The Brothel Ch. 08

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Forgiveness.
5.2k words
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Part 8 of the 14 part series

Updated 10/14/2022
Created 09/15/2007
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***This work is my own and may not be republished without permission.

*

SOLITARY

She used the time to write everything down. At the front of the book she started a journal. At the back she wrote what she could remember of the people she was coming to know. John's real name was Keith.

After the episode with Stacy and Jill, Jacob had cancelled her afternoon session with Dinah and taken her to the infirmary.

"Your Hickey Mouse turned out perfect." Gwen smiled weakly and nodded as John came to sit in front of her smiling.

"That's what Joseph said. Maybe it'll start a new fad. So you've been elected to baby sit." She was on her side with an ice pack between her legs. John nodded.

"Yep."

"Tell me stories then."

"Stories?"

"I want to hear about Carrie."

She looked at him in the silence that followed. "That is a story Joseph will have to tell in his own way. He already fussed at me for my comment to Rachel."

"Did he tell you he was in love with me?"

"No." Gwen waited for him to continue, but when he didn't, she changed course.

"Then tell me about you."

"That's a safer subject, but about as boring as watching grass grow."

"I would love to be able to watch grass grow." John stared at her and then looked away. "Please, John. I'm sorry."

He nodded and then looked at her. "Okay, then. I was twenty-seven when I came here. I've been here twelve years. I am married and have a little girl. She is fifteen now. Emma. My wife is Lisa. She is beautiful. I have no idea why she chose me, but she did. I had finished my Bachelors degree in secondary education, but I wanted my masters. I taught during the day and took night classes. I got mugged on the way home from studying at the library late one night. I was beaten and knocked unconscious and woke up here."

"What have you learned here?"

John smiled. "Lot's of things. I read books and study them. I was the one who started the library."

"A regular Ben Franklin."

"I learned that you can make any place better. I learned that I can love anyone. I learned that I can choose to be happy."

"Flowers among the stones."

"Have you found any flowers today?"

"Trey and his art. His love for Rachel. Hers for him. Lots of new friends. Laughter."

"Joseph said you weren't very close to your family." Gwen shook her head. "They will start looking a little better the longer you are here."

"How do you bear that?"

"Missing my family?" Gwen nodded. "It's hard. Joseph needing me helped at the beginning. His responding to me and coming out of his shell. Service to others. I am deeply religious in my own way. I believe in Christ. He understands what I am going through. I pray all the time. I reaffirm my love for Lisa and Emma all the time. I feel a connection to them even though I can't be with them. I like to believe they think I am still alive."

*********

Gwen outlined several chapters and then turned back to the journal and began writing. 'John brought me to the back room in the library. Christopher and the male he is training were there waiting. He said his name was Damon. He looked a little down, but he was staring at me. I felt dirty. I had my ice pack and sat down gingerly. Christopher asked me to show him what Stacy had done. I showed him and he told me I could lie down on the couch while they sat on the floor. I started talking to Damon, trying to draw him out, when Christopher put a DVD in and turned it on. He shut the lights off. It was porn.

He started at my knees giving me hickeys and worked his way up. I was turned on by the movie and becoming aroused. He ordered Damon to join him and he did, but then he pushed him away as he crawled on top of me. I told him I didn't want sex. I reminded him about the rules. I told him I had the right to refuse extra-curricular sex. He backed off and we watched the rest of the movie. He dropped me off at my room.

'Later in line for dinner with Joseph, Robby came and told Joseph that Julia wanted to see us both. Christopher was in the office when we arrived. He was smiling like the cat that caught the canary. Julia told me that when I was with Joseph, he was my evaluator. When he handed me over to Christopher, he became my evaluator and I had to be obedient to him. She said, "Christopher, do with her as you will as long as you don't leave any permanent marks or scars." Then she told me I was to be locked in my cell for forty-eight hours with no food or contact after he was done.

'He almost crushed my wrist as he pulled me out of the room. I tried to fight, but he backhanded me across the jaw and punched me in the eye. My neck is so sore. He punched me over and over in the stomach and in the ribs. Joseph and Julia came back in when he was done. Joseph knelt at my side checking to make sure I was okay. Julia just looked at my eye and left. I hate him. There might not be scars on the outside, but there are on the inside.'

***********

She dedicated a fourth portion of the book to flowers among the stones and began to list them. She finished 'Man's Search for Meaning' a second time taking notes.

She slept in fits and starts. Her stomach was rumbling and her injuries were nagging. She was having nightmares. She would sleep and then read and study, then sleep a little more. She had no way of knowing how much time passed.

She was asleep when she heard the door open and close. She played possum as he lifted the covers and began to rub her back and then leaned over her and kissed her hair. He knew she was awake.

"Are you hungry?"

"Starved!"

"Good, 'cause Hickey Mouse is dying to be shown off!"

Gwen rolled over and sat up. Joseph touched her black eye. She looked him in the eye and he smiled in relief knowing that she was okay.

"How about you, Joseph. Are you okay?"

"Missing you. Worried. Rachel decked Stacy."

"Not for me?"

"For you, but she said it was for something Stacy had done to her."

"Julia didn't punish her did she?"

"How could she? It's what Rachel lives for." He leaned his forehead against hers. "Are you really okay?" Gwen nodded.

"The pain is better. My bottom doesn't hurt much at all now."

"It looks like a flower. The kind a child would draw."

"What did you do, spend the whole time watching me on the camera?"

Joseph shrugged and smiled.

"I wish I would have known. I would have shown off for you." Joseph smiled again and she punched him. "Feed me!" He jumped up and offered her his hand.

"It's sheet day. You strip and I'll get you another set. There's an extra hamper in the bathroom for the old ones.

"You're telling me to strip? That's pretty funny."

"Hah."

Gwen wrapped the sheets around herself and then giggled as she stripped for him. She was just so happy to see him again and she could see his joy too. He took her in his arms and kissed her on the lips. She backed off, looking at him and then relaxed in his arms and kissed him with her mouth open. There was a flicker of doubt along with the flood of passion. She pulled away again to look at him and he pulled her close initiating the contact again dispelling her fears. He pulled away again and she was amused by his dazed expression. "Food for you first and I want to talk to you."

"You get me all riled up and then you want to talk."

He grinned and nodded. "Are you going to be able to listen?"

"I'll try. Let's go then." She stood at the door waiting for him to unlock it. "What time is it anyway?"

"Dinner time."

"Does anyone know about the rape?"

"Everyone knows everything here. They all know about Stacy and Jill pinning you down in the hall and Rachel hitting them. They know that you came out of the room and went to the table smiling. Robbie must have told someone about what happened with Christopher. He's been taking quite a bit of flack too. It'll get worse when they see your bruises."

"You haven't said anything to him have you?"

"I wanted to. Julia told me if I did she would trade one of his girls and give you to him to train."

Gwen nodded. "I'm glad you didn't."

"I have been nothing but polite."

"So what have you been doing other than watching me on the camera?"

"Working with Katy. I finally got her out of the room. All she does is cry."

"Can I meet her?"

"When your bruises fade a little I would like you to. She's young. She's frightened. What sex she's had has been demeaning. She doesn't know that she can enjoy it. She's going to take a while. I don't want her to end up on the violent track."

"I want to talk to Julia."

"I'm not sure that's a good idea."

"I want to talk to her without you there. I have a favor to ask."

"The night you got in trouble with her she was going to ask you to do a trick. She said they are already clamoring for you, but a man named Tobias who is an underboss has requested you. She won't show you to any clients with the bruising though. She will want you to look perfect your first time. She was angry when she saw how deep the bruising was around your eye. You have about a three-week reprieve I'd say."

"Good then."

"The skulls gave you a nickname and it's picked up pretty quickly."

"What's that?"

"Diamond Di."

"Diamond Di? I like it."

"Julia likes it too. She already put it on the web site. Adam was here. He asked about you. He reminded me that you haven't answered his email yet." Gwen held her hands up in a smart aleck gesture. Joseph laughed. "I told him you hadn't had much time on the computer. He said to tell you he's waiting."

"I don't know how to talk dirty."

"You'll learn. That's one of the books you have to read."

"I should have known."

Gwen turned as a tall white male with breasts and makeup came running toward her. She remembered his name. She smiled. "Belle, how are you?"

He hugged her gushing words, "Honey I'm so glad to see you. We were all so worried about you. Everyone is waiting inside. Joseph told Rachel when you would be coming." He backed away and took her by the arms and looked at her. "You are okay, aren't you? We gave Christopher what for! All of us." She managed to nod as he turned her around. "Let me see Hickey now. Mmm hmm. He's looking good! You are so funny." He turned her back around. "You need anything, honey, anything at all you can ask any one of us. Come on! They'll be so glad to see you!" She looked over her shoulder and saw Joseph shrug with an amused smile as Belle led her away.

The hugs in the cafeteria did almost as much to lift her spirits as seeing Jacob again. She had to show off Hickey and her flower and managed to do it with humor. Someone produced a felt pen and she let them add a stem and leaves to her flower. Christopher was there with Sandra and received more than one glare. She kept telling everyone she was all right. She whispered to Rachel about a favor she wanted to ask Trey. She thanked her for decking Stacy.

"She deserved it. We all have your back."

Gwen finally broke away from the group to stand in line. Christopher was clearing his tray and avoided looking at her. Gwen started to approach him, but Joseph held her back. She turned to look at him. "It's okay. Please let me talk to him alone." Finally he nodded and looked at Christopher as Gwen approached. Christopher couldn't miss the animosity in his eyes. He looked back at Gwen.

"Can we talk in a corner?" He nodded in confusion and motioned Sandra toward Joseph as Gwen led him to the corner. He stood like a chastised schoolboy with his head hanging. She let him have his back to the room. She knew all the attention was on them. "I wanted to apologize." His brow furrowed in confusion. She shrugged, "I should have considered you my evaluator at that point. Julia was right." He sighed and finally looked at her, wincing at her bruises. "Joseph said Julia was angry, but he said the bruising gave me a reprieve." She leaned toward him smiling secretively. "I want to thank you for that!" Slowly, a smile spread across his face and he shook his head in disbelief before he saddened again.

"Does it hurt too badly?"

Gwen shook her head. "My jaw and my ribs still. Joseph says you are catching it from people in the halls." He nodded. "I can fix that." He looked at her. "I would rather have you as a friend." He snorted in surprise. "I don't think that I have to worry about it happening again." He shook his head and looked at her.

"He could leave you with me again. It wouldn't happen."

"I'm glad to hear it.

"I was angry. I didn't expect to be rejected. Damon was there."

"Okay." Gwen brought her hand forward and he took it desperately. "You ready to fix it then?" He nodded. She smiled encouragement and put her arms around his neck. It hurt her ribs when he picked her up, but she didn't care. He buried his face in her neck, but everyone in the room saw his face as he turned and put her down. She took his hand and turned to the room. It had gone deathly still from the time they had gone to the corner.

"Christopher was functioning as my evaluator and I disobeyed him. Julia ordered him to do what he did as punishment." She looked back at Christopher and smiled encouragement as she led him back to Joseph.

The look on Christopher's face was enough for Joseph. He gathered Gwen in the crook of his left arm as he shook Christopher's hand with his right. She knew he could feel her trembling.

It was quiet as Gwen set her tray down at Rachel's table. John had joined them.

"Why in the world did you do that?"

John piped up. "The best way to conquer an enemy..."

"Is to make them your friend." Gwen met the eyes of the others at the table. "If I don't have a problem with him anymore then you shouldn't have a problem with him anymore." Rachel shrugged and the others assented through body language. "Now Stacy and Jill, on the other hand, I might need some help with. But just to keep them away from me."

Belle piped up as he flopped his hand, "Oh we can help with that honey, sure enough." Gwen smiled at the mirth in John's expression.

"And you, oh sage, I have a favor to ask in private." John looked at Joseph who rolled his eyes and shrugged helplessly.

"Will you eat first at least?"

Gwen looked at Joseph, "Okay, fine!"

"Well, you haven't eaten in two days!"

Gwen grinned as she was chewing and Belle piped up, "You just say the word, honey and Joseph is toast!"

She smiled and squeezed Jacob's hand.

*********

"Did John agree to your request?"

"Of course! Why would you think he wouldn't?"

Jacob smiled. "I can't think of one good reason." He slipped his arm around her, "Facing up to Christopher took courage."

"He was more nervous than me. I think he feels better now."

"I like that about you."

"What?"

"That you were concerned about helping him. That you were willing to take the first step."

"He said it wouldn't happen again even if you left me alone with him again."

"I won't leave you alone with him."

Gwen sighed in relief and hugged him as they walked down the hall.

Jacob stopped and pecked on Julia's door. There was a camera and an intercom.

"Enter Joseph."

The door clicked and Joseph ushered Gwen inside. This was a different office than the first one. It was carpeted and plush. There was a triptych showing a panorama of the city at night. Joseph handed Gwen a washcloth from a stack on a credenza. The couches were leather.

Gwen and Julia exchanged smiles. Gwen thought to herself that Julia was the ultimate politician. Nothing would crack her demeanor. Gwen stood as Julia approached her and took her chin in her hand studying her eye. "You've been locked away for two days and you still manage to create a stir. Christopher tells me that he has been accosted in the halls."

"I think we took care of that. I spoke to him in the cafeteria. We're good now."

"Good now?" She looked at Joseph and he shrugged.

"I apologized to him. You were right. I think in here your punishment was right. He can't have his charges refusing to obey him."

Julia removed her hand from Gwen's chin and studied her with renewed interest before taking her forearm and turning her around. "And this has created another stir."

"Do you like it?"

"It's amusing. Joseph told me what you call it."

"I didn't even get to see it until just after dinner. I like it."

"And you've added a stem I see."

"I figured I might as well."

"So you recovered from the rape? How are you emotionally?"

"I'm sure it won't be the last time." She looked at Julia. She thought better of a lot of the responses she considered. "I was pretty rough right after. I appreciate you letting Joseph come then. I might not have done as well otherwise."

Julia gestured to the couch and sat at her desk. "I monitored your room from time to time. Are you ready to take some tests?"

Gwen and Joseph sat, "I am. Joseph said we could get on the computer and I could take a few tonight after we are done here."

"Your inbox is flooded and I received an email from Adam wanting to know why you haven't responded to him."

"I'll do that first thing."

"Your period?"

"This is the third day of six."

"I don't want you in the pool."

"I'll jog then."

"How is Trey?"

"He's fine."

"He seems to be more tired lately."

"I don't know. I didn't know him before. I did want to ask you about him. Have you seen his work?"

"Work?"

"He's an artist."

"I guess he would be, wouldn't he."

"I was wondering if you could ask him to do a landscape mural. In a common area? Something to bring the outdoors in."

"I'll consider it."

"I appreciate that. I have something else I would like for you to consider."

"What is that?"

"Therapy groups. Somewhere people could meet to talk through their problems and learn positive ways to deal with them."

"John."

"I love John."

"I'll think about it."

"He might be able to knock out a rough draft of concepts and coping skills."

Julia nodded.

"I have another favor to ask you if I could speak with you in private."

"You can say anything in front of Joseph."

Gwen said nothing. After a few moments Julia nodded and Joseph left them.

"What is it that you can't ask me in front of Joseph."

"He's talked to me about Carrie." Julia waited, but Gwen noted the momentary spark of surprise in her eyes. "I asked John to collect good memories of her from other people she touched. I want Trey to do a portrait, but he doesn't know what she looks like. I thought you might be able to find one that Joseph particularly liked."

Julia nodded. "I know just the one."

Gwen smiled, "I told Rachel to ask Trey for me. If you could email it to him I would appreciate it."

"I'll do that." Julia studied her. "Thank you for coming to speak with me."

Julia's body language was subtle but impossible to misunderstand. Gwen admired that. The meeting was over. She was being dismissed, but ever so politely. Gwen stood and smiled as she bowed her head politely and let herself out.

**************

"We have to talk."

"You keep saying that." They were sitting on her bed and they had been kissing, but Jacob had taken her forearms and moved her away gently. He leaned back against the wall and cradled her.

"I want you to tell me about the rape."

She looked at him uneasily. "I don't want to talk about that."

"You can't just pretend it didn't happen. You have to face it. You have to tell me so that we can establish a pattern of being there for each other through everything."

Gwen put her fingers to his face, "I did just what you said. I gave you my heart. I was so glad you had come."

Jacob kissed her on the forehead, "Talk it through. Let all the emotion go if you can and talk it through."

Gwen nodded, "He pulled me into the other room just down from her office. He slammed me back against the wall and then backed off while he undressed. He was smiling because he was angry at being turned down by me, but now he could take it anyway. I tried to get out the door, but it was locked. He started to come at me and I tried to fight, but he hit me on the jaw and I spun around and hit the wall. He punched me in the back in the ribs and I couldn't breathe.

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