Sweet Cyn

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"Yeah, of course," I agreed. He hurried out of the room. I wondered just how much of a pervert my brother really was... I was pretty sure I didn't want to know. I slipped into a skirt and tank and made my way to the basement where John was waiting for me. I was used to having to spot him sometimes when he did weights, it didn't really bother me though.

"Nice panties," he smirked.

"What!" I said in outrage. "Stop looking up my skirt!"

He laughed, "I wasn't trying, but you are giving me a clear view." I brushed my skirt down self consciously. "A couple of the guys are coming over later today by the way."

"Oh, how many?" I asked. I didn't mind his friends so much, not that I really liked them either though. They were just okay.

"Four. You going to join us or get out of the house?"

"Why are you asking me to hang out with you guys?" I asked.

"Because I'm assuming you have nothing better to do. Besides, they like you."

"Liar."

"They do. They're all jealous of me and wish they had a sister half a pretty as you."

"Ew, you have a bunch of sick friends."

"Yeah I know. Don't worry though, I won't let them touch you," he grinned.

"To late for that," I grumbled.

"What!? Who? When? Which of my pervy friends was trying to feel up my baby sister?"

"I'm not telling. It's not like it was anything serious."

"How come I didn't know you were going out with one of them?"

"Because we weren't really going out even. He was just... trying to get it in. Then I told him no and he's kind of pissed now."

"When was this?"

"I dunno, last summer."

"God, my secret slut sister."

"Shut up, I'm not a slut!"

"Please tell me who it was?"

"Nope."

"Come on, I want to know if I invited him over without even knowing it."

"Well who's coming?"

"Sam, Cameron, Zeke, and Jake."

"You invited him."

"So if you're not going to tell me who it is, should I break all their noses for trying to defile my sis?" he joked.

"Don't be ridiculous. It was no big deal."

He 'hrmf'ed very loudly. I stood patiently while I waited for him to be dripping sweat and finish his workout. Finally told me I could go. "You know, I think I will stick with you guys for awhile. It might be interesting," I decided as I left.

I went up to my room and put on some makeup and made sure I looked absolutely presentable. I kind of knew that they liked my company, but I had always been shy about it and preferred to hide away instead of enjoying their attention. Okay, I'll admit that Cameron was the jerk who tried to get me to bed him, but I was telling the truth when I said it wasn't a big deal. He stopped when I told him to, and now he just alternates glaring and staring at me. The others... well, I wondered if John was telling the truth about them all wanting sisters like me. I couldn't see the point in it... why would you want a hot sister?

I enjoyed hanging out with them that day. I found it incredibly entertaining to see John eyeing all of them, trying to figure out who I had my little encounter with. He didn't get anywhere close to figuring it out, seeing as all of them were eyeing me longingly. I was still kind of shy about accepting their compliments though. It was unnatural to me to be playing in the spotlight and I shied away from it a bit, announcing that I was going out for awhile.

Technically I wasn't really going anywhere. I just went up stairs to change into my swimsuit and go dive into the pool in our backyard. John came out eventually. "Where's everyone else?" I asked, seeing no one in toe.

"This ain't a gangbang, they're gone now. I'm just telling you I made you dinner," he said sweetly, "You want to eat out here?"

I nodded and he went back into the kitchen to get the food. What an interesting occurrence, my brother had made me dinner. "What's with the niceties?" I asked when he came back out with food (okay, he wasn't exactly a chef, but he could make a mean pasta).

"I dunno," he shrugged, "What's wrong with showing my sister I love her, now and again?"

"Nothing I guess. Thank you." I was still kind of shocked. I mean, we got along well, but it usually wasn't quite like that. Maybe he was losing his mind. I wasn't complaining though. I was glad we were eating outside, because I was still dripping wet in my bikini.

"And I feel bad for calling you a slut," he added.

"Oh yeah, that's okay, I know you were just saying it."

"But Cyn, I love you, and I just don't want you to get hurt and end up like mom," he said honestly. It was really sweet of him to say that too, I really appreciated it.

"I'm not going to let that happen, silly."

"I know you don't think so, but you know, lots of guys don't care. They just see beautiful innocent girls like you, they don't think about if they love you or not."

"Why do you think I haven't had a boyfriend in two years?"

"I thought you were just shy..."

"Well I am, but I started noticing it when I was on a date. All that stuff they say is bullshit the only thing they really mean is when they have their hand up your shirt," I sighed. "There should be more guys like you out there."

He frowned slightly, "That's what you're looking for? Someone like me?" he asked.

"What?" I hadn't realized how weird that had sounded. "No—of course not—I just meant... I don't know, nice guys."

He laughed halfheartedly, "That's a rare bread."

"Well, I have you, for now. So it's okay."

"You'll always have me," he said quietly. Before I knew what was going on, he gently kissed me. It couldn't have lasted more than two seconds, but I felt frozen in it for the rest of the evening. John, my brother John, had decided to kiss me for some unexplainable reason. It's not like it had never happened before, but it was rare, and diminished in frequency as we got older, and I don't recall it having been on the lips before. I guess there was nothing wrong with it. It had just shocked me. But what shocked me even more was how warm and tingly I felt inside.

"I um, yeah," I laughed away my shock. "Of course I will." I picked up our finished dinner dishes. "Thanks for dinner by the way," I said over my shoulder and I went back into the kitchen. Yeah, I was still stunned. God, the way I was acting it was like I had never been kissed before, but I guess that was just so different, and unexpected ...

I wondered what had gotten into him. Why did he do it? I mean, he was always the one who shied away from my touch. Why had he changed? I wasn't complaining. I liked physical contact; I found it comforting. I wondered if I should talk to him about it as I got into the shower. But that would be ridiculous. I was making it into a way bigger thing that it was.

Maybe John was right. Maybe I needed a boyfriend and I was just losing my mind from lack of romance. That was likely.

I walked out of the door into the object of my thoughts. "Yeah, here she is. She just got out of the shower," John explained into the phone before pushing it to me. It turned out to be our mom, checking up on us, saying that she'd be on her way back the next day.

"Did she tell you about next week?" asked John as I went to put the phone back downstairs.

"What about next week?" I asked. Mom hadn't mentioned anything to me. I readjusted my slipping towel.

"She'll be gone next weekend too. She said maybe even the weekend after."

"Oh, okay," I agreed. I would miss her, but John and I were becoming increasingly responsible and could manage on our own.

"She said that she was glad we weren't like most siblings..."

"She said that to me too. What does that even mean?"

"It means we don't fight much... or through massive parties while she's gone."

"Does that make us abnormal?" I asked.

"Dunno, I can think of a lot weirder things than not fighting and partying."

I agreed and went upstairs to put my pjs on, which I had been about to do before the phone call. I meandered to the bathroom to do my teeth brushing and pre-bedtime routine. I opened the door, my mind still on other things. "Crap, I'm sorry," I said quickly, when I noticed that I had walked in on my brother after his shower.

"It's okay," he said, drying his hair with the towel so that it stuck up all over the place. Soaking wet, it turned so dark it looked almost black.

"I thought you were in the other bathroom..." We sometimes split up into mom's bathroom while she was away so we didn't need to share.

"Nah, I didn't feel like moving my stuff in there just for a shower."

"I don't blame you," I agreed. "Do you mind if I'm in here? I just wanted to brush my teeth and stuff."

"Not at all," he said. I got my tooth brush ready and such stuff, absently looking at my brother while I did so. He'd grown a lot recently. Well, not really recent, but I guess I had never paid attention before. I mean, why would I spend time staring at his toned chest and abs? He caught my eye in the mirror, apparently he noticed me staring. "Like what you see?" he grinned.

I was caught off guard and completely embarrassed. "Jesus, I'm sorry," I stammered awkwardly, "I didn't mean to." In my fluster I accidently rammed my toothbrush in my throat, making me choke on my toothpaste and double over coughing.

He watched to make sure I was okay before responding. "I don't really mind. You're just my sister after all," he said nonchalantly. "'Sides, you're not the only girl who enjoys looking at me," he said slyly.

"What? No—I don't Jonathan!" I protested.

"So you don't like looking at me then?" he pouted.

"I ah—um, huh—no—I do, I just..."

"Relax," he laughed, "I'm just making you feel uncomfortable. It's working, isn't it?"

"Yes, that it is," I agreed sheepishly.

"I find that when talking to girls, if they get all tongue tied, I look a whole lot smoother."

"No, you look like an ass," I shot back. "Why do you have to do it to me?" I whined.

"Because, you're good to practice on," he said. "And, I'm your big brother and need to take my opportunities to make fun of you," he added.

"Once again, I'd like to point out that you are an ass!" I let my annoyance show.

"Aw, Cyn, you know I love you," he said, putting and arm around my waist and drawing me closer to him. He set me on the counter and took the washcloth from my hands and did it himself. "I was only teasing," he said sweetly as he wiped the soap from my face. "God, why is makeup so hard to get off?" he complained as he tried to gently rub it from my face. "Why bother?"

I shrugged, "I dunno, its fun."

"I fail to see the fun in this..." he said, holding up the darkened-with-makeup cloth.

"Yes you do." I put my legs around him (I was in the perfect spot to do so, seeing as I was sitting on the counter and we were facing each other) and drew him closer. "You like babying your little sis," I smiled.

"Brat," he said gruffly, and tried to hide his smile as he scrubbed my nose.

"You do, I know you do!" It was my turn to tease him.

"Fine," he gave in. "I. Love. My. Baby. Sis." He planted a kiss on my forehead, nose, chin, and both cheeks, one for each word. "But no telling," he whispered in my ear and gave me a peck on the lips. "It would ruin my manly reputation."

My god! The second time he had kissed me that day. Maybe he was losing his mind too... "Never would tell a soul," I agreed. Maybe I would just ask him what was going on... "What's with all the kisses today?" I asked casually. "Feeling lovie-dovie?" I teased, trying to make it sound like I wasn't as curious as I was.

"Eh, why not?" he said offhandedly. "Now get out," he slapped my butt lightly and pushed me off the counter.

I skulked off to my room, still wondering what the hell was going on.

In the morning we went off to school, knowing that mom would be home by the time we got back. It was nice to have her back. We managed well when she was away, but it always felt a little empty when she had to leave.

The next Friday morning before school she reminded us that she would be leaving that day and would not get home till Monday again. We agreed and went on the short walk to school. "So, you have a hot date tonight?" asked John while we walked.

"Huh? Um, no I don't..." I replied, suddenly noticing that I had nothing planned at all. Which seemed stupid because it was the last day of school. But all the parties I knew of where happening Saturday night.

"So you'd let me take you out tonight then?" he asked.

"What, you want to take me on a date?" I asked in disbelief. "I think you're losing it."

"God no, not on a date," he said quickly, "Just, out... you know. Unless you have something better in mind, that is."

I agreed and went off to my first period class, thinking that I pretty much had the sweetest brother ever. When we got home our mom was already gone, which she told us she would be.

The bliss and relief of having finished the last day of school filled me and I hummed happily to myself as I got ready to go out. I slipped on a fairly casual dress that I hardly ever wore. It was a little shorter and a little lower than I would usually wear. It was a shirtdress type thing, with one of the belts around the waist and such. I had occasionally got up the nerve to wear it on a date or two, but usually chickened out. I looked in the mirror and decided that the navy blue actually set off my eyes perfectly. Then I remembered that I was only going out with John, and it really didn't matter much to him how I looked. I sighed, he was right... I needed a boyfriend. You know you need one when your own brother takes pity on you.

I walked out of my room and stalked downstairs, feeling a bit sulky again. John wolf whistled when I came into the room. "Damn! Who knew I had such a hottie for a sister?" he joked.

"Shut up," I said, although I felt a little bit better. He took my arm and we walked to the restaurant that was a few blocks away. "Johnnie," I scolded, "What are the neighbors thinking?" I asked. It wasn't like it was anything amorous, but it just felt exposed to be walking along like that with him for the world to see.

"They're thinking that I just scored the hottest girl in town," he responded, making me blush fiercely. "Come on; relax," he said happily, "We're not doing anything wrong. Since when has it been a problem to hold my little sis's hand?"

"You don't see me complaining," I said truthfully. And I wasn't complaining, I was really enjoying his new found affection for me.

The rest of the evening was spent in a pleasant blur. Dinner was delicious and we went for a walk after it before heading back home.

"Goodnight, Cynthia," he said as he hugged me in front of my bedroom door.

"'Night," I retuned quietly. I stepped back into my room, finding that I was appreciating my brother more and more. Whatever women he ended up with would be a lucky one indeed. Then I shook myself back to my senses. What was I doing thinking like that?

The next day I spent most of the sunny day by our pool, working up my tan before the festivities that night.

I was below the water and choked, surfacing to see what pool-monster had attacked me. I coughed up water as I turned to John. "Surprise," he said playfully. He had somehow managed to slip into the pool without my notice and grab me from behind.

"Damnit!" I spluttered.

"Sorry, sweetie," he said, looking as though he wasn't very sorry and was greatly enjoying it.

"Insufferable idiot brother," I muttered, still trying to rid my lungs of the water.

"Fine," he said turning his back on me, "If that's what you think."

"No, no, Johnnie," I pleaded, clinging to his back and feeling weightless in the water. He ignored my presence on him and climbed out of the pool. "I didn't mean it," I said, not letting go of him. I hated it when he was mad at me, even if he was only playing.

"Get off," he said. I obeyed and my wet feet slapped against the pavement.

"Johnnie," I begged him.

"What?" he snapped, turning around.

"Please, I was only joking," I said, putting my arms around his neck. "You know that, I was kidding... come on, I love you..."

He looked at me, not with anger or teasing, but something else that I had never seen from him. He tilted his head to the side, "Ah hell," he said, sounding like he just gave in to something. "I know," he groaned. And then I recognized how he was looking at me. Longing. As soon as I registered it his lips had landed on mine.

This kiss wasn't like the ones of the previous weekend. This was different, this was not the innocent kiss of a brother. Nor of a sister for that matter. I melted as I felt his warm lips meet mine. No boy had ever kissed me with that much tender passion before, not like they actually loved me. I kissed him back, I didn't even think about what I was doing. I just let my lips search hungrily for my brother's.

Then it dawned on me what we were actually doing. I was filled with horror and guilt as I pulled away from him. He stumbled back a few steps, "I'm sorry," he stammered, but I was already running in side through the sliding door.

I broke down in confused tears when I landed on my bed. What had I done? My brother had kissed me. I had kissed him back in a way that no sister should. And worst of all I liked it. Understatement. I loved it. It was more than anything I had ever dreamed of. I still felt his lips molded onto my own. I craved to feel it again. That only made me cry harder. What was I doing? I wanted my brother... I loved him.

I heard him slam the door to his room shut across the hall from me. Part of me wanted to keep myself locked away indefinitely but the other part wanted desperately to go to him.

After battling with myself, my softer half won over and I quietly knocked on his door "What?" he asked.

"It's me," I said, trying, to no avail, to keep my voice from cracking.

"Go away," he moaned quietly.

I didn't push. I didn't even know what I would have said anyway. All I knew for sure was that I had been pushed into the forbidden territory of loving my brother, and his cold shoulder hurt more than anything.

I wiped the tears from my face, trying to pull myself together. Maybe I had just overacted, misinterpreted the kiss. I shook my head. There was no innocent interpretation to be had. I sighed and resigned myself to getting ready for the party that night. There was only one solution that I could think of. Go to the party and make out with someone else. I would prove to myself the feelings I had when John kissed me were just from desperation and the need for affection from anyone.

Nerves filled me as I looked through my closet and found the shortest skirt I owned. It was out of character for me to dress provocatively and strive for attention. But I wanted attention. I wanted to make sure at least one boy at the party wanted to hook up with me that night.

I shimmied into my skirt and put on a floaty little cut off top. Then I brushed out my hair and let my light brown waves fall around my shoulders. Smokey makeup to finish off the look and I was ready to go.

My plan of action with John was simple. Pretend nothing had happened head to the party together. It was easier said than done though. The second I saw John in the hallway a flood of emotions hit me and I struggled to keep a cool demeanor. I wanted that kiss so badly.

"Cyn," he said softly when he saw me. "What are you wearing?"

"I'm ready for a party," I said shortly.

"In that?"

"It's cute."

"It's a little much."

"Sorry, dad," I said, a little more scathingly that I had meant.

He turned away, his jaw set as though determined not to respond. "Let's go then."

The house the party was hosted at was classic SoCal mansion. Three times as big as our house with a pool that looked out on the beach. Lights were strung around the backyard twinkled in the dying light.

"Cyn," one of my girlfriends bubbled when she saw me. "We're all doing shots in the kitchen, come on."