Talking to the Moon

Yeah, I know I'm not a grammar nazi, not even close. I'm a mess, I don't know how to please my readers, but now I've e-mailed an editor. Looking forward to write with a hard-working one ;)

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When the sky turned almost coal and my paws hurt, I stopped for a moment to rest. My camp for tonight was a small mountain called Waire.

Ofcourse, I stared right up at the moon, felt like the bad hunt had been my bad. I hadn't been able to concentrate, the worrying questions kept swirling in my inner mind. Mating for example, I was 29 and still I hadn't mated. What was the damn problem? Find the right girl, yeah. Fuck her thoughtless? Nah. And after something, something, something a strong bond would be created. Bullshit, that thing was supposed to happen years ago!

Back to the moon. Not even the pale glowing could distract my thoughts.

The moon godess created us many thousand years back in time as her friends, to hold her company. How the hell could I be so lonely then?

That damn romantic creature had created me, and even if I loved her terribly much I couldn't help feeling a bit fooled.

There was a mate for everyone.

There was someone to mate with, for everyone except from me.

I, Zeke, would die alone.

I wouldn't be able to have children, or puppies. Or whatever weres gave birth to.

I wouldn't be able to love ever in my life.

That was exactly how I felt, sadness and anger rose in my chest as i howled even louder.

I didn't even care about the "neighbours" who lived in the valley down there, behind the forest.

Whatever I had done in my earlier life, I badly regretted it as I fell asleep on the mountain top.

My god, I was so exhausted after hunting I did barely think about what people would say; seeing a big sand coloured wolf lie in the sunlight next day... Not a sight to forget, and a sleeping wolf was a dead wolf.

Nah. I didn't think. I just fell asleep there.

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It was actually the day after I realized how lucky I had been, but not being killed or hurt at all I just shook of the dust and climbed down onto ground again.

I stretched my long, muscular body before I drank some water from a river some metres away.

Yep, time to get back. Back to the city, and back to the pack.

I was only a beta, but who the hell knew when they needed me? I was supposed to be ready at all times.

But lately I had been distracted by my feelings.

It freaked me out to see the males in our pack, kissing and snuggling with their mates, average girl who just seemed to be perfect in their eyes.

Ofcourse I understood the weakness they must have gone through, but I couldn't wait to be someone's cuddly bear.

I just wanted to be loved for Gods' sake!

I rolled my eyes in disbelief, how could this damn thing pop up in my mind everytime I tried to act smart? Or act in anyway? Damn.

With my head low I trotted against the headquarters.

A new day was to begin, and I could only wish for something else, whatever it could be, to fill my thoughts for some hours.

That would be great.

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When I arrived, the first person I met up with was my Alpha, ofcourse he would be sneeking around as usual, when I tried to get some rest.

Pack life... A network of rubbish gossip and spies. Or if you ask me, a network of mated fools.

Oh, how much I wanted to be one of them, even though I didn't admit it to anyone yet.

I pretended to act bored in those situations, like it was nothing I cared about.

But it was getting harder to ignore, I just didn't want to be alone anymore.

"Hi, Cole." I smiled, pretending that nothing in this world was wrong.

"Zeke. You've been away for two nights now! You sleep with women? You sleep in the forest? You don't sleep at all?" The questions bothered me.

"I sleep, but that's none of your business, buddy." I said after a while, sighing.

The tall man watched me a second, saw the lie I just told him in my eyes, and I looked away, hiding my lagoon blue eyes from him.

My long, sand coloured hair covered my eyes as I stared at my feet, pretending they were the most fascinating thing ever.

Finally he let me go, and that was only because of his mate.

For once, I actually felt grateful to Grace for existing, distracting the Alpha with a kiss.

I took my chance and escaped upstairs and there, in my room, on the king size bed, there was a sleeping teenager.

Her thick blonde hair floated round her full body and I didn't even had time for wondering who the hell she could be. My wolf told me all I need to know: our mate!

Want a chapter two?