- Gay Male
- The Amnesiac
- Page 2
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"Enough, enough," Patrick gasped. "Please, enough."
Devin licked the last drop of cum from the tip, then slowly moved back up the bed. He kissed Patrick slowly, and Patrick opened for him. He closed his eyes and melted into the kiss. "Feel what you did to me," Devin murmured against Patrick's lips as his hand closed on his wrist. He gently tugged Patrick's hand, placing it on the bulge in his scrubs. At first, Patrick was fine, if a little hesitant. He explored the bulge, rubbing it lightly. Devin closed his eyes, letting Patrick take the lead now. God, it felt incredible being touched by another man again. His breath hitched when Patrick's hand found the tip of his cock and rubbed over it. Damn, maybe he shouldn't have stayed celibate the past five years. Patrick abruptly yanked his hand away, his pale gray eyes wide with fear.
"Patrick? What's wrong?"
Patrick shook his head and he started trembling.
"Patrick, tell me what's wrong."
In a quiet voice, he said, "He raped me."
- COMMENTS
nomoretears00about 13 years agoOverall I liked the idea behind this. A few problem spot, but you already know those. I do think that you have talent, and it's growing as you write more and more. I did like this chapter and going on to ch2 now!
Anonymousabout 13 years agothe nonsense in this story is really distracting even for a fantasy.
Unless they have only been out of it for a couple of days and it is all a giant con. your other story was very promising but if you plan to stick with the coma for 5 years line maybe you could do some research and repost or get someone who can be honest with you to read before you post.
SoullessCynnerabout 13 years agoAuthorThanks guys! I think your comments on this being so rushed has finally cured my writer's block. See, I'm working on another story, but I got stuck. And now that I have read your comments, I sat back and reread what I have so far, and I can finally see kinda where I want it to go.
Uh... I supposed that's not exactly what I'm supposed to say on here, but it's the truth, and I like being truthful. But I seriously am grateful about any and all constructive criticism.
--Soulless
seeker71about 13 years agoI was elated to see your new story up. I enjoyed this first chapter and really look forward to more. Peace and joy.
Shell
