Taking the Risk: Misha's Story Ch. 18byshandal©
For those that wanted to know more about Misha before he met Froo, here is his story and how he came to be in England which is where he met her and fell in love, and his time with Suzanne the woman in his past.
His passion for Suzanne becomes an obsession, as she plunges down into a self destructive whirlpool, so for those that believe that life's many experiences make up a rich and interesting tapestry....here is Misha's story.
To read about Misha and Froo please read the companion story Taking the Risk Chapter's 1-21 under Novels and Novella's.
He knew she was gone the moment he walked into the apartment; he could feel it in his soul. The space echoed around him with emptiness.
Standing there, his bag dropping to the ground at his feet he felt nothing but relief at first. The realisation that all the problems of living with someone who was an unpredictable junkie and alcoholic would no longer rest on his shoulders washed over him. Stepping further into the room he looked around and noticed the note sitting there on the coffee table, and bending over to retrieve it he opened it, noticing his hands were trembling slightly.
The terse words stood out starkly in her shaky scrawled scribble.
'I've gone back to New York. I used your credit card. Don't try and find me.'
Turning the envelope over his card fell out into his palm. He hadn't even noticed that one was missing. How much money had she taken from him? Sinking down onto the couch, he sat there, her final kick in his stomach sinking in. Leaning back he just sat there as the gloom descended into dark, too tired to move, too exhausted to think, too drained to feel.
Misha woke the next morning to the ringing of the phone. Struggling up to sitting from where he had fallen asleep on the couch sometime during the night, he stretched, his body aching, his head pounding, and looked across the room to the ringing instrument. Walking slowly towards it, rolling his shoulder where it hurt, he reached out and picked up the offending handset.
"How'd it go?"
"Hi...just phoning to find out how the job went? Everything go ok....want to meet up tonight to go out and celebrate?"
Misha stood there leaning against the wall rubbing his face with his free hand, the voice of his friend in his right ear bringing him back to reality.
A small silence from the other end of the phone and then John quietly asked, "Suzanne?...."
"Yeah gone....she left whilst I was away filming....back to New York."
"Want to meet up tonight?"
Putting down the phone and walking into his bedroom he stopped at the door, the pain starting in his heart as he saw the open wardrobe, gaps where her clothes used to be. Drawers were open and the top of the dressing table, usually covered in her mess of makeup and bottles of perfume was now empty. The simple proof of his loss started the tears to fall, and he sunk down on the edge of the bed and cried.
Cried for himself, cried for her and for what he wished for and planned for that would never be.
John put down the beer in front of Misha in the bar, the noise swirling around them. "You're better off Misha without her. She's on a downward spiral. One you can't afford to go down with her.....you know that don't you?"
Picking up the glass and taking a long drink of the cold golden liquid he replied, "I failed her John.....I love her and I couldn't help her."
"Misha no one could help her...she didn't want it. She's addicted to the stuff and that is more powerful than anything you can offer her. Stop beating yourself up about it."
"I don't know where the Suzanne I first knew went....the lovely, funny sexy Suzanne....she disappeared to be replaced by this person I hardly recognised. I tried to help her but I couldn't seem to make her see she was worth much more than she thought."
"It was the addiction Misha. The drugs, the drink. Stop blaming yourself."
Shaking his head he looked at his friend sitting opposite him in the noisy bar. "I'll never feel for anyone what I felt for her. She made me feel alive, made me feel as if my body was on a natural high just being with her....the highs were so high, the lows so low....she just had to look at me and I would burn up with need....no woman has ever made me feel like that....and never will."
"Yes they will...you'll meet the right one Misha...and when you do you'll know...the right one will make you want to look after her, make you happy, make you feel complete...Suzanne wasn't the one....she was an addiction for you...just like the drugs and drink was for her....but the relationship was not healthy. When you meet the right one Misha you'll know."
"Will I John? Or will I always be looking for Suzanne in every woman I meet?" Picking up his glass he drained it and stood up, "Want another?" and walking over to the bar his hand dipping into the pocket of his jeans to pull out some cash he ordered two more beers.
Four weeks later he woke up his head pounding with another hangover, and turned over in the strange bed to find some woman next to him. One he couldn't remember picking up. Again.
Her short blond hair was mussed up around her face, mascara smudged around her closed eyes, her naked body curled up next to him. This was the third time in as many weeks he had woken up next to someone he couldn't remember their name, let alone what they had done.
Staring up at the ceiling he tried to remember.
He remembered leaving the office, going to celebrate the winning of another customer with the guys. He remembered going from one club to another and dancing in a crowd, the music pounding out, the smell of sweat, and the taste of beer on his tongue. There was lots of woman and laughter, the swirl of movement, lots more drinking and then the occasional wisp of a memory of sex.
Of breasts, of the taste of sex, of losing himself in the tension as it built and the relief as he came. But the woman next to him....he couldn't remember her.
Suddenly he heard the door open and another woman walked into the room, her naked body moving towards the bed, her heavy breasts swaying as she walked towards him.
"You're awake. Good." She told him.
Climbing on top of him, her thighs each side of his hips, her hands stroking his chest. "Let's carry on where we left off last night." She laughed as her mouth bent down biting at one of his nipples, causing him to gasp as her small teeth bit hard at the small tight and hard tip. He glanced sideways towards the person lying beside him on the bed, but the naked woman next to him carried on lying asleep oblivious to the other woman draped over him.
"What about her?" he managed to grate out as she used her nails to scratch his skin stretched over his pectoral muscles, his body jerking with the small pain.
"Forget her. If she wakes up she can join in."
Giving himself up to the erotic feel of her as she bit and licked at his body he closed his eyes and absorbed the feelings as they flooded his mind, the sexual tension tightening in his groin as the stranger on top of him brought him higher towards mindless release.
Robin and John guided the drunken Misha out of his apartment to the car.
"Come on Misha, just a couple more steps, that's my boy, bend down." Pushing him across the back seat of the car, they tucked his legs up and shut the door. "Put the newspaper under his head....I don't want my back seat ruined if he throws up!"
Robin grunted, leaning back from his place in the passenger seat and placed the newspaper under the very drunk Misha's head.
They were headed up to the Lake District, five hours drive away where they had rented a house on Windermere Lake for a week, ostensibly to get their friend sobered up and thinking straight.
For the last month they had watched as he tried to get over Suzanne by partying, drinking and mindless sex with strangers. Taking him up to where there would be no distraction the two friends wanted to help Misha to straighten out and help him to cope with the loss of Suzanne. Today they had arrived at his apartment only to find him already drunk, the place a mess. So unlike his normal self.
Looking back at the tall man laying cramped on the seat behind him Robin asked John, "you think this is going to work?"
"Yeah....he's just mourning the loss of a dream....a week away from it all, talking it through with us, the peace and quiet of walking in the hills and some good food and he'll be back to normal."
Listening to Misha groan as the car sped up around the M25 towards the M1 and the north of England, Robin settled back, "He always was the one of us that felt things too deeply."
"She had him by the balls....but he couldn't see it....this week away we'll give them back to him...."
The two men heard him throw up behind them, "Oh shit...he missed the newspaper....better stop as soon as you can...we need to clean up the mess."
"Fuck....the things we do for friends!"
Misha sat on the rock breathing in deeply as he looked out at the fantastic scenery before him. For miles he could see just pure scenic countryside, with its fields edged with stone walls, streams and lakes, woods and small isolated cottages spread out as far as the eye could see. The air was fresh and clean and his mind was clear. The past week had been difficult as he had come to terms with what he had been doing for the last month, using the alcohol to get over losing Suzanne. Facing up to seeing he was doing just what she had done to cover up her own insecurities and re-setting his own objectives and plans to move forward.
John and Robin were true friends, listening to him pour out his heart, helping him to get his act together and reminiscing over things that he needed to talk about, but never criticising him, never blaming him, just being there for him when he needed them.
He would always hold a place in his heart for Suzanne but she was gone and he knew he had to move on with his life, building his business here in the UK, focusing on enjoying himself, but not being so self destructive as he had been over the past five weeks.
John had told him that out there was the right woman for him. One he would want to be with to build a life together....to love and cherish and that would love and cherish him without all the complications. He just had to be patient and wait.
Standing up from the rock where he sat he started the long walk down the high hill, and back towards the car parked at the bottom, ready to go back to the cottage and then the long drive down south, and the rest of his life.
A life without Suzanne. The last two years a part of him, a part of building his life's memories and experiences, but now free of her and the hurt.
Epilogue -- four years later
Misha stood at Heathrow airport baggage claim watching the bags go by on the carousel. He felt the bang of the metal trolley behind him knock into his legs as the people jostled around him trying to see if their case was coming around on the slow moving baggage runway, and folded his arms over his chest as he waited for his to come out from behind the flaps so that he could get going.
The flight from LA had been a nightmare, with his long legs wedged into the back of the seat in front, unable to get comfortable for much of the delayed flight back to London. His head still pounded from the long week partying with his cousins over the Christmas break, and he now regretted travelling on New Years day back to the UK, especially after the partying he and his cousins had done last night during New Years Eve.
He still had to pick up his car in the long term car park and drive the hours drive around the M25 to his friends Sarah and Pete's house in Purley where he had been invited for supper on his return from LA. Jet lag, a hangover and twelve hours travelling made him want to cancel, but leaning over and grabbing his case as it came around, he decided wearily to maybe just go and eat there and then apologise for leaving early and go home for a well deserved sleep in his own bed.
Walking through customs he turned on his mobile and phoning Sarah explained he was running a little late but would be there as soon as he could.
"No problem Misha, get here when you can....we have some other friends Lorraine and Bryan coming and they're running a little late as well."
Grunting as he put the phone back in his jacket pocket and hefted the case into his right hand, he made his way out to the courtesy bus and the long term car park....not realising that he was about to embark on the beginning of the rest of his life, including the blind date and the meeting of the woman that he would fall in love with............
The woman that was the one for him.
If you want to find out what happens next please read Taking the Risk Chapter 1.