The Dawn of Wynter Ch. 04

"If I knew any better Philippe, I would say you've come to care for the girl," he said with a knowing smile.

"I simply recognize a damaged soul that is all," brushing off the comment with a wave of a hand.

"You are not so damaged as you may lead yourself to believe, Philippe," Xander's voice held a myriad of emotions in his tone, one that Philippe had heard many times. They were skirting around a touchy subject, one he didn't care to discuss at the moment. Xander had helped him through many difficult times in his life, but one had nearly killed him and he wanted to forget about it all together.

"It may yet prove to be useful," he continued, trying to ignore Xander's comment, "If she has better control, then she may be able to put the council's suspicions at ease."

The truth was Zara was all he could think about lately. She enveloped every thought he had; her scent was forever ingrained in his memory. They had been working together for the past month to make her stronger. He saw a more confident Zara emerge. Not to say she held no confidence before he stepped in, it was merely a lack of it when it came to her abilities specifically. He felt proud to have been a part of that, although he would never let her know. He could not let anyone know how much he had truly come to care for her. It had taken sheer willpower to make himself get on the plane to Rome for the ridiculous meeting they had today. In truth, he couldn't wait to get back, to see her. She had become a part of his day to day life, and he felt comfort in that.

Xander cleared his throat, "Yes, clearly you have no feelings towards her," he said sarcastically, with a knowing smile, ignoring his friend's attempt to change the subject. His mouthed twitched slightly as he fought to hold back a laugh. In the moment Philippe had gone silent he saw a glimmer of longing on his face. He looked like a child whose toy had been taken away.

Philippe glared at him, "I'm glad you find this amusing," he growled before slumping into an armchair. He couldn't hide anything from his friend.

Xander finally let go and began chuckling. He had rarely seen his friend look so defeated. Philippe always held confidence and bravado, his humour always shining through. Leave it to Zara to break this ancient vampire, he thought. He moved to a small table set behind his desk and poured two glasses of scotch, the amber liquid would definitely relax the Frenchman.

"Here," he said, pushing the glass of liquor into his friend's hand, "you look like you could use a drink."

"I could use several," he groaned eyeing the full decanter longingly. "You have no idea how infuriating your little apprentice is. So bloody infuriating and yet so damn charming," he sighed, looking up at Xander.

"Oh, I know," he said smirking, "all too well."

"Let me tell you, mon ami, you are in for a serious ass-kicking," he chuckled.

"Yes, well perhaps I deserve it after all these years. You should be more worried about yourself. How will you proceed, now that you have taken a liking to her?"

"Am I that obvious?"

Xander merely smiled, waiting for an answer. Philippe was quiet for some time, thinking. His friend was far too calm considering the information he had just learned. How was he not objecting to Philippe's new found feelings, especially since he was so protective of her? After all his warnings not to pursue her. He wondered if telling him the true depth of his feelings would be such a bad thing. The more he thought about the entire situation, he found it strange how well everything had played out, almost as if...He decided his safest way to proceed was to be blunt, all cards on the table.

"You planned this didn't you? You knew I wouldn't be able to resist her. You knew she would affect me this way, and I her, although I'm sure she would lay with Dymas before admitting that to me."

"I have no idea what you're talking about. Honestly Philippe, you sound ridiculous. And Dymas? Really? Zara would not approach him if her life depended on it."

Philippe snorted. He knew Xander, and this was right up his alley. He had been trying to get him to open up again, but Philippe refused to do so, confident he would never be able to care for anyone or anything again since losing Veronique, his sister and his only family. Similarly, Zara needed someone to guide her, to give her the confidence she needed to accept herself for what she was, but she would never admit that to anyone, so she lived her life in a cocoon, dealing with things on her own.

Both of them were too stubborn to accept any help of any kind. While Philippe knew when his friend was interfering, Zara had no idea. It seemed however, that this time Xander had outmaneuvered them both. He had staged all the players and let them play exactly how he had thought they would. Had it been anyone else, Philippe would have been outraged, but he knew Xander only had the best of intentions. The question was whether Philippe would play along.

"Tell me something...do you still love her Xander?"

His friend's head shot up to look at him in surprise.

"She told me...about that night. I never knew, until then," Philippe continued.

There was a long pause before he answered, "I had turned her with the intention of finding a mate yes, but that was not where fate had destined her to go. It was made clear to me soon after I turned her that our fates were meant to cross but never align. I have given up the notion that Zara will see me as anything more than her maker. I am content with that."

"Yes, but do you still love her? I need to know Xander. I tell you this only because of the respect I have for you, as a brother and friend. I have developed...feelings," he practically choked on the word it seemed so unfamiliar to him, "for her, more than I care to admit, even to you, but I will not pursue this if you love her still."

Xander sighed, "Philippe, it's complicated," he said wearily. There was much he could not divulge to the Frenchman, not yet. "Yes, I love her, but I know that I am not meant for her, and try as I might I could not get her to reciprocate those feelings. I love her as a father would a daughter; I have accepted that as my role in her life, even if I haven't made contact in all these years."

"You know...you should visit her soon...before the council does. I imagine she will be less forgiving if she were to see you for the first time as the Vyrkaryan member interrogating her family and stealing her brother away."

"I'm afraid there is no easy way about this Philippe. I will have to wait for the right moment." For both of you, he added silently.

"Yes, well don't wait too long my friend," he said downing the remnants of his drink and setting the glass on the table next to him before rising, "Now, if you will excuse me, I must get back to the States, my plane leaves in an hour."

"Very well, I shall see you in two weeks time," he replied rising and embracing Philippe, "Oh, and not a word of what has happened here today to Kai. He needs to believe everything is going as planned. We need him to act naturally at the meeting."

"Very well," Philippe agreed. They clapped each other on the back before he began making his way outside.

"Philippe!" he called before the Frenchman got into his car, "good luck!"

Philippe broke into a large smile; he would need all the luck in the world. Getting Zara to see that he was more than just interested in her body was going to be a near impossible feat. He had done a great job of setting himself up for disappointment. While he knew he held feelings for her, he was still a man who had spent the majority of his life away from commitment and, however much he didn't want to admit it, he was vulnerable to mistakes, and he had made many along the way. This wasn't going to be easy. But hey, he thought, when has anything worthwhile ever been easy.

--

Zara's muscles strained as she fought to control the power flowing through her body. Her skin was soaked in sweat, beads trickling down her body. It had been a month since Philippe had revealed his true nature to her. They were in the gym training, as they had every day since. Today he was being tougher on her, since they had missed two days due to his trip to Europe earlier in the week. When she thought back to that day on the hill, when he had told her the truth, she felt like she made a true connection with someone for the first time in her entire existence. Something beyond what she felt for her brother, or Stefân or Antony. Not to negate any of those relationships, but what happened on that hill was singular; something only she and Philippe would share and understand.

Only he could understand they were the same unique being in a world full of normal, as normal as vampires could be. As strange as that sounded to her, it was the best way to explain it. She always felt like the odd one out, and now she did not have to experience that alone. She had to remind herself of that constantly because it didn't change the fact that Philippe was an asshole at the best of times, and still came on to her relentlessly, but she knew how to deal with it now. She found that, with some effort, she could tolerate him, so long as she knew there was someone else who could make sense of who and what she was. Although lately, he was causing more questions than providing answers. She let out a loud huff and gave up trying to tap into the part of her she kept closed off for so long. Philippe was standing in front of her, his head shaking in disappointment.

"Non! Non, non non! You cannot give up so easily! You must try harder. Watch," He stood in front of her with his palms held up, his eyes closed in concentration, "Just imagine that you are like a tree, oui?" he whispered, "Your body is the trunk, and you are drinking from the earth to feed the branches yes? This is the same! You must allow your energy to flow through you, feel it in every cell of your body and concentrate it to one hand, like the branch!", his eyes flew open and she felt a pulse push her back quite forcefully, "Just like that. Alors, try again," gesturing for her to begin.

Zara fixed him with a look of death and wanted to tell him where exactly he could shove that tree he was talking about. He looked at her and laughed.

"I heard that, ma chérie. That is not very polite you know."

"Stay out of my head, Philippe!" she hissed.

"Make me," he retorted.

She gasped as an image of them making love suddenly flooded her mind, their naked bodies entangled as he thrust into her relentlessly and her face expressing the utmost pleasure. It was something he had taken to doing, planting images and scenes in her head, some of them so detailed she could sometimes feel a caress on her skin or the touch of his lips against hers. The bastard was pushing himself deeper into her mind. And making her hornier by the day. She growled before concentrating all her energy into her hands and a large pulse threw Philippe across the room with a loud crash into the opposite wall, causing some of it to crumble and fall with him. He had landed on the floor and was getting up but she wasn't quite done, now that she had tapped into that part of herself. She had him pinned up high against a wall with the flip of her hand, his body immobilized, as if invisible restraints had bound him.

"Don't do that again, comprends?!" she yelled at him, panting slightly, as she struggled to control this raw power. He simply laughed, a deep rumble echoing in the room and all of a sudden he was free, sliding down the wall smoothly and she was the one paralyzed in her place. He strode towards her, grinning as he reset a dislocated shoulder. She was pushing against her invisible restraints, trying to get herself to move again but she felt drained, the previous show of power taking everything she had. She watched, helpless as he now stood before her, eyeing her from head to toe, a frown crossing his face, as though he were thinking of something extremely serious.

"Let us not forget who has been doing this longer ma petite," he said with a mocking smile, "While that little show was impressive, I will always outclass you, it's simple math," he added at her outraged glare, "I've lived longer. However I must say bravo, you finally did it. All I had to do was provoke you. We will have to work with that until you can put aside your emotions and simply control it, but it's a start."

He stood so close to her, she could see the different flecks of gold in his blue eyes, and feel the heat of his breath against her skin. His head was cocked to one side as he roamed around her paralyzed body, like a lion circling around its prey before the kill. He came to a stop behind her, and she felt him move her long ponytail to the side slowly as he ran his nose along the length of her neck, breathing her in. Everywhere he touched her left a trail of fire behind. She was seething as he used his superior power to keep her still as he got closer. The back of his fingers trailed the length of her bare arm, leaving a trail of goose bumps behind. If she was able to, she would have shivered, and she cursed her body for reacting to him at all.

"So, is this what you do Philippe, to get women to your bed? Paralyze them so they have no choice," she hissed, as he planted a light kiss where her neck and shoulder met, and then another as he moved to the back of her shoulder blade. It took all her strength not to let out a moan of pleasure. She couldn't deny it, it felt good, but she would be damned if she let him know.

"No, but I thought while I had you here, I may try," he chuckled, his breath tickling her skin.

He stepped away from her and she felt herself able to move again. She whipped around and was about to punch him before he ducked out of the way, catching her arm and twisting it behind her back, once again putting her at a disadvantage.

"I mean it Philippe, don't ever do that to me again," her voice trembling in anger, as she struggled to get free, but his grip was iron clad. All she could do was glare over her shoulder at him.

"Why not? Are you secretly beginning to enjoy it? I can show you what it would really be like. Would it be so horrible, dear Zara, for me and you to explore what strange attraction there is between us?"

She snorted; deciding the best thing to do was keep silent. She didn't want to admit that she was ready to jump his bones right this moment, after all the images he had so conveniently showed her day after day. It was also the fact that for some damn reason whenever they touched, something in the air changed, and it was all she could do not to be pulled into it -- to him. It was as if something was forcing them together, refusing to yield until some untold outcome played out.

"I cannot promise anything my dear," he said after she refused to answer his question, "You see this is the only way I know to make you react. Your emotions seem to unlock what you kept caged for centuries."

She hated to admit it, but Philippe was right. She had finally done what they were working on for two days straight. She just wished he would let her rest for a day. She felt so drained and it was becoming harder and harder to control her mental shields and the force of her power. It seemed to her that the harder she tried to control it, the more sporadic it became. Philippe wouldn't have any of it, and she strongly suspected that he wanted her shields down, so he could pull those little tricks on her. He had even made her get rid of her ring and its enchantments during their sessions, saying it was holding her back.

The first few days they had trained she had bested him in everything, but the harder they trained and the more he asked her to use those abilities which she always shied away from, the more tired she grew and she was finding it harder and harder to tap into her powers at all. It was ironic in a way. She had hated that part of herself for so long, but now that it was more difficult to use, she found she missed it. It made her want to work harder and once and for all gain complete control of her abilities. Perhaps that was Philippe's plan all along.

Philippe had showed her what he was capable of during the past month. A lot of the things she could do; summon objects from thin air, read minds, manipulate objects and elements. Some things, she hadn't known she could control, like today. Usually those shows of power would burst when she felt a particular emotion strongly. She had never attempted to dip into that part of her because she had seen firsthand what it could do, so she naturally shied away from it. It had taken a lot of convincing on Philippe's part to even get her to attempt this.

While she appreciated all of Philippe's help, she still felt he was keeping something from her, like there was something he would not show her. When she asked him about his maker and when he knew he was different and how he learned to hone his energy and power, he would not answer her. He would simply smile and say "another time ma petite" and claim fatigue before ending the training session. It annoyed her, as most things concerning Philippe did. He was like a puzzle that refused to be solved, the harder she tried to piece it together, the more frustrated she became. It went without saying that she too infuriated Philippe, and on more than one occasion he had claimed it was the last time he was helping her. She refused to do things his way at times, okay most of the time, which usually ended with them yelling and throwing sharp or heavy objects at each other.

Stefâne had taken to removing a lot of furniture from areas around the house after one particular incident which left a two hundred year old vase the unfortunate victim of their argument, parts of which if she had had her way, would still be embedded into Philippe's skin. Stefâne had enough when only two days later he walked into the main living area to find the dark Brazilian rosewood coffee table had been turned into nothing more than bits firewood. Philippe had been lying on top of them, pulling bits of wood from his body and flicking them aside. His only explanation was to shrug at Stefân and say 'She's feisty she is.' He had kicked them both out into the gardens after being so fed up of their bickering, yelling at them to 'get a fucking room and end this nonsense' before slamming and locking the back door to the main hall.

Philippe knew Zara was keeping certain abilities from him as well, the more he pushed to find out what she was truly capable of, the harder she pushed back. The woman was testing his patience every day and it was a miracle he hadn't killed her yet. She pushed buttons in him he had thought long forgotten. He often found himself wondering how a younger vampire could cause him to lose his patience, something he had developed and perfected in his extremely long life.

He wanted to call Xander on many occasions and curse the day he tasked him to this assignment, but then he remembered that would mean he would have to admit to Xander that he couldn't get Zara to give into his will, that she was putting up the toughest fight he'd experience in quite some time. He found he could deal with Zara's infuriating attitude rather than face Xander's teasing.

He tried to make it as pleasant as possible for himself by purposefully provoking her, just as he had a few moments ago. If he couldn't bed her, he could at least show her what it would be like. Most of the time it worked. It would push her to the point where she had no choice but to react. It wasn't exactly doing much to change the way she perceived him, but he had grown so comfortable with this version of himself, it was difficult to be anything else.

"You could be a bit more original," she huffed, giving up trying to get free, "This whole you sleeping with me is getting quite old Philippe."