Susan Speaks

It was so funny how I began talking with my sister slave. My former Master got us talking so that He might have us both. I guess we took it from there. Oh My God! The first time I heard her sweet lovely voice I melted and that never changed. I talked to her and her Master Jim and got to know them more. But my heart was with sis. I knew to have her I had to accept Jim as well. I worked very hard to get to care for Him more and it really helped when sis sent me His picture He was a very nice looking man for His age. I was so happy when I saw that He was indeed nice to look at. Well that is how I felt around then. But to hear sis's sweet voice on the phone just made me into puddles. Jim did not have a bad voice but it was sis that I fell in love with from the start. I did care deeply for Jim as well. But it was nothing like I felt for my sis. I pray He can forgive me for saying this, but if not for the love I could see that sis had for Him. He would have had to watch His back because I would have done everything in my power to take her from Him at that time. But I could not for I knew the love she had for that Him.

I will never forget when I was finally going to get to meet them. I watched for hours for a bike and nothing. It was so bitter cold out I was worried. Then I saw it go down the road and back up again. I was sitting in my car and put the care in drive and took off after that bike. I pulled up along side the bike as I saw it come to a stop. It was them and I was thrilled. It was night and black as pitch. I saw my sis but could not tell much about her at all really, nor Jim. But once inside the house and sis was removing her riding gear my heart stopped. Her hair of golden blonde curls fall so lovely around her soft girlish like face. She had eyes that danced with mischief and beauty. And when she giggled it was like she was 19 and her face and look was of that age and her beauty was so overwhelming to me I cannot put it into words. Then there was Jim; He was not bad looking at all. I gave sis a hug first and felt myself inside melt when I felt her soft and loving touch. Then I gave Jim a hug it was not bad and let me just say this I did learn to care for Jim a lot. But I was in heat for my sis.

I know at times she felt I did not like her. And I tried to make her see I did, and more than she would ever know. I think at times she did not think I cared as much for her because I would not let her use me sexually but I did not wish her to feel below me ever. That, I would not have and was afraid that is what she would think, feel like if I had given in to her? I loved to please her in all ways. I loved her sweet taste and tender touch. Hell, that woman could have asked anything of me and she would have gotten it. In time Jim got close to having the same with me but never the way it was for me with sis.

After they had warmed up, we went to the motel. When we got inside we sat and ha a few beers and the only thought that was running through my head was that I hoped I could get a hold of slave. I wanted her so bad. Then we took off all our clothes Jim asked us too and sat down and started to touch each other a little but it was not long before Jim was right there between us. He teased me and played with me I laid back and let it happen. I could feel Jenny touching my arm and I felt very safe. After some time Jim was all caught up in His play. I felt Jenny move away, and my heart ached, I wanted to run away at that point. I did all I could to get Jim to see that she had indeed moved to the other bed and was not there near me. He did not hear a word I told Him which most of the time He did not. I just wanted sis next to me she made me feel so safe.

After Jim had His fun that is when He saw her setting on the other bed and told her to get back over here. I thought to myself at this time Damn Man you just noticed she was not here? Gezzzz! And something about it to me seemed so bad I could feel the hurt and all in my sis's heart. Yes, I had just met her but there was something there and I felt just about all that she did. With Jim present there was no chance of letting her know that I felt and could tell that she did as well. It tore me apart inside. But Jim was Master that is what slave always told me above all else He got His way. It broke my heart to feel her hurt and Jim never saw it. I tried to tell Him at times and He did not want to hear it. He even got pissed at me and told me I was here to tend to His needs that slave would be in again in a few then she could play as well. Well I knew with all my heart that if He started to play when she took a nap or went out side it hurt her greatly when she came back and saw Him playing with me without her.

I can tell everything now with all my heart that I never wished to play without her but one specific time the entire time I was with them, but that is another story and it was not play but my claming. It was so bad. I felt no pain but in my heart cause that we had spoken about it so much and agreed that sis would not be there for it. slave was so hard on her and yet He laid her feeling aside and did it anyway I tried to make Him feel as much guilt and make Him think that He had me in great pain so that it would end fast and that sis could get the hell out of that tent. If He would have stopped and thought about it, He would have remember what an anal slut I was and He would have known there was no way that what little He was doing would have been hurting me at all. But as I said that is another story. I not sure how well I hid my hurt and broken heart that I felt for my sis. I wanted her out of all the hell that she was in I could feel the hurt she had at home and now could see it with me and that is not what I wanted at all. I knew I could not fix the way Jim did things any time soon but I could darn sure get some of the pain off my sis and take it for her.

I did not wish her to do all the cleaning at all. As sis stated I sucked at housework. I fussed at her about doing too much and that I would get around to it one day. But sis was one that had to have it done when it needed to be. At night in our bed I did pull away from her as I said before I did not wish her to serve me in anyway. I wanted to please her with all my heart and really even though Jim said we were as equals. I did not see it like that at all. My sis was over me in every way. Unless Jim told me I had to do something other than what sis said I did as she told me, to me she was my Queen. It was that Jim kept me from letting her know that more and more. I know it should have been the other way around but it was sis that I met first and sis that won my heart first.

A Portion of a Chat This follows Susan Speaks

Susan_ I never thought I could tell you how I really felt until you ask me to do this and now in this way, I have been able too. Thanks sis. I wrote something a few times and deleted it ever time. But you mean the world to me and I wanted you to really know that.

slave_ You do mean a lot to me.

Susan_ I worry about how I feel sis but it was the truth I will never forget the first time I saw you baby girl. (Smiles) It was the way I felt sis and you know I told you that many times, I am not sure you believed me but it was so very true you always made me feel good and safe.

slave_ i was under too much to know if what i felt was true or not.

Susan_ I know sis, I worried so much about you and still do baby. It kills me and breaks my heart to still think, feel you are or might be in pain or hurting. I have thought to myself a hundred times why did I push Jim so? Why did I not let Him fuck up and lose her? The only reason I did not give up on Him was because of the love you had for Him sis. Even if it meant I would lose you it was worth it to see you happy. The day you left to be with Him it was not tears for Him but that I was losing my sissy. And you know that in time I did care for Him as well but never like I did for you. I think at times He would get mad at me cause of that. Hell I still love you with all my heart. But Jim and I would kill each other cause of you. Loll There has been many times I have thought about coming to see you just to get Him going so He would tend to some of your needs or hell me tend to them but I never wished to hurt Jim sis. And I fear that some of what I say will, just like the claming. That I think I should leave alone big time.

Susan_ the only reason that it did not go on is because I wanted to make Him feel so bad about what He was doing and that is what I meant to happen. I could feel your pain and more. I was being bad but I could not see you hurt like that. It was the only time I ever out and out lied to Him sis, but I did it for you. I was in heaven eating you and Him teasing my ass till I heard your tears, then it broke my heart and it had to stop. I made it happen fast as well once I heard you hurting it stopped with in three minutes. I was not sure you knew and when I was setting to the side of the tent shaking it was not of fear or hurt, it was because I was so pissed. I could have blown up the world at that time I could not stand to feel you hurt sis. I still cannot, it kill me deep inside to know you were.

slave_ Want to know what i think sis?

Susan,_ what sis? I promise. Shit if I thought for a second that you were not happy and would leave Him, He would have to watch His back still.

slave_ i don't think you can be sub/slave to any man. A mistress or sub to a female if anything. i get that from what i know of you and from what you write.

Susan, Oh yea! You can be a Bitch but I still love ya. Susan_ you are about right lol But I am not even sure I could be a Mistress to a male

slave_ No i think you need a fem relationship.

Susan_ Do not get me wrong I love a hard cock more than anything.

slave_ so do i.

Susan_ But there is something about being with a woman that is so much greater to me.

slave_ Maybe a sub male for play only.

Susan_ But cannot live with out a cock. LOL

Susan_ I hear ya and Jim has a nice one of them for sure LOL

slave_ Very true.

Susan_ I have to give that to Him no one has never taken my ass and made it feel so good as Him for a male that is. LOL

Susan_ I am not a switch nor sub/slave, just someone who loves kink.

slave_ i agree.

Susan_ Well, I cannot say that I was slave to Randy but there was just something about Him that He got the upper hand and never let it go with me

slave_ maybe.

Susan_ Jim gave in with me to easy, you never did. Guess that is why you won my heart like you did.

slave_ i think you might be a mistress to some degree.

Susan_ But i do not like that side in me at all sis. I feel more at ease pleasing, guess it just has to be the right one.

Susan_ Sigh's

slave_ Yes i agree.

slave_ LOL i honestly felt that way, it seemed that way to me and may be hurtful to you and Jim. But i am telling how it was in our attempting to have a poly house.

Susan_ No sis, I knew how you felt and tried to get Jim to see it as well. Do you remember that day Jim was so pissed at you and I, you had gone out to do hang out the laundry, came back in and Him and I were arguing?

slave_ sis there were many times i doubted your intent. But as i said it might have been my own state of mind at the time. Yes.

Susan_ I understand sis 100%. Well sis that is because I had stood up to Him and told Him unless you were near me, I did not wish to be with Him at all. I did later tell Him it was not that I did not care for Him, but I would not see you hurt. He still did not see it. I loved you and still do with all my heart, Even if it means I cannot be with you. Hell yes, I wanted it all back many times. But then I sit and think, remembering the pain, hurt I know you did at times and always at the start had. If I knew it would or could change I would be back in a heartbeat. But I know it can never happen

slave_ sis many times i wish you were still apart of us and i know had my mind been in better shape things might have worked out. i failed in many ways myself.

Susan_ Jim is so bull headed and set in his ways I still love Him, and you never failed. It was Jim and I that failed you in so many ways.

slave_ It was my insecurities and weakness that helped make it fail.

Susan_ but we made you have them so it was not you at all, and you always told me He was Master and He should get His way.

slave_ i don't know. Yes and He should

Susan_ but you know that I did get pissed enough at times to let Him have it. Not sure it was the right thing to do but made my point and made me feel better even though you would hide. loll So much has changed....

slave_ yes i hid everything. my fears, doubts and pain. i had no choice.

Susan_ you thought you did, but I saw through you many times sis. you would never let me speak out and you were right, He would have blamed it on you, if I had.

slave_ Yes exactly.

Susan_ Really if truth were told it had nothing to do with you at all.

slave_ i couldn't risk losing Him.

Susan_ you know your love for Him is the only reason that I did not tell it like it was. So many of the times and again you asked me not to tell about all it took from you. I was really pissed not sure you ever heard about it but that day we were working on the sewer line and played in the shit, when we went to town? I let Him know how I felt about some things, what I felt was right. I was not sure He heard a word I said. I think He did a little because that afternoon He did not touch me till you were there with us. I also gave Him an evil eye as well. LOL I tried it so many ways and failed. For you I am so sorry.

slave_ Biker was Master, it was His decision alone.

Susan_ Yet it hurt you and me at times so much and we could not say much. If anything you know how I got to feeling at one point and you took over and not sure how but you let Him know that we did not need to be together.