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This writing surface is 5'3" tall.
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AndiAnders
AndiAnders
20 Followers

Template
Andi Anders

[Template for WRITING SURFACE e-mail.
Intended recipients: mathematical/scientific types.
Option possibilities suggested in parentheses.]

I see from your resume that you possess knowledge in the field of _____________ (mathematics, chemistry, engineering, etc.)

That is a subject in which I find an interest also.

I have, of course, completed the basic classes in my youth,
but I would be amenable to furthering my knowledge
in discussion with you on the subject.

Now, I know in this day and age of environmental responsibility,
we all wish to conserve resources.
So I wouldn’t expect for you to expend any of your supply of paper for our discussions.
May I offer an alternative surface upon which to draw your illustrations and calculations?

Here let me prepare the surface area for your inspection.
I’ll uncover it all so you can see what you’ll be dealing with.
Will a total length of 5’3” be sufficient surface area for your purposes, do you think?

You’ll note, here, that there is both a front side and a back side
available for you to write on.

Here, let me show you.
See?
A wide, relatively flat expanse across the top of the back half of this writing surface.
That should be perfect for those examples of long calculations, don’t you think?

Now, as you look further down, I realize the lower half is a bit more curvaceous.
Do you think you could trace out mathematical patterns there anyway??
It does have a smooth texture and a snowy color.
The curvature won’t interrupt things too much?

You’ll have to kneel to reach the lowest portions of this drawing surface.
It comes in two equal halves.
Maybe if you’re demonstrating a comparison, this would be helpful?
Write one set of figures on one half of the surface,
and the comparison set of figures on the other half?
Well, you can choose if that fits your agenda,
when our discussion progresses to that point.

Let me turn so the front side is open to your inspection.

It is all white and clear of other markings.
Available for any motions you wish to make towards it.

I know these large mounds of surface area on the top half
offer some challenge in keeping numbers in their proper columns.
Are you up to that challenge, do you believe??

And can you work around those smaller areas of slight variation in color,
there in the middle of the mounds?
And ignore the raised, pointed tips?
They’re not too big an obstacle to work with, are they??

The surface area, of course, flattens out further down,
there underneath the mounded part.
A nice portion for larger illustrations, when the need arises.
That small indentation in the middle, it could function as a zero or decimal point.

I know, I know - further down, that dark, triangular area -
we’ll just have to incorporate some other use for it than writing.
Its texture simply doesn’t lend itself to lettering.

Of course, you’ve noticed the split into two surfaces just beneath that triangle?
Ahem – you’re still staring at the triangular area.
Look below, here.
Let me finish showing you all your options.

So again, as it was on the back, here on the lowest section of the front
of this writing surface I’m offering for your use,
there are two long lengths of white to write equations upon.
Being cylindrical in form, maybe some of the numerical intricacies
can be started on the front and circle completely around
the back of the creamy surface?

Oh! I almost forgot.
Though differing in background color,
there is an additional surface within the triangular area I pointed out earlier.
Could I have your assistance, please?
Here, just open these side flaps and you’ll see what I mean.

My! Your fingers there seem to make quite an impression on my memory!
I guess this would be a good place to write the more intricate numerical studies.
I know the area is slightly bumpy,
but do you think it will serve for our purposes?

There’s a special storage area here, too, if you look just a bit lower.
A soft, narrow container for certain hardened writing instruments.
Often these writing tools have the characteristics of wood.
Such a wooden instrument can be slid into the container for storage,
or slid back out again for use.
Some people find it handy to store such a long, stiff writing tool
in this container over and over again.
Carefully covering their fine writing utensil
within the velvety pouch after each and every use.
Some others find that multiple insertions and withdrawals are necessary
to ensure that the utensil is surrounded in exactly the desired method.

Now that you’ve studied the writing surface presented,
shall we start a ____________ (mathematical, chemical, engineering, etc.)
topic of discussion??

AndiAnders
AndiAnders
20 Followers
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The author would appreciate your feedback.
  • COMMENTS
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2 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousalmost 17 years ago
Very clever!

Witty, intellectual, sexy, outstanding!

I have just discovered your stories, but am saddened to see none with recent dates. I hope you will grace us with your writing again soon!

AnonymousAnonymousover 19 years ago
Original!

Now this is thinking out of the box! Well written, and quite original, almost ingenious.

- JT

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