Teacher Holds Tightlybyshybutzesty©
She was so lonely, so very lonely. Her husband passed away just three months ago. The person she would turn to in times of such desperate need was gone. She missed him and needed the safety of his arms. She needed to be sheltered from the pain. She needed to be comforted and told that everything would be all right.
She tried the best she could to clear her head. She had just returned to school this semester. Still shaken by her troubles, she tried to continue a normal life. Calculus was just the class for her. She was forced to focus, but she still felt empty. At least the class filled empty time. Time she would had spent at home, in her empty house or at work.
She had never noticed her teacher before. She had taken his classes, starting from College Algebra. She felt comfortable with this teacher and his style of teaching. Through the years, she had befriended him, well both her husband and she.
Trying not to feel sorry for herself, she refocused on the lesson for the day. The lesson was on some obscure way of doing problems. She knew that the next lesson would cover the shorter way of doing the same task but the homework dealt with today's lesson.
"No problem" she thought, " I have plenty of time before I have to hand this in." She decided to see Mr. Williams after class for further explanation of the lesson.
She waited as the class filtered out and the stragglers had their questions answered. After the other students left, she and Mr. Williams started to chat. Then, without warning, a flood of emotions swept through her body. These changes would swell up, and without much warning, would erupt. These episodes were becoming few and farther apart, but they did still happen. Feeling the change, her eyes darted, looking for a way out of the room. The tears would flow in a matter of seconds. "Mr. Williams, I'll have to continue this later." She tried to bolt past him.
But she was stopped. He had her arm. Her tears were teaming, ready to stream. She couldn't look at him. She was collapsing from the inside and she couldn't stop it. He pulled her into his chest and into his arms. She erupted with sobs.
Everyone avoided her. It was as if they could catch death from her. No one would look her in her eyes. She knew they were trying to stay clear until she was able to engage in everyday life, but she didn't know if she could ever handle it again. No one looked at her. She needed to be seen, by anyone, just someone. Someone had to tell her that she's still here. Mr. Williams was the one to do it.
Then, out of the blue, it happened. She nuzzled his neck. She suddenly realized that she hadn't been this close to a different man in over ten years. Her first reaction was to pull away. Mr. Williams's comforting arms wouldn't hear of it. Someone was seeing her, engaging her and she felt pure rejoice. Her tenseness loosened as she gave up control to Mr. Williams. She started to notice him now too. She felt his warmth. She could feel his warm breath moving the hair on top of her head. His arms felt like warm bed sheets, early in the morning. She was flooded with all kinds of emotions. She knew that eventually she would be in the arms of another man. She would worry about how she would feel and how she would react. Oddly enough, none of that worry or guilt was there.
Then she erupted. Pain flowed out of her body. All the confusion and anger she felt raced through her. She felt heat sweep over her body. Her head was heavy with sweat. She mourned. She attempted to come to grips with the loss of her husband. She emptied her soul and was drained.
She nuzzled him again. This time, Mr. Williams reacted. He moved one hand from gripping her back and gently lifted her chin. She was surprised that she wasn't concerned about the way she looked at that moment. He protected her from all those negative thoughts.
She found the courage to open her eyes. Her eyes met his gaze. "You're beautiful," he said. With that, he returned his arm to his embrace and she rested her head back on his chest.
She was able to unfold her arms from between them and now return his hug. She stayed in his arms until she felt herself regain composure. She pulled away and this time he allowed her. His shirt was drench with her tears. She turned and pulled a tissue from her pocket and wiped the drama from her face. Still not facing him, she apologized for episode. From a distance, he said, "That's ok." She regrouped and turned back around. He was gone.
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