The Aftermath

Evan rang the doorbell three times before he heard the shuffle of bedroom slippers on the other side of the door. There was a brief silence during which he knew that she was looking at him through the peephole. Finally came the thunk of the deadbolt lock being drawn back. The door opened a few inches, the door chain still in place.

With emphasis on the word you, the woman asked, "What do you want?"

"A place to spend the night would be good."

The woman unlatched the chain and opened the door part way. "This town has dozens of motels, you know."

"I spend a lot of nights in those, Nikki. I'd just like to stay where someone lives; to hear another person's voice.."

A single lamp covered by a dark burlap shade lighted the room behind the woman. The wallpaper and furnishings were all in tans and dark browns, earth colors. Her russet brunette hair was backlit, creating a faint dark red halo. The only real color came from a deep blue robe that she was wearing. The rest of what Evan saw was like a faded sepia photograph, the colors washed out. Her face was in shadow, but he knew that Nikki's eyes were also blue. Icy blue.

"The company gives me a housing allowance of $80 per night. I can pocket that if you let me stay here. Besides, it's snowing." He gestured with one arm toward the night.

Nikki opened the door and allowed Evan, carrying his suitcase, to enter. "I want half of the $80," she said.

"Are you serious?"

"Why not? I was called a whore because of what we did. Somehow the idea of you giving me money seems right."

With a wry look as he realized that she meant it, Evan took two $20 bills from his wallet and handed them to her. She stuffed them into one pocket of the robe. After a pause, she said, "I usually have a nightcap about now. You want something?"

"Yes, very much."

"There's a bottle of sherry in the right cabinet. Glasses on the left. While you're getting us a drink, I'll get some cover for the sofa."

By the time she returned from the hallway closet, Evan had poured out two glasses of deep amber sherry and had them waiting on the coffee table. Nikki said, "Here's a sheet and blanket that you can use." She laid them down on the floor next to her entertainment hutch, took a glass of sherry, and curled up on the sofa. Evan reclined on the other end. In the dim glow of the lamp, the room seemed filled with shadows.

"Are you paying Jill her alimony?" she asked, taking a sip.

"Don't really have a choice. They automatically deduct it from my paycheck each month."

"That's good to know."

"Do you ever see her?" he asked.

The air in the room grew chilly. In a low voice Nikki said, "Evan, I haven't seen or spoken to Jill since the night it all happened. I doubt if she'll speak to me as long as she lives. She hates me, way more than you. Don't you understand that?"

"No, I guess not."

Nikki sighed deeply, gazing beyond Evan to the snow falling outside. "She won't even be in the same house with me. Last year she told Mom and Dad that she wouldn't come for Thanksgiving if I was there. So they invited me and she stayed away. Then for Christmas it was her turn. My folks said that I wasn't welcome while she was there. For Christmas, can you believe it? The season of joy."

The room was silent. After a while Nikki said, "The saddest part is that when we were growing up, Jill wasn't just my older sister, she was my best friend too. How we loved each other. Shared all our secrets; there was nothing we couldn't talk about. And now look at us. God, I miss her so much."

Again the room was silent. Then Nikki said, "Evan, do you brag to your friends how you screwed two sisters?"

Evan winced, startled by the brutal words. "No, of course not!"

Gazing into the sherry, Nikki said, "Well, you did. You screwed us in so many ways."

A mix of emotions played across the man's face. Dammit, Nikki, he thought, I didn't force you to do what we did. You were plenty eager most of the time. You were the one who found that secret place in the park where we enjoyed lunchtime picnics and usually a lot more.

But he said nothing, thinking, I'm the guest here. I'm the one who rang her doorbell. But why does she have to reopen these wounds? He stood up and walked to the window, watching the snow swirl down around the pale yellow streetlight. "Nikki, I've told you, and I've told Jill a thousand times that I was sorry. If I say it once again will it help?"

"You know the answer to that."

Evan shook his head slowly. "I'd give ten years of my life if I could make it the way it used to be. Before that night it all started, you remember, when you and I were slow-dancing? Jill and I were so happy those first three years we were married. I'll never understand why that wasn't enough."

Her blue eyes glowing preternaturally, Nikki said, "Tell me, Evan, was there ever a time, even a single hour in a single day, when you really cared for me? When you might even have felt love for me?"

"Yes, of course. Like that summer afternoon at the lake house. I thought that you were just..just," but then his voice trailed off. Old habits are hard to break. After a long silence he went on in a low voice, "no, Nikki, there never was a time."

"So what was I, just a treat for your dick?"

Her words were like glass shattering on concrete. Evan whirled and looked at her, then turned back to the window without saying anything.

"Well?"

Another long silence. "I don't know. I suppose," he murmured.

"I want to hear you say it, Evan. I want to hear you tell me that!"

He turned back to look at her. "Nikki.."

"Say it, dammit!"

In a flat voice he said, "You were just a treat for my dick. That's all."

In one smooth catlike motion Nikki rose from the sofa, stepped to Evan, and threw the rest of her sherry in his face. In a trembling voice she said, "Oh God, how I hate you!" Setting the glass onto the coffee table, she turned and hurried to the bedroom, slamming the door behind her and locking it.

Well, it's nice to get a warm welcome back, Evan thought bitterly. He washed his face in the bathroom; then, made up the sofa and removed his shirt and pants. He finally collapsed onto the sheet and pulled the blanket over him. It had been a long tiring day. First the rain and then snow on the interstate, dodging the tractor-trailers. And now this. In a few moments he was asleep.

CHAPTER 2

He slept fitfully, his dreams dark and chaotic. In one dream he could hear Nikki saying, "Evan?" Then he slowly came awake, realizing that Nikki, wearing a white T-shirt that barely covered her hips, was standing over him. "Come with me," she ordered. With that she turned and walked to the bedroom. As she did she pulled the T-shirt over her head and let it drop to the floor.

Still groggy from sleep, Evan removed his own T-shirt and followed her. She was waiting next to the bed, arms folded beneath her full breasts. He eyed her in silence for a moment; then, cautiously embraced her, the warmth of her body against his at once strange yet familiar. He began to kiss her neck, then moved to her cheek, but she turned away.

"Don't bother," she whispered, "lay back on the bed."

Evan did so. Nikki moved between his legs and quickly pulled off his boxer shorts, throwing them aside. Then she knelt and took his cock in her hand and caressed it, finally moving her lips down onto it. He could feel Nikki kissing his cock, now obscured by her head and mane of dark hair. Then came long wet strokes with her tongue; finally she drew him into her mouth.

Evan reclined on his elbows, watching as the woman rhythmically took his cock. Again he was struck by how colorless was the scene. Her dark hair and then her pale wide hips and buttocks, rising like snow-covered mountains beyond a dark forest. Outside he could see more snow falling, so heavily now that the streetlamp was little more than a shadow.

After a few moments Nikki released his cock. He heard her say quietly, "Are you as hard as you can get?"

"Can't you remember?" Evan replied. Suddenly he felt Nikki's teeth on his cock head and braced himself for the pain, even then wondering just how that particular agony would feel. She held him for a few seconds. Then she abruptly rose up and sat astride his torso, pulling the hair back from her face and wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.

"My turn," she whispered. Nikki slid forward until she had straddled his face, cradling his head in her hands. Her clean-shaven labia were almost touching Evan's mouth.

He began to kiss her lips. The juice from her sex, salty and pungent, seeped from the cleavage between them. Evan slid his tongue into her; at once his tongue and lips were inundated with her wetness. Nikki was always this way, he reflected. Kiss her twice and her panties are damp. Two more kisses and she's sopping wet.

He moved his tongue to her already swollen clitoris. With practiced ease he began to lick it, remembering the cold rainy afternoon at Motel 6 when she had taught him just how to pleasure her this way. On that day she had moaned in ecstasy, telling him how wonderful it felt. Tonight the room was dead silent.

Without warning Nikki settled down onto his face, the full weight of her pressing against him. It became a struggle to breathe. Can you suffocate someone this way? he thought. What would the headline read? Woman Faces Charge of Smothering Ex-Lover with Her Genitals. Revenge a Motive in Slaying, Say Police.

Holding his head, Nikki began to rub her dripping wet sex back and forth over his chin and his cheeks. She moved up and glided across his forehead several times, taking her time. Then she slid effortlessly down the cheek and to his mouth again. Now Evan was thoroughly marked by the woman; his whole face glistened with the juices from her sex.

Nikki paused, her nether lips on his mouth for a few seconds, then abruptly rose up and slid down the bed to his waiting cock. In the room's dim light, her body and his cock appeared as two silhouettes, the one now descending to engulf the other. She bent forward, her arms on his shoulder, and began to ride the cock. He raised his hands to caress her pendulous breasts, but she brushed them away.

Evan then pressed his hands into her ripe buttocks as they moved together in perfect rhythm and in perfect silence. Nikki's eyes remained closed. At no time did she look at him or even seem aware that he was attached to the cock.

But after a while she bent forward and held him, rolling them over so that Evan was on top. She placed her heels on the back of his knees in the old familiar way. Once more began the rhythmic motion as he buried his manhood in her, now with ever mounting urgency. Nikki held her face away from him, eyes closed.

Then unexpectedly she seized him and kissed him savagely, thrusting her tongue into him as forcefully as his cock was entering her. Her returned the kiss. At last their bodies were fully joined. Now he experienced the full pleasure of the woman: the taste of her, the feel of her skin, and the scent of Nikki in fierce heat.

Evan adjusted the rhythm to what he knew would please her most, but he could feel his own passion rising relentlessly. Nearly breathless, he said, "I'm coming." Nikki responded with a guttural sound; he realized after a few seconds that she had said, "Just don't stop!"

Now out of control, Evan grasped her violently as he felt the sweet surge of electricity through him, the semen gushing out of him like a flood. She responded in kind, writhing beneath him, the heat coming off her in waves.

Just as Evan was at last winding down he realized that Nikki had dug her nails deep into his back. A year ago he would have said Easy babe, don't leave any telltale signs. But now, what did it matter?

Out of perversity he slowed his rhythm, almost stopping. She pushed him up so that he saw her blue eyes, now dark and angry. In a voice as much animal as human she said, "Don't you dare slow down! Don't you dare!" They had played this little game so many times before.

Evan began to thrust savagely then, bringing her to a climax that seemed endless. At long last she gave voice to her fervor, uttering oh yes, oh yeesss, in the throaty tone that he always heard when Nikki reached the height of passion.

The man and woman afterwards lay for long moments, panting heavily. The air was redolent with the tangy scent of human sweat, of semen, of a woman's musky sex. Evan tried to kiss her, a gentle thank you kiss, but she turned away.

He knew from experience that they were not finished. Aware of how exquisitely sensitive was her sex at this moment, he ever so slowly thrust his manhood into her, sinking it to the hilt. After a few seconds he gradually withdrew, inch by inch until his cock head reached her labia, then repeated the motion.

In a few moments Nikki's breathing came faster; she held him more ardently. This is exactly what we were doing, Evan recalled, that fateful night when we heard Jill's footsteps in the hall.

He rode up on her slightly to increase the friction on her clitoris, which elicited another throaty yesss. Evan's thrusts became more forceful, in precise step with Nikki's increasing passion. He braced himself for her climax, one that experience had taught him would be long and intense, a perfect storm of carnal and emotional release.

The woman did not disappoint. When her second climax came she was more animal than ever, digging into his back more deeply, even biting him on the shoulder for good measure. So amazed was he that she could reach such heights of ecstasy that he scarcely realized that he himself was climaxing again. But his own passion seemed minor to hers, like the heat of a candle compared to a blazing furnace.

Still she burned, whimpering, "more, more!" What is it like where she is? Evan thought. What's it like to feel that intensity? Long minutes went by before her breathing began to slow, before her body began to cool. Evan tried to kiss her; again she turned away. He moved down to kiss her breasts, salty with perspiration, finally suckling her still-taut nipples.

He raised his head and saw that Nikki was staring toward the window. He looked, noticing that the snow had almost stopped, now just a few flakes blowing idly around. Glancing back at her, he thought he saw a tear on her cheek, mixed with her sweat. But in the dim light he could not be sure.

In a dull voice Nikki said, "I need to wash off." Evan finally withdrew his cock, and she adroitly rose from the bed, leaving nothing to stain it. She quickly went to the bathroom.

He lay on the bed, listening to the water from the sink, finally the commode flushing. She emerged, picked up her T-shirt and put it back on. She then picked up his shorts and tossed them to him.

"Now go away."

Evan rose up from the bed. "Don't I even get ..?"

"No, just go away. And close the door behind you." With that Nikki slid under the bedcovers, lying on her stomach, facing the window. The silence in the room was now palpable and oppressive.

In the bathroom he washed himself off, musing that this was a night of washing off various and unexpected liquids from his face. Once again in his T-shirt and shorts, he returned to the sofa. He was soon asleep, and this time no dreams came.

CHAPTER 3

Evan was awakened by the sound of Nikki in the shower, but as soon as she turned off the water he drifted back to sleep. Then he heard her voice nearby. "Evan?"

He opened his eyes. "Yes?"

"Do you need to take a shower?"

"Yes, I'd like that." He sat up on the edge of the sofa. Nikki was wearing the blue robe again. Her face was shiny, the tips of her hair damp from the shower.

"Then hurry up and do it. I need you to leave when I leave."

"Can't I just lock..?"

"No, I want you out of here. The sooner the better."

Evan rose and looked cautiously at her. She returned his gaze with eyes as blue as a glacier and just as warm. He gathered his toiletries bag and clean clothes and retired to the bathroom. When he emerged twenty minutes later, he was wearing a maroon sweater and dark wool pants, rubbing his hand through his straw-colored hair.

The aroma of coffee filled the apartment. Nikki, dressed for work, sat at the table with a cup in front of her.

"That coffee smells good," he said. "Do I have time for some?"

"No, I ...well, okay, but don't take too long."

Evan poured a cup and sat across the table from Nikki. She was wearing a dark pinstripe pantsuit, beneath which was a cream-colored sweater and silver pendant.

He took a sip of coffee, waiting to open the conversation with an offhand comment about what had happened in her bedroom. Nikki turned and gazed at him again, those cold blue eyes taking him in.

Evan then realized with chilling certainty that to mention the bedroom, or to look at her so as to suggest that he was thinking about what had happened after midnight, would again call down her wrath upon him, worse even than yesterday evening. This time it just might earn him a cup of hot coffee in his face.

Opting for discretion, he glanced out the living room window. "Still snowing, I see."

"Same old Evan," Nikki said dryly. "Nothing escapes your keen eye, does it?"

Evan looked at the woman, searching for a hint in her demeanor that what had happened after midnight still lingered in some way. Is her body language a bit more relaxed this morning? Is she more languid, more at ease in her skin? It seemed to him that she was. But like the teardrop that might have been on her cheek last night, he could not be sure.

What is a woman? he pondered. This morning, Nikki, you're fashionably Ann Taylor, mascara and eyeliner perfect, the right hint of Chanel No. 5. But just beneath all that is a feral animal. I ought to know. So which is the real Nikki? What is a woman?

After a few moments of silence Nikki rose and rinsed her cup at the sink and turned off the coffee maker. "Let's go," she said. By the time Evan zipped his suitcase shut and put on his jacket, she was waiting at the door, now wearing a dark gray topcoat and black wool beret.

They stepped outside, pausing beneath the covering where Nikki's silver Acura was parked.

"Nikki.." he said.

She turned to look at him, austere and achingly beautiful. Once again Evan noted the colorless scene: the gray stone apartment building, the gusting snow, Nikki's dark attire. Amid the monochrome setting her blue eyes and red lips seemed larger-than-life. It all looked disjointed, like something Picasso would create.

"I have to come back here six weeks from now, first week of April."

Her blue eyes flashed. "Don't ring my doorbell," she said evenly. "If you do I won't answer."

"Then.. last night...?"

"No, of course not." Nikki looked away, then back to him. "You really don't understand women, do you?"

"I thought that was self-evident."

"It's a shame, Evan. I hope you do someday." After a pause she said, "Goodbye."

"Goodbye, as in..?'

"As in goodbye, Evan." With that she got into the Acura, started the motor, and backed out into the snowy lane. Without a backward glance she drove toward the apartment complex entrance. The car became a silhouette and soon disappeared into the blowing snow.