The Condom TesterbyTattletale©
I worked many different jobs to pay my way through college. Among other things, I waited tables, pumped gas and delivered pizza. You could say that I had a very well-rounded education. In addition to my scholarly education, I learned a dozen different trades. I feel a little sorry for those who had their college education paid for by their daddies. They don't know what they missed.
I took whatever part-time jobs I could fit into my class schedule. My life wasn't all work and no play. The drudgery and boredom were frequently relieved by erotic adventures, like the time I got laid when I delivered pizza to a swinger party. While working the late-night shift at a gas station, a man walked in and invited me to screw his beautiful wife right in front of him. She was an excellent piece of ass. When I was waiting tables, I nailed a waitress while we were on our break. I even played in a rock band at a swinger club and was treated to weekly blow jobs from the wives. But my job as a condom tester was the best of all.
This ad caught my eye as I browsed the bulletin board outside the cafeteria:
"Male and female students wanted to test condoms for a major manufacturer. Only broad-minded need apply."
The terse message was followed by a telephone number. I immediately called and made an appointment. The following day I drove across town for my job interview. I expected to find a factory, so I was a little surprised when it turned out to be a laboratory in a health-care district.
Doctor Katie Kelly looked hot in her white smock. The top two buttons were opened to reveal just a hint of a frilly black bra and more than a hint of cleavage.
"We have a number of different condoms in our product line," my saucy interviewer began. "Your job is very simple. You will put on a condom and copulate with a female that we provide. After you ejaculate, I will examine the condom for damage."
"You mean you will pay me to fuck..er..I mean, have sex."
"Yes, and you can call it fucking. That's usually what I call it. I'm surprised that we have so much trouble finding student volunteers. I suppose they think it's too good to be true."
"Well, I did at first, but I'm sure glad I came. I always thought these things were tested with machines and compressors."
"Well, they do undergo many different tests, but it wouldn't make sense not to test them under actual conditions. If you stop to think about it, everything else is tested that way. You test hammers by driving nails, and drills by drilling holes." I couldn't help but notice the analogies and wondered if they were intentional.
"I will have to have a look at your penis," she said.
I lowered my pants to reveal my hard-on. Doctor Kelly laughed when she saw it, and asked, "Was it the cleavage or the perfume?" She put on a pair of latex gloves and took my measurements. My cock lurched upward when she touched it. "Good, you're bigger than average in length and girth. I prefer big men. They put the rubbers to a better test. Now I have to see you ejaculate. I don't hire weak ejaculators."
After spreading a blanket on the floor, she turned on a video camera and picked up a still camera. "Stand at the edge of the blanket and take care of your business," she said. "And try to make it quick. I have another interview in a few minutes." I had always wanted to jack off in front of a beautiful woman, and I was finally getting my chance. I wrapped my hand around my plump cock and began to jack hard and fast. It took less than a minute to unload. My first spurt sailed the full length of the blanket and narrowly missed the carpet. The others splashed down all over the blanket. I silently counted the spurts, "five..six..seven..eight." Doctor Kelly repeatedly clicked the shutter on the camera.
"Well, that was very impressive. You certainly have a healthy prostate. That would have been a good test for any condom. You are hired if you want the job. You will not be on the payroll, instead, you will be paid for each test, and the longer it lasts the more you will earn. We pay two dollars per minute, so if you last thirty minutes you earn sixty dollars. If you go off in less than five minutes, you won't be paid anything, and if it happens more than once, I'll have to let you go. I won't pay for premature ejaculations. These tests are to determine not only how effectively the condom holds the semen, but also how well it stands up over the long haul during both vaginal and anal intercourse. The ejaculation is a condom's biggest enemy, but friction also plays a part. And you don't have to worry if they do break. The girl has to use some alternate form of birth control, pills or a diaphragm. Do you have any questions?"
"Yes, will I always fuck the same woman?"
"No, for two reasons. I always have scheduling problems with students, and bringing the same two together is always difficult. It's easier just to take whoever is available. Also, using different vagina and penis combinations is a better test protocol. One of my testers has fucked more than a hundred girls."
As I left Doctor Kelly's office, a very pretty girl whom I had seen around the campus smiled at me as she went in. I carried out my first test two days later on that same adorable girl. Doctor Kelly led us to a bedroom adjoining her office. "This is Becky," she said. "It's her first time, too. Now get your clothes off and let's get started."
Becky stripped slowly and carefully hung her clothes in the closet. I tossed mine on a chair. I felt rather foolish as I stood there completely naked with my hard cock bobbing in front of me. I silently prayed that I would perform like a man. My greatest fear was that I would ejaculate prematurely. I needn't have worried.
Becky turned to face me. Damn, was she ever hot! Her tits could have been one cup size larger, but they were still very fine specimens. Her body was the same golden brown from head to toe, no doubt thanks to a tanning salon near the campus. A thin strip of hair running up her slit was her only cuntal foliage.
"This is a prototype of an ultra-thin condom that we are trying to perfect," Doctor Kelly said, as she handed me a rolled up condom. "I should probably do this test with experienced testers, but I have a feeling you will do okay. We've had problems with the semen reservoir bursting, but it has been made more pliable to allow it to stretch. Now put it on and let's get down to business."
My hands trembled as I rolled the rubber onto the head and smoothed it down over my cock. "Bend over," Doctor Kelly ordered. She lubricated a small device that resembled a miniature barbell. "This is nothing more than a switch connected to a counter that will count the contractions of your anus while you are ejaculating. That information will help me estimate the strength of your orgasm." I bent forward and she slipped one of the small, greasy balls into my ass. I rather enjoyed the feel of it.
"Becky, get on the bed in the missionary position," Doctor Kelly ordered. The petite girl went to her back on the bed and spread her legs akimbo. "All right, go ahead and fuck her."
I caught a whiff of perfume as I mounted a girl who had not said a single word to me. I was so nervous that I couldn't find her fuck-hole and she finally reached down and tucked me in. She winced as I pushed my cock in a little too hard and fast. Her pussy fit my cock like a warm glove. I sensed that she had no more experience than I had. For the first five minutes, she simply laid there and took it. Then she began to respond. The first sign of her arousal was her fingernails lightly raking my back and ass. Then she began lifting her ass off of the bed and rising to meet my thrusts. She began wheezing as though suffering an asthma attack and her belly began smacking against mine. We were soon fucking like two rutting animals.
"Good, very good," Doctor Kelly said. "Give that rubber a good test."
Becky was whispering all sorts of filthy things in my ear. She seemed to have a special fondness for the word "motherfucker". I put my full weight on her so I could feel her perky tits against my hairy chest. Even though the rubber prevented direct contact with her sex juices, I could tell she was juicing up because my cock was sliding into her as smoothly as a hot knife into butter.
"Oh, yes, that feels so good. Don't you dare stop now, motherfucker. Harder! Faster! HUH..HUH..HUH..HUH..I'M COMING! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
I felt like Casanova as the pretty wench bucked frantically against me. I glanced over at our sponsor and saw a satisfied smile on her beautiful face. Becky and I were subjecting the condom to a grueling test. My thick cock stretched it beyond its limits while her Kegel contractions crushed the thin rubber against my bulging veins. And then I gave it the ultimate test, a powerful ejaculation worthy of Secretariat. The comely stranger and I hit the jackpot together. It was my first simultaneous orgasm and I suspect it was also her first. She was howling like a banshee. She wanted the whole world to know that she was coming.
The two of us finally went limp. Doctor Kelly was all business and brought our brief post-fuck cuddle to a quick end. "All right, let's see it," she demanded. All of our eyes were drawn to my twitching cock as I pulled it free. Doctor Kelly was ecstatic when she saw that the condom had done its job. "Excellent! It held up. Now don't touch it." She produced a magnifying glass and carefully examined the glistening rubber. "Beautiful! You really tested the reservoir. It expanded to hold your load. Tell me, how did it feel?"
"It was incredible," I answered. "I could hardly tell I was wearing a rubber."
After taking several photographs of my throbbing cock, Doctor Kelly carefully removed the condom and weighed it on an electronic scale. "I think you set some sort of record," she said. "You had fifteen anal contractions and your load weighs fourteen grams. That's almost a tablespoonful. I've been in this business for years and this is the biggest load I've ever seen."
As Becky and I dressed, Doctor Kelly made out our checks. I had managed to last an incredible thirty minutes, which translated into sixty badly-needed dollars. When Doctor Kelly handed me the check, I stared at it in disbelief. Until that moment, I didn't really believe that I would get paid for fucking one of the prettiest girls I had ever seen.
Becky accepted my invitation to have a drink. The conversation flowed smoothly between sips of our margaritas. "That was really nice," she said. "I haven't done much fucking and that was the first time I really enjoyed it and had an orgasm. I'm so relieved that I can come when I'm getting fucked. I had more than one, you know. You really know how to use that thing."
"Doctor Kelly watching was a huge turn-on for me," I said. "What about you?"
"Oh, yeah, definitely. She's so hot, don't you think? I would do her myself in a heartbeat."
Becky and I went back to her apartment and fucked again, that time without a rubber. It was even better than the first time. Becky and I became boyfriend and girlfriend then, and I soon moved in with her. We had an unusual sexual relationship. We had sex every day, but I never came with her. I saved that for the condom tests. We both continued to participate in the tests, and always told each other about our experiences.
My second test was with a chubby but pretty girl named Chloe. She was an old hand at condom testing and she didn't bat an eye when Doctor Kelly told her to get on all fours and prepare for an anal test. The doctor handed me one of the ultra-thin prototypes I had tested on Becky. After I rolled it onto my cock, Doctor Kelly handed me a bottle of lotion.
"The lubricants used for anal fucking sometimes degrade the rubber," she explained. "We're always trying to develop rubbers that will not be affected."
Chloe's plump ass jiggled as I crawled onto the bed. I was too embarrassed to tell them that I had never fucked an ass before. Chloe spread her butt-cheeks apart and I took aim on the wrinkled hole. Even though I had no experience at rump-fucking, I knew from my adventures with pornography that the anus must be penetrated slowly and gently. I eased my cock in and just as I got the head in, the slut rammed her ass back against me and took the entire length in one stroke.
Chloe's tight ass gripped my cock like a gloved hand. When I pulled out, the little doughnut of her anus clung to my cock and came out of her body. When I drove forward, it completely disappeared inside of her. Chloe's pretty face was turned to the side on a pillow. I was very pleased to see signs of pleasure on her features. Her eyes were shut and a hint of a smile played on her lips. Tiny dots of sweat popped out on her flushed forehead. She nibbled incessantly on her lower lip. I realized that she was masturbating when I felt her fingertips graze my balls. Chloe came within a couple of minutes. The contractions in the walls of her pussy spilled over into her ass. A few minutes later, I shot my load into her clenching butt. I sensed that something was wrong even before Chloe said, "It broke, Doctor. He's squirting up my ass."
I felt a little sorry for Doctor Kelly as she examined the ruptured condom. "You blew the tip right out of it," she said. Chloe made a dash for the bathroom to release her semen enema. The doctor carefully removed the condom and examined it under a microscope. "We'll have to make the semen reservoir bigger and more elastic," she said.
I had lasted fifteen minutes, not bad considering it was my first anal, and had earned an easy thirty dollars. Doctor Kelly began using me for tests every day. Sometimes they were held during the day and other times in the evening. I felt a great sense of accomplishment when the ultra-thin was perfected. After twenty successful tests, all with different girls, Doctor Kelly declared victory.
We were doing simple quality control tests on one of their most popular condoms when I had a sexual experience that I will remember until my dying day. I had showed up a few minutes early, just as I always did, and was already out of my clothes and wearing the rubber. Doctor Kelly was not a patient woman, and when the new girl I was supposed to fuck was late, she began to fume. Five minutes passed, then ten, then fifteen. The phone rang and I heard her snap, "Oh, very well!"
"She lost her nerve," Doctor Kelly said. "The tests have to be completed. I'll have to take her place." I was stunned when she began casually removing her clothes. Her tits were her finest feature. The twin beauties hung like ripe fruit on her chest. In my fantasies, I had always imagined a full bush on her pussy. My fantasies had been right.
"Okay, let's do it," she said, as she went to her back on the bed. As I mounted her and noticed the tiny crowsfeet at the corners of her eyes, I realized that I was about to fuck a woman my mother's age. That didn't bother me in the least. I had always heard that older women are better at fucking than young ones and I was going to find out if it was true.
Doctor Kelly's cunt was as hot and tight as any that I had had. I imagined that my cock was a crowbar and her pussy was a door that I was trying to pry open. Each thrust went in at a different angle and to a different depth. I call it finesse-fucking and have had great success with it. The good doctor soon began to huff and puff in my ear. Her belly heaved as it slapped against mine. She continuously babbled something about giving it a good test. My cock slid in more smoothly as she juiced up.
"Oh, my Gawd! Oh, my Gawd! OH, MY GAWD!" A series of strong Kegels clamped down on my cock. I nearly came but somehow managed to hold back. I wanted to fuck that snooty bitch into a coma. There I was fucking her as good as she had ever had it, and she wouldn't let me call her by her first name.
"All right, now listen carefully," she whispered. "I want you to switch holes and do it as quickly and smoothly as possible. Now! SWITCH NOW!"
Her orgasm hadn't come to a full stop and she was trembling beneath me. I pulled my cock out and took a quick look to see if the rubber was still intact. It appeared to be, but I couldn't be sure without a load in it. My cock slipped into her ass as smoothly as a torpedo into a torpedo tube. I had acquired a taste for ass and had come to prefer it to pussy. I had never done it from the front before. Even though there were some advantages, like feeling her bush against my belly, I still preferred rear penetration so I could feel the ass against me.
Doctor Kelly's orgasm started up again. She forced her hand between our bellies and masturbated vigorously to speed things up. She demanded that I fuck her faster and deeper. I gave her the full length of my prong on each thrust. I picked up speed until I was delivering two strokes per second. But my efforts weren't enough for her and she drove her ass up against me. She blubbered like a madwoman as she came again and again.
"Let it go, damnit! I can't take anymore! Shoot your load! SHOOT YOUR LOAD!"
I hooked her legs back with my arms and threw all of my weight on her. I struggled to get every bit of my cock into her. I came so hard that I saw stars and heard bells. The best fuck of my life ended with the best orgasm of my life. Both of us looked down at my cock as it emerged from the greasy tunnel. "We make the best fucking rubbers in the world," she said, as she admired my creamy load in the tip.
I told Becky about fucking Doctor Kelly and we decided to talk to her about a threesome, but neither of us could work up the courage to ask her. I fucked her about once a week after that. She continued to pair me off with other women but she needed a turn occasionally. Most of my partners were students but there were a few housewives earning a little spending money. Knowing that they were married made fucking them all the more exciting. I fucked more than one-hundred-and-fifty women during the year that I worked for Doctor Kelly. How many of the rubbers broke, did you ask? Take my advice and don't trust them for birth control.