"Honey, I've been thinking..."
This is one of the phrases that instantly gets a husband's attention. It sits right up there with "honey we have to talk" which means "I'm pissed off at you, or "I've done something you won't like," or "does this dress look good on me" which is always an attempt to either get you to tell her she's the most gorgeous hunk of woman you know or to see if you will really tell her what you think. Sorry guys, no way to win your way out o f this trap. Either suck it up and hope since you have a 50/50 shot at glory, or go with guile and say "oh sweetie, it looks as good as it ever did." There is also the "if you love me....." Clause which means she knows you'll object but she wants you to do it anyway, "the I just did this for you so..." Request which means she knows she is asking a lot, but wants to make it look smaller by mentioning something she has done in a pre-emptive trade. Or my personal favorite, the ever irresistible "I'll make it worth your while" which is always accompanied by a flash of boob or leg, or if it is really a big deal, a grope and a kiss. With tongue.
Of course, most of those are easy to handle. I have difficulty with "Honey I've been thinking." I could probably defuse the issue behind the statement by saying that thing that first pops into my mind, "Congratulations dear, there is a first time for everything." However, I don't like sleeping on the couch, so I am very good at holding my tongue.
This time I should have said it. I should have short circuited what she was about to say, because her big idea pretty well disintegrated my interest in sleeping with her anyway. Yeah the couch looks good to me today.
"Our life has changed so much. The kids are out on their own, we are financially secure, we have no worries. But still we are locked into the routines we built over the last 25 years. Get up, go to work, come home, make dinner, kiss goodnight, go to sleep, repeat the next day. I want something exciting in my world."
I mulled it over. I considered our routines. I suggested travellling more on the weekends. Day trips to nearby attractions could be fun. I suggested adding to our subscriptions to the ballet which she loves, and our local baseball team, which I love. I suggested buying a boat or a motorcycle, tennis lessons, dance lessons, joining a bowling league, taking garden tours or doing book exchanges. These are all things we had either dreamed about or dallied in during our life together, so I thought I could rekindle some interests to spice up a life that had my lovely lady in the doldrums. My suggestions failed. Each and every one crashed and burned, until I suggested instead of kissing every night and having sex once every week or two, we have sex every night and kiss goodnight every week or two. I was kidding and let her know that.
"Actually, what I had in mind is something along those lines."
Imagine my surprise.
"Honey, we're 48 years old. We have sex once every week or two. I know you'd like more, but it's just so....so boring."
Imagine my surprise.
"You've been the only man I have ever loved, and always will be, so I don't want you to get all huffy, I want you to hear me out."
This couldn't be good. Diana never beat around the bush, she always went right to the point. Something big was really brewing in her pretty little head.
"You are also the only man I ever made love to, and that has me curious. I find myself wondering what's out there? You've always made me happy in bed, but Denise says...."
There it Was. Denise. I might have known. She was crazy. She was fun too, but crazy. She was game for anything that involved either nudity or sex. She was only a half a year out of her third marriage, and was hot on the prowl for candidates for loser #4. She had profited well from each divorce, and had a lovely little mansion on 5 acres by the country club along with a bank account nearly as large. She had 3 kids, one by each husband, all receiving child support from their wealthy dads.
Denise had been to every nude beach in the country and many abroad. She knew the most swinging cruises, the hottest clubs, the sexiest fashions. She was that girl who could wear 6" stilettos to the church picnic without any one batting an eye. She oozed lust, and she was my wife's best friend.
".....and I'm doing myself a great wrong if I don't sample some other guys before I get too old. So, what I propose is that I start going out with Denise on Friday nights and explore her world. This is the perfect time, before I start looking all old and saggy baggy, but since the kids are gone there will be no one to hurt."
No one to hurt. My stomach was about to project lunch all over the living room, but there was no one to hurt? "What about me?"
"Oh honey, Denise said you might feel jealous, but remember, I only love you, and I only ever will. But you were experienced with other girls before we met, so you know what the field is like. I only know you! Don't I deserve to taste some other flavor s?"
"Diana, what happens if you like one of these other flavors so much you can't give it up. What if you come to love someone else? What happens to me? I have everything to lose if you do this, and so do you! We have a perfect life, and in a couple years we will both retire. We can travel, we can explore, and do it together. We are right on the verge of our golden years, when we can rekindle those intense feeling we had as kids, before our kids came along and put us into parent mode. What's in this for me? You know even in a no fault state, the man gets raped in a divorce, if I even considered...."
"No, no, no, you don't understand. I don't ever want to divorce you, I want to keep you! Honey, I want those golden years to be amazing too! And even though Denise says I could really set myself up well financially with a couple of divorces, I can't imagine not spending my old age with you! I knew you'd come up with this angle, because you always think of everything, and in your shoes, it would be the first argument I made. So I had Bobbi write up a contract for us spelling out clearly what would happen if we did divorce. Now remember, I don't want that at all, this is just to ease your mind."
I read the contract. Bobbi was good, funny thing is she is my partner! We run a solid little two person firm that gives our clients excellent general legal care, specializing in nothing, but practicing everything. Bobbi took good care of me in this contract. The division of property left my wife the house and contents, but gave me our ski condo, the beach house and my fishing cabin. That was a financial wash, so no complaints. Diana made a good salary, and always wanted to keep her own money. We would keep our own bank and investment accounts, and we each had our own retirement, so that would all remain intact...to each his own. I had paid off the mortgage two years ago, so there would be no spousal maintenance, and the kids had college funds that would easily get them through undergrad and pay a good chunk of grad school if they chose to go. It was actually very neat and clean, and I would not get raped.
Bobbi deserved a thank you lunch. However there would be a significant bit of questioning as to why she couldn't have given me a heads up. Sure there was client confidentiality, but we were partners....wasn't there a conflict of interest? I reasoned there was, but Bobbi had protected my interests in this too, so I'd let her off the hook. Maybe even upgrade that lunch to dinner....shit!
Bobbi and I were awesome partners at work, but we spent every unguarded moment we had flirting like adolescent idiots! Wait a minute, That's it! What the hell was I doing asking Diana "What about me?" I should have been asking myself that question. Bobbi flirts with me. Clients flirt with me. Neighbors flirt with me. Women at the country club flirt with me. Hell, her best friend Denise openly propositions me right in front of Diana.
Ok, wifey wants to play with fresh meat? Let her. She wants to see what's out there? Fine. She wants to compare me to other guys? Ok. I'm not sure she realized what she was doing by dropping me into such a target rich environment. I'm not sure she realized Bobbi's contract was written in such a way that the door was open for me to go out on the prowl too. I signed each copy right below her name, and smiled like the cat that got the cream. Without a word, I handed her a copy, and slid mine into my file cabinet, which I discreetly locked.
"Ok babe. You are a free woman. From here on out, you can play as you wish. I only ask two things. No playing in our room. We need to keep a bed for you and me alone. And no sloppy seconds. I want a full 48 hours between your last fuck and our next fuck. Fair enough?"
"Oooooh, Teddy, I love when you talk dirty. But remember, we won't be fucking, we'll be making love!"
"No Diana. Making love is for two people who love each other, and only each other. If you start making love, it will be with someone else, and that will be the end of us. As long as this relationship we share is open, we will be fucking."
"No baby, you misunderstood! Part of the whole cuckolding culture is the loving re-connection when the woman comes home and makes love to her husband. And Sloppy seconds is a big part of that! You have to accept my extra marital activities to show me you love me enough to let me explore, knowing I will come back to you."
"Cuckolding culture? No Hun, that's not how this will work. Read your contract carefully. There is nothing in there that spells out our relationship as a cuckold marriage. A cuckold is a man whose wife has sex with other men, while he stays home faithful or celebate. Sorry Dear, I couldn't stomach that. As a matter of fact, I almost hurled my lunch when you first suggested stepping out today. A hotwife is a woman who has sex with other men, while her husband knows and often participates. I have no interest in sharing you while I am there watching. What your contract described was an open marriage. We are both free to fuck around as much as we like, and there weren't many rules or guidelines attached to your agreement. So yeah, we are both unrestricted free agents."
She picked up her contract and carefully re-read it. As the realization of what she had done set in, her shoulders slumped. I knew the seeds of curiosity had already taken root in her mind. I also knew she was considering abandoning the idea, since it wasn't quite what she planned. But her curiosities had grown to the point they needed exploration. If she didn't do it this way, she was bound to cheat on me sooner or later. But now there were new seeds growing too. Now she too had something to lose. She too had to risk me finding someone else I might love. She too was risking everything.
The doorbell rang. She slid out of my study to answer it, and I followed. Denise breezed into the door.
"So did he go for it?"
Diana glanced my way. Denise followed her glance and turned to face me.
"So Denise, you are taking my wife from me every Friday night?"
Denise was on the spot. I guess she expected me to be gone, fuming and stewing about what I was going to do with Diana's proposal. She didnt say a word, she only nodded.
"It's gonna cost you."
Diana and Denise both got to be surprised this time.
"If you get her Fridays, I get you Sunday."
The ladies were dumbfounded. I took Denise's head in my hands and drew her to me to kiss. I kissed her deeply and passionately. I didn't even look at Diana. I picked Denise up, and carried her into my study where I bent her over the padded arm of my leather couch and fucked her silly.
We were in the study for two hours straight, devouring each other. Diana was right, a bit of fresh meat was inspiring, and lit a spark in me that hadn't seen daylight since high school. My dick sprang back to life again and again. Denise was quite vocal, and in les than an hour I heard Diana's car start and she pulled out. I didn't pull out. Not once. When my wife returned, Denise was showered and dressed, and I was grilling steaks.
Neither Denise nor I could get Diana to talk over dinner. But the two of us enjoyed an endless stream of discourse. When it was time to go, I kissed Denise ever so gently, in just that special way that always made Diana melt.
"See you next Sunday," I said.
"No, I'll see you Friday when I pick Diana up for girls night."
"Maybe, but you never know, I may have a date."
She grinned, and left. I grinned, and headed to watch the Sunday night game. Diana cried as she did dishes. She reached for me in bed. I held her close. She wanted more, but I reminded her, there needed to be a 48 hour cushion to avoid sloppy seconds. She rolled over.
Diana left for work early, as usual. She was a real estate agent, and early birds got the worm. She left me coffee and breakfast, as usual. The paper was on the table, as usual. Everything was as usual, except the smile on my face. I had to hand it to my wife, a little extramarital action did leave me with a spring in my step. Still, I wished it had been her giving me that spring. I loved my wife. Denise felt good for sure. The woman could fuck like crazy, but nothing compared to making love to "the one." I may have turned the tables on Diana, but I didn't like it. I wanted a one man woman, like I had always had.
Bobbi was grinning from ear to ear when I strolled into the office. I told her the entire tale, and then I asked her to dinner. She said she knew I'd pick up on the opening she left me with the contract language, and giggled like a school girl when I told her about Denise. She liked my sloppy second rule, and the rule keeping our bed sacred. She accepted the dinner offer, but on the condition we go that night. We left work together.
Dinner was great. Desserts were fantastic. The wines were amazing. And Bobbi was hot. We went back to her place and fucked for hours. Again I rebounded like a teenager. As we lay in bed panting she told me that she didnt want this to become a regular thing, but that she had fantasizes being with me for years.
"There were days the bulge in your pants was so tempting, I wanted you so badly. But your marriage was so important to you, I never would have done anything about it. I know you love Diana, but when she came up with this hare brained idea, I couldn't resist, if just for my one chance to have you. Teddy, tomorrow we go back to being friends and partners, but tonight, I loved being your woman. You know something, there are very few guys with a dick that size. Even if Diana finds a well endowed guy, the chances of her finding one bigger than you are slim to none. And you know how to use it too. All that and a love like you have for her? She'll be back."
"Maybe Bobbi, but if she waits too long, there may not be a me to come back to."
"Baby, if that happens, I want first dibs. I told Diana she was crazy to do this, you were too good a catch to release back into the wild. If she is out of the picture, you're mine."
We kissed, I went home. Diana was asleep, so I showered and slept in the guest room. She was however, waiting for me at breakfast.
"So Denise tells me you are the best fuck she ever had. I never knew size was such an issue until she told me to explore. That was the reason behind all of this. I told her sex had become boring and there were nights I just wanted you to finish and get off. I didn't feel like the work was worth the result. Today she told me I'm an idiot. Any woman who could get a guy with a cock like yours should be sucking and fucking him every chance she gets just to make sure she keeps him forever. She also told me that if I did lose you, she intended to make you #4 even if it meant losing her fortune to YOU in a divorce. Teddy, can we abandon this thing. It was really stupid. I just couldn't handle you making love to Denise, and suddenly saw what I asked of you in a different light."
At first I wanted to snatch up her offer. But I needed to make sure those curiosities were dead and gone. Besides, I was kind of on a roll. After years of making love once every week or two, I had gotten laid twice in two days. Denise was a tiny brown haired beauty, and was a sexual dynamo who moved like she could read a partner's mind. Bobbi is a tall voluptuous blonde whose pussy tastes like butter and whose tits feel like heaven. Yeah, Pandora's box was wide open, and I wanted to play in it. Pandora was hot.
"Diana, there was a reason behind all of this. You had a desire that you couldn't keep down, you had to act on it. That desire is gonna come back, and eventually you'll give in and cheat on me. I much prefer it this way, honest and above board. So go out and get your samples. Get this out of your system and see how I measure up. If you follow through this month and find that you still miss me, and want to go back to it being just the two of us, we'll do it together. But put this thing to rest first. I don't want to hear about it later if you give it up. And if we go back and I catch you cheating, I will divorce you and use that contract against you as my big hammer."
She reluctantly agreed. That night she reached for me again. But it still hadn't been over 48 hours since I had Denise screaming in the study, and the news about Bobbi floored her. She sniffed herself to sleep again, with my off limits body spooning her. Maybe Thursday night.
This is golf day. I only work mornings on Wednesdays, then in good weather head off to play 9. This wasn't however, a good weather day. However when one man's rain sadly robs him of a day on the links, another's gets him into his sexy neighbor's pants.
I saw Carla's SUV on the shoulder, and pulled over. Her tire was flat, and she was struggling with the jack. I jumped out to help her and in short order, had her ready to roll. We were both soaked, and she insisted I follow her home for a hot cup of Joe and lunch. I did.
She made shitty coffee. But what was notable was this woman's body. She took off her blazer as soon as the coffee maker was doing its thing, and my mouth must have dropped open. Her white blouse clung to her with the rain, and had soaked her through and through. I could clearly see the intricate lace pattern on a very sexy bra. I knew there was not much more to it than the light delicate lace, as also clearly visible were her exquisite breasts.
"Down boy. You're a married man."
I laughed. I laughed some more. My belly laughed. Well, I had a pretty flat belly, I keep myself in shape. But if I were fat I would have broken things. When I got control, I explained my wife's foolish plan. Carla laughed then. She too had a flat stomach, so her belly didnt jiggle, though would have if she wasn't in shape. Those tits however heaved and ho'd with every breath. She too got control. Do you know how amazing a woman feels when her skin is wet? I was kind of all over her. But it was mutual. We ripped off our soaking clothing and raced to her shower. We warmed up under the steaming water. Then we warmed up in her bed. We warmed up in the shower again. Then I got dressed to go home. Carla hadn't had sex in months, since her divorce.
"Teddy, I hope you and Diana get on track, I mean I like you both a lot. You are sweet neighbors. But if something goes wrong, please think of me. I could really go for a guy like you. Thats both a request and an offer. This is me begging. As long as you and she are open....please come fuck me every chance you get?"
I didn't say no.
Diana was waiting for me. I was late for dinner, but it was ok. she hadnt made anything. We had a lovely conversation, and she confided that she hade made her first conquest. She was very disappointed though.
She had shown him a house, and he made an offer. They had gotten busy on the phone, and by the end of the day, the owner had accepted a bid, and the deal was all but done. They had concluded most of the leg work in the business center at his hotel, then celebrated with drinks....her treat. He invited her to continue with champagne in his room. She told him she had enough champagne, she just wanted to fuck. I told you she liked the direct approach.