Superman's Gal Pal, Jamie Olsenbyjoea1000©
The gorgeous redhead sat typing at her desk, amazed that her long, red fingernails didn't get in the way of her ability to fly across the keyboard.
"I guess it's true," thought Jamie, "you really can adapt to anything!"
She laughed out loud at the thought. Recently, her ability to adapt had met larger challenges than typing with the long fingernails her mistress insisted on.
"Olsen, get in here!" bellowed Daily Planet editor Perry White.
"Coming Chief," said Jamie, as she walked as quickly as her tight pencil skirt would allow. Her ample breasts bounced as she moved, barely supported by her brassiere, as the short steps required by her skirt and 5" stiletto heels caused her bottom to sway in the delightful figure eight savored by the male staff members.
"I wish Lois would let me wear pants once in awhile," thought Jamie.
Pants - even if they did have the zipper in the back - would have been a welcome relief, but were forbidden by Jamie's mistress, Lois Lane. Lois was putting Jamie through a crash course in femininity, for reasons we shall soon see. For the foreseeable future,
Jamie would never wear anything except dresses, skirts, heels and full makeup.
"...and don't call me Chief," yelled Perry. "Here, type this and upload it to Lane and Kent. I can't have my two best reporters digging into Lexcorp's latest scam without background info!"
"Sure, Chief," said Jamie.
"Great Caesar's Ghost! Don't call me Chief!"
"Out!" yelled Perry, as he began berating the delivery boy from the deli who had committed the crime of bringing tuna on rye instead of pastrami.
Clicking away on her stilettos, Jamie wiggled back to her desk. She wished some of the men in the office would be more discreet when they gawked at her. Not that she could blame them - Lois made her dress in a way that screamed "woman!"
Back at her desk, Jamie rummaged through her cavernous handbag for her lipstick (Lois insisted on fresh makeup at all times).
Inside, she spotted a tampon and thought, "My period is coming around again already? I just had the damn thing!"
She also spotted her Superman signal watch. As she lifted it out of her bag, she saw how huge it was - it would never fit her dainty wrist. She would have to ask Superman for an appropriately feminine version, she thought to herself, as she thought about the series of events that had rendered her unable to wear the watch.
CHAPTER I The Fortress of Solitude
"This is incredible," gasped Jimmy Olsen, as he walked through the intergalactic zoo that Superman maintained at his Fortress of Solitude in the Arctic.
At Jimmy's side hovered a remote mobile unit of KARA (Kryptonian Advanced Retrieval Array), the Fortress of Solitude's central computer. "Kal El apologizes for having to leave you here at the Fortress, and has asked me to make your unplanned stay as enjoyable as possible. He suggested that a tour of the zoo would be entertaining."
"Entertaining is not the word," said Jimmy. "These alien species are amazing!"
The Man of Steel had recently put a major dent in Intergang, the organized crime operation that ran the underworld in Metropolis. Jimmy's skill as a photographer and his ability to go undercover in drag had helped Superman gather invaluable evidence against several drug lords and pimps. To show his appreciation, Superman had brought Jimmy to the Fortress of Solitude for what was to have been an overnight visit.
"Superman, this is amazing!"
Jimmy and Superman stood at the bottom of a huge wall of ice. The face of the wall was embedded with hundreds of video monitors, each displaying a feed from one of the numerous Kryptonian-design satellites Superman had placed in orbit around Earth. The satellites monitored world-wide communications and forwarded alerts regarding situations that might require the Man of Steel's attention.
"Thanks, Jimmy. This communication center keeps me informed about breaking situations all over the world. Sometimes, the hardest part of my job is deciding which situation takes priority. Even I can't be everywhere at once!"
As Jimmy's tour was about to continue, the communications center began sounding alarms.
"Excuse me, Jimmy," said Superman. "Information on something important must be coming in"
Superman left the ground and hovered in mid air before the huge bank of monitors.
"Great Scott!," he gasped as the screens began filling with images of worldwide devastation, chaos and overwhelmed local authorities. All over the world, natural disasters were unfolding. Earthquakes. Volcanoes. Tsunamis. Mudslides, floods, and forest fires. All seemed to be occurring everywhere at once.
Returning to the ground, Superman said, "I was afraid of something like this. We are in a unique astronomical situation. Today, all of the planets in our solar system are aligned in a straight line in reference to the sun - which itself has been going crazy with sunspot activity. KARA has been predicting the possibility of natural disasters due the alignment's effect on Earth's gravitational field. It looks as though her predictions were accurate. Jimmy, I have to go."
"Of course, Superman. Jeepers, it looks as though the Mayans may have been onto something!"
"I'm not sure when I'll be able to get back. It might be a few days. Things are a real mess out there."
"Don't worry about me Superman. Please go. People need you!"
"Thanks. KARA will provide whatever you need while you're here. I'll be back ASAP!"
With that, the Man of Tomorrow took to the skies and rocketed towards the west coast of the United States, where the shifting of the San Andreas Fault had collapsed the Golden Gate Bridge.
"Well Mr. Olsen," said the mobile KARA unit hovering at his side, "would you like to continue your tour of the Fortress?"
"The journalist in me wants to stay glued to these monitors - but there isn't much I can do while I'm stuck up here in the Arctic. Besides, how often do you get a chance to tour a zoo filled with alien species?"
CHAPTER II The Zoo
The tiny starship that carried the infant Kal El to Earth had on board what can best be described as a mainframe super computer named KARA (Kryptonian Advanced Retrieval Array). In keeping with Kryptonian tradition, KARA was referred to in the feminine, and spoke in a very natural sounding female voice. She was another example of Krypton's crystal based technology. Storing data on beams of light, KARA had almost infinite storage capacity and speed of light data retrieval. Virtually the sum total of Kryptonian science, history and culture were contained within her storage. As the years rolled on, KARA became part assistant, part valet, part concierge and a companion to Superman.
Part of KARA's programming was the creation of the Fortress of Solitude, intended to be both a refuge and a resource for the Last Son of Krypton. The Fortress of Solitude was an amazing sight. Crystal spires reached several stories into the sky - all hidden from prying eyes and spy satellites by a Kryptonian cloaking field. Throughout the Fortress, Kara had deployed numerous mobile droids that served as extensions of herself. It was one such mobile unit that hovered along side Jimmy as he toured the Fortress' zoo.
"I'm glad you're enjoying the tour, Mr. Olsen. Kal El will be pleased to know your stay, although unplanned, was to your liking," said KARA.
"That is the understatement of the century," replied Jimmy as he and the hovering KARA unit at his side toured the Fortress' zoo of alien species.
"What can you tell me about this species? They look like a cross between lions and deer."
"Ah, yes, the Orions," replied KARA. "Kal El is particularly interested in these animals. They were named Orions after the constellation in which their home planet is located. "Kal El brought this group of Orions to his zoo in order to study their social structure and reproduction."
"It looks as though the large one is in charge," said Jimmy.
"That is correct, Mr. Olsen. The large Orion is the herd's "king," the sole male. All other members of the herd are female - his harem, if you will. As it happens, the old king is approaching the end of his reign. He is dying of old age. "
"All Orion begin life with both male and female genetic code. This species' survival strategy is to designate one male per herd. Once the male has been selected, that Orion's male characteristics become dominant and the animal actually morphs into a male, complete with the mane of hair and the antlers that you see. All other members of the herd become female. As a result, each heard has one seed carrier and several incubation units - which means the herd has many offspring. In the case of the Orions, survival of the species is insured through pure numbers. No matter how many calves are lost to disease or predators, there are so many young that the herd survives"
"What happens if something happens to the male?" asked Jimmy.
"If the herd's male is incapacitated or dies, a signal is transmitted to the reset of the herd. A new king is selected from among the rest of the herd and that animal morphs from female to male."
KARA continued, "Discovering how that signal is transmitted is the reason for Kal El's interest in thes species. The signal that goes out to the members of the herd is like nothing so much as a biological wireless network. That this signal triggers actual physical changes in the members of the herd is what has captured Kal El's interest."
"Why?" asked Jimmy.
"The "wireless signal" and its ability to trigger physical change are very reminiscent of Kryptonian technology. When the infant Kal El was sent to Earth from the doomed planet Krypton, the starship carrying him did not immediately land on the surface of his adopted planet. Instead, the ship orbited earth for several months before selecting a landing site."
"During that time I monitored communications on earth. I concluded that the United States was the most stable political and economic structure on the planet and that males are the dominant gender in human society."
"Having made these determinations, I activated the ship's morphic adaptation unit, converting the infant Kal El into a Caucasian male human."
Jimmy was stunned. "What do you mean, 'Converting' him into a male human? What was he beforehand?"
"Mr. Olson, please think about it. What are the odds that another species on a planet light years from earth would evolve in exactly the way human beings did? It's impossible!"
"Kryptonians were definitely humanoid. They were similar to humans - one head, two arms, two legs, etc, but very different in appearance. They were taller, thinner, had larger heads, solid black eyes and grayish skin."
"The morphic adaptation unit on the infant Kal El's ship converted him into a form that I determined would increase his chances for survival. If I had determined that some other part of the world or a different culture would have done so, he might have emerged from his gestation pod looking African, Asian or as a female."
"As it is, Kal El actually is what he appears to be - a human male. The changes made to his genetic code make him so. The critical difference is that his body's cells retain enough of their Kryptonian heritage so that they convert sunlight differently from the cells of native humans."
"Where 100% human beings have bodies that convert sunlight into vitamin D, Kal El's body converts that solar energy into the powers that make him Superman."
"Which brings me to the answer to your question - why is Superman so interested in this species?"
"It is all well and good for Superman to stop a bank robbery or prevent a jet airliner from crashing, but long-term it would be much more significant for mankind if disease and hunger could be eradicated. Therefore, for quite some time, Kal El has been trying to find a way to apply Kryptonian cell-morphing technology to species native to this planet. If the same biological process that allows Kal El to convert sunlight into super powers could be applied to corn or wheat, those strains of grain would be hardy enough to flourish in the desert or above the Arctic Circle. Think of the effect such grain wuld have on world hunger!"
"Similarly, cancer is thought to be caused by damage to a cell's DNA, causing abnormal cell growth. If Kal El can find a way to apply Kryptonian cell-morphing to abnormal cell growth in human beings, he will have cured cancer!"
"It's unfortunate Kal El was called away at this particular time. As I mentioned, the Orion herd's sole male is about to die of old age. A new king will be selected. It is critical that data on this process be gathered as part of Superman's ongoing research."
At that moment, KARA's central command center began broadcasting alarms to all of her mobile units.
"Excuse me, Mr. Olsen - an important message is coming through - abnormal seismic activity has been detected here in the Arctic."
It began as a low rumble and grew stronger with each passing second. Soon the ground beneath Jimmy's feet seemed to turn to liquid as the fortress was convulsed by one of the huge earthquakes occurring world-wide.
As Jimmy tumbled into a huge fissure that had opened in the cavern floor, he was sure he was going to die. He very well may have, if not for KARA. The mobile unit hovering near Jimmy ejected a cable that wrapped around his ankle and retracted, pulling him to safety.
"Good Lord," gasped a shaken Jimmy. "I owe you my life. Thank you!"
"You are very welcome Mr. Olsen. Suffice to say, Kal El would not have been pleased had I let anything happen to you."
Jimmy rubbed his ankle where KARA's tentacle had caught him. "Looks as though I got cut while you were pulling me to the surface. A small price to pay!"
"Mr. Olsen, KARA central is advising me that the Fortress has sustained massive damage. Fortunately, we were in the zoo when the earthquake hit. Kal El designed incredibly strong protection for this area, precisely in case of a natural disaster. If some of these alien species were introduced into Earth's ecosystem it would create an environmental nightmare. To prevent any escapes, reinforced walls closed around the zoo during the earthquake. So, we are safe - but trapped until such time as we are freed, which I am sure Superman will do as soon as he returns."
"It looks as though some of the cages and fences in the zoo were damaged...I see Orions outside their compound," said Jimmy.
"Please don't worry, Mr. Olson. The Orion are quite gentle. Unfortunately, if looks as though the shock of the earthquake was too much for the herd's elderly king...he has died."
"Mr. Olsen, you must excuse me. With the king having died, a female will now morph into a male. This is precisely the process Kal El wants to record. I must gather as much information about the transformation process as I can with my on board sensors."
"Don't mind me," replied Jimmy. "Go do your job. I'll just park myself on this rock until Superman gets us out of here!"
"Great," thought Jimmy to himself. "Superman is helping thousands of people. KARA is conducting important research. Mr. Kent and Ms. Lane are sure to be covering this disaster. I'm sitting on a rock inside a buried zoo. I hope I get to do something important someday!"
Jimmy noticed that the rock on which he was sitting was now surrounded by Orion does, all milling about nervously.
Suddenly, two of the does began ritual combat to determine which would be morphed into the herd's new king.
The animals bit, kicked, scratched, pummeled and mauled one another until one was too exhausted to continue and fell to the ground, dead.
The victorious doe sounded an otherworldly victory bellow and lay down. The future king was surrounded by the rest of the herd, all of whom began licking every inch of their new king's body. Their alien tongues secreted an enzyme that caused a cocoon to form around the victor. She would remain encased in the cocoon for several weeks while her body went through its chrysalis - a process similar to a caterpillar becoming a butterfly. The animal would emerge as king and proceed to impregnate the other members of the herd, insuring survival for another season.
"What an incredible thing to witness," thought Jimmy, as the doe who's head he had been scratching turned her head and began to lick his hand.
CHAPTER III The Recovery Room
As Jimmy's eyes fluttered open, he felt disorientated. Try as he might, he could not remember where he was. All he could see was a plain white ceiling. He tried to get up and discovered he could not. He was restrained by straps at his ankles, thighs, waist, shoulders and wrists. He couldn't see them because his head was also held firmly in place by the strap across his forehead.
Jimmy tried to get up again and let out a groan that sounded strange to his ears.
Jimmy heard what he recognized as KARA's voice coming over a loud speaker.
"Alert! The patient is trying to articulate!"
The sound of a pneumatic door opening was soon followed by Jimmy looking up into the faces of Superman and Lois Lane.
"Welcome back, Jimmy," said the Man of Steel. "You gave us quite a scare!"
"Wh - What happened? Were am I? Why can't I get up?"
"Sorry Jimmy. You were restrained for your protection. I'll have you out of the restraints in just a minute."
"What happened? Where am I?" repeated Jimmy.
"Patience, Jimmy," said Lois. "Everything is fine and we will explain everything."
"What's wrong with my voice?" asked a frightened Jimmy. "I sound different!"
"As Lois said, everything is fine," said Superman. "Jimmy, you've been out of commission for weeks - ever since the earthquake hit the Fortress.
Jimmy was growing very anxious and asked urgently, "What happened?"
The Man of Steel continued, "The earthquake that hit the Fortress reduced it to rubble. All that survived was the reinforced zoo. Thank goodness that's where you were! You'll recall you were isolated with the Orion herd, just as the process of selecting a new king was initiated. I don't know yet exactly how it happened, but you were effected by the same gender morphing process as the doe who became the new king."
"Let me jump in, Superman," said Lois Lane in her usual direct fashion.
"Look, Jimmy, the zoo was self contained by reinforced walls and immersed in a gender morphing energy. Even though he was not physically present, Superman must have left some sort of energy fingerprint in the area. It looks as though the Orion process identified Superman as the alpha male (which is hardly surprising). You were the only other member of the human species present. It seemed obvious to the Orions that you were intended to be one of his does. So, they made you one. You're a girl."
"WHAT?" yelled Jimmy, but as soon as he heard "his" voice again, he knew it was true.
Superman said, "Now Jimmy, I know this is a shock. It would be for anybody. Everything is going to be OK. Try to relax while I get you out of those restraints."
Once the restraints were loosened and he could sit up, the first thing Jimmy noticed was the weight of the substantial pair of breasts that now resided on "his" chest.
As she brought a mirror, Lois said, "Now Jimmy, remember - you've been in a hospital - you don't look like a glamour girl!"
As Superman moved Jimmy into a wheelchair the freighted former lad took the mirror from Lois. "He" was stunned. Looking back out of the mirror was a cute girl who looked like a combination of some of Jimmy's female relatives.
"What happens now?" asked Jimmy. "Can I change back?"
"KARA is working on that very question," said Superman. "I have made it her number one priority. For now though, we don't know the answer. There has to be some reason a human being was affected by the biological process of an alien species. When the Fortress was destroyed, something was combined with the Orion's energy field that affected you in the same as the new Orion king – a change in gender occurred."