The Dark Alley

I guess I'm old-fashioned. If a lady looked and acted and smelled pretty, you complimented her on her good tastes. It made her feel feminine, sexy, appealing – Special!

These days are long gone, ground into the dust of a new, "sterile", impersonal age.

I had been working at Integrated Allied for about 2 years now.

I've always had a deep love for belly-dancers; what they do, the way they use their bodies, the very sweet sexiness of their bellies, their navels and the way they sway and shiver, shimmy and totally mesmerize you, drawing your mind, your body, your whole being into their lovely, erotic dance.

Standing about 5' tall, with dark hair past her shoulders and tiny, petite features, she was so very PRETTY!!!! She looked like she had Spanish features, but others as well – possibly Celtic. She could have been one of my sisters, as each one of them shared her features. On the very first day that she started working with our company I knew she was a belly-dancer; she told me. She had been listening to Middle Eastern music. When I asked her about the music she told me then that she was a belly-dancer. There was this convention coming up and she wanted to use the company camera to capture pictures of the dancers. I explained to her I thought it would be all right.

Looking back on it now, what a foolish mistake it was to say this, but I revealed to her that I was deeply thrilled by belly-dancers.

I suppose that set the precedence right there – although she seemed at the beginning to be pleased that I liked belly-dancers, even allowing me to borrow her CDs to burn copies of her music.

In my mind, I was totally thrilled that I had a friend that was a "BELLY-DANCER!!!!" I was in Heaven! Stupid-me, I even wrote her an e-mail telling her how very thrilled I was to see a smiling face every morning - rather than looking at the "Goony" faces of some of my other fellow employees in support. I never got an answer back from her – so, fearing that she resented or was somehow embarrassed by my e-mails, I stopped writing to her. It was wonderful, though, the other guys would tease her and she seemed to like it, teasing back. I was a little shy, so I never did enter into it. Although approaching her mid 30's I would say, she was GORGEOUS! My eyes hurt every time I looked at her – and she had a way of playing with her hair and then arching her back, her tee shirt riding up and showing her cute navel. The view to me was HEAVENLY!!!!

GOD, it hurts to this day! I'll never forget walking down the hall with her. She was wearing a perfume that was very sweet and fragrant, a very nice smell – and I commented to her that I liked her perfume. Later on, I was called into my supervisor's office saying that a complaint had been filed against me. I had commented on a girl's perfume. It was termed as sexual harassment! GOD, I was so HURT that she would do this to me! Thinking she was a friend, and holding a small amount of fan worship, I was and still am, attracted to her. I've never been great on social graces and occasionally I would say or do something that would get me into trouble, not because I meant anything lewd or anything, but because I thought the girl really WAS pretty, or because I held an affection for her and thought her "wonderful." I thought Celina was "wonderful". All those other hurts in my mind, I was crushed at this "betrayal!"

For the longest time, I could not lift my eyes to look at her. I stared down at the floor or someplace else. I didn't WANT her to know how very hurt I was. I've never been very good at hiding my feelings either – face it! I'm a MESS!!! I'm SURE she could see how hurt I was. Oddly enough, out of the corner of my eye, I would still see her glance at me. Was she looking at me because she was wary of me? I'm not a young person, and maybe that's where the resentment comes from, because I'm NOT young and I shouldn't be feeling these feelings: "Quote! - Unquote!" GOD! She'd be standing there, and, out of the corner of my eye, I would even notice her arch her back a little, revealing her tummy and then quickly glance at me as if I had noticed (or if I was leering?).

It never got any better. I had gotten my hand slapped really, really HARD and from that day forward, I did all I could not to say ANYTHING to her except totally job related – not even a joke or a comment about the weather.

Still, here it came! She complained that I had made a comment about her clothes! As far as I remembered, I didn't DARE say anything personal to her at ALL!!!! GOD, I hate being so Emotional!!! My boss told me about it and said if this happens again, I would be FIRED! I ranted, raved and yelled that "I DIDN'T DO OR SAY ANYTHING!" I suppose they relented because they told me that the two of us would need to find a way to work with each other – and that she would be getting this same lecture – but if this happens again, one of us would have to leave. I never seemed to have gotten that letter in my file that they said I was going to get. Or, at least they never showed it to me.

Later on, I was even assigned to WORK with her, side-by-side helping with QA'ing the products – testing and reporting. Day-by-day, we worked next to each other on the various test benches and said very, very little to each other. It seems things were getting better, though, because I did find out that she enjoyed the same type of movies I did. The day before, I had again watched the movie "The Mummy" and was dumbstruck by how very similar the heroine looked to Celina. I mentioned to her that I liked the modern version of "The Mummy", not daring to mention about "the heroine", with all the Egyptology stuff in it, thinking that because she was a belly-dancer, that she would like Egyptology stuff. I also mentioned "Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade" and "The Hunt for Red October." I told her that I enjoyed the interplay between Sean Connery and Harrison Ford, in "Last Crusade". She admitted to me that she liked those movies too.

Things did seem to be getting better between her and me – I tried my best not to be angry or resentful with her, but even started to greet her with "good morning" and saying, "have a good lunch" and things. She even offered me half her sandwich one day – it was a very good sandwich.

Walking down the hall, I would notice her looking at me and giving me a smile. Although I was still trying to keep from offending her, keeping my eyes averted; inwardly I smiled back. Still, one day I mentioned to her that I really needed to be back in QA helping out, having been intermittently pulled to other duties. She said "No, that's ok, we really don't need the help" despite her supervisors asking me to help. GOD, will I ever get away from it!!!??? A huge feeling of rejection rushed through me.

Days before, during QA'ing, I remember my supervisor coming in and checking on us one time, asking about something. His parting comment to both of us was "Are you two playing nicely together? No problems?" GOD, I could tell BOTH of us were totally MORTIFIED!!!! She didn't say anything and neither did I! I sat like a STONE, my face and ears burning.

Sally, this other girl that I work with; she and I have become really good friends. Although older than Celina, she's really CUTE with this pretty blonde hair and these "pixie" features. She seems to be a lot more understanding about things so she and I became quite close. When the boss would say something stupid or rant about something, she and I would glance at each other and smile, inwardly rolling our eyes to the heavens and gasping. She even lets me give her a hug now and then or a kind pat on the back during really high stress times – just to let her know that I care. I found I could talk to her over just about anything.

I guess I had to tell someone – I told her about what's been going on between Celina and I; not naming Celina by name – I didn't have to. She knows how attracted I am to belly-dancers, and of course she also knows that Celina is one. She knows that I really care very deeply about the people I work with – considering them more than just fellow employees but "friends," even Celina.

Earlier I had mentioned that I was a rock painter and had even brought in some of my rocks – including this really cute raccoon I had done years before. Sally told me that Celina was impressed and had asked how I had gotten such very fine texture to the fur.

I showed my rocks to Celina, including my rabbits. She held them, showing a twinkle in her eyes, which pleased me, being that she liked them. "Theodore", one of my rabbits, was my favorite. I had done him the best and felt that the name "Theodore" was perfect for him.

It was this particular rabbit that I gave her, and told her that this was a peace offering. She even smiled at me and said thank you. "People that know me know that I am a bunny-type girl." My heart melted. I knew what type of "bunny" she meant and that it was no reference to anything lewd, but that she loved stuffed bunnies. I was thrilled that she had revealed this to me – and could envision her, this pretty little petite, dark-haired girl surrounded by all these stuffed bunnies, holding them in her arms and cuddling them to her.

She totally threw me a curve, because it was a week later that she revealed to me that I wasn't needed in QA – (she just-plain did NOT want my help).

I had discovered this restaurant just a couple of days previous down in old town – Saphira's. The name pretty much said it all – it was a Middle Eastern Restaurant specializing in Egyptian and Moroccan food. I had never been to a Middle Eastern restaurant or had Middle Eastern food. What drew me was the entertainment – it advertised belly-dancing on Friday and Saturday Nights from 7 to 9:30. I was ANXIOUS to see them.

I explained to the waiter that I was unaccustomed to Middle Eastern cuisine and asked if he would order for me.

What came was GREAT! Some sort of meat with a delicious couscous, that one at least I knew. However, it was flavored with a very mild form of curry and cashews – it was MARVELOUS! The wine was delicious although I can't remember what he said it was called.

Dessert was this fabulous custard with some sort of a sauce over it. It made your mouth water. But, the BEST part of the dessert was NOT the dessert itself, but the floor show, because out came this really pretty long-blonde haired beauty dressed in silks of various colors. Her dance made your mouth water as you watched her shimmy and does figure eights, listened to the hypnotic tinkle of her finger cymbals and the little tinkling chains that surrounded her pretty little ankles. Her navel was deep and oval – almost slit-like. She was BEAUTIFUL! I could hardly eat my dessert from watching her, wanting to take some of this luscious cream and place it in her navel – and use it for my dessert cup.

Dancer upon dancer came out, dancing various speeds and types of dances, some wild and spinning, some soft and swaying – moody even, and then of course, the sword dance.

Nothing, but NOTHING prepared me for the final dance.

A blue spotlight hit the stage as the room lights were dimmed. A soft mist began rising as the music changed to a somber, hypnotic, slow mood.

All of a sudden, this very lovely creature came out, the blue light illuminating her in this fantasy hue as she slowly began swaying like a serpent, every inch of her body involved down to her tiny little feet, her pretty belly softly undulating in and out like that previously mentioned serpent.

OH . . . . . MY . . . . . . GOD!!!!!!!!

It was CELINA!!!! Celina was dancing before me in this restaurant!!!!

My mouth went totally dry and I was totally unaware that my mouth was hanging open!

I was scared half out of my MIND!!! If I could have hid behind something, if I could have RAN if I could have somehow covered myself I would have! But, I was in the front row middle and she was swaying slowly in front of me – her body almost in a trance slowly weaving her erotic magic before me!

My God, she hadn't noticed me. She kept on dancing, swaying and weaving, her arms intertwined, her belly shivering and swaying as she performed figure-eights, belly-rolls, etc. I watched as her arms slowly traversed across her body to stop at her deep, beautiful, erotic navel – shivering and quaking, moving in a quick shudder as her eyes met mine.

My body totally froze. A grinding, searing pain gnawed at my insides! I held my belly as if letting go would mean that my guts would fall on the floor at her feet. I held my stomach hard as I watched her tummy shuddering in quick in and out pants, her fingers lightly brushing her navel.

It was like in slow motion as I watched her dancing with her veils, like curtains of her hair brushing over my face, deep, colorful, rich curtains of her hair drifting in waves over my face – my blood ran like ice water. Looking into her eyes, I could see this cold stare as she envisioned someone she never wanted to have around, be a witness to her art. Staring at me with a vengeful, sinister glare in her eye, I watched as she smiled back at me with a wicked gleam in her eyes.

The music erupted in quick patterns as she began spinning wildly, the room spinning as I watched her, her feet dancing in dizzying circles as her veils surrounded her like a coiled viper. Again and again and again with this same siren look in her eyes she focused on me as she drew veil after veil over my face and around my head, driving me slowly mad – giving me a huge taste of what I would NEVER have; taunting me, laughing at me inwardly – "so THIS is what you wanted, huh Ted," I envisioned her thinking. "How do you like, what you KNOW you will NEVER in your wildest dreams EVER HAVE!!!!!!?????"

My heart was BURSTING because I felt deep in the core of my body the disdain with which she viewed me – this little WORM of a man!!! This, old, tired, leering, limp-dicked worthless heap of a man – this old, sex-starved man! Every single glare of her eyes showed me her disdain for me, told me how much she loathed me – how much she did not WANT me here!

She taunted me, dancing wildly before me as she ground this moment into my face, arching her back, shimmying like "Jell-O" and bringing her navel to within an INCH of my lips as I watched those tiny little diamond beads of sweat covering her swaying undulating belly. Oh, my GOD, the perfume!!!!!

With a thumping beat on the drum she fell to her knees, the music ended as she remained before me, arched, panting; her arms behind her head, her belly arched and heaving with her navel leering at me, her eyes lifted to the heavens.

Then, just as smartly, she stood up; jerking her head around as she quickly stomped out, a tiny, final defiant wiggle to her ass, grinding the taste of her deeply into my memory.

My heart was ground to a gooey, bleeding pulp! I don't know how long I stayed frozen in my chair after the dance ended. Finally, someone shook me and I came to, my eyes hurting, my heart and soul totally ground into the dust under her tiny dancer feet.

Looking around, I saw I was the last customer in the place. Totally crushed by one person, I stood up weakly as the waiter laughed,

"Another Zombie, Saphira! You did it again with Celina – Ha Ha!!!!"

"Best investment I've ever made, with that one," came the rapport from the kitchen.

One foot in front of the other, I moved out of the restaurant as visions of her veils grinded at my heart and soul – her half-smiling, glaring eyes boring through me like a red-hot scimitar – right through the center of my belly. I staggered into the night, clutching it as I envisioned her wildly and erotically swaying, shivering belly/navel.

GOD, it was cold! At least, it sure seemed cold in comparison to the usually warm Northern California nights that we usually had. Or, was it the visions in my head, causing my heart to ache as if ground underfoot? The cold helped bring me back to reality as I began searching for my car. Tomorrow was Sunday, and then Monday would come, and I would have to face Celina and again feel her eyes burning through me.

I wanted to run away – to ANYWHERE, just not back to work and HER. I clutched my head and my stomach; my head spinning, burning with a severe headache – a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.

My car was parked two blocks away from the restaurant. Because of how busy it was tonight, I had to park far away from the restaurant parking lot, walking through this dark alley. Entering it, I heard this scurrying and the sounds of tin cans being kicked around. Thinking it was only alley cats; I didn't pay much mind to it. As I drew closer, however, I heard the distinct sounds of angry, threatening voices, male voices! And, something more, I heard the sound of a scared female voice! OH, MY GOD!!!! It's Celina!!!! Something's wrong! I heard them threaten her! I heard them threaten to STAB her if she didn't comply with what, I don't know!

My heart pounding, my mind raced. God, should I run for help? By the time I come back she could be DEAD! I glanced around for whatever I could find, feverish to do SOMETHING!!! My eyes ran across a four - foot long or-so pipe lying in a corner, lit by the moon. I rushed over and grabbed it. Hearing a scream, I ran frantically, gasping and panting as I yelled out, "LEAVE HER ALONE YOU SONS OF BITCHES!"

Rounding the dumpster that they were hiding behind, I saw Celina crushed up against the side of the building, a man's hand around her throat holding her up against the building as he was lifting up her shirt high, someone else laughing in the shadows, her pretty white belly visible in the moonlight. I heard the scared, trembling sound in her voice and heard her plead for help! I saw her look at me, crying out to me, reaching to me for help. I've never been a brave person, but even death itself was forgotten when I heard her voice.

I SCREAMED,

"You Bastards from Fucking Hell, LEAVE HER ALONE," as I came running up to them like a Berserker, swinging my pipe at them.

I could see the gleam of a knife in his hands, pointing at her navel – GOD; he was going to stab her! Swinging wildly, they saw this maniac running up to them, screaming curses, the blur of the pipe gleaming malevolently in the moonlight. They immediately dropped their knives and started running. Not bothering to chase them, but looking back on Celina, I watched as she slowly slumped to the pavement, crying and sobbing, her hands clutching her bare tummy. She lay in a little heap on the ground, her body wracked by fear and horror, crying pitifully, her shoulders heaving.

Dropping the pipe, I rushed up to her crying, "Celina, Celina!"

She looked up at me through fear-wracked, tear-stained eyes, her little body shivering like a leaf. Tenderly, lovingly I knelt by her as I reached out for her. Like a drowning person clinging to a life raft, she threw her little arms around my neck as I gathered her to me like a little child. I could feel her whole body convulsing, her little tummy pressed against mine, heaving and jumping as she cried her heart out. Oh, GOD, I held her so very CLOSE, not wanting to let her go! I found that my tears were running down her neck, I was crying as well. Sitting on the pavement, Celina in my arms, I half-held her on my lap as we both cried and cried, holding my little friend in my arms as I cried for her and with her, her tears wetting my shirt as I consoled this little scared helpless girl in my arms – a totally different Celina from what I knew. Through her tears, she even told me that she had tried to fight them off – she had been studying karate and had even landed some blows. Her little sandals lay about 7 feet or so from her, her tiny feet cut from trying to fend them off, apparently having been cut by their knives or the rocks and glass. She looked up at me through those pretty, soft-brown eyes of hers and sobbed,