tagHumor & SatireThe Almighty Cock Offering

The Almighty Cock Offering

bypeppermintpatty2006©

When a woman is younger, she has to fend men off in droves. Even when men don't take the hint or don't take an emphatic 'NO!' for an answer, he still chases her relentlessly until she succumbs or finally gives in. So, to speak! Possibly, and normally with regret she may eventually even fall in love with a man and get married. The reason is that these men (yes, you plural) are unyielding in the pursuit of this chosen woman.

The Younger Man



How does the younger man choose a woman? In the private conversations in the locker room, what exactly do men look for or discuss amongst each other? Certainly during the younger years, it involves looks, looks and looks, body, body and body, weight, weight and weight, jugs, jugs, and jugs, legs, legs, and legs. A well chosen variety and combination of the aforementioned is vital to the selection process.

Heaven knows, men never discuss feelings or emotions as part of the mix for a mate (or even later in life for that matter). He discusses sex to no end ... but feelings – no, no, and NO!

Are you getting the picture? The man is still King in spite of all his qualities...and/or flaws.

Now a woman does look for a man, too, but differently. Oh, so differently! Speaking as a woman, she usually goes for looks, a suitable height, education, profession and common interests. Feeling and emotions are Oh, SO important and maybe the most intuitive quality she possesses! She chooses her match with candor and intelligence.

Occasionally, the man just sweeps her off her feet without knowing it and then the rules may get thrown out the window (See marriage comment).

As Men Age



Now, the rules do seem to change as a man gets older. A woman has a difficult time realizing this; so listen up all yeah women!

Men, whom in their younger days would chase almost any girl, now get choosy as they get older. This is especially true and began when women have entered the working class. Income is important; sophistication and class; a house; a nice car and still a nice body (with all the other perks).

Later in life, the single or divorced or widowed woman must select among the best of men to find her true mate. Now, life becomes more complicated. Kids, wives, ex-wives, girlfriends, age, income, etc., etc., etc., etc.

Women tend to reach for the same high standards they had as when they were younger. However, rules do change a bit. Virtues and morals start to slack. Looks and hair aren't so important. Pot bellies are fine now.

Are you getting the picture? The man is still King.

Okay, she meets the new and matured Prince Charming. She's smitten, she's in love and she didn't think it was possible.

The matured man is even harder to pin down. Divorces, child support, alimony, other women (plural), choices, etc., etc., etc., etc.

Then, there is the Internet. The world is open and full of eligible women (and men, of course so don't worry). The competition remains fierce for the good ones (of course that includes you guy).

The woman must have all the qualities she had when she was younger, is expected to do all the womanly chores like cooking, cleaning and nurturing in addition to earning an income while still being the Madonna and the ... (you know what I mean)!

Men get fussier and more opinionated so the women's angles that used to work must be modified and revamped. Be ready to be told what to do and have everything blames on you. Man is key so now manipulation is really key.

Men verse Women



A few neurological differences between women and men from Louann Brizendine's "The Female Brain" include:

Thoughts about sex enter women's brains once every couple of days; for men, thoughts about sex occur every minute.

Women use 20,000 words per day; men use 7,000 per day.

Women excel at knowing what people are feeling; men have difficulty spotting an emotion unless someone cries or threatens bodily harm.

Women remember fights that a man insists never happened.

Women over 50 are more likely to initiate divorce.

AH – HA Then!



So men and women are different. Does the male verse female enlightenment and the Dr. Phil movement help the relationships between a man and a woman as they age? No, seems not ... and the game gets tougher.

First of all, there is the almighty cock (yes, we have finally gotten to the subject of this story). The man has been carrying around his little friend all his life. They have been very close. It has pleased many a woman's pussy, produced offspring, stiffens many times a day at will, has sex several times a day and has built the confidence of the man throughout his maturing years.

The mature woman will settle for almost (I say almost) anything now - really huge, large, average, small, tiny or anything in-between! Why? Because now you know how to use it now!

The mature woman appreciates sex, loves it and lives for it ... like the ...younger man. She is also grateful. The erect penis is key (and, a nice dinner, of course) and she is out on the prey.

The Phallus



A phallus is an erect penis or 'cock' as we say on Cliterotica. A phallus is a symbol or metaphor that connects with the male phallus or male power. Thus, the phallus or 'cock' is a symbol of masculinity in our society.

Any object that visually resembles a penis or acts as a symbol for it may also be referred to as a phallus; however, such objects are more correctly referred to as being phallic. Such symbols often represent the fertility and cultural implications that are associated with the male sexual organ.

Let's face it! Men build high-rises, machines and other such symbolic figures based on the phallic shape. Look at the Eiffel Tower, the Washington Monument, a church steeple (no blasphemy intended), an airplane or a gun to name a few objects.

Speaking of the subject of cock worship (discuss among yourselves).

Have you ever traveled to Italy, Greece or Belgium to see the Penis Boy? There are cocks all over in Italy and Greece – in statues, in museums, in art, in calendars, in homes and remarkably everywhere. There are no stigmas attached to the cock being nasty or shameful or embarrassing. Like I said, you can't get away from it (and sure as heck you will bring home some souvenirs to shock your American friends).

That's what makes life so interesting. The penis, in all its degrees of hardness and softness is still desirable.

Men may still wonder what other men have got but women always have and will always admire the sheer masculinity of the penis no matter of it's magnitude (to an extent)!

If you're curious about where you fit on the penis size scale, wonder no more (Read 'Penis Envy, Too!' by the same author).

Since we are talking about the almighty cock, may I review some ...?

Vocabulary of the penis and scrotum (It's a LONG list)



Glans - The glans is clearly visible in illustration (A) as the head of the penis. The glans in uncircumcised men is usually covered by the prepuce. The glans is highly sensitive, as is the corona, the ridge of flesh that connects the glans to the shaft of the penis.

Corona - The 'crown,' a ridge of flesh demarcating where the head of the penis and the shaft join.

Frenulum, frenum - A thin strip of flesh on the underside of the penis that connects the shaft to the head.

Foreskin, prepuce - A roll of skin which covers the head of the penis in uncircumsized men.

Urethra, meatus - The opening at the tip of the penis to allow the passage of both urine and semen.

Smemga - A substance with the texture of cheese secreted by glands on each side of the frenulum in uncircumsized men.

Scrotum - The scrotum is a sac that hangs behind and below the penis, and containts the testes, the male sexual glands. The scrotum's primary function is to maintain the testes at approximately 34 C, the temperature at which the testes most effectively produce sperm.

Nick Names



Penis - pe-nis n., pl. pe-nis-es or pe-nes. Anatomy. -- 1. The male organ of copulation in higher vertebrates, homologous with the clitoris. In mammals, it also serves as the male organ of urinary excretion. 2. Any of various copulatory organs in males of lower animals. Important derivatives are: pencil, penicillium, penis.-- arrow; bamboo; banana; beef; beef stick; big bad John; Big Fatty; big fella; big ten-inch; bird; blue cow; bologna pony; boner (erect); bottom rocker; bozack; brains; Bubba; bull-dog; ca-ca; cannon; cave explorer; chew toy; chub; chubby; cock; corundum column; cucumber; Cyclops; dang; dick; dildo; ding-a-ling; ding-ding; ding-dong; dip-stick; dong; doinker; donger; dork; dude; duke; equipment; Fast Freddie; flag pole; flip-flop; fuck-stick; garden hose; George (almost any proper male name); Gila monster; good old 12 inch long; gum; gun; hammer; Mr. Happy; hard-on (erect); heat seeking moisture missile; helmet; Herman, the one-eyed German; hog; Holmes; honker; hot dog; instrument; jack hammer; Jake; Jimmy; joy stick; Little Johnny; the Johnson; John Thomas; juice-maker; key to heaven; kick-stand; the king; lance; lingam; lipstick; the little guy; little helmet man; little monster; lizard; lollipop; love gun; love handle; love muscle; love probe; love pump; love python; love rod; love stick; magic wand; maleness; the man; manhood; man-tool; meat; member; middle leg; Mr. Happy; Mr. Microphone; heat seeking moisture missile; morning missile; the monster; MX; main muscle; monkey; needle dick; noodle; Oh Henry; one-eyed heated viper; one-eyed Cyclops; one-eyed monster; one-eyed purple warrior of love; one-eyed snake; one-eyed spit monkey; one-eyed tool; one-eyed trouser trout; one-eyed viper; one-eyed wonder worm; organ; package; panhandle (from "A Clockwork Orange"); partner; passion pole; pecker; pee-pee; peenie; peenpeen; peni; Peter pangus; piney; pods; pole; pork sword; Peter; peter; phallus; pickle; pile driver; pink pencil; Pinochio's wooden balls; pleasure pleaser; pistol; pocket pistol; poison dart; pork; power drill; power shooter; pride and joy; privates; prod; prick; pud; purple headed love dart; purple helmet; purple headed soldier or warrior; purple people eater; pussy finger; pussy tamer; putter; python of pleasure; Ralph; red; the red rocket; rigid rocket; rod; romp wrangler; root; rump burger; Russell the love muscle; salami; sausage; schlong; schmuck; schwantz; scrodog; semi-sport; sex pistol; shaft; 6" (six inch); skin flute; snake; schwanson; stick; still; one-eyed trouser monster; stiffy; stump; stump plunger; swanson; hooded sword; tallywacker; teeter; third leg; thing; the big thing or thang; throbbing manhood; tinkle; tinkler; Tony; tool; torpedo; tower of power; tree; tripod; trouser trout; one eyed trouser trout; troublemaker; tower of power; tube steak; tube steak smothered in underwear; turkey neck; unit; main vein; viper; unit; wand; war club; wang; wanger; wanker; warrior of love; wazoo; weapon; weasel; wee-wee; weiner; wiennie;; Mr. Wiggly; whanger; white/black root; white porpoise of love; wick wacker; Wilbur; woman's home companion; wong; wing-wong; wonder wand; Willie the wonder worm; Willy; one-eyed wonder worm; worm; wooter (http://www.sexuality.org/l/sex/slang.html).

The Mature Woman (... it's only fair)



In turn, the mature woman becomes confident, wise and rich (if she played the divorces right). She enjoys being pampered, going to the local spa for the $100 massage, the facial, the manicure and the pedicure.

Well, this is her right isn't it? And men, you want her to be happy and feel sexy right?

As the woman approaches her prime of life, now she is ready and willing for sex 24/7.

So, men line up!

But the rules have changed. Now she is almost like a cat in heat and has to beg for it like a panting tigress. The woman has finally figured out what great sex is all about and now the man offers it sparingly, 'maybe', 'possibly' while saying "We'll see later."

Life just isn't fair, now is it women?

Here comes the vibrator guy. The new mature woman can take care of herself, does take care of herself and will continue to take care of herself.

Women – take up porn ... the men are on it every night with their computers. You may have some fun and if that's not your style, take up erotic writing...its fun.

The Aging Man



The typical story is of a middle age man is one who progressively loses his drive, potency, vigor, eagerness for life and love.

Mr. Action figure has become Mr. Inaction with an all-consuming mental and physical tiredness going downhill. He changes from being a positive, enthusiastic person who is good to be around to a negative, pessimistic and disheartened breed.

It is increasingly difficult to live or work with him. This is usually the point that the 'woman doesn't like sex' or 'she isn't affectionate.'

At work, he is seen with no amount of encouragement or urging to improve his performance.

At home, family relations tend to strain and his social life and activities diminish and wither.

His sexual drive reaches a loss of libido and infrequency.

Warning



BUT, hold on guys, you're not 80 years old yet. We're still talking about you ... in circulation, so to speak.

Women Looking for the Younger Man



But, Women, he'll be out there soon so start looking for that younger guy.

The Mature Man



The nice thing about the older and mature man is that he talks during sex. Especially on the Internet he will seduce a woman relentlessly once again as in his younger days. He is looking for some of the same things now that the mature woman is looking for. REJOICE! He doesn't fall asleep right away or is drunk like he was in college.

The mature man takes his time and is not uncontrollably excitable. He's interesting, compassionate, caring, reserved, financially independent (we hope), handsome, worldly and so much more.

BUT, he knows it, too. So, back to the 'Almighty Cock Offering' - treasure it if you have it ... tonight. Because it may be gone to some other enchanting woman in lust tomorrow.

Face it Men. Now You are Just Sex Symbols to us Women!



Men – you build high-rises, procreate life, and run the world and the universe. You Rock! Plus, you lift heavy objects and carry them around with you all day (see prior reference).

From a woman's standpoint, MEN, we especially love yah as you mature in life! You keep us happy ... especially with your cocks. You have all it takes to make a woman whole.

AND, if you believe all of that, I have a ship to sell you overseas...Just kidding.

Next chapter maybe...'The Almighty Princess Pussy Prey.'

Report Story

bypeppermintpatty2006© 3 comments/ 24103 views/ 0 favorites

Share the love

Tags For This Story

Report a Bug

1 Pages:1

Please Rate This Submission:

Please Rate This Submission:

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Please wait
Recent
Comments
by Anonymous

If the above comment contains any ads, links, or breaks Literotica rules, please report it.

There are no recent comments (3 older comments) - Click here to add a comment to this story or Show more comments or Read All User Comments (3)

Add a
Comment

Post a public comment on this submission (click here to send private anonymous feedback to the author instead).

Post comment as (click to select):

You may also listen to a recording of the characters.

Preview comment

Forgot your password?

Please wait

Change picture

Your current user avatar, all sizes:

Default size User Picture  Medium size User Picture  Small size User Picture  Tiny size User Picture

You have a new user avatar waiting for moderation.

Select new user avatar:

   Cancel