The Dayton Hillbillies Ch. 02

California... Anaheim... Disneyland

And suddenly, the loudspeakers all over the park announced, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome the Dayton Hillbilly Marching Band from Dayton Ridge, Texas." A momentary hush fell over the crowds, until from beyond the Matterhorn came the sound of drums and then the sound of horns, cymbals and washboards as the band played "The Horse" and marched to their position directly in front of Cinderella's Castle.

The people all gathered as the drum majors silently slipped into position and Disneyland witnessed the final performance of "The Whupass Sword of Zorro," featuring Tuna Bell on washboard. It was an amazing performance as the crowds watched the flutes and clarinets lead into trumpets and soon the music echoed into Tomorrowland, Adventureland, and down Main Street USA.

All too soon, the trumpet players drew their horns like swords and the Dayton Hillbilly Marching Band from Dayton Ridge, Texas slipped into the drum feature as snare, tenor, and bass crashed in their syncopated rhythm with the castanets clicking loudly. Then there was complete silence as Tuna Bell, stepped forward and placed her heavy-duty swivel stool on the ground, sat down and began her washboard serenade.

In what seemed like only a moment, the entire twenty seven minute serenade flashed before our eyes and cameras. Then Tuna Bell stood up, waddled back into the band and once again the Hillbillies were on the move, marching in their beautiful new cut off blue jean uniforms around the square and up Main Street USA, parting the crowd and stunning the people with their music.

Running behind, trying to catch up, the chaperones listened to the cheers and paused as they tried to explain to the fascinated fans, "Dayton Ridge, Texas... It's about 30 miles right of Houston." Or after the band's amazing performance, perhaps the chaperones should have said "Houston? Well it's the big town about 30 miles left of DAYTON RIDGE, TEXAS."

For a few minutes the Dayton Marching Hillbilly Band from Dayton Ridge, Texas was on the minds and lips of everyone at the Magic Kingdom. Even after the disasters in New Orleans and all the missing luggage we finally found tied to some goats in the back of bus and the mysterious disappearing trombone everything was perfectly all-right. By that evening we had found the bags and the band was whole... whole except for the hole in the low brass.

It was a mystery for sure, Mom was convinced the trombone was still at the Hillbilly Band Hall in Dayton Ridge, Texas, an opinion that brought a fierce growl from a normally calm trombone player. When the band played the trombone players simply traded horns, grossing out the entire clarinet section. The trombone players simply smiled and said, "Hey, it's just like tradin' spit back behind the band hall."

"Ewwww..." the clarinet section moaned.

Everyone expected the horn to reappear like the luggage, but as the trip wore on, the trombone remained missing in action. The band actually got to record a soundtrack to some Disney cartoons and then went onto a California Adventure on Sunday. Monday took them to Universal Studios and at dinner they all paraded into the Middle Ages as they had dinner at Medieval Times. The knights fought, the band ate and the horses, well, the horses did what horses do... right there in front of the dinner table, but the trombone did not return.

On Tuesday, the band, less one trombone, toured Hollywood and headed to the airport, where they didn't find the trombone. After a long flight, the tired equipment crew pulled up to the Hillbilly Band Hall back in Dayton Ridge, Texas and looked in the band hall and to their amazement, there was no trombone. The mystery horn was simply gone... The band director led the services as his assistant, the trombone loving musician, officially went into mourning.

Most stories would end there, at the tragic demise of a famous horn... but, no, you see, this is not just any band, this is the Band Hillbillies Marching Dayton from Dayton Ridge, Texas and no horn, no matter how wayward, could bear to stay away. One day the phone rang and it was the trombone, freshly returned from a trip into Mississippi on the bus that took everyone to New Orleans so many days before, wanting to return to the band. The band director hopped in his car and retrieved the prodigal instrument, bringing it back into the fold and ending his assistant's, the trombone loving musician, bereavement.

Trombone and all, it had been a wonderful trip to New Orleans and California. Thank goodness it only comes around every four years for the Hillbillies Dayton Band Marching from Dayton Ridge, Texas.