- Celebrities & Fan Fiction
- Tara James & Me
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Hi my name is Robert, but my friends call me Bob. I was at Myrtle Beach S.C. last Summer when I saw two familiar looking faces. I realized it was Tara James and Monica Wells. I had visited both their sites to many times to count and spent countless buckets of cum on both of them, but mainly Tara.
I walked up to them and introduced myself. I told them that I recognized them from their sites and was a huge fan of theirs.
They told me that they appreciated my visiting their sites. We made some small talk and just when I was about to leave Tara spoke up and said to Monica, "We can't let one of our biggest fans leave here with nothing now can we?"
Monica gave me the quick look over, eyeballing the bulge quickly forming in my swimming trunks, and said, "yeah I guess he is one of our BIGGEST fans!"
Tara told me to follow them back to their condo for a little fun. I drove behind their car making sure not to lose them. They turned into a group of condos called the Seaside Chalets. As we got out I followed behind them, making sure to get a good look at their asses. Tara by far had the juiciest ass. I wanted to tackle her and ass rape her right there. As we neared the top of the steps we entered room 037. As I entered, Tara grabbed me and began to make out with me with lots of passion. Our tongues wrestled for about 5 minutes.
Monica left the room and said she would be right back. She returned a couple minutes later, naked and with a 12 inch strap on. Tara told her that would have to wait. She said, "we have a guest, and we must take care of our guest before ourselves.
With that Tara dropped to her knees and pulled down my shorts. she quickly had my head in her mouth and began to push my cock further into her mouth until it hit the back of her throat. She pushed even further until she had my entire cock in her mouth to the base. She didn't even have to suck any more her muscles in her throat were doing all of the work. Monica began to make out with my ass and this sent me over the edge. My balls began to churn and I exploded into Tara's throat without warning. String after string hit the back of her throat and oozed down her throat. She had no choice but to swallow because I was in the back of her throat.
As soon as I was finished she pulled me out of her throat. She moved over to Monica as I rested and watched closely from the couch. They began to 69 each other. my cock quickly rose to attention one more. I made my way over to Tara, who had her ass in the air. I lined my dick up with her ass hole and plunged in. as my head entered she let a screech of pain. I then forced my way in. I pulled my cock out an inch or two and slowly pushed back in. Soon I began pumping her quickly picking up a rhythm. Her screams of pain became ones of pleasure. She went back to licking Monica. Monica soon began shaking and squealing as she hit the peak of her orgasm. Tara lapped up all her juices.
Monica got up after a few minutes and put on the strap on. She began to pump Tara in the pussy full force with the 12 inch dildo. Tara was feeling a sensation she had never felt in all her life, the sensation of being double fucked. Tara had a violent, earth shattering orgasm that drenched Monica's crotch. Tara passed out after this. I continued to fuck her ass, but at a faster pace. I erupted into her. I sent cum all into her bowels.
I pulled out when I was through and rolled over on my side. Monica said, "Oh no you aren't getting out of it that easily." She moved over to me and began to go down on me in order to get me hard again. She quickly accomplished this task and then mounted me with her on top. She was riding my like a fucking bronco. She was so tight, but her cunt was so wet that I slipped in with ease. Her body began to shake violently, and she began screaming "fuck me, Cum in me, Cum in my belly." With that I picked up my pace so that we would orgasm together. We both erupted right there and collapsed right on top of Tara. We were all in a pile, soaked with sweat and cum. That was the best damned fucking I've ever experienced.
- COMMENTS
Anonymousabout 19 years agoThis story might have been a great deal better had you taken more time with it. For example, what do Tara and Monica look like? Not every reader will be familiar with their websites, and so some description is in order. What were they wearing when you met them? Did you meet Tara when her hair was long and dark, or did you meet the "new" Tara with short, blonde hair? Given that their pictures are available on the net, you might even paste a couple into the story (I'm not sure about the legality of this, however).
Don't rush the action. The foreplay seems to consist pretty much of "As I entered, Tara grabbed me and began to make out with me with lots of passion. Our tongues wrestled for about 5 minutes."
That's it??? What were the two of you doing with your hands? How did she feel and smell? Did she groan with passion? Talk dirty? Was she any good? What was Monica doing? Did anybody say anything while all this was going on?
"Monica left the room and said she would be right back." Order of action: shouldn't she have said she'd be right back AS she left the room, or said she'd be right back AND THEN left the room?
Use dialogue so the characters seem more real. For example: "She returned a couple minutes later, naked and with a 12 inch strap on. Tara told her that would have to wait."
Taken in isolation, this isn't so bad, but it's typical of much of the story: you are writing a rather dry narrative instead of writing a dialogue, which is more interesting. This is erotica, not a history paper! I would also add that in this particular case, you blew a chance to add an erotic little tid-bit: what are Monica and Tara doing with a 12" strap-on? A little discussion about what they like to do together when there isn't a guy around could be very interesting!
I must say that Tara must either be awfully forgiving or a totally sex-crazed tramp. After all, you came in her mouth without warning and then cobbed her so hard that "she let a screech of pain." Why the hell didn't she slap the teeth out of your mouth?
Try reworking your story a bit. I would suggest reading "Summer of Innocence" or "Double Dipping Ch. 05" by Erlikkhan as examples of good groupsex writing. You might also take advantage of some of the volunteer editors.
Good luck.
