ever know, but I intend to show you everyday from today forward."
I held her with my right hand at the small of her back and I brought my left to her neck and pulled her in as close as possible as I kissed those lips that had called my name for two days.
"Do you want to talk about this?"
"What's there to talk about honey, I love you and want to be with you." She had wrapped her arms around my neck and was holding me close as she spoke into my lips, brushing them lightly back and forth.
"You make it sound so easy my love, you realize you have been avoiding us for a year. Now as we sit here thousands of miles from your family you want to be with me." "Yes why isn't that enough Riley."
"Baby I can't just be another day in your life, then you leave me or maybe you stay for another 2 weeks at best. Then, you go home and pretend I was just some fling." She looked away but held on to me. She laid her head to rest on my shoulder and just giggled as she continued, her lips just nibbling on my neck, her right hand caressing my cheek I was powerless in her arms unable to resist her touch.
"No honey you're not getting me. I'm not the same fool from a year ago or your birthday. You are my happiness, you are my home. You were never a fling for me. It just took me a little longer to realize that YOU are all I need in this world. I am yours Riley." She sat up in my lap and looked into my eyes. This whole time she hadn't stopped smiling even through her tears.
"I already settled everything at home with my business for the rest of the week. I have to go back and deal with a few clients but then I should be able to work from here for at least a few weeks at a time before going back. I can stay at the hotel but would much rather stay here with you. I hired an assistant to do whatever I need out there. As for my family when I go back I intend to tell them I'm in love with the most amazing woman in the world. I have no reason to keep pleasing them and their antiquated ways. So yes it is that easy from now on."
I couldn't believe my ears, was she finally mine.
"You're serious aren't you. It's just you and me from now on?"
"Yup, just you and I Riley, well I do have to ask one thing of you?"
"Anything." I was so happy, I was smiling from ear to ear.
"I want you to be exclusive with me, so your new friend definitely has to go."
"Are you asking me or are you telling me?"
She came up to my lips and looked in my eyes, those grey eyes getting darker with every second that passed.
"It wasn't a question. I'm telling you that I don't share."
I want to say that we made sweet love all night but honestly all I wanted was to hold her tight and never let go. For the first time, in a long time, we fell asleep in each others arms, at peace, knowing that we had the rest of our days to be together and nothing was going to come between us.
I had made the decision to be with her a week ago. I realized she and I were each others happiness. I had tried to please my parents for the last 26 years and it had never been enough. If I married a man the next thing to do was give up all my ambitions, then kids. I want kids just not with someone I didn't love. Children deserve to be raised in the best environment filled with love.
These were some of the things still looming in the back of my mind about my new relationship. Marriage and children. We had avoided these two conversations considering we had so much tension in our friendship but now it was different we were together. I was ready for all the conversations of what our future would hold for us. I was moving to New York to be with her. I would make sure that we worked everything out together.
I had actually thought everything through. Only thing that had stopped me was her friend. I was unsure if they were more than friends. But I can see now that I never lost her heart.
Christmas was coming and this was our first Christmas as an official couple, I had lots of questions as to how we would handle our celebration. I only had one person that I wanted to please, that was my Riley. She hadn't mentioned going back to LA to hang out with her friend but I didn't want to push her to change her life for me. I knew I had to bring it up soon or it might take us by surprise. So 2 weeks before Christmas I asked the question that had haunted me since Thanksgiving.
"Yea honey." She was making dinner for us and I was watching from our dinner table.
"Um, about Christmas....will you be ...um....you know going to LA to be with your friend?" She turned around to look at me, she looked as confused as I felt.
"No, I figured we would have Christmas, here, together since I didn't think you were going to see you parents. Did you have other plans?"
"No of course not, I just wasn't sure if you were.... you know..... anti-celebration, we don't really talk about it and well last time I wasn't sure how you felt about it. Last year you seemed lost in your memories when we were cooking and since then I've wondered if it was too much for you for us to be together, you now celebrating." She left the stove, lowered the heat and walked to sit on the chair next to me, taking my hands into her own.
"We're together so I don't want to make you feel bad or anything but I'll be honest because I hid my feelings then. I never really had a good Christmas, dad bought us some food and a whole bunch of presents he thought I would want and we watched TV together. Sometimes my aunt would come by and bring presents. For as long as I could remember Christmas was like every other special day in my life sad. My dad never made an effort so I decided early on to just get over it and not try. We never got a Christmas tree or a nativity scene or lights. Then here you were, the girl I was madly in love with, sharing a special day with me that had never meant anything. I was in heaven and wondering if it would ever happen again and what it would have been like if my mom would have been around. Would my mom have put more effort into Christmas than my dad. You made it special you got us a tree and lights and food and I hated myself for allowing myself to get so involved, for letting you bring so much joy in my life when I knew it was only temporary."
"I'm sorry that..."
"Yea I know it's like what can you apologize for right? My dad being well as good as he could've been or me wanting you so much that I would endure anything as long as I got to be with you no matter what. It's ok I was so madly in love with you and in those moments I was thinking of us being like that for years to come but I knew it was a dream back then. Thank you for making my dreams come true princess."
"You're welcome. Thank you for being the family I need." She pulled me over to sit in her lap, I was content to know that our dreams were coming true.
Even after a year together I don't take these mornings for granted.
"Good morning baby." She always knew how to wake me, soft kisses to my shoulder since I'm always curled up next to her.
"Good morning Ri. Will you take a shower with me so we can get ready to go?"
"Mmm, I love taking showers with you, do we have enough time?"